Luo Yu'an had picked flowers on the roadside in the outer courtyard, but she had never thought of picking the large bunch of red camellias in the courtyard of the shrine, because in her understanding, that was the favorite of the clan god. The clan women usually did not touch the bunch of red camellias when they cleaned the courtyard and burned incense. Luo Yu'an certainly did not dare to do so, as she was actually a very timid person.
However, at the beginning of the new year, she received such a flower, and her heart couldn't help but beat twice. Under the premise that the god is a "god", the appearance of this flower is so abrupt, so surprising and moving.
She held up the flower and came before Ujigami, "Is this a gift from you?"
Ujigami smiled and said to her, "Last night the wind was strong and the snow was heavy. This flower bloomed in the wind and snow, and it was very beautiful. Unfortunately, there were no branches to cover it, so it was still broken by the strong wind."
Luo Yu'an was brought into that situation by his words. Last night, it was snowing and windy. Shi Shen was looking at flowers in the snow and saw a flower that was blown off, so he picked it up and placed it in front of her.
Ujigami is a god. He doesn't rest at night. He sits quietly on the altar most of the time, like a real statue. Has he spent countless days and nights alone like this? How many years has he watched flowers bloom and fall? Just thinking about it, I feel that it must be a very lonely thing. But loneliness may just be a human's self-conceit. Maybe the gods don't think so.
Anyway, when they went out to eat at noon that day, Luo Yu'an secretly borrowed a little girl's mobile phone and sat in the corner of the cafeteria to play games for Shi Shen to see. Yes, he played for Shi Shen to see. He was not interested in the love-building, adventure-management and other games that young children liked, but he liked the simplest snake-like games.
A small snake, from the beginning, swallowed the small ball, the more it ate, the thicker and longer its body became. The longer Luo Yu'an sat there playing, the longer he could stay quietly by the side and watch. Luo Yu'an felt that he seemed to be enjoying watching, and she didn't know if it was her illusion.
Throughout the first month of the calendar year, starting from the New Year, the women of the clan would bring jade-carved talismans every day, asking the clan god to bless them.
Luo Yu'an had seen neighbors and colleagues go to temples and Taoist temples to pray for luck, love, health, etc. Sometimes they also brought back talismans, which were said to have been blessed. Luo Yu'an didn't know whether they were effective or not. She didn't believe it before, but now she saw with her own eyes that the clan god separated red spirits from his body and fell on the jade tablets. She felt that these "blessed" by the clan god must be useful.
A hint of bright red blends into the lustrous green and white jade pieces, like flowing blood.
The daughters of the clan brought in jade pieces every day and took them away. The consecration ceremony came to an end after the first month of the calendar year.
After the first month of the calendar year, the shrine became quiet again. No more Qin clan members came to worship and pray. The offerings that filled the shrine were taken away one by one, and the shrine returned to its cold and quiet state.
Luo Yu'an felt that Shishen seemed to have changed a little... and not for the good.
His body, wrapped in a large white robe, was usually not exposed, but he looked no different from an ordinary person, with his body and limbs all normal. Now, Luo Yu'an felt that his body had become a little empty. When he floated on the ground with his robe floating, it seemed as if there was no body underneath.
Luo Yu'an recalled how Shishen looked when she first met him. A few months later, she had deliberately forgotten about him and could not remember clearly. Only the fear she felt when facing an alien creature remained in her heart.
She observed silently, and several times she couldn't help but want to pull open Shi Shen's sleeve to see what was inside, but in the end she didn't dare.
The questions she didn't ask were pointed out by the clan ladies. She was not the only one who noticed the changes in the clan god. As clan ladies who had served the clan god for decades, the two old ladies were also particularly sensitive to the state of the clan god.
"Shishen, have you entered the period of decline so quickly this time?"
"There was a problem with the previous sacrifice, which caused your decay device to fail early this time."
The two women felt extremely guilty when they talked about this. The sacrificer himself also felt guilty when he heard it.
After the girl left, the God of the Clan looked at Luo Yu'an and smiled gently, "Why do you feel guilty? Didn't I eat your guilt?"
After being reminded of this, Luo Yu'an realized that, yes, she shouldn't feel guilty for not being eaten by others. After all, it really sounded weird.
“But… if it wasn’t me at the time, but another death row inmate, and it was the evil that you could absorb, you wouldn’t feel so bad.” As Luo Yu’an spoke, he wondered if he had begun to believe in God, like he had become a believer.
The neighbor aunt who believed in Buddhism used to be like this. She thought that what the Buddha said was right, and what the master in the temple said was also right. She thought about burning incense to the Buddha every day, chanting sutras, and adding incense money... If she leaves here in the future, if circumstances permit, Luo Yu'an also wants to offer a statue to the clan god, send some offerings every day, burn incense and chant sutras, just to show her gratitude.
The fact that she had such thoughts meant that she had become a follower of Ujigami. Since she is a believer, it is understandable that she would feel guilty.
Luo Yu'an nodded secretly to his own thoughts, and heard Shi Shen say, "I'm not uncomfortable."
"The life and death of humans is similar to the growth and decay of plants. Although the god seems to be above life and death, he is still in this endless cycle. Decay, sleep, and revive... countless times. When it becomes a regular pattern, it naturally becomes easy to feel uncomfortable."
Luo Yu'an still couldn't let it go after hearing this, and asked him carefully: "Can I worship you in the future? If you don't mind, I will give you some offerings, incense, candles, flowers, etc." Just like the neighbor aunt who brought a small statue of a god back from the temple.
"You want to worship me?" The god looked a little strange.
