Everyone needs a person who can tolerate you to say "no", a person who you can cry in front of him without giving a reason.
Most of the time, we don't.
When he was about to come down from the balcony on the roof, Xu Tingsheng had regained his calm face and gentle smile. Apart from being a little weak, no one could see anything unusual about him.
Father Xu put his shoulders on his shoulders and went downstairs.
Mama Xu is busy in the kitchen.
Apple stands by the kitchen door. Xu Tingsheng watched for a while, she seemed very disturbed, she seemed to want to go in to help several times, but hesitated to go forward. To her, this was a perfectly normal state. This was the first time she met Xu Tingsheng's parents, so she naturally hoped to leave a good impression.
Today was too sudden for her, she didn't even have time to change into decent clothes, and asked Xu Tingsheng to find out what Xu's parents and Xu's mother liked and minded, which aggravated her panic.
Another reason is that Xu's mother's expression and attitude are not good. This is not aimed at Apple, but Apple feels it.
Xu's mother came to Yanzhou with anger. She was only angry with Xu Ting at first, but when she found out that a few girls seemed to have treated her sick baby son badly, she became even more angry and her target range expanded.
Also, she didn't like Xu Tingsheng's life like this, and she was still thinking about Ye Yingjing. In her opinion, a girl like Ye Yingjing, who was decent and graceful, was the one Xu Tingsheng should take good care of.
Putting all these together, Xu Tingsheng could imagine that when his mother snatched the cooking from Apple, he probably didn't pay much attention to his attitude.
This is Xu Tingsheng's mother, so how could Apple not be worried or in a hurry
Xu Tingsheng walked over, unzipped the belt of the apron for her, untied the apron, and said in a low voice, "My mother is angry at me, don't worry, come and sit down, let's talk to my father together."
Apple looked at Xu Tingsheng, then at the kitchen, hesitated for a moment, opened her mouth but didn't know what to say, she seemed very uneasy that she was just waiting for dinner with peace of mind.
"Go and make a cup of tea for my dad." Xu Tingsheng said.
So Apple seemed to have finally found a reason to feel at ease, made tea and brought it to Dad Xu and said, "Uncle drinks tea."
"Thank you," Xu's father said, "it's been hard work for you to take care of Tingsheng these days."
"I, I didn't take good care of it." Apple said with some shame.
"A lot of things have to be learned slowly. You are still a child, and you have already done a good job. In fact, it is the most important thing to have this kind of heart. Uncle is very grateful to you. When you have time to go home to play." Xu Dad said with a smile .
"Well, good." Apple looked at Xu Tingsheng, a little shy, but also unconcealably happy.
Just chatting with Dad Xu for a while, Apple's mood has eased a lot.
Xu's father's generosity and calmness can easily make people feel at ease in front of him, like a spring breeze. This may be something that Xu Tingsheng could not learn in his life. It is the accumulation of ups and downs, perseverance, and the ups and downs of life.
When dinner was served, Lu Zhixin opened a bottle of red wine from her collection for Dad Xu. Xu Tingsheng had begged for this bottle of wine many times before, and she was reluctant to part with it.
The ecology at the dinner table is like this.
Most of the people, including Apple himself, are eating the dishes cooked by Xu's mother, with sincere or "hypocritical" compliments. Only Xu Tingsheng and Xu's father eat the two dishes cooked by Apple from time to time, although the taste is indeed a bit miserable. Still say: "Just started learning, already very good."
Then Mama Xu asked Apple which school she was studying in and when it would start.
Apple looked at Xu Tingsheng, not knowing how to answer, should she tell Xu's mother, "I've dropped out of school, so I'll just stay here?"
Xu Tingsheng hid it up for her.
Lu Zhixin and Dad Xu chatted about red wine, then about business, about her family's business, the development of mutual sincerity, and even some of her thoughts on Huangou's future development.
Although Dad Xu had heard Xu Tingsheng talk about the importance of this girl in mutual sincerity and her ability, he was still a little surprised at this moment, and couldn't help but praise and recognize him again and again, and the more he talked, the more speculative he became.
Fang Cheng also rarely talked about her own affairs, and even mentioned the name of her retired grandfather for the first time: Fang Guohou.
Xu Tingsheng and Xu's father looked at each other, this is one of the big names in Jianhai Province.
So Apple began to become more at a loss, and she found that she seemed useless, and she couldn't even get in the conversation.
Xu Tingsheng ate a whole bowl of rice for the first time these days.
"I'll help you cook."
