Felix returned to her room, washed up briefly and then lay down on the bed. Because the temperature in the room was very comfortable, she only wore a loose shirt on her upper body and only underwear on her lower body.
She turned sideways and hugged the fat Lala pillow, burying her face in the soft doll.
It was not surprising at all that Freya behaved like this after she recovered her memory. What really surprised Felix was that even the cold and calm Shifrin accepted the fact that she liked Ash after she recovered her memory.
It seemed like she was the only one who was different.
Whether it was sending Ash several daring selfies every day starting from the Senluo Kingdom, or using the excuse of putting on makeup to secretly get intimate with Ash a few days ago... Even though he kept making excuses to deceive himself at the time, but now re-examining this memory, Felix also realized that he really liked Ash.
But now she doesn't want to continue liking Ash.
How could she like such a person
Not to mention that she was unwilling and dared not share pets with Sword Princess and the others, even if she was willing to join in, she could not accept this chaotic mode of getting along. She watched the developer conferences up close several times, and on the wedding night, she caught a glimpse of the cream flowing out of the puffs... Just thinking about being in the middle of it made her feel ashamed and hot all over.
She would not lie there and watch Ash messing around with other people!
Just as Freya said, everyone has different standards, and no matter how she breaks her own bottom line, her standards remain unchanged: it must be pure love between two people, anything else is heresy.
It was quite ridiculous when she thought about it. A legendary magician who was stronger than her, a demigod magician who was far superior to her (and now he was a six-winged god), could accept this form of emotion. But she, a mere sanctuary magician, was so pretentious. It was simply a bit ungrateful... But she was really scared.
She was afraid that she would be ignored and abandoned in a corner, and that her deep love would only move herself in the end;
She is also afraid that she will be ignored and rejected by others, and fall into a whirlpool of emotional intrigue;
If she was the only one who was wronged, it would be fine, but what if they had a child in the future? Not everything can be solved by miracles. Some things are unfair, just like the supreme share is limited in total. If you have more, I will have less. The more people share, the less... The same is true for love.
Sometimes Felix really envied Freya and the others who were love-brained and could love without any scruples and without considering the consequences. But she couldn't do that. Every time she thought about the future and her children, she thought about how pitiful it would be for a wife and children who couldn't get complete love... She herself was born as a bastard, and she knew what it felt like.
She and Di Mi, her mother and Mrs. Beverly, and even her father... everyone was suffering because of this unblessed relationship, unable to get what they wanted.
How could she make the same mistake again
Amnesia is the best escape window for her, but recovering her memory now does not mean she will fall into the abyss again. Unlike other people who accept their past completely, she can detach herself, examine these memories from a third-person perspective, and correct these wrong feelings with the right values, as if God has mercy on her wrong love and has given her a thread of silk to let her have a chance to escape from the purgatory of despair.
Deny what Ash did,
Deny what you did.
Deny all wrong feelings,
This is obviously very simple for her. As long as she thinks more about the tears of Sword Lady, the loneliness of the Witch, the coldness of Silver Lamp, and the grievance of Vichy, she can deny their feelings and her own feelings from the bottom of her heart. But why...
"Why..." Felix hugged the doll tightly, his tears soaking the plush on it: "Why do I still want to see him..."
In the Xingqiao Hall, facing the pressure from the ancestor Sword Law Angel, he protected himself and refused to let go...
In the Senluo Kingdom, after seriously discussing the various issues concerning the harem with him, he was so broken that he really wanted to repent and stay away from Jian Ji and the others...
In the Blood Moon Kingdom, before the wedding drama, he saw how lonely she was, and he told her to close her eyes, satisfying her self-deceiving thoughts, and for the first time he took the initiative to kiss her forehead...
Felix opened the light screen and pulled up the photo album, turning to the group photo of the four brides. She rubbed her eyes and saw that Ash, who had disappeared from the group photo, was back in the photo. He stood behind the bride, his gentle eyes full of love. The four brides looked at the parade outside, and their faces, some glamorous, some holy, some cute, and some charming, were all smiling from the bottom of their hearts.
During this long journey, she had indeed seen the sad and aggrieved expressions of Jian Ji and the others, but she had also seen more... the beauty of their laughter and touching moments.
She looked at the photo and was stunned for a moment. Her tears fell on the doll and she whispered in grievance, "Why am I the only one who feels so uncomfortable when my memory is restored..."
"Because you are both excited and afraid."
Felix jumped up from the bed in fright, turned around and saw Deda Rose sitting next to him, sniffed hard and stammered, "Come, Miss Lena!? When did you come?"
"I've been here since you got out of the shower, but you didn't notice me the whole time, twisting around on the bed with your doll." Deda Rose said calmly, "I came to discuss our next plan with you."
"Okay!" Felix said immediately, rubbing his eyes and trying to pretend that nothing happened: "What should we do next?"
"I plan to work hard to become Ash's angel. It would be best if he leads me to heaven. The second best is for me to become a demigod and then join them." Deda Rose said, "There is no news from the Four Pillar Gods, and Ash is preparing to challenge the Supreme Throne. I want to follow him and witness him burning the world like this."
