Han Wenqian only felt that his heart and blood were icy cold, and he didn't even have time to react to the sudden cold attack.
Xie He didn't seem to notice it, he reached out and hugged Han Wenqian's neck affectionately, put his lips against Han Wenqian's ear, and said with a smile: "Brother, why don't you talk? Promise me, okay..."
Han Wenqian looked at Xie He motionlessly... The young man had a long-lost bright smile on his face, and a long-lost melodious voice, all the beauty seemed like the past.
But he knew that under this beautiful appearance was a mess, because he finally completely destroyed him... from body to soul.
Xie He saw that Han Wenqian had been silent, and there was a trace of worry and fear in his dark eyes, and he said timidly: "Brother, what's wrong with you? I... did I make you angry?"
Didn't you tell me that you have to pay for everything you want? Am I doing something wrong
After a long time, Han Wenqian closed his eyes. He stretched out his hand and slowly tore off Xie He's arm holding him. There was no expression on his stern face. He opened his mouth and made a faint voice, "You did nothing wrong What, I did something wrong."
I shouldn't let my emotions go, thinking that I can still love you, but in fact, I have already lost the qualification to love you.
I made you like this, but you won't be alone, because the rest of my life will pay for it, no matter what you become... I'm with you, in hell.
Xie He blinked, his eyelashes trembling slightly, and he said softly: "But your appearance looks terrible..."
Han Wenqian wanted to reach out to comfort the young man in his arms, but he didn't move. He just said, "Don't be afraid, I'm not angry."
He took the clothes and put them on, then helped Xie He put them on, and finally said: "I think there are still some things to do, you should rest first."
After speaking, he walked out directly.
It was already twelve o'clock in the middle of the night, Han Wenqian stood in the corridor of the ward, pressed the corner of his eye with his thumb, as if something wanted to come out of his eye, but it didn't come out.
Xie He anxiously watched Han Wenqian leave, not knowing his answer, and fell asleep full of worries.
When he woke up the next day, Han Wenqian took care of him in the ward as usual, fed him with his own hands, and then checked the time to prepare to leave. Xie He kept thinking about what happened last night. Seeing that Han Wenