The office was very quiet, only Lu Xin's softly speaking voice.
He slowed down his tone as much as possible and described it accurately, but he was still not sure whether Teacher Xiaolu understood.
On the face of Teacher Xiaolu, there is a look of trying to understand, but also confused.
It was very difficult for her to understand, but Lu Xin was not surprised. He could see that Mr. Xiaolu was still waiting for him so late. First, he was worried about whether he could come back safely after going out with No. 8. It was also because she seemed to I want to have a good chat with myself.
Lu Xin didn't plan to lie to Teacher Xiaolu, so he told his feelings as accurately as possible.
But looking at her expression, I guessed that she couldn't understand.
"I… "
Teacher Xiaolu seemed to be entangled for a moment, but she raised her head slightly and said, "I don't seem to understand this feeling."
When she said this, a disappointed expression appeared on her face.
Disappointment to myself, mixed with deep self-blame and discouragement.
But Lu Xin listened to her words, and after a moment of silence, a gentle smile appeared on his face, and said, "It's okay."
"It's a feeling that very few people understand."
As he spoke, there was a bit of seriousness in his eyes, and said, "You don't understand, it's good, this is a kind of luck."
Teacher Xiaolu saw Lu Xin's smile and could feel the sincere comfort in his words.
However, her mood did not improve at all because of this comfort. She slowly lowered her head and tangled her fingers together. It seemed that she was tired and depressed, and she was not as optimistic as before. Lively, Lu Xin looked at her current appearance and suddenly thought, could it be that the optimism and liveliness of the former teacher Xiaolu in front of him was also a performance
Because I didn't know it before, I couldn't see it.
I understand now, so I noticed
What is this
Two people who try their best to perform to each other whenever they meet each other
…
When Lu Xin was thinking about these strange questions, Mr. Xiaolu seemed to have thought deeply, slowly raised his head to look at Lu Xin, made a slight gesture, and said, "Then, what you said is better now, then Again, what does it feel like?"
Lu Xin still didn't want to lie in front of Mr. Xiaolu.
He thought about it seriously, the fingers of his left hand were gently squeezed together, and then the fingers of his right hand were also squeezed together.
The two hands seemed to be holding a line, gently pulling in the air, slowly approaching.
"It's like two lines with different wavelengths, you can see each other, but you can't understand, this line is the world, this line is me, and it seems that I will never be able to fit in with this world, because the wavelengths are different , Even if I please it again, it is useless, but gradually, my wavelength is changing, the world is also changing, it begins to like me... "
"… "
Teacher Xiaolu tried her best to understand, and said anxiously, "Will it really be integrated?"
Seeing the anxiety, concern, and genuine joy in Teacher Xiaolu's eyes, Lu Xin stopped.
He knew that if he said yes, Mr. Xiaolu would believe it.
However, he was reluctant to lie.
So after being silent for a while, he put down his palm and said softly, "I hope I can."
"But I don't know."
"Because this part is something I can't control in my own hands."
"… "
The joy on Teacher Xiaolu's face was stunned, and her expression was slightly stiff.
"so… "
She was silent for a long time before she looked up at Lu Xin and said, "You're still not the same you before?"
Lu Xin was asked this question, and he was silent for a long time.
In fact, I can feel that my current self is not the same as before, but this is different from what Teacher Xiaolu thinks.
Zero Point Reading Network
The self in her impression was only when she was in the orphanage and could not feel herself in this world, but she regarded herself at that time as a gentle and kind person, she remembered the way she gave her chocolate, but I don't know that I was looking at her curiously behind her back then, thinking about why this girl is so weak, but she is so strong...
Think about why she can run so fast.
I'm also thinking, if she doesn't run away, does she still have the courage to provoke those little monsters...
Her misunderstanding of herself, from the orphanage to the present.
It's a pity that the self in her mind has always been false...
She is changing in a good direction, but she thinks she is getting further and further away from before...
The human mind is an interesting thing.
But for the question she asked...
Lu Xin was silent for a long time, and also thought of many questions, including his recent experience, and No. 8.
Then he slowly replied, "I've always been me."
"It's just that my perception of my surroundings is different, so the choices I make are also different."
"But I'm still me, that hasn't changed."
"… "
Teacher Xiaolu raised her head abruptly, her expression was clearly confused, puzzled, and fearful.
Maybe what she wanted to hear was that it wasn't herself who had done something before
Lu Xin can clearly understand what Teacher Xiaolu wants to hear at this time, but he still doesn't want to lie, so he can only say slowly: "I don't know what I look like in the eyes of others, but in my feelings , I haven't changed, whether it's me when I was about to escape... or later... I've always been the same me, but I reacted differently..."
"Maybe Eight is right, some things have changed, but some things will never be..."
"… "
Teacher Xiaolu was silent.
She seemed to be anxious, worried, and a little unwilling.
She tried her best to look up at Lu Xin, but because of Lu Xin's silence, she panicked and didn't know what to say.
What to say
Lu Xin fell into a deep tangle.
Maybe Number 8 was right, he should have studied hard at that time, otherwise he wouldn't be able to express this feeling.
oneself is still oneself.
