"Li Shen, calm down!" Hang Shou shouted at me!
However, the frantic flow of emotions kept surging in my mind, and the pain of losing Nie Zun again was too much for me to bear. I was almost deliberately destroying myself. It seemed that only in this way, only the destruction of myself could replace the pain in my heart now !
When the pain in the heart reaches a certain level, only by torturing the body can there be a little bit of replacement!
I never thought about it, never realized that my dependence on Nie Zun has already become so deep that I can't extricate myself!
At first I blamed him, I always put my fault, my own pain on him, it seems that only through this can reduce the pain in my heart, because as a mental patient who has been excluded for many years, I know that I In fact, there is no problem. I love my family and my friends. What right does this world have to abandon me for no reason and put me in the ranks of monsters
Even if she shares one body and two personalities with me, who have I betrayed over the years
All the people in the world betrayed me, but in the end I only lost one, and that was still my lover.
Yes, I killed Gao Qi, I paid the price, and I came here to atone for my sin.
But Nie Zun is not wrong, until today I finally understand that Nie Zun is not wrong.
He is lonelier than me, but who has he blamed
Everyone avoided him for thousands of miles before he was alive, even if he came to this Forbidden Split Zone, it wasn't his fault!
Even if all the people died beside him, it cannot be said that those people died because of him!
What did he do wrong for the world to treat him like this? !
What the hell did he do wrong that I did this to him after he came to the Forbidden Zone? !
All along, he is standing behind me, he looked at me, silent, speechless.
Thinking about it this way, since I came to the Forbidden Zone, when have I lived as lonely as I was in my life? never.
Because he is beside me day and night, behind me.
Have I ever been hurt since I came to the Forbidden Zone? never.
Physically, with the power of thought, and his protection, I have not suffered any harm.
Mentally, Li Qing and he have always protected me, until I became the district lord and was supported by people in the west district. I never had any particularly unpleasant experiences.
What has been tormenting me all this time is what happened before I was alive, it is my past. I actually didn't take any damage after actually restarting in the Forbidden Zone.
But Nie Zun was not.
I passed on the possibility of being hurt to him.
In the beginning, Nie Zun was always not talkative, and just followed me quietly. At that time, I detested him and always hated seeing him when I turned around.
However, I admit that even if I hated him at that time, the feeling of being able to see him when I was doing anything gave me a sense of peace of mind.
The sense of security is something that I have never enjoyed, which may not be understood by others.
But I just have no sense of security. When I saw anyone in my life, the feedback from the other party was almost blank and dodge.
But after coming to the Forbidden Zone, his eyes, his eyes more beautiful than the stars, will always be on me.
What was blinding my eyes to this sense of security that almost offsets all pain
Try to think about it, no matter what you do, there is someone who will silently accompany and protect you. Who would really be disgusted with this sense of security
Thinking of this, I cried and grabbed the skein: "I was wrong, I have been wrong all this time, I can't live without him...."
Deep helplessness and pity flashed in the big twisted eyes, and she grabbed my hand.
Yes, I was wrong.
When eating, Nie Zun accompanied me, although it doesn't matter whether we eat or not in the Forbidden Split Zone.
When sleeping, Nie Zun accompanied me. Although I am not afraid of the dark, I am the only one who is afraid of the dark.
Because of Nie Zun, I don't have to work too hard to practice the use of mind power. I have always felt that Nie Zun is inseparable from me anyway, and he can't leave here after I die anyway, so he will protect me.
He did say to me himself: I will always protect you.
Even just now, he was still protecting me.
But what did I bring him
He was silent at the beginning, but later he gradually became joking, sarcasm, and occasionally unruly and unrestrained. When did I really think about the reasons for these changes
What does he think about every day, does he want to leave the Forbidden Zone, is the bond between me and him a bondage to him, these, have I ever thought about it for him even once
I don't.
I didn't do anything for him, even in the end, I don't even know the reason why he became like this today.
I don't know anything about him, he protects me day in and day out.
Now this stripping, might as well kill me.
I have no hope here, the only thing that is not painful is that he is still with me, even if forced by that bondage.
But now, he doesn't know why he wants to leave me, and even if I try my best, I can't keep him by my side.
So what is the meaning of my existence here
I looked at Hang S, I looked at her motionless:
"He's gone, what's the point of me being here?"
