Song Yan admitted that he panicked for a moment when Yan Zhuo said "I don't want you", but that moment passed quickly, and then he calmed down instead.
How could Yan Zhuo not want him.
Yan Zhuo is so kind to him, they still have the whole future and every four seasons, they have so many days to get along with each other slowly, he will let Yan Zhuo understand his heart little by little, and then they will never again because of Quarrel over such things.
They will trust each other, they will rely on each other.
Thinking of this, Song Yan let out a breath, and the boredom just disappeared without a trace.
Pursing his dry lips, he was about to say something when suddenly footsteps sounded, messy and hurried, as if someone was desperately trying to leave somewhere, and then he heard a loud "bang".
When Yan Zhuo left, there was a gust of wind that gently blew his hair.
The voice quickly calmed down, but his heart rose again.
It felt weird, he couldn't tell. It was as if something crashed in his heart, and then fell with a crackling sound.
In fact, after Yan Zhuo left, his mood flew, but he was stunned for a minute or two before he made up his mind to chase after him.
Song Yan quickly took the blind stick from the porch cabinet, forgot to change his shoes, and went outside. Just as he closed the room, a bell suddenly rang from his pocket.
Song Yan received a call from his attending doctor without any preparation, and was informed by the other party that a corneal donor had passed away, and he needed to go to the hospital immediately to prepare for a corneal transplant.
Because the news was too sudden, after Song Yan finished the operation, it was only 24 hours before the call was answered.
Not long after the operation, his eyes were still in a state of edema, he could see things blurry, and even blinking a few times would feel extremely sore.
So he didn't dare to use his eyes hard, so he had to close his eyes and rest his mind first.
On the way, he called Song Qiao and Yan Zhuo twice, but no one answered.
That's fine, he thought, and they'll be pleasantly surprised when his eyes heal completely.
He will no longer be a burden to others, and Yan Zhuo will no longer call him blind when he quarrels with him.
In this way, Song Yan resisted the urge to contact them.
Until five days later.
At that time, the doctor had just checked his eyes. When he was resting on the bedside, someone pushed the door in, and then he heard Song Qiao's voice: "Song Yan..."
Song Yan opened his eyes, and then he saw Song Qiao's face clearly, and it seemed like a world away for a moment.
For a year and a half, he was blind for a full year and a half.
Song Qiao seemed to be ten years older, and he was no longer as radiant as before. He had a slouched back and slumped shoulders, two nasolabial folds were deeply carved on his face, and his eyes were lifeless and bloodshot.
Before he had time to share his joy with him, Song Yan's heart sank.
"I want to talk to you about something." Song Qiao said, his face was extremely ugly.
…
The significance of eyes to Song Yan is extraordinary, so at the moment when he regained his eyesight, he was grateful to the donor and even didn't know how to thank him. The premise was that he didn't know that the cornea belonged to his sister.
Song Yaya died of a malignant arrhythmia, very suddenly, it was a sudden death, and there was no time to say goodbye.
Within half an hour after she left, Song Qiao made a decision for her—donate the cornea. One of them is that Song Yan is the designated beneficiary.
But Song Qiao knew Song Yan's character well. He knew that if Song Yan was asked to undergo surgery immediately after Song Yaya left, Song Yan would definitely refuse.
So he chose to hide it from Song Yan and bear all the pain himself. Let Song Yan recover his eyesight before telling him.
And now...
He handed an mp3 to Song Yan, trying to make his voice sound calm and not so uncomfortable: "You gave this to Yaya before, she will be very happy every time she hears her mother's voice, and later she gave it to Yaya in it." You recorded some words, and now... now it's time for you."
Song Yan took it and plugged in the earphones. There were only three recording files in it.
Arranged in chronological order, from farthest to most recent.
He knew the top one was his adoptive mother's recording.
So instead of ordering, he ordered the closest one. The time is displayed as two weeks ago.
At this time, the sunlight outside was just right, and the setting sun hit his chest directly through the glass, forming a mottled spot. Then, he heard a rustling movement in the earphone, and then he heard Song Yaya's voice.
Her voice was weak and weak: "Brother, how are you?"
Song Yan's heart trembled.
"I've been listening to my mother's voice for the past few days. It's very gentle, and I like it better. My father said that my mother passed away because of the same illness as me."
The sun was still shining brightly, Song Yanshu recalled that the day Tao Xin left was also a sunny summer.
"Dad asked me if I was afraid. Actually, I wasn't afraid at all. I just..." The sound in the earphones suddenly cut off, and it sounded again after a few seconds.
Turning down the volume, Song Yan wiped his face and walked to the window.
