Biquge www.xbiquge.bz, the fastest updated silent confession!
Until the funeral, Marilyn never imagined that she would have to say goodbye to her daughter like this. She once imagined a deathbed scene similar to that in the movie: she was old and gray-haired, lying on the satin sheets without any regrets, ready to bid farewell to the world; Lydia grew into a confident and steady mature woman, Holding her mother's hand, as a doctor, she has become accustomed to the great cycle of human life and death. Although Marilyn didn't want to admit it, the last person she wanted to see before she died was Lydia—not Nath or Hannah, or even James. Lydia had always been the first person she thought of and was thinking about all the time. child. And now, her chance to see Lydia for the last time was gone - James insisted that the coffin be covered at the funeral, which puzzled Marilyn. In the past three days, she had repeatedly asked James the same question, sometimes with anger, sometimes with tears in her eyes - why couldn't she see her daughter for the last time? James didn't know how to tell her the truth. When he went to claim Lydia's body, he found that only half of her face was left. Although the lake water was cold, it did not preserve it. The other half of her face had been eaten by something unknown. He could only ignore his wife's protests, forced himself to stare at the rearview mirror, and backed the car into the side street.
It only took fifteen minutes to walk from their home to the cemetery, but they drove anyway. When the car turned onto the road around the lake, Marilyn suddenly turned her head to the left, as if she had discovered something on her husband's coat. She didn't want to see the pier, the re-moored boat, or the lake stretching away. Although James closed the car windows tightly, he could still feel the breeze blowing from the lake through the leaves swaying on the shore and the ripples on the lake. It will always be there, in that lake; they will see it every time they go out. Nath and Hannah in the back seat were wondering at the same time whether their mother would tilt her head away from looking at the lake every time she passed it. The lake reflected the sun's rays like a tin roof, shaking Ness's eyes to tears. The sun was too bright and the sky was too blue. He was satisfied to see a cloud drifting in front of the sun, and the lake water immediately changed from silver to gray.
They pulled into the cemetery parking lot. The local "garden style" cemetery is quite proud of the Midwood people - they integrated the cemetery and the botanical garden, built winding paths, and erected small brass plaques with names and introductions in front of various plants. Ness remembers that when they were taking nature classes in junior high school, they came here for sketching and field trips. The teacher announced that the person who collected the most types of leaves would receive ten additional credits. There was also a funeral here that day. When the pastor read the eulogy, Tommy Reed tiptoed through the rows of folding chairs and came to the sassafras tree in the center of the ceremony. He picked a piece from a low-hanging branch. Leaves. Teacher Rexford didn't see how he picked the leaf, so he praised Tommy because he was the only one in the class who found the sassafras leaf. On the bus home, the whole class was snickering and cheering Tommy's success. And now, as they filed toward the row of folding chairs in the distance, Nath wanted to go back in time and punch Tommy Reed.
In order to mourn Lydia, the school was closed for one day, and many of Lydia's classmates came. Seeing this, James and Marilyn realized that they hadn't seen these girls in several years. Karen Adler's hair grew longer, Pam Sanders lost her braces, and James and Marilyn almost didn't recognize them. Thinking of the names he had crossed out on the list, James found that he was staring at them intently and quickly turned aside. The folding chairs were gradually filled with Nas's classmates, including seniors and freshmen. Some of them seemed familiar to him, but he didn't really know them. Even the neighbors filing in seemed like strangers. His parents never went out to socialize, never entertained guests, had no dinner parties, had no bridge buddies, hunting buddies, or luncheon buddies. Like Lydia, they have no real friends. Hannah and Nath saw that several professors from the university were also here. They were James' teaching assistants, but most of the people sitting on the folding chairs were unfamiliar faces. Why did they come? Nath thought. When the ceremony began and they all stretched their necks and looked at the coffins placed under the sassafras tree, he came to the answer: they were attracted by the sudden death. For the past week, ever since police drained the lake, the headlines in the Midwood Observer have been about Lydia. "The Oriental Girl Drowned in the "Pond"".
