Song Yan stopped.
His whole body was stiff, and even the knuckles of his fingers holding the cane began to turn white.
He closed his eyes, wishing to tell the other party with his back - I refused.
Ridiculous? It's not absurd, it's a sense of powerlessness with no solution to fate. So much so that in this pale and cold world, my heart was even more frozen.
Yan Zhuo let out a breath, the confession made him use up all his strength, he would calm down, let go of his tightly clenched fists, and then he slumped suddenly, and there was no reason to feel sad from it.
What will Song Yan think of me
Incredible? Can't imagine
Then he...
Will you think I'm a pervert
Will you feel sick
The panic had disrupted all the words he wanted to say to Song Yan, and he didn't even dare to think about it.
Song Yan didn't turn his head back, and turned his back to Yan Zhuo, Yan Zhuo couldn't see his expression, and couldn't get a glimpse, even a trace, of his thoughts.
After a while, Song Yan spoke slowly, his tone was calm and his voice was cold.
"Are you a fan or gay?"
Yan Zhuo's face turned pale instantly, and just as he was about to speak, Song Yan said cruelly: "No matter what you are, don't bring it to me."
Yan Zhuo was stunned with his mouth open like this, then his nose became sour, and water vapor gradually appeared in his eyes.
He slowly moved behind Song Yan, grabbed the corner of his clothes and said with difficulty: "No...it's not like this..."
It's a pity that Song Yan didn't want to listen to him anymore, Yan Zhuo's sudden confession had a great impact on him, and he couldn't digest it temporarily.
"Actually, you should know already, right?" Yan Zhuo said suddenly.
His feelings are equal to his actions, he is always close to Song Yan unconsciously, wishing to do many things for him. He didn't believe it, Song Yan didn't feel it at all.
It's a pity that Song Yan didn't answer him, but lifted his foot and completely walked out of his sight.
It was a brutally good night.
Every step of Song Yan's departure is like a lingering gesture towards Yan Zhuo.
He froze in place, until his clenched fists were so cold that his knuckles turned white, and the snow on his eyelashes melted into water and fell to the end of his eyes, did he have a slight reaction, and then hung his head powerlessly.
Is there anything colder than snow
The only thing colder than snow is his heart at this moment.
Yan Zhuo didn’t remember how he got upstairs or how he got back to the dormitory. Song Yan’s last two words kept resounding in his mind, lingering in his ears like a spell, and he couldn’t even wave them vigorously. scattered.
He moved a stool and sat indifferently by the window, looking out through the glass with calm eyes, cool air seeped in through the window crack, and entered his lungs.
It's ridiculous to say that when he first met Song Yan, he didn't like him very much, so he never thought that after a long time, he would have a flood of liking for Song Yan.
The boundless darkness was like a protective umbrella and a tear gas bomb. When he was thinking wildly, his heart crinkled tightly.
In the morning, the snow stopped.
The sun shines on the white earth.
From night to day, Yan Zhuo sat by the window all night and thought about it all night, the feeling in it is really indescribable.
Not daring to think any more, Yan Zhuo shook his confused head, went to the bathroom to take a shower, and then went to work.
Today was the same as any other day, he was doing boring and repetitive work. But it was different from any other day. Since this morning, he has been avoiding Song Yan.
It wasn't until he went to find Gao Hongming for something that he accidentally saw Song Yan in Gao Hongming's office.
Through the window, Yan Zhuo couldn't hear what they were talking about, and could only look at the back of Song Yan's head through the glass. He bit his lower lip and looked at Song Yan almost greedily.
What happened last night didn't seem to have any impact on Song Yan, at least judging from his expression, he was still so deserted, as if he didn't care about everything. Probably really realized that he had become a voyeur, Yan Zhuo was about to leave, but Gao Hongming caught him with a sharp eye.
"Yan Zhuo!" Gao Hongming suddenly waved and shouted from inside, his voice piercing through the wall.
"..."
I'm really afraid of something.
Yan Zhuo lowered his head, and almost pushed open the door with the mood of going to the execution ground.
"Hello, Director Gao." After standing still, he obediently called out, but he didn't dare to glance at Song Yan beside him.
Both of them were there, but they only greeted one person. Gao Hongming couldn't help being surprised, he reprimanded: "Mr. Song is here too, I don't know how to say hello, it's impolite!" He then explained to Song Yan: "It's almost Chinese New Year and the courtyard is busy, I guess the child is tired from work gone."
"It's okay." Song Yan said lightly.
Gao Hongming winked his eyes at Yan Zhuo, Yan Zhuo understood, just like a child who was pressured by the elders to say hello to relatives when he was a child.
He said in a muffled voice, "Mr. Song..."
Song Yan nodded, and he said to Gao Hongming: "You talk, I'll go first."
Yan Zhuo just came and he wanted to leave, he didn't want to be in the same frame, but Gao Hongming was blind, so he stopped Song Yan and asked, "How is Yan Zhuo? He stays here every New Year's Eve and doesn't go home."
Song Yan refused: "No need."
Yan Zhuo didn't know what they were discussing, but Song Yan's tone of rejection made him feel very uncomfortable. He knew that he shouldn't ask too many questions, and it was the best choice to show off immediately. But for so many days, he has been taking care of Song Yan's business, so he asked directly without thinking too much: "What's the matter?"
Song Yan refused, Gao Hongming couldn't say more, he shook his head at Yan Zhuo: "No, nothing."
