State of Mind

Chapter 25: 4. Alan

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"Brother Jian, what's wrong with you?"

When we returned to the hotel room, Alan saw me standing there in a daze, walking over with his head tilted, and reaching out to touch my face, and gently asked: "What's wrong with you? Is it uncomfortable?"

I stretched out my hand to cover her hand, touched her cold as jade skin, looked at the affection in her watery eyes, and finally made up my mind: "I have something to tell you. We will see you in the cafe below." With that, she let go of her hand and turned away.

"Brother Jian? Brother Jian?"

Alan’s suspicious voice came from behind, I closed the door with a wry smile, took out my phone, and shut it down with a click. In the dark corridor, there was a slip of golden red carpet, and the air was filled with a strong smell of smoke. , The outside window was humming, I leaned back against the door and closed my eyes. Sometimes, there are things that must be done, even if you are injured or damaged, I never regret the original report, just like now, I will not regret the confession at this time, no matter what the situation, Lao Tzu is such a man!

"Look, he chose this way, he is indeed a human being."

"Well, it really was something human beings did. Obviously, it was a loss of interests."

"Yes, an illogical choice."

"Who?"

I yelled, and the sound disappeared into the air again, silently.

I looked up at the camera on the roof and then at the left and right rooms. Everything was silent. The sound seemed to appear out of thin air, and then disappeared out of thin air, everything disappeared without a trace.

Maybe I should find time to see mental illness.

I wondered in a daze, if it wasn't for personality classification, I really couldn't guess where the voice came from and where it disappeared, but...

Are you crazy

I shook my head, went downstairs, went to the cafe next to the hotel, and found a remote place to sit down. Because I was upset, I took a cigarette out of my pocket and was about to light it. Suddenly, a waiter came over and laughed. He said: "Sir, sorry, this is a non-smoking area, please go to the seat at the window, where you can smoke."

I rolled my eyes, walked straight to the window, lit a cigarette, and started smoking.

Smoking is not good, but the smell of nicotine reassured me. I closed my eyes and leaned on the sofa, thinking about my fate after I confessed-I owe hundreds of thousands of debts, and I quit, I am afraid that I will go back to the past and be chased. In the panic of killing, the boss was connected with the underworld, and he said that breaking my leg was really not a blow. If it is... if it is true...

"Brother Jian."

Alan’s voice came, I opened my eyes and saw Alan sitting in front of me, wearing a low-cut black dress and skirt, wearing light make-up, scented, looking at me radiantly, pursing his mouth: "I know you What you want to say, just don’t play tricks.” As he said, he looked up at the people around him, his cheeks flushed, and he muttered softly, “You are too rash to propose here.”

When I heard this, my head "buzzed" and I thought she was misunderstanding. Thinking of the gap in her heart, I hurriedly stopped her words, stretched out my hand, and pressed Alan's hand: "Alan, listen. I said."

Alan stared at me blankly, her big eyes flickering flicker.

"Listen to me." I swallowed my saliva and looked around. It was in the evening when the sun was shining here. The decoration of the cafe was in a Gothic style. There were not many people, in twos and threes, echoing the saxophone. Music, in the middle hall, there is a pianist playing the piano, the melody is beautiful and moving, the world is so quiet and beautiful, but...

"Alan, I'm fake."

I stared at Alan's eyes, every word in a word.

"What?" Alan didn't react, her face froze for a while.

"I'm a fake." I blinked, telling Tung Chee about what he was looking for.

Alan listened quietly, those big beautiful eyes staring at herself in a daze, like a quiet lakeside, without any ups and downs.

I thought she didn't understand, and squeezed her hand hard: "Alan, Alan, have you heard?"

Alan nodded dullly, then blinked again: "I don't know."

Seeing her reaction like this, my heart seemed to be filled with bitterness, knowing that this was unacceptable to her, and sighed, holding her hand and saying, "Alan, you have to accept the facts, Dong Jian, he doesn’t love you. Now, he betrayed you, but in order to make you acceptable and to get rid of the persecution of the family, he wanted this way to break up painlessly."

As I said, I slowly pulled out my hand and smiled bitterly: "I'm a fake, just a dick who looks like Dong Jian. My name is Yu Kai. I know I'm sorry, Alan. You can beat or scold you." He said, closing his eyes, preparing for Alan's stormy collapse, catharsis, madness, and even swearing and beatings.

However, no.

After waiting for a long time, there is still an elegant and moving piano music around, and there is no movement at all.

"Alan?"

I opened my eyes in surprise, but saw that Alan seemed to have been acupuncture, sitting there dumbly, staring at me nonsensely.