The pastor looked like President Ford, with straight eyebrows, white teeth, sharp outlines, and solid reliability. The Li family usually does not go to church for worship, but the funeral home still recommended a pastor to conduct the funeral, and James agreed without further questioning. Now, he was sitting upright, leaning his shoulder blades against the back of the chair, trying to listen to the eulogy attentively. The pastor recited Chapter 23 of the Bible Psalm, but it was adapted. Instead of the original sentence: "I will not be in want" was changed to "I have everything I need"; "Although I have walked through the shadow of death" "Through the valley of darkness" becomes "Though I walk through the valley of darkness." It sounds like cutting corners and lacking respect, and using this kind of eulogy is like burying his daughter in a plywood coffin. However, he then thought: "In such a small place, what else can you expect?" Marilyn sat on the right side of James, and the smell of lilies on the coffin floated into her head like a warm and moist mist. Nostrils, making her almost vomit. For the first time in her life, she was grateful that she had inherited her mother's habit of carrying a handkerchief with her so that she could hold it to her nose and use it as a filter, which would surely turn a dirty pink color when she took it off. , like old red bricks. Hannah sat next to her and played with her fingers. She wanted to put her hand secretly on her mother's knee, but she didn't dare. She didn't dare to look at the coffin, so she had to remind herself that Lydia was not in it and take a deep breath. It was only her body that was inside. But, in this case, where did Lydia go? Everyone was so quiet, she thought, that the birds circling in the sky must have thought they were a group of sculptures.
Out of the corner of his eye, Nath caught sight of Jack sitting on the edge of the crowd, leaning against his mother. He wanted to grab Jack by the collar and ask him what he knew. His father had called the police every night for the past week to ask if there were any new developments, but Officer Fisk's answer was always, "We're still investigating." If the police were there now, Nath thought, should he tell his father about Jack? Jack stared at the ground in front of his feet, as if he was too guilty to raise his head. When Ness turned around and looked forward, the coffin had already been placed in the tomb. The polished wood, the white lilies on the coffin lid—all disappeared, and the place where it once rested was empty. He missed everything. His sister is no more.
There was a wet feeling on his neck. He reached out to wipe it and found that his face was full of tears - he had been crying silently just now. On the other side of the crowd, Jack's blue eyes suddenly stared at Nath, who was wiping tears with the crook of his elbow.
The mourning crowd began to disperse, their backs lined up, moving toward the parking lot and the street. Several of Nath's classmates, such as Miles Fuller, cast sympathetic glances at him, but most of them felt embarrassed by Nath's tears and decided not to talk to him and turned away. They had no other chance to talk to Nath. In view of Ness's excellent grades and unfortunate current situation, the principal granted him a three-week leave of absence, and Ness himself did not plan to attend the graduation ceremony. Some neighbors surrounded the Li family, hugged their arms and said comforting words. Several of them patted Hannah on the head as if she were a baby or a puppy. But Janet Woolf did not walk over immediately. Today she changed from her usual doctor's white coat and wore a neat black suit. In fact, James and Marilyn did not recognize most of the neighbors who came today. So when Janet passed by, Marilyn felt that the other person's palms were covered with dust and the clothes were full of dirt, like a rag that had been taken by dirty hands. Even if Janet just touched her elbow, she couldn't bear it.
Jack stood far away on the other side of the cemetery, half-hidden in the shadow of an elm tree, waiting for his mother. Nath moved toward him, weaving around the crowds and plants, trapping Jack between his body and the trunk of the tree. Caught between her parents and a large group of adults, Hannah couldn't move and could only look nervously at her brother.
"What are you doing here?" Ness asked. As he got closer, he realized that Jack's shirt was dark blue, not black, and although his pants were formal, he was wearing his old black and white tennis shoes with holes in the front. .
"Hi," Jack said, staring at the ground, "Nas, how are you?"
"What do you think?" Nath shouted hoarsely, hating his own hoarse voice.
"I have to go," Jack said, "My mother is waiting for me." After a pause, he added, "I'm really sorry about your sister." After saying that, he turned around, but inside Si grabbed his arm.
"Really?" He had never arrested someone like this, but he felt that it was a tough guy style, like a detective in a movie. "You know, the police want to talk to you." At this time, people started to look this way. Look over here - James and Marilyn heard their son shouting and were looking for him. But Nath didn't care. He took a step forward and almost touched Jack's nose. "Look, that Monday, I knew she was with you."
Jack finally raised his head and looked directly into Nath's face, a flash of panic in his blue eyes. "Did she tell you?"
Nath leaned forward sharply, chest to chest with Jack, and he felt the veins in his right temple beating. "Do you still need her to tell me? Do you think I'm a fool?"
