My name is Li Hang.
Now I'm eighteen, but I still can't comb my hair.
The reason why I can't comb my hair by myself is because she takes care of everything about me.
who is she
She is my sister, Li Qing.
Sunny, sunny, sunny.
Her person is as beautiful as her name.
And her heart
Her heart is more beautiful.
Beautiful things are often poisonous, and the more beautiful, the more poisonous.
My sister is five years older than me, and she has been called a genius girl since she was a child.
At the age of three, he could add, subtract, multiply, and divide. He went to primary school at the age of five, and finally skipped three grades in a row. He graduated from primary school at the age of seven.
My sister is so good, she is the pride of my parents.
The honor and pride of being a parent and what she gets in return is that everything she wants, my parents don't hesitate.
Anything can be a toy in her hands, including me.
I didn't know how much of a threat my presence was to my sister.
In the eyes of parents, relatives, and everyone, the unique gifted girl was threatened because of my appearance.
As smart as she is, even at such a young age, she already knew very well in her heart that the birth of my younger sister was an existence that should not exist for her.
Until today, many years later, when I think back to the beginning, maybe I can understand her mentality.
How terrified it should be.
When those relatives congratulated each other and said that one daughter is a blessing, and two daughters are a great blessing.
When those relatives are expecting one by one, will the second daughter be smarter than the first daughter, maybe she will be a genius among geniuses.
What kind of panic and helplessness should be in her heart
After all, she is only a five-year-old child. To her, my appearance is just a favorite candy being seen by others.
Until I was five, too, and for her, the candy finally found its way into someone else's mouth.
I didn't grow into another genius like everyone expected, and there was no second genius girl in Lao Li's house. I am just an ordinary child, my body is still a little weak, and I occasionally show a little more intelligence than my peers, but it is just a chance and a flash in the pan.
However, unexpectedly, my parents love me no less than they love my sister.
From the perspective of filial piety, I should not have commented on my parents.
But in reality, my parents were nicer to me, if you really mean it.
Isn't there such a law that when parents have two or more children, the one they prefer and dote on is often the youngest, or relatively speaking, the weakest one.
That child may not be smart, sensible, or even obedient.
But it is because of these weaknesses that they will gain more favor from their parents.
I seem to be like that.
My parents treat me in every possible way, even sometimes neglecting my sister who is a genius.
My parents were gentle people, certainly not abusive, and in fact they were very nice to my sister.
It's just that my sister stubbornly believes that they will treat her better without me.
If it weren't for me, there would be more praises for her intelligence, and it would be easier to get what she wants.
That's right, even in a family with good conditions, if the child wants anything from one to two, then the ease of getting it will naturally decrease.
As smart as my sister, how could she not understand this truth.
But it is precisely because she is as smart as my sister, so she did not express her resistance by crying like other children who were robbed of candies.
In fact, that's what a child should do.
But my sister is not a child. She has not been a child since she was a child. She has wisdom and brains that are not her age. So, she chose her own way to deal with my sudden disaster.
Since I was three years old, my sister bought me dolls.
By the age of five, I already had a lot of dolls, and gradually began to have memories.
When I was ten, my sister was fifteen.
Probably many gifted children have super-normal IQs only when they were children. My fifteen-year-old sister is far inferior to her five-year-old, who is much smarter than her peers.
Because she skipped grades as a child and she didn't learn some basic things solidly enough, so when she went to high school, she could only be regarded as a pretty good girl, not a genius girl.
My sister still loves me so much and bought me a lot of dolls. When I was young, I only had joy in my heart and doting on those dolls.
But more often, my sister likes to dress me up as a doll. Since I was young and still a child, my sister made me dress up more kawaii and talk more like a doll, but no one cared too much. My parents just feel relieved that my sister can love me so much and treat me well.
I really thought so back then.
Many memories of childhood have faded away, but it is my sister's gentle and bewitching voice that penetrates deep into the bone marrow.
"Xiang'er wants to be a doll, can I be a doll that my sister likes? Look, how beautiful a doll is, as long as you are willing to be a doll, my sister will buy you a lot of beautiful clothes and help you comb your beautiful hair, okay? ?”