"Alan, this is true." Alan stared at me and I subconsciously grabbed the coffee cup next to me and took a sip. The coffee was cold, revealing its original bitterness, and it penetrated into my throat, so bitter I couldn't tell.

Life is such suffering. I am suffering now, and I will suffer from it in the future, and even die, but I can't continue this way, and my conscience does not allow such deception.

I closed my eyes, and a faint bitter smile appeared at the corner of my mouth. There was a bit of tragic scent in this smile, knowing that it is impossible to do it, what is it

Like reporting the boss before, he's a fool, but...

"His behavior is really strange."

"Yes, this kind of human behavior is really strange."

"Can it be extracted?"

"It can be extracted."

Suddenly, such a voice rang in my ears.

I closed my eyes and didn't bother to open them. It's a mental illness, and it's a meaningless mental illness. This inexplicable conversation... Forget it, I don't bother to talk about it.

"Yu Kai, isn't it?"

Suddenly, Alan's voice rang.

I opened my eyes and saw Alan's stiff expression suddenly become vivid, like a gust of wind, the lake suddenly moved, and the ripples were everywhere, hiding the dark tide of the rolling waves.

"Yes, I am Yu Kai." I stammered nonsense.

"Yes." Alan nodded like a Japanese woman, and bowed slightly: "When you meet for the first time, please advise."

"Ha." I think her behavior is a bit weird, so I didn't dare to make more expressions, lest it irritate her, and said hurriedly: "Alan, you don't want to be like this, if you want to start, Dong Jian also has lasting difficulties..."

"I didn't think about it."

Alan looked up abruptly, her eyes flashing brightly: "I didn't think I couldn't think about it."

"it is good."

I was compelled by her aura and didn't dare to speak any more. I just stood up and looked at her, blinking to express my friendship.

"Is such that."

She swallowed, and said every word: "I really didn't think about it."

"I know, you didn't miss it."

Alan's reaction like this not only did not reassure me, but it made me feel a chill in my heart. This is definitely not the reaction a woman should have. You must know how Alan loves Tung Chee, and she could die yesterday. Go, now I tell her that Dong Jian doesn't love her anymore. Not only does he not love her, but he also finds someone to lie to her and want her to break up automatically so that he can fly with the woman he loves...

This is something that no woman can accept.

But this...

This Alan...

"Alan, are you okay?" I took a breath, stretched out my hand to support Alan's shoulders, and stared at Alan's eyes.

Such a weak-looking woman, for some reason, suddenly exuded a terrible aura. Those clear lake-like eyes were dyed with a deep black color, and the blackness was not at the bottom. She fell into the well. Inside.

Suddenly a thought came to my mind. I felt like I was standing next to the well water, looking down at the bottom of the well. There was a woman standing at the bottom of the well, looking at me with a raised face, pale and scary, because well. The bottom distance is too deep, she can't climb up at all, so her face is desperate, it is a kind of desperate despair...

"No." I yelled out softly, thinking that Alan was about to finish, feeling uncontrollable in regret, gritted his teeth and said: "Don't be like this, Alan, you can just cry if you want to start."

Alan smiled brightly and lowered her head.

"Alan, Alan, be strong." I shook Alan's shoulders: "You are strong, there is no Tung Jian, there are others, and... me."

It takes courage to say this, because... I do fall in love with this affectionate and tender woman, but I know I am not worthy, and I have hundreds of thousands of debts on my head. A low-level dick, where can I love this? Where's the noble and affectionate woman

"Alan, you still have your family." I covered my feelings and said again.

Alan kept her head down, like a sheep that had been thrown into death. She was dead and had no place to bury her, so she no longer wanted to resist.

"Alan? Alan, you can't be narrow."

Looking at Alan like this, a thought suddenly flashed in my mind, and my heart became more alarmed, and I shook Alan's shoulder hurriedly: "Don't think too much about it. The days to come will grow. If you feel sad, cry quickly and cry. "

Alan slowly raised her head, without a trace of expression on her face, her eyes were blank, as if they were blocked by something, and said indifferently: "Cry? I... I can't cry, that's it." She said, resting her head on her head. My shoulder: "Yu Kai, isn't it? I want you to do one last favor. For the sake of getting along these days, can you help me?"

"What's busy?" I felt a bad premonition in my heart.

"You promise first. If you agree, I will pay back the hundreds of thousands of debts for you." Alan whispered.

I did not say anything.

"Please." Alan seemed to cry.

"What the hell is it?" I frowned.

"kill me."