"Listen, Nath," Jack muttered, "if Lydia told you, I..."
He stopped suddenly because Nath's parents and Dr. Woolf were approaching and might overhear their conversation. Nath stumbled back, his eyes scanning between Jack, his father (who was waiting for him to come and pull him away), and the elm tree.
"Jack," Dr. Woolf snapped, "what's wrong?"
"It's okay," Jack glanced at Nath and then at the adults, "Mr. Li, Mrs. Li, my condolences."
"Thank you for coming," James said. He waited until the Woolfs walked out of the cemetery along the path before grabbing Nath's shoulders. "What's the matter with you?" he whispered, "at your sister's funeral." Get into a fight?"
At this time, Jack, who was walking behind his mother, quickly glanced back. When Nath's eyes met his, there was no doubt that Jack was scared. Then he turned off the path and walked away.
Nath yelled, "That bastard knows something about Lydia."
"You are not allowed to go out and cause trouble by yourself. Let the police investigate."
"James," Marilyn said, "stop yelling." She tapped her temples with her fingers, made a headache expression, and closed her eyes. Nath was shocked to find that a drop of dark black blood flowed from her face—no, not blood, but tears. The mascara dyed it black, forming a dirty gray trail on her cheek. Seeing this scene, Hannah's little heart was filled with sympathy for a moment. She reached for her mother's hand. Marilyn seemed completely ignorant. Hannah contentedly put her hand on the back of her mother's neck to express comfort.
James dug in his pocket for his keys. "I'll take your mother and sister home first. When you calm down, you can walk back." He regretted it as soon as he said the words. On this day, what he wanted to do most in his heart was to comfort Nath and press his hand. Hold his shoulders and hug him tightly. However, he had used all his strength to support himself and prevent himself from falling to the ground due to mental breakdown, so he had no time to care about his son. James turned around and grabbed Hannah's arm. At least Hannah was an obedient child.
Nath stood under the elm tree, watching his parents walk toward the car. Hannah glanced back and followed. His father had no idea what Jack was like. Jack's family has lived down the street for eleven years. Ever since he entered the first grade with Nath, in the eyes of Nath's parents, Jack is just an ordinary boy next door, a bit slovenly, with a dog and a lot of fun. A used car. At school, however, everyone knew Jack, who had a different girlfriend every few weeks. Every girl's experience is similar. Jack never went on dates, never went out to eat with girls, never gave flowers, never gave chocolates wrapped in cellophane. He would just drive the girl to the Point, a theater or some parking lot, and then sleep in the back seat of his car. A blanket. After a week or two, he stopped calling the girl and went looking for the next target. He was known for his prowess in defiling virgins. At school, girls were proud to be played by Jack, as if sleeping with him was equivalent to joining an aristocratic club. They would often gather near the lockers, giggle and whisper about Jack's affairs. Jack himself didn't talk to anyone. Everyone knows that he usually lives alone. His mother works night shift in the hospital six days a week. He does not eat in the school cafeteria or go dancing. During class, he usually sat in the last row and secretly picked the next girl to take out for a ride. This spring, he selected Lydia.
Nath stayed in the cemetery for an hour, two hours, three hours, watching workers stack folding chairs together, put away various bouquets, and clear paper balls and paper towels from the grass. He went over in his mind everything he knew about Jack—every fact and every rumor, until the line between the two began to blur. By the time he was ready to go home, a terrifying rage was already boiling in his body. He both wished and dared not imagine Lydia and Jack together. Did Jack hurt her? Nath doesn't know, he only knows that Jack is the crux of the problem, and he vows to find out the truth. It wasn't until several gravediggers picked up shovels and walked towards the unfilled grave that he moved his feet with difficulty and turned around to leave.
He walked along the lake to the street corner and found a police car parked outside Jack's house. "It's about damn time," Nath thought. He crept closer to the house and hid under the window. The front door was open, and he tiptoed up the porch steps, clinging to the edge of the damaged siding to keep it from creaking. They were talking about my sister, he told himself, and I had every right to know what the conversation was about. He leaned against the screen door and could only see the hallway inside, but he could hear Jack's slow and loud defensive voice in the living room. The police didn't seem to believe him at first.
"She took a physics class early and her mom wanted her to take it with her 11th graders."
"You're taking that class too, aren't you in the graduating class?"
"I told you," Jack said impatiently, "I am retaking the exam and I failed."