But at that time, I only knew how to answer happily: "Okay, okay, sister, I will be a doll, and I will be the most beautiful doll."
She just looked at me very tenderly: "Okay, Jiao'er will be my sister's doll for the rest of my life, forever."
At that time, I didn't know that this promise of "being your doll forever" is just a seed, and it will grow devil fruit one day.
I still remember that year, when my sister put a new tutu skirt on me, she looked at me and stroked my face with her white catkins, as if she was touching a beloved toy Said to me: "Qian'er, do you know SD dolls?"
I chuckled: "I know, the most beautiful doll with big eyes."
"In my sister's heart, you are the most beautiful sd doll. From now on, you will be an sd doll, okay? My sister will give you a name, and it will be called Hangs, okay?"
I agreed without hesitation. I only remember how beautiful the sd doll is, but I don’t remember how many people said at that time that although the sd doll is beautiful, its expression is weird and dull.
So, until the age of eighteen, which was supposed to be the most beautiful age of a girl's blooming season, I was finally made into a perfect 'doll' by my sister.
Like a doll that has been carefully crafted for many years, it was born not to attract people's attention, but to complete a conspiracy that has been planned for many years.
After indoctrination by my sister from childhood to adulthood, I was finally molded into a doll.
I'm not very good at smiling, because every time I smile my sister tells me that SD dolls don't smile.
Habitually expressionless, because my sister told me that dolls don't need expressions.
I have been greedy for dolls since I was a teenager, and I kept asking my sister for new dolls, while being instilled everything about dolls by my sister, my family gradually began to alienate me, just because, as a daughter, I really It's so weird.
That alienation lasted until I was eighteen, but occasionally I could see from the worried eyes of my parents that they still loved and cared about me.
It's just that at that time, I was completely made by my sister into a doll who didn't know how to be grateful and didn't know how to feel.
In fact, even though I was persecuted by the doll complex to this day, I still can’t say that all of this is my sister’s fault, because everything is voluntary. Even though my sister wantonly educated me to lead an abnormal life for her own selfish desires, my life is still my choice after all.
If you hadn't been attracted to the beautiful doll in the first place, if you hadn't had lust in the first place, nothing would have happened.
With a habitual expressionless face, I hardly have any friends. Even my relatives say that I have a numb face, my eyes are dull, and I have no emotion and no gratitude.
Everyone feels sorry for me. It's a pity that I didn't grow up like my sister. I couldn't be as sensible, kind, gentle and intelligent as she was, and received the favor of the world.
Everyone regrets and mourns for me, just because I failed to be like my sister.
But no one ever asked me the question in my heart, I am me, why should I be like my sister.
Until my sister finally confided to me her plan all the time, she said that she just wanted to educate me to be a lonely, weird, unloved monster. And she, although she didn't get the desired result, she still did it after all.
I literally became a monster.
I have been accused countless times and warned not to have expressionless dolls without expressions. After a long time, I really became a person without expressions.
Nothing nothing no expression scary.
I just became such a terrible person.
But my sister likes me more and more, just because I am a doll made by her.
As a finished product, all the treatment I can enjoy in the future will be given to me by her as the master.
I have no expression, no emotion, no friends, only my sister.
As for my sister, after decades of defense, she finally won. She is still my parents' favorite daughter, and no one can take away even a little bit of glory and love from her.
She is the only one.
It wasn't until that day when she finally poured out all her demonic psychology on me that I finally understood that what she wanted was everything I got, not everything she gave me.
As she said, dolls will be abandoned one day, but sooner or later, who makes you a doll.
So, when she finally took back everything and chose to abandon me, as a doll, I had human conditioned reflex emotions for the first time, that is, revenge.
I stabbed her many times with that knife, and in the end, it was the medical certificate that sent me to that nursing home.
Li Xian, a patient with deep delusions, has always felt that she is a perfect SD doll who will be loved forever by her master.
Psychosis took me to a new place, and it wasn't a prison, and I didn't know what it was.