Seeing that Xu Tingsheng finally ate a little more, Apple couldn't help being happy, and finally found something to do, so he reached out to grab the bowl in front of Xu Tingsheng.
Because of nervousness and panic, the bowl slipped in her hand and fell to the ground.
"Pong!"
The bowl shattered on the ground.
It was only a bowl that was broken, but Apple's suppressed emotions seemed to be about to collapse with the sound of breaking, and he was at a loss, standing there in a daze, with his head down, tears in his eyes.
The whole table looked over, and Mama Xu also looked up.
Xu Tingsheng put his right arm up high, pretending to say to Apple: "Don't blame me, blame you for not holding it high enough, I touched it when I raised my arm."
Xu's mother looked at it and said angrily, "Do you want someone to hold the bowl to the sky? Blame others for the trouble you caused yourself."
"I just raised my arm to stretch myself." Xu Tingsheng defended.
"Then you can't blame others. Forget it, Suisui is safe." Xu Ma said.
Xu Tingsheng knew his mother very well, she had such a temper, that's why he did this.
After tidying up the broken bowls, Xu Tingsheng and Apple went into the kitchen together. Seeing the tears in Apple's eyes and the helpless expression, Xu Tingsheng reached out to hold her palm, and squeezed her palm.
"Don't worry, I'm here."
"Sorry, I'm so useless," Apple said.
"No, don't think about it, don't mess yourself up, I'm on your side, and my mother really doesn't mean anything, she just has that temper, and my father and I are usually afraid of her." Xu Tingsheng comforted .
"But, I'm really useless. Compared with Fang Cheng and Zhixin, I'm really useless except to drag you down. So I thought, I'll learn to take care of you and just wash and cook for you for the rest of my life." , but... I can't even hold a bowl. And you probably don't need such a woman, Zhixin is much more suitable than me."
Apple started talking more and more excited.
"Apple, calm down, things are not as bad as you think. First of all, I don't want to confuse life and career, you don't have to put pressure on yourself. Secondly, Lu Zhixin's ability comes from the environment in which she grew up. No, I can’t even compare to her in certain aspects. You can’t always compare your weaknesses to other people’s strengths. Then you won’t be better than others? Wouldn’t you be perfect? There is no perfect person in the world .”
"But there is nothing I am better than others."
"Of course, for example, you can sing, so many people like you..."
Xu Tingsheng said the wrong thing, and now that he said it, it might only make Apple more painful and disappointed.
Just as he was about to explain, Apple took the initiative to skip the topic and said, "Tingsheng, after you recover from illness, I will start to learn from Zhixin and learn to do things with mutual sincerity, okay? I will work hard. "
"Okay, I believe you."
Xu Tingsheng actually knew that Apple was not suitable, but he couldn't refuse now. As long as she is willing to do something positive, Xu Tingsheng will support it.
…
Xu's father and Xu's mother stayed at the river bank residence until nearly ten o'clock and went to the hotel.
Because of Apple's emotional instability, Xu Tingsheng insisted on staying.
That night, Xu Tingsheng's body temperature inexplicably rose again, causing him to feel dizzy from the fever. Apple hugged him and let him rest his head on his lap, watching over him carefully, nervous and at a loss.
But Xu Tingsheng insisted not to let her tell Mama Xu.
Apple understands why.
In a state of confusion, Xu Tingsheng asked Apple:
"If I die, how will you live?"
Apple couldn't help crying because of this sudden and heavy question, but found that she actually didn't have an answer, because if there must be an answer, it is that as long as she thinks about it, she feels empty.
She actually has no life of her own.
"Actually, I have already died once. Actually, that time, you had your own life and lived it very well." Xu Tingsheng said.
He spoke in an unconscious state, and Apple couldn't understand him saying that he had died once. What she heard was Xu Tingsheng saying that he hoped that he could live a good life without him.
"If it were me, I've been thinking, would you be better off without me in this world? You still have such a big career, Xiang Ning, and many more..."
Apple asked Xu Tingsheng.
"I think I will spend my whole life living in anxiety and guilt. Thank you for loving me, but I hope you will like yourself first and have the life you love, such as sunshine and freedom, such as singing and traveling..." Xu Tingsheng buried head, whispered.
"I promise you, I will not make you feel guilty or disturbed. I will live a good life."
When Apple was pouring water for Xu Tingsheng, he turned back to his room, took out a few bottles of sleeping pills in the suitcase, looked at them, and threw them into the river outside the window.