Song Yan gently pushed open the door, at that time Yan Zhuo was so engrossed in his sadness that he didn't even notice his footsteps, he just sat quietly by the window.
Song Yan sighed, walked over and bent down to wrap his arms around him gently from behind.
"Yan Zhuo." He called.
Yan Zhuo's body stiffened suddenly.
The sound is not fake, nor is the touch.
Why did Song Yan come back again
He turned his head to look at Song Yan in a daze, the teardrops on his face were still wet, hanging on his eyelashes.
Song Yan wiped it off for him with fingertips, stared at him deeply and asked, "Why are you crying?"
Yan Zhuo's body trembled, and it took a long time before he murmured: "No."
Song Yan asked: "Is it because I'm leaving?"
Yan Zhuo hesitated: "No..."
If you ask what kind of experience is duplicity, Song Yan should have the most say, after all, he has been so awkward since he was a child.
As long as there are things he doesn't want to admit or say, no matter what methods others use, they can't make him speak.
But never expected that Yan Zhuo was such a master.
Song Yan was also amused seeing his hard-spoken appearance, so he teased: "What's the matter, it's worth your tears."
Yan Zhuo felt ashamed, frowned and said, "I don't want to cry!"
"No?" Song Yan moved a chair to sit in front of him, and said softly, "The tears on your face haven't dried yet."
Yan Zhuo was startled, and hurriedly reached out to wipe it off.
Song Yan pulled his hand down and held it tightly, and asked after a while: "Yan Zhuo, did you misunderstand something?"
"What… ?"
"I'm just leaving temporarily, and I will come back," Song Yan said, "You are here, where else can I go."
Yan Zhuo was seen through his inner thoughts, and slowly lowered his head, embarrassed to look at him again.
Song Yan grabbed his hand and shook it: "Huh?"
"Yeah." Yan Zhuo said in a muffled voice, "It's not just because of this..."
Song Yan frowned: "Then what else?"
Yan Zhuo bit his lower lip, took out Song Yanluo's bracelet from his pocket and said, "You didn't take it, you don't want it anymore."
It was given to Song Yan by him once, and it was full of his feelings and thoughts. But Song Yan left, brought everything with him before leaving, but forgot about it.
Song Yan sighed angrily, and explained: "I took it off and put it next to the pillow before I took a shower last night, but I forgot to bring it today. I found out when I got in the car, so I hurried back."
Yan Zhuo let out an "oh", obviously not very convinced.
Song Yan hooked his chin and forced him to raise his head: "It's true, I really didn't mean it, think about it, if I don't want it anymore, why would I come back, am I free?"
Yan Zhuo believed it a little, he returned the bracelet to Song Yan and said, "Then you can put it on."
Song Yan didn't answer, just stretched out his wrist and said, "Help me."
Yan Zhuo glanced at him, did not refuse, and lightly clasped the bracelet on his wrist.
"Yan Zhuo," Song Yan said looking at his hair, "why do you cry when I leave?"
Yan Zhuo said: "I told you it's not because you left..."
"Okay," Song Yan nodded, "Then let me ask in another way, why are you crying because I didn't take the bracelet away? No matter what, you cry because of me."
Song Yan's skin is very fair, and the red agate is very beautiful on his wrist. Yan Zhuo stared at it for a long time before saying, "Actually, I'm very conflicted."
Song Yan asked: "What are you struggling with?"
I want to forgive you, and I want to torture you, but once you leave, I don't know what to do.
Yan Zhuo swallowed his throat, suddenly his throat choked, and said with some embarrassment: "I think I'm done."
If Song Yan was ranked among the few in a hurry, then Yan Zhuo's tears must be one of the best.
As long as Yan Zhuo cries, even if it's just a little crying, he will feel a sharp pain in his heart.
Song Yan gently pressed Yan Zhuo's head on his shoulder, and said softly: "You won't finish, I won't let you finish."
"But..." Yan Zhuo sobbed softly, "You...you don't say anything, I don't know anything, I can think and guess, I want to forgive you, forgive you for all the bad things you did to me in the past , but I can't even find that opening, the opening that can convince myself."
He is also very helpless, while telling himself to stay away from Song Yan, or he will get hurt again, but on the other hand, he can't help but want to get closer in his heart.
The fact that he likes Song Yan is an instinct deep in his bones.
He can feel Song Yan's kindness and connivance to him during this time, he is not a fool, but the more he does this, the more afraid he is, afraid of repeating the same mistakes, afraid that they will not make it to the end...
If, at that time, he lost Song Yan again, what should he do
Another three years, six years or nine years
Every time he thought of this, he didn't even dare to try.
Song Yan was almost tormented to death by his words, so he hugged him tightly and said, "I'll tell you whatever you want to know."
Tell you everything.