Luo Yu'an: "Is it not possible? Well, I'm not a member of the Qin clan, so I shouldn't be able to worship you." She was a little disappointed, but she could understand it. After all, it was the clan god, not any other god. The clan god might be a more special existence.
Ujigami was still looking at her strangely, and seemed to be thinking about something, for a long time.
Luo Yu’an: “…” Did I say something wrong
Finally, the changes in Ujigami's appearance began to become obvious. His hands no longer showed from his sleeves, and the smile on his face became more and more rigid, as if it was painted on, and his cheeks became frighteningly thin. He rarely spoke, and sat motionless on the altar, and the feeling of belonging to a "human" slowly withered away from him.
The women came to burn incense, treating him with respect and awe, and asked him carefully: "In another month, should we prepare this sacrifice for you?"
Ujigami was a little slow to respond, he nodded and said, "Okay."
So next month, Shi Shen will become the same as when she first saw him? Will she still stay here then? Luo Yu'an just thought about this when Shi Shen's wooden but gentle voice rang in her ears. He said, "You should leave."
The decision to leave, which she had been thinking about for a long time, suddenly appeared before her, and Luo Yu'an was stunned. She looked at the clan god who was gradually revealing a ferocious and terrifying appearance in a trance, and hummed softly.
"Okay, thank you."
She was very grateful to the god for his protection and indulgence during this period. She was originally a death row inmate who was about to be executed, but now she could survive and perhaps complete what she wanted to do. She was very grateful for this encounter.
On the last night she stayed in the shrine, Luo Yu'an folded a lot of camellia paper flowers to offer to the god. Apart from these, she was alone and didn't know how else to express her gratitude.
On the second day, the clan women came to burn incense and heard their clan god say, "Send her away safely."
Left safely? To whom? The two old ladies' doubtful eyes were quickly covered with astonishment.
Suddenly, a young woman with black hair appeared under the altar next to Ujigami. She stood there a little uncomfortably. After meeting their wide eyes, she gave an awkward smile and nodded at them.
Luo Yu'an had been a "ghost" for several months, and he was still a little uncomfortable when he suddenly appeared in front of people. The surprise and shock in the eyes of the two old ladies were too obvious. Luo Yu'an even thought that they might faint directly from the shock. It was indeed dangerous at such an old age.
“You… you were the sacrifice that time? You’re still alive? How could it be that we didn’t realize… it was the clan god…” an old lady screamed in shock and was pulled back by another old lady. Only then did she realize that she had lost her composure. She glanced at the clan god at the top and quickly fell silent.
"Send her away safely." Ujigami spoke again.
The two women did not question or disobey the words of the clan god. They bowed their heads and said yes, motioning Luo Yu'an to follow them. Luo Yu'an suddenly felt like a bird leaving its nest, too timid to take a step, but the timidity was only for a moment, and she followed the two women without hesitation.
He walked out of the shrine and looked back. The curtain had just fallen, covering the gorgeous and smoke-filled altar, and the figure of the god was completely submerged in the darkness.
She followed the two clan girls in silence, just like the first day she came here, the corridor was empty, the spring breeze was not warm, and she felt a little cold. When she followed the clan god through this corridor, she never felt cold.
Walking to the outer courtyard, the calm and composed old lady seemed to be unable to hold on any longer. Suddenly, she gasped, covered her chest and cried out in pain: "How could this happen!"
Although the other old lady did not cry out in pain, she looked at Luo Yu'an with a very complicated expression.
Then, the yard suddenly became chaotic. The old lady, who was too old and too traumatized, was treated by the doctor who came quickly, but she still insisted on getting up and sending Luo Yu'an away personally.
"This is the order of the god!"
At the command of the two old ladies, the car drove into the old house, and the man in a suit welcomed them in. Luo Yu'an sat opposite the two old ladies, feeling very uncomfortable under their gazes.
She thought the old ladies would interrogate her with many questions, but no, the two of them just kept staring at her with a cold, serious and unfriendly look, as if they were picking out a piece of unqualified meat.
The red-pillared gatehouses on the long forest road fell into the depths of the dense forest behind them as the car roared. When they arrived at the intersection of the forest road, there was already another car waiting there. Luo Yu'an would get on this car alone and leave here far away.
The middle-aged man in the car got out to greet them. Seeing the two daughters who rarely showed up, he smiled attentively, "Daughters, I have already done what you asked. I will take you out of the old house."
The clan girls hummed, their attitudes were as cold and arrogant as ever. They treated everyone the same except for the clan god. As for Luo Yu'an who was about to leave, one of the clan girls finally couldn't hold back. She felt as if her lifelong faith had been tarnished, and said angrily:
"You blasphemed our God!"
Luo Yu'an subconsciously wanted to argue that she didn't, but then she suddenly remembered that she had hidden in the red string of the clan god, often hid behind him, pulled his sleeve to eat every day, asked him to take a bath, ate his offerings, and accidentally threw her hair into his statue... Are these considered blasphemy? She was not confident enough, so she kept silent after thinking about it.
The old lady was still panting in grief and anger: "You despicable...!"
Even if she didn't finish, Luo Yu'an could guess that she was most likely going to say that she was a despicable rat. It didn't matter, she was just a small person struggling to survive, she was as mediocre as a rat, and she knew it.
However, she knew that Ujigami would definitely not think so. The more noble and great a person is, the more likely he would treat everyone equally.
Leaning into the car, shutting out the old lady's anger, Luo Yu'an clenched a small red paper bag in her hand. It was the only thing she took away from here, and inside it was a dried camellia.