"Oh, then we—"
"There is no us, only me." Deda Rose shook her head: "I never asked you to act with me. It's not that I dislike you, but if you don't want to continue following Ash, you can leave at any time. Isn't it hard for you to remember that you like Ash?"
Felix was dumbfounded, his face flushed to his ears, and he looked away, not daring to look at Deda Rose: "I didn't... I just..."
"Evasion, denial, entanglement, pain, the way you show your love for someone is exactly the same as Sister Yin Lina's." Deda Rose's face showed a look of reminiscence: "When she liked that guy, her state was exactly the same as yours now."
Felix was startled and asked, "Aren't mom and dad in love?"
"That guy had been engaged since he was a child, and then he met Sister Yin Lina. Do you think Yin Lina would easily accept that she would only be the third party?" Deda Rose smiled and said, "She also struggled for a long time."
"Since Mom was in so much pain, why did they stay together in the end? Why did they give birth to me?" Felix couldn't help but say, "If they had separated earlier, if I wasn't there, maybe Mom wouldn't—"
"The first time I saw you was also the first time I saw that guy with Yin Lina. I still remember that the sun was shining brightly that day, with warm golden sunlight shining on the hospital bed. Yin Lina held you in her arms, and she and that guy looked at you tenderly... I pretended not to know you and touched your little head." Deda Rose came over and sat by the bed, raised her hand and touched Felix's head, as if she had traveled back to that day twenty years ago. "The guy behind did let Yin Lina down, but you are not a child without blessings... You are indeed the fruit of their love and their best wishes for the future."
"At least before he took over as Duke, that guy really tried hard." Deda Rose said softly, "But before his feelings could deteriorate, he accepted the blessing of the stars and left when Sister Yin Lina needed him the most. Even if Yin Lina wanted to hate him, she couldn't."
Felix was stunned, and suddenly connected many things together, muttering: "That's why Miss Laina is pushing forward the Sky-Smashing Plan at all costs..."
Deda Rose wiped the tears from Felix's eyes with her thumb and said, "I told this story not to influence you or push you, but I just don't want you to misunderstand Yin Lina. No matter what decision Yin Lina makes, it has nothing to do with you. You are the only one responsible for your life."
"But the reason you and Yin Lina are struggling is the same, that is, you are afraid of the worst possibility, but you are willing to believe in the person you love. No matter how many reasons and difficulties there are, you still think... he will create a miracle."
Deda Rose stood up and glanced at her: "Yin Lina trusted the wrong person, do you think you have better vision?"
After Deda Rose left the room, Felix stared blankly at the starry sky outside.
After a while, she took out her star diamond necklace, held it in her hand, and prayed for peace to her mother who had turned into a star.
Avoid suffering or pursue happiness
What should I do? What is the correct answer to my life
At this moment, Felix felt a faint light in her palm. She loosened her hand and saw the star diamond necklace turned into a cocoon. The starlight outside was injected into the cocoon, forming the stars in her palm.
With the sound of breaking the shell, four starlight wings broke through the cocoon, and a graceful and shining magic spirit broke out of the cocoon and stayed in the palm of Felix.
Four-winged magic spirit: Mind Star.
A four-winged spirit summoned by itself, a door of truth leading to Ruby Mountain.
Felix stared at the magic spirit in a daze, and after a long time he held it tightly in his palm.
I see.
It is better to believe in yourself than to believe in others. If you are confused or entangled, then take a big step forward. Don't let your emotions hold you back. Try your best to reach farther places and see more scenery. There are countless beautiful things in life waiting to be explored.
Only hard work will not be in vain, and only hope should not be extinguished.
She heaved a sigh of relief and lay limply on the bed. Fate had given her a perfect and correct answer. She no longer had any hesitations. She only had to follow this path to the end. Everything had been arranged long ago.
Thank fate, thank the stars.
Without further ado, Felix immediately activated the Gate of Truth of the Astrology Spirit, and established a connection between his consciousness and the distant virtual world.
After a brief moment of unconsciousness, when she opened her eyes again, she had arrived at a huge ruby mountain.
The magician's holy land, Ruby Mountain!
From today on, she is a legendary magician!
Instead of chasing after the genius female magicians, it is better to become a genius female magician herself. This is the answer given to her by fate! What Ash, what love, are all -
"Little Fili?"
Felix turned his head suddenly and saw four female sorcerers behind him, three of whom were familiar faces - Veela Freya, Blood Saint Sifrin, and Witch Annan.
The other one was holding a heavy weapon like a shield and axe, but she was wearing a tank top with translucent sleeves, and a transparent short skirt over her sports shorts. Felix guessed who it was without asking: Black Crow Tamashi!
"It's really little Fili!"
Freya seemed to have forgotten that she had just been pissed off by him and cried. She rushed over to hug Felix and said happily, "You're joining our team too!? That's great. Let's go on an adventure together in Ruby Mountain!"