Yan Zhuo suddenly stopped sobbing, he raised his head and blinked his eyes, Baba looked at Song Yan and asked, "So?"
so…
Song Yan closed his eyes: "I like you."
I like you.
Yan Zhuo did not expect that he would hear this sentence on this occasion.
Song Yan asked: "Do you still want to hear what I have to say?"
Yan Zhuo shook his head, his mind was blank now and he couldn't think of anything.
Song Yan looked at him deeply: "Then listen, let me tell you."
I didn't know where to start for a while, so Song Yan started talking about the recent things.
He said: "I went back this time because a student in the studio had an accident. The incident was quite serious, and I needed to communicate with the parents to deal with it. When it is resolved, I will come back and won't stay for a while."
Hearing the word "accident", Yan Zhuo asked, "Is it serious?"
Song Yan really didn't want him to worry, so he said, "It's okay."
Afraid that he would be worried, Song Yan said again: "Don't worry, I will deal with it as soon as possible and come back as soon as possible."
"I..." Yan Zhuo felt that he had been misunderstood, and quickly explained, "I never thought of being with you all the time."
"Well, I know," Song Yan smiled, "I want to cling to you all the time."
Yan Zhuo's face became hot, and he pulled the corner of his mouth in embarrassment.
Song Yan looked at his flushed face, sighed and said, "Yan Zhuo, I won't let you go again."
Yan Zhuo let out a "hmm", not knowing what to say.
Song Yan asked: "Is there anything else you want to know?"
He wanted Yan Zhuo to ask more, he wanted to talk more, and if he talked too much, he just let it go.
Yan Zhuo shook his head and nodded again, his eyes darkened suddenly, and he asked, "Do you still remember why we quarreled last time?"
Song Yan thought for a while: "I didn't know you were hurt, I didn't care about you."
"No," Yan Zhuo said, "I never blamed you for this."
He knew that Song Yan couldn't see him, so he didn't know he was injured, so how could he comfort him if he didn't know. So what really stuck in his throat was another thing, which made him never feel embarrassed to bring it up, but he couldn't let it go for a long time.
The time is too long, and Song Yan rarely recalls every scene when Yan Zhuo left him, he dare not. So let him think about the reason, and he really can't figure it out for a while.
Yan Zhuo knew that he didn't remember, and didn't want to embarrass him, so he said straight to the point: "It's because of Meng Cheng."
Song Yan frowned: "Meng Cheng?"
"Yeah." Yan Zhuo lowered his head, twisted his ten fingers together, and finally said what he had been brooding all along, "When I lived in your house, you never let me step into the guest room, and then I knew That was the place where he used to live, and my mentality collapsed at that time. On the day of the quarrel, I asked you if you liked him, but you didn't answer me. If you didn't tell me, I thought you automatically acquiesced. At that time, I It's sad, it's sad, it's sad, after all, how can the living compare with the dead."
It turned out that this was the case, Song Yan felt sorry for him beyond measure, and said guiltily, "I'm sorry for making you sad." He took Yan Zhuo's fingers into his big hands and wrapped them gently, "At first, I admit that There is his reason for not allowing you to sleep in the guest room, but later, you slept with me to treat my insomnia, so I didn't think about it deeply. As for you asking me if I like him, I don't explain because we really have nothing, he is my best friend, and only best friend. He left to protect me, so when others mention him, I feel that I I have an obligation to protect him, to maintain...his feelings for me."
"Yan Zhuo, to him, to you, I have never been the same."
Yan Zhuo asked: "Then he treats you..."
Song Yan nodded: "He does like me, but we have never crossed the boundaries of friends."
His eyes were extremely firm, and he looked at Yan Zhuo with a seriousness and seriousness that he had never seen before, so he wanted to swear immediately.
Now it's Yan Zhuo's turn to feel guilty, he lowered his head and whispered, "I'm sorry..."
"I'm sorry for what?" Song Yan suddenly smiled, "Shouldn't you be jealous or speculate?"
"It's all there." Yan Zhuo laughed at him self-deprecatingly.
The most sorry thing is that I can clearly talk to you and ask you well, but I chose a paranoid and radical method to quarrel with you and make trouble with you.
After the quarrel, the quarrel was over, and the people dispersed.
Song Yan also felt bitter in his heart, gently stroked his forehead and said, "You are not wrong."
No one wants to leave another person suddenly. Leaving can only be the accumulation of disappointment and sadness accumulated over the years.
He disappointed Yan Zhuo and also made him sad.
So Yan Zhuo left.
This itself is his problem, because he didn't cherish it well before.
He regrets it.
The relationship between people is also really amazing. I don't know when it will be broken, and I don't know if it can be connected. Fortunately, he was lucky to meet Yan Zhuo again after a few years. And Yan Zhuo obviously...has not been able to forget him.
This is enough.
He has never been a greedy person, as long as every day of the rest of his life, Yan Zhuo will be by his side and in his sight.
enough.