Before Hang S could speak, my other hand was suddenly grabbed by Gao Qin Jiuye!
He pulled me up from the ground!
But I struggle! I don't have the energy to stand up!
So, in the end, it became me sitting on the ground in embarrassment, and he held my hand tightly.
Hang S squatted opposite me, her long hair fell to the ground, her big eyes under her straight bangs slowly filled with helplessness.
Gao Qin Jiuye bent over and stared at me with cold eyes: "What's the meaning? Li Shen, have you forgotten why you came here? Let me tell you, it's not because I put you Forcibly brought, you came voluntarily! Because you want to escape, you want to escape the fact that you killed Gao Qi! Now you tell me what the meaning of your existence here is, can I understand that you are finally tired of Are you here and want to leave?"
"Then why didn't you leave at the beginning? I gave you a chance. Since you are tired of this place, why didn't you leave?!"
Gao Qin Jiuye suddenly became very excited.
I looked at him blankly, the tears on my face had already dried up, tearing a piece of dry skin.
"Yeah, why don't I leave..." I muttered to myself.
"Why can't you be like me, I would rather let everyone down than let everyone down on me?" Gao Qin Jiuye looked at me sadly.
"Why were you never willing to be selfish once when you were alive, but why are you still unwilling to be selfish once when you come here after death?"
I continued to be at a loss: "What did you say?"
Gao Qin Jiuye looked into my eyes firmly: "I said, you refused to think about yourself when you were alive, so many people betrayed you, excluded you and resented you, if I were you, I should kill them all Man! And you finally killed him, I should have cheered for you, but you blamed yourself enough to escape here! This is hell! And you killed him right! Why do you want yourself To hell?! Why can't you be more selfish?"
Hang S calmly looked at the excited Gao Qin Jiuye, then at me.
My mood gradually calmed down a little because of Gao Qin Jiuye's sudden mood change and what he said.
What do you mean... I should think about myself before I die
I grabbed him with my backhand: "Who the hell are you, and why do you know everything about my life?"
When Gao Qin Jiuye heard my sudden question, his original emotions froze for a moment, and most of the intensity in his eyes went out immediately.
After a while, his expression changed, and it became a look like that of an old man who is tired of the world:
"Li Shen, are you in love with Nie Zun?"
"You, have you fallen in love with someone else again?"
His eyes were extremely desperate.
Heart, so uncomfortable.
Why is it so uncomfortable
It was as if some feeling that I had been ignoring and forgetting suddenly came up, but I didn't understand it, I couldn't identify it.
Am I in love with Nie Zun
I turned my head and looked straight at the twisted s:
"I can't live without him, help me get him back." I took the skein's hand.
Hang S looked at me and nodded slowly.
And Gao Qin Jiuye's arm, which was held by my other hand, suddenly froze.
He suddenly shook my hand away.
"You said you only love Gao Qi." He looked at me stubbornly.
I also returned his stubborn gaze: "You also said that you only care about Si Luo."
There is no need to point out the meaning behind the words, since you only care about Si Luo, why are you pretending to be here now
You, aren't you ruthless and ungrateful, even to me.
Didn't you bring me here just to gain strength? Then why do you have to sympathize with me
I just want Nie Zun to come back to me now.
"Killing Gao Qi, I have already taken him and his sins, and I will always make up for it here, but I can't do without Nie Zun, at least I must find him back, and bring him back to me, he Now that he is seriously injured and disfigured, it is finally time for me to protect him, how can I let him leave alone."
Gradually regaining my composure, I looked at Gao Qin Jiuye and stated my determination.
"Is he disfigured?" Hang S interjected with a frown.
Although my heart ached, I still endured it and nodded, "I saw him just now, he became very strange, his face was disfigured, three fingers were missing, and one of his eyes turned into a demon red for no reason."
"The consciousness body in the Forbidden Zone normally won't suffer irreparable damage, disfigured and missing fingers? Could it be that he has become an experimental physique, unable to heal himself like Jappa?"
Hang S made a reasonable guess.
Gao Qin Jiuye suddenly asked me:
"I'll ask you again, are you really unwilling to leave here?"
I smiled at him: "I answered you last time, I will not leave."
Even if you want to leave, it's definitely not now.
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