Strange to say, the whole nursing home knew that the two people in front of them had a good relationship, especially Yan Zhuo, who was always clinging to Song Yan, and it was a surprise to warm Song Yan, the cold-faced king. They also often teased Yan Zhuo in private, calling him "King of Roasted Cold Noodles".
And now... Although I don't know what happened in the middle, the relationship between the two has become strange to the naked eye.
Gao Hongming speculated a little in his heart, maybe Song Yan's temper is too bad, and Yan Zhuo finally lost his patience.
This idea is not unreasonable. Everyone saw what Song Yan was like when he first came to the nursing home.
The tip of his heart was densely filled with sourness, Yan Zhuo quietly withdrew his spying gaze, thinking: Do you just hate me so much
He forced a smile and said, "Okay, I see. I am honored to be able to take care of Mr. Song during this time."
At first hearing this sentence without beginning or end, Song Yan frowned almost invisibly.
bid farewell.
This sentence is very much like a farewell.
Not daring to wait any longer, Yan Zhuo hastily said goodbye to them. After quickly passing through the corner of the corridor, he leaned against the wall lonely.
Forget it, so be it.
Not everything goes the way you want, not everything goes the way you want.
The consequence of impulsiveness is that you don't even have to be friends. He should have thought of it earlier.
Who is to blame, no one is to blame.
He's right that he likes Song Yan, and it's also right that Song Yan doesn't like him.
Speaking of which, he is not promising, he has never liked anyone since he grew up so much that he would be reluctant to take a second look.
Chest tightness, breathless.
After get off work, Yan Zhuo secretly bought a bunch of draft beer and went back to the dormitory to drink.
He loathed alcohol, but he had to want to rely on it tonight.
It has to be said that after two cups, the depression that had been simmering in his heart finally dissipated.
Otherwise, the ancients said: Du Kang is the only one who can relieve worries.
This statement is not false.
Yan Zhuo seldom drank, and he had no concept of his drinking capacity, so he just poured it into his mouth. After a while, I feel dizzy and dizzy.
"Am I drunk," he said to himself, "that's nice."
very nice.
When you are drunk, you can stop worrying for a while, and when you are drunk, you can do whatever you want. Drunk... Can I see the person I like in my dream, and then have a dream that the other person also likes me.
Maybe people can really have infinite courage when they are drunk.
In a daze, it seemed that he really staggered to the door of 108.
Huh? 108
This dream was so real, Yan Zhuo smiled, then stretched out his sinful hand, and knocked on the door loudly.
After a while, Song Yan's face appeared in front of him.
There was still a knock on the door at this point, and there was no one else except Yan Zhuo. Out of reason, Song Yan didn't want to open the door, but in the end he sighed and resigned to his fate to open the door. As a result, as soon as he opened the slit, he smelled a soaring smell of wine.
As soon as the door opened, Yan Zhuo rushed forward, Song Yan was unprepared and was hit in the arms.
It's terrible. he thinks.
"What are you doing?" Song Yan said coldly, "Drink too much and run away like me?"
There is no reason to talk to a drunk person. Yan Zhuo didn't know what he was going to say at all, he could only see his mouth opening and closing.
I really want to kiss. Yan Zhuo thought, but no, not even in a dream, he must respect Song Yan.
"I will control myself." Yan Zhuo muttered.
Song Yan frowned: "Control what?"
It's too much to control.
I can't disturb you, I can't bother you, I can't kiss you, I can't hug you.
Yan Zhuo was suddenly buried by a great sadness, and said in a crying voice: "I, I hate drinking people the most, the smell is bad and the posture is ugly." He stared at Song Yan for a while, and then said wronged: "But now I have become the person I hate the most."
"..." Yan Zhuo spoke clearly. If it wasn't for the strong smell of alcohol, Song Yan would almost suspect that he was pretending to be drunk.
A certain drunkard didn't have the slightest intention to leave, and he held out his hand politely.
"I'll just touch it lightly." The drunkard whispered.
As a result, as soon as Yan Zhuo touched Song Yan's face, Song Yan grabbed his hand and took it away.
Song Yan sighed softly, helped Yan Zhuo onto the bed, and let him lie down.
To be honest, he really wanted to ask someone to send Yan Zhuo away. But for some reason, he couldn't do it.
In case Yan Zhuo yelled and yelled endlessly during the delivery, don't even think about it, everyone will know that Yan Zhuo likes him within two days.
Song Yan didn't want this.
Song Yan's bed is very comfortable, his smell is all over the pillow. Yan Zhuo sat up abruptly, wrapping his hands around Song Yan's neck, hugging him tightly and not letting go.
Song Yan was almost suffocated by him, grabbed his hand and gritted his teeth: "Release."
"No! No!"He said, "Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo... why don't you like me? I'm not good. Because I'm not a girl, I don't have a chest or a butt, right? Whoo, whoo, whoo..."He burps, "Even if you don't like me, you can't hate me. You hate me...Where am I going to get away from you? I have nowhere to go..."
He babbled a lot, and the smell of alcohol penetrated into Song Yan's nostrils as he spoke, which was disturbing.
Yan Zhuo's lacrimal glands are well developed, and he can cry without stopping. There were teardrops on his eyelashes, and there were tear stains on his face, as if he had been severely bullied.
It's a pity that Song Yan couldn't see him. He didn't know how pitiful his current appearance was, but he could only feel the wetness on his neck.
Song Yan sighed, in his twenty-eight years of life, it was the first time he had seen such a crying boy.