Biquge www.xbiquge.bz, the fastest updated silent confession!
Therefore, James failed to stay at Harvard and eventually received an offer from the shabby Midwood College, but he accepted the offer with great relief. Small towns in Ohio replaced Boston. Weddings take the place of medical school. Plans are not as fast as changes.
"Baby," Marilyn kept repeating to James, "our baby is so wonderful." When they got married, the fetus was only three months old, and outsiders would not notice it. She also comforted herself: When the children grow up, you can come back and complete the last year of school. However, what Marilyn didn't know was that it would be almost eight years before she would set foot on campus again. She asked the dean for an indefinite leave, convinced that her dreams in life—to enter medical school and become a doctor—were waiting for her return, just like a well-trained dog waiting for its owner. Yet as Marilyn sat by the phone in the hall of her dormitory and told the long-distance operator her mother's phone number, her voice shook with each digit. Her mother's voice finally came from the other end of the phone. Marilyn forgot to say hello and just said vaguely: "I'm getting married. In June."
Her mother paused, then asked, "Who is he?"
"His name is James Lee."
"Are you a student?"
Marilyn felt warmth on her face. "He just finished his Ph.D. in American history." She hesitated, then decided to lie. "Harvard plans to hire him in the fall."
"So, he's a professor," my mother's tone suddenly became cheerful. "I'm so happy for you, honey. I can't wait to meet him."
Marilyn was relieved. Since her mother wasn't angry because she left school early, why should she mind? Didn’t she just fulfill her mother’s wish—to meet an outstanding Harvard man? She read the message on the memo: Friday, June 13, at half-past eleven, to be married by the justice of the peace, followed by lunch at Parker's. "The wedding party is small, just us, you, and a few of our friends. James' parents are dead."
"Lee," her mother said thoughtfully, "is he related to anyone we know?"
Marilyn suddenly realized what her mother was thinking. It was 1958, and their wedding was against the law in some rural parts of Virginia. Even in Boston, she sometimes gets disapproving looks from passers-by. Although her hair was much darker than in her childhood, she still attracted attention when she sat next to the dark-haired James in movie theaters, on park benches, and in Waldorf restaurants. At this time, a group of girls from Radcliffe College came down from the dormitory upstairs. One of them was waiting to use the phone, and the others gathered around the mirror in the hall to touch up their makeup. One girl heard that Marilyn was getting married a week ago and even went to her dormitory specifically to "see if it was true."
Marilyn held the receiver in one hand and pressed her belly with the other, trying to keep a cheerful tone. "I don't know, Mom," she said. "Why don't you ask him face to face?"
So her mother came from Virginia, her first time out of Virginia. Only a few hours after James' graduation ceremony, Marilyn was standing on the platform with him, waiting for her mother's train to arrive. She told herself: No matter what, my mother will come, even if I tell her everything. When her mother came to the platform and saw Marilyn, a smile quickly flashed across her face - mixed with pride - and at that moment, Marilyn felt that her guess was completely correct. Of course it is. However, her mother's smile was as fleeting as lightning, and her eyes quickly flickered between the blond woman on her daughter's left and the thin oriental man on her right, looking for the legendary James, but not sure. Finally, she understood. Within seconds she was holding James' hand, telling him she was very, very happy to see him and allowing him to carry her bag.
Marilyn and her mother had dinner alone that day, and her mother didn't mention James until dessert. She knew what her mother would ask—why do you love him? — She was ready to answer. However, the mother did not ask at all, did not mention the word "love", she just swallowed the cake in her mouth and looked at her daughter across the table. "Are you sure," she said, "that he's not just after the green card?"
Marilyn didn't dare look at her, so she could only stare at her hands and fork. Although protected by gloves and lemon-scented lotion, her hands were stained and there were some crumbs on the tip of the fork. There was a short wrinkle near her mother's eyebrow, as if someone had scratched her face with a knife. Years later, Hannah discovered that when her mother was worried, the same lines would appear on her face, although she did not know where the lines came from, and Marilyn would not admit that she and her mother had this resemblance. similarities. "He was born in California, Mom," she said. Her mother stopped looking at her and wiped her mouth with a handkerchief. Two red marks appeared on the linen material.
As they all waited in the courthouse on the morning of the wedding, Marilyn's mother had been fiddling with the clasp on her bag. They arrived nearly an hour early - worried about traffic jams, nowhere to park, and the temporary lack of a magistrate. James put on a brand new navy blue wool suit and kept patting the breast pocket to make sure that the two rings inside were not lost. His nervous and shy look made Marilyn want to kiss him in front of everyone. In twenty-five minutes she would be his wife. At this moment, her mother leaned over and clasped Marilyn's elbow like a vice.
