The moment he entered the room, Yan Zhuo's breath was suffocated, and his heart ached.
Cigarette butts piled up on the floor of the living room, and dead bodies were strewn all over the place. The curtains were drawn tightly, and the whole living room was like a dark room with no light.
He took a deep breath of the stale air, and asked slowly, "Is something wrong?"
Song Yan didn't seem to hear him, and ignored him, sitting on the sofa with his head bowed. The dark environment concealed his expression, making it impossible to distinguish his emotions.
No response, Yan Zhuo became more and more anxious. He opened the curtains, went to the balcony and opened the window to take a breath, trying to dissipate the haze that enveloped Song Yan.
Just a gift from heaven, Song Yan should enjoy it.
Song Yan didn't speak, Yan Zhuo stayed with him silently. He first picked up the cigarette butts on the floor and threw them into the trash can, then swept the ashes away, and finally went to the bathroom to find a rag to wipe the dirty parts of the floor.
After a while, the smell of smoke dissipated, the floor was cleaned up, and the room became clear and bright again.
After finishing all this, Yan Zhuo sat on the stool and took a breath, before resting for a while, he hurriedly said again: "You didn't eat in the morning, did you? Are you hungry? Is there anything you want to eat?"
Unfortunately, no one responded.
Yan Zhuo was helpless: "If you don't talk, I'll just do it casually. You have to fill your stomach first. What do you think?"
Song Yan finally had a reaction, but answered irrelevantly and said, "Why bother."
Yan Zhuo was about to get up and cook, when he heard this, he was taken aback, and asked in doubt, "Why bother?"
Song Yan raised his head, expressionless, and said extremely indifferently: "You are so nosy, you still want to take care of my food and drink after cleaning the house, and you still want to be a nanny after cleaning?"
He lazily leaned on the sofa, as if he had asked a fatal question to a lowly person.
Yan Zhuo frowned, ignoring the strong discomfort in his heart, and explained: "I said, we are friends, all of this is what I want to do for you based on my status as a friend, I don't think it's meddling .”
"Oh, friend?" Song Yan sneered at his explanation, "Do you believe this? I don't know what you think? Do you just want to be my friend or my boyfriend?"
Yan Zhuo didn't want to argue with him, especially when Song Yan was in a bad mood and his thoughts were unstable. He suppressed his anger and said calmly: "Since you understand it in your heart, you don't need to ask any more questions. Just take it as a way for me to satisfy my feelings."
Song Yan said coldly: "But your feelings are a burden to me."
The word "burden" stung Yan Zhuo, his face suddenly turned pale, and a few seconds later he said tiredly, "Then just treat me as a good deed every day?"
Song Yan half-smiles: "I need you poorly?"
This is simply unreasonable.
This doesn't work, then I can't, and I can't do anything. The emotional building that Yan Zhuo had piled up with great difficulty suddenly collapsed, and he roared hoarsely: "Then what do you want from me? How can I explain that you can accept my kindness to you? I bow my head and beg for mercy every day like a dog. Turning around you, beckoning, I'll just walk towards you, your emotions are my emotions, and I'll try my best to pick you up," he choked out, "You say that a burden is a burden, and my feelings are Worthless, right? So you have to say some nasty words to hurt me to be comfortable? You hate me, you can push me away instead of pushing me to bed... Tell me again, you, very, feel."
He almost squeezed the last four words out between his teeth, wishing he could leave immediately, away from Song Yan, a heartless and indifferent madman.
But he was reluctant, he had already come here, he managed to warm up a little, just a little... Song Yan's heart.
He couldn't bear to look back.
Listening to Yan Zhuo yelling these few words, Song Yan's expression remained unchanged, as if Yan Zhuo's breakdown and shouting had nothing to do with him, but the faint blue veins on his forehead implied his turbulent heart at the moment.
He didn't know why, it seemed that he would feel better only if Yan Zhuo was in pain with him and yelled at him.
It's as if... Only in this way can he feel that he is not the only one struggling in the mud... No matter how hard he tries, he can't get out, and finally drowns.