Felix knew from the diary that they could form a team, but they themselves didn't know the principle of team formation, so she never had any extravagant hopes. She didn't expect that she would have such luck: "Is it really possible?"
"Of course you can. In fact, even if you don't want to, you will team up with us next time you enter the virtual world." Shivlin looked at her with a subtle look: "You are teleported directly to the vicinity of our team. Anyone who appears in this way will be bound to us."
Go on an adventure with this group of talented female magicians? Felix's heart was pounding, it was like a sleepy man finding a pillow, a hungry man finding a fat man, "Of course I am willing!"
"Great, we finally have five of us!" Veela cheered, "One more than the Queen's group!"
"Queen's Group?" Felix blinked.
"Jian Ji and the others are the Queen's Group, and we are the Princess' Group. This is the name Freya gave us." An Nan said in a strange tone, "In fact, we had two more cruel and direct names for this group before..."
"That's in the past!" Freya said, her hands on her hips. "Since the bath, there is no longer a winner or loser, only a difference between the queen and the princess!"
"Hello, I'm Black Crow Tamashi." Tamashi greeted shyly.
"Hello, I'm... Duchess Felix?" Felix was unsure of her code name for a moment, so she made one up.
Although the name of Queen and Princess made her feel strange, it was just a title and she was just following them on an adventure anyway.
"Now there are five of us, so we will definitely be able to defeat the Queen's Group next time, right?" Tamashi asked.
Freya was full of fighting spirit: "Of course, how can the four of them defeat five people!"
Felix was a little scared when he heard this: "Everyone, Jian Ji and the others are now six-winged masters. Even if we are legendary magicians, I'm afraid we won't be able to do it in a short time—"
"What are you afraid of? The war of love has nothing to do with strength." Freya waved her hand and said, "Sincere feelings are the decisive factor. Love can melt everything!"
Miss Vosiloda was startled: "What love war?"
"It's a war for Ash." Freya hugged Felix's arm, looking innocent as if she was playing house. "Now we have one more person than them, and it's just a matter of time before we can get Ash to our side!"
"Ah?" Felix was shocked and shook his head quickly: "I won't participate!"
"Why? Five is greater than four. We have a great chance of winning. We can redistribute the profits when we win!"
"Because I, I," Felix stammered, "I don't like Ash! Why should I fight for him?"
Everyone looked at each other, and Freya said to Shivlin, "It turns out that little Fili is just like you, a tsundere."
"I'm not a tsundere!" Shiffrin and Felix retorted in unison.
"There's no one else here, so you don't have to hide it." An Nan said, "It seems that there is only one requirement for joining this team, and that is to have a love for Ash."
"But I really didn't!" Felix was going crazy: "What I hate most is a scumbag like Ash who crawled out of a trash can. He is shameless and unrepentant. He has to make everyone wronged and sad to satisfy his own selfish desires. I won't-"
"Don't say bad things about Ash!" Tamashi frowned and took a step forward with murderous intent: "Otherwise, don't blame me for being rude."
"Oh, Tamashi, you don't understand this," Freya stopped Tamashi and explained seriously, "The so-called tsundere means that no matter how much you like someone in your heart, you have to show an extremely disgusted attitude on the surface—"
Before Felix could make a move, Shiffrin hugged her first, and the latter had an expression of "Look, it's your turn now", which made Felix look depressed.
"Okay, let's assume that you really don't like Ash." An Nan said, "But we will hold developer conferences with Ash regularly."
Felix was stunned: "What is going on?"
"○○ party."
"He's not in Ruby Hill—"
"The Fifth Pillar Goddess, the Magnificent Princess of Firefly, will pull us into the space of remembrance," Shivlin said. "Last time it was a bathing scene, and I don't know what it will be next time."
"Don't be nervous. You don't have to participate. Ash won't force you anyway." An Nan said, but before Felix could breathe a sigh of relief, she continued, "You just need to watch from the side."
Watching from the side...
Watching...
Thinking of the stunning glimpse on the wedding night, Felix's face felt as if it was burning and he felt like steam was coming out of his head.
"Eh?" Freya's IQ suddenly returned to a high point: "You have been following Ash for half a year, and you still haven't...?"
"No!" Felix explained hurriedly: "I said I hate him-"
"You're lying. You're always sticking to Ash. You must have made mistakes."
"I think so too. I saw her and Ash inseparable during the Gospel. Even if they didn't have sex, they must have had sex."
"A few days ago I saw her coming out of Ash's room with a happy face..."
"The most I did was kiss Ash!" Felix loudly defended his reputation, "Beyond that, we really didn't go any further!"
The air of Ruby Mountain fell silent for a moment. The sorceresses blinked and stared at her. Felix opened her mouth but couldn't say anything. Her face was so hot that she couldn't think anymore. She turned around and wanted to run, but Freya rushed over and hugged her, congratulating her happily, "Welcome to join the Princess Group!"
The stars have harmed me, I'll just have to pray to the Four Pillars of Deity next time, Felix thought.
PS: I will write my final remarks tomorrow, vote for the monthly ticket, and save the day!