"Your lipstick needs a touch-up," she said, pushing Marilyn into the women's room.
She should have known that this scene was coming sooner or later. Throughout the morning, her mother didn't like anything she saw - Marilyn's dress was not pure white, but milky white. It didn't look like a wedding dress. It was too plain and looked like a nurse's uniform. She didn't understand why Marilyn didn't hold the wedding in the church. There were many churches nearby; she didn't like the weather in Boston. Why was it so cold in June? Daisies are not a wedding flower; why not roses? Why is she in such a hurry? Why get married now and not wait any longer
If her mother could scold James in person, directly humiliate James, and criticize him for being too short, too poor, and not capable enough, things would be simple. But she just repeated over and over again: "It's not right, Marilyn, it's not right." Without specifying what "this" meant, she let the word echo in the air between them.
Marilyn pretended not to hear her nagging and took the lipstick out of her purse.
"You'll change your mind," her mother said, "and you'll regret it after a while."
Marilyn turned the plastic tube and bent to look in the mirror. Her mother suddenly came over and squeezed her shoulders desperately. There was fear in her eyes, as if Marilyn was about to rush to the edge of a cliff.
"Think about your future children," she said. "Where will you live? You won't fit in anywhere. You will regret it for the rest of your life."
"Stop talking," Marilyn shouted, slamming her fist on the edge of the sink. "This is my life, Mom, mine." She broke free from her mother's grasp, and the lipstick was thrown out and fell to the tiles on the floor. Somehow, the lipstick left a long scratch on her mother's sleeve. Without saying anything, she opened the bathroom door and left her mother alone inside.
Standing outside, James stared nervously at his bride-to-be. "What's wrong?" he leaned over and asked softly. She shook her head and replied in a self-deprecating whisper: "Oh, my mother thinks I should marry someone more like me." After that, she grabbed James' collar and pulled him over for a kiss. This is ridiculous, she thought, so obvious that I didn’t even need to say it.
Just a few days earlier, hundreds of miles away, another couple had entered into marriage—a white man and a black woman, sharing the most appropriate last name for the marriage—Law. Loving⑤. They were arrested in Virginia less than four months after their marriage. Law enforcement reminded them that Almighty God never intended for white, black, yellow and brown people to intermarry. There should not be mixed-race children, nor should there be any Lose your racial pride. They fought this for four years. It would be another four years before the courts recognized their marriage. However, it would be many years before their relationship was recognized by those around them. But some people, like Marilyn's mother, would never accept this.
Marilyn and James finished their kiss and found that her mother had walked out of the bathroom and stood quietly watching them from a distance. She didn't know how many times she wiped her sleeves with a towel, but she still couldn't get rid of the red stain that looked like blood. Marilyn wiped away the lipstick mark on James' upper lip and smiled proudly. He patted his breast pocket again to check if the ring was there. But to her mother, the gesture seemed like James was congratulating himself.
In Marilyn's memory, the subsequent wedding scenes were like a slideshow: the thin white line on the judge's bifocal glasses might be a white hair; there was a bouquet of baby's breath in her bouquet. ; Her former roommate Sandra stood up to toast, her goblet filled with mist. Under the table, her hand was holding James's, the wedding ring feeling cool against her skin. Across the table, her mother's exquisite hair style took a lot of effort to take care of. She had powder on her face and had to keep her mouth closed to cover up her crooked front teeth.
This was the last time Marilyn saw her mother.
①Radcliffe College: A women's liberal arts college located in Cambridge, Massachusetts, founded in 1879. It is one of the "Seven Sisters Colleges", the top seven women's liberal arts colleges in the United States. It has been fully integrated into Harvard University .
②All three of them were actors in movies featuring western cowboys in the 1930s and 1940s, and their classic images are the singing cowboy.
③Ellis Island: An island located in New York Harbor, New York, USA, adjacent to Liberty Island, where the Statue of Liberty is located. Ellis Island was the home of the Immigration Administration from January 1, 1892 to November 12, 1954. Many immigrants from Europe set foot on American soil here, underwent physical examinations and were questioned by immigration officers.
④ Betty Crocker: Betty Crocker is the famous baking brand owned by General Mills in the United States. The female image printed on the product packaging is Betty Crocker.
⑤The original meaning of "Loving" in English is "love".