So, how to tell Mr. Xiaolu that he has changed while admitting this
Maybe you can push the problem to your old self.
At that time, I was ignorant, too impulsive, too extreme, too angry and so on.
However, the last thing a person should do is to be too harsh on the former self, who has already worked very hard.
Compared with the previous self, the current self only has more experience.
"It's not too early now, you should rest early."
Thinking about this question, Lu Xin stood up slowly, the expression on his face was firm and unrepentant.
Teacher Xiang Xiaolu smiled and said, "I will come to see you in two days."
"… "
Teacher Xiaolu looked up at Lu Xin, and after a long time, she could only nod her head.
Lu Xin helped her bring the cup in her hand, poured out the tea leaves inside, and poured another cup of hot water for her, then picked up the garbage bag next to the table, and walked out of the door gently. During the whole process, Teacher Xiaolu was silent and wanted to speak, but her hands were shaking. Her emotions were like boiling water, and she could not stay stable for a moment, disturbing her thinking.
When the sound of his leaving footsteps disappeared in the corridor, Mr. Xiaolu slowly turned around and pushed the wheelchair to the window.
She saw Lu Xin's figure, walking through the courtyard of the villa, her heart seemed to twitch violently suddenly...
She whispered in an inaudible voice: "Actually, I just want to help you..."
…
…
In the yard, Lu Xin walked out of the elementary school, threw away the garbage, and then got into the jeep and sighed softly.
In fact, it can be seen that Teacher Xiaolu has a strong urge to do something for him.
However, she has actually helped herself.
For a long time, I was not really completely unable to integrate into this world.
When I was in Red Moon Elementary School, I would have that real feeling, and only when I was here...
It's just, I don't know if it's too urgent, or something else, but now I obviously feel better.
But when I was in Red Moon Elementary School, my previous feeling became less and less. Just like today's conversation, I understood that Teacher Xiaolu was actually trying to comfort and help me, but in fact, this kind of conversation made me not feel it. Comfortable…
The lingering shadow has always drowned the heart in it.
"Ugh… "
A faint sense of exhaustion welled up in his heart, Lu Xin slowly started the car and drove forward slowly.
But after walking a short distance, the headlights suddenly illuminated a figure sitting on the railing of the road ahead. She was wearing a beautiful black dress, holding a plastic bag in her hand. When she saw Lu Xin's car coming, her face A happy smile appeared.
is a doll.
Why is she still here
Lu Xin was slightly surprised and stopped the car, opened the door and walked out.
Seeing him get out of the car, the doll's expression became even happier, she stood up lightly, and raised the plastic bag in her hand.
Inside is a small red ball.
Seeing her happy look, Lu Xin suddenly understood that she was here waiting for her to have dinner.
…
…
Can't tell how it feels at this moment.
Lu Xin took off from Tinder City. Except for refueling on the ground, he hardly stopped halfway. He only ate a little something on the plane. When he saw No. 8, although he invited him to have a meal, he only had two drinks because of something in his heart. It was just a glass of beer, and I hardly ate anything, and this meal, now counted, was already eight hours ago, so the current self…
… really hungry.
He smiled and beckoned, let the baby sit in the co-pilot of the jeep, then took her to a nearby square and stopped, the two of them sat on the bench next to the square, and then took the baby's hand The plastic bag he was holding on to.
This is really good stuff...
Lu Xin thought, at that time, a clockwork orange said that this is a very expensive ingredient.
As he thought about it, he opened the plastic bag, stunned slightly, and blocked the doll's outstretched hand.
In the doll's puzzled eyes, Lu Xin re-tied the plastic bag and threw it into the trash can next to it.
stinks.
It seems that it has been a long time since I started packing to the present...
But what should I eat...
Looking at the pitiful eyes of the doll next to her, Lu Xin couldn't help but think, wouldn't she have been waiting for her
Could it be that she hasn't eaten for eight hours too
Just when I was feeling embarrassed, footsteps sounded not far away, and I saw a tall, heroic woman in uniform walking out from the shadow beside the square. Her figure was very oppressive, and when she looked at Lu Xin's eyes, she was also very oppressive. She quickly came to Lu Xin and the doll, and then put the two bentos in Lu Xin's arms, turned around and left. .
Before leaving, he glared at Lu Xin.
"This… "
Lu Xin stared blankly at the woman leaving, stunned for a moment, and then opened the lunch box.
I saw that inside a bento, there were very delicate sandwich biscuits with beautiful patterns.
The other bento was scrambled eggs, but it still had eggs.
Lu Xin's mood suddenly improved, and there was something to eat late at night.
…
…
In the gap between the forest-like buildings in the distance, you can see the red moon hanging low in the western sky. The surrounding street lights are dim, and the shadows of the two people on the bench are drawn extremely long and merged together, making it difficult to distinguish them clearly.
The two people sitting on the bench didn't speak, they just ate their meals in silence. Occasionally, there would be a crackling sound of cracking biscuits, and the "sucking" sound of eating fried noodles.
After a long, long time, Lu Xin suddenly said, "Do you know me?"
With half a biscuit in her mouth, the doll pondered for a while, and then shook her head without any respect.
Lu Xin smiled happily: This feeling is too relaxing.