Although it's perverted.
Yan Zhuo closed his eyes and let out a long breath, because his voice was broken just now, and his voice was a little hoarse now, he asked, "Tell me, what do you want from me?"
If you want me to dig out my heart, I won't say anything, but I'm afraid you won't care about it.
Song Yanwei lowered his head and said nothing, not answering his words. From Yan Zhuo's point of view, that appearance... a bit sad.
In a confrontation between the two sides, there must always be a side that admits defeat.
Thinking of Song Yan's moody temper, Yan Zhuo finally conceded again. He walked over and sat next to Song Yan, hugged him, stroked his back lightly with his hands, and began to comfort him: "It's okay, it's okay, no matter what happens Everything will pass."
Song Yan panted heavily, trying to suppress his emotions at the moment.
Yan Zhuo felt it, and softly comforted him in his ear: "You don't have to suppress yourself, I can tolerate all your bad tempers."
Holding Song Yan tighter, pressing his head on his shoulder, Yan Zhuo accepted the grief of the man in his arms with all his heart.
I don't know what happened to make you so sad, and if I can empathize with you, but I hope that I can be with you when you are sad, even if it can make your sadness only 0.1% less.
The scorching breath hit Yan Zhuo's neck, as if something had wet Yan Zhuo's clothes, causing his heart to throb with pain.
Suddenly, he heard Song Yan whisper: "There is no cornea, no. It was there at the beginning, but it was gone later."
Yan Zhuo was taken aback for a moment, not quite understanding the meaning of this sentence, and asked: "Why is it gone?"
Song Yan shook his head, opened his mouth and bit his neck lightly with his teeth, and didn't speak any more.
Yan Zhuo didn't dare to press him, so he could only pat him on the back lightly, full of doubts, hoping to give him some comfort.
After a while, Song Yan's mood gradually calmed down. He raised his head from Yan Zhuo's shoulder, and sat down on the sofa with a cold face as usual, as if he had never been vulnerable.
But Yan Zhuo understood that it was just an expression he put on because he was good at concealing himself.
Man is not God, so how could the human heart be restored in such a short period of time
A gust of wind suddenly blew outside the window, and the scent of flowers rolled into the room, adding a touch of sweetness to the dull atmosphere.
And Song Yan said to Yan Zhuo with a white-eyed wolf in this sweetness: "You go, I want to be alone later."
At this moment, Yan Zhuo felt that he was a trash that was discarded after use. He swallowed and asked awkwardly, "Do you want me to go?"
"right… "
But why do I feel that you want me to stay? Yan Zhuo didn't respond, he wouldn't let Song Yan stay by himself at a time like this.
"Are you going?" Song Yan asked, his expression becoming irritable.
"I can't go," he said.
Song Yan felt it was ridiculous, and reminded in a cold tone: "This is my home."
Yan Zhuo nodded: "I know."
"I have the right to let you go?"
"I know."
"and you-"
Yan Zhuo hugged Song Yan's neck desperately, and said with sad eyes: "I really can't go."
Song Yan was taken aback, his whole body stiffened.
The sun can melt glaciers, and light can shine into darkness. So can he try again, try...
Yan Zhuo clenched his snow-white teeth, brushed Song Yan's sharp chin with his fingertips, and said after a pause, "Yes, I want it."
Song Yan's heart skipped a beat. He licked his dry lower lip and asked hoarsely, "What... do you want?"
Yan Zhuo closed his eyes: "I want you, I want you." Afraid that Song Yan would refuse, he was too arrogant to be unreasonable, "I want you."
Almost to the point of stubbornness.
…
This time it was Yan Zhuo who took the initiative, so he didn't feel embarrassed anymore, and he didn't dare to blame Song Yan for "pressing" him on the bed.
Everything starts with love, and he loves it.
He sank while panting, he called Song Yan's name, and was about to drown in the other party's arms.
Layer after layer of waves hit, wet the sheets under the two of them. He blinked quickly a few times with mist in his eyes, and then gradually lost focus in waves of waves.
"Sex" is the most humble expression of his deep love for Song Yan.