"And I'm also afraid that if I go to the sky, my mother will not recognize me, and I will not recognize her. I am afraid of being alone, afraid of being alone."
He closed his eyes in pain, raised his head, and tried his best to suppress the soreness in his eyes.
The voice in the earphones continued, and Song Yaya's voice still came, like a knife, like a sword, piercing his heart: "So if I leave, brother, you must visit me more often, and I'm talking, miss me like you miss brother Meng Cheng, don't forget me."
"Brother, you must be happy."
The recording stopped here abruptly. I don't know what Song Yaya was thinking while recording, and Song Yan didn't hear any choking or sobbing from her. As if she was telling someone else's affairs, she was very calm.
Calmly so that others do not realize that she may be explaining the funeral.
Song Yaya, the word bud is taken from the meaning of burying a seed and then breaking through the ground to form a bud, and grow vigorously, but she did not bloom in the end.
The sun shone on Song Yan's face, his eyes were very pale, and he just stared out of the window in a daze.
He seemed to be expressionless, as if he didn't care, but Song Qiao was standing beside him, and Song Qiao could feel his body trembling slightly under the thin clothes, and his clenched fist hanging by his side.
There was a dead silence in the room, and no one spoke for a long time.
After a long time, Song Yan lowered his head with red eyes and looked at the time of the third recording file.
It's this winter, January.
He froze for a moment, unable to remember what happened during that time. Song Yan click to listen—
The howling wind passed by my ears, making people chill even through the recording, and then a clear and flamboyant male voice sounded.
He heard Yan Zhuo say—
"Song Yan, you should be happy every day."
Song Yan was discharged from the hospital a week later.
He immediately went to Song Yaya's cemetery first. Coincidentally, Song Yaya and Meng Cheng were in the same cemetery, one was on the east side and the other was on the west side. There is a hill in the middle, so you can walk there in no time.
Song Qiao said: "I chose it, so that Yaya won't be too lonely." He purposely put it lightly: "In this way, she can often visit Meng Cheng. Meng Cheng has such a good relationship with you, and he will definitely be in the sky." Take care of our buds."
Song Qiao only got a girl like Song Yaya when he was in his forties. He is considered a good old man. He has doted on her for nearly thirteen years. Even if he made mental preparations very early, how could he leave her so easily? to let go.
I'm afraid I won't be able to let go of it for the rest of my life.
Song Yan knew very well that he was pretending to be strong.
Song Yan felt uncomfortable, his Adam's apple moved, and then slowly comforted: "Yes, Ya Ya will not be alone. When we see them again in a hundred years, they will be younger and prettier than us,"
This sentence really didn't seem to come from Song Yan's mouth. Song Qiao stared at him for a while and then pulled the corner of his mouth with a forced smile: "Everyone has his own life."
"You have to live well every day in the future," he said, "that's the greatest consolation for them."
Song Yan didn't know why he said that suddenly, and looked at him strangely.
Song Qiao said again: "Especially character, don't be so awkward anymore, don't hide whoever you like."
"Yan Zhuo..." he considered his words, "I haven't seen him for a long time, and he didn't come after your surgery, are you..."
Song Yan asked himself that he had never been a worry-free child. Ever since he was a child, Song Qiao had been worried about him all kinds of things. Now, Song Yaya has just left, but he still has to hold on to his sadness and sadness to worry about his relationship problems...
Song Yan didn't know how guilty he was, he took Song Qiao's words and said frankly: "We had a fight."
"Um?"
At first I thought it was just a small thing, and he would come back as soon as he calmed down. but now…
Song Yan lowered his eyes and said in a low voice, "I called him many times, but he didn't answer."
A lot of communication, starting from when he heard Yan Zhuo's recording.
But not once was it connected.
"Maybe he is..." Song Yan's eyes were deep, he looked into the distance heavily, and guessed, "You've already blocked me."
Song Yan couldn't help thinking: Who said that the real departure was silent, and they quarreled so fiercely, didn't Yan Zhuo still leave
Before Yan Zhuo left, he said a lot of sad things, but he couldn't tell which ones were true and which ones were false.
But now he understands, at least one of the many accusations and grievances... Yan Zhuo should be serious.
"I don't want you anymore".
Yan Zhuo... really doesn't want him anymore.
Song Qiao didn't know how much conflict they had, so he said to Song Yan: "If you are blocked, go to him."
"I..." Song Yan paused suspiciously.
"What are you afraid of?" Seeing his hesitation, Song Qiao taught him, "You have been fearless since you were a child, but why did you shrink back when you came to Yan Zhuo? If he doesn't come to you, you go to him. Under your feet, you should know best how to walk and where to go.”
Where your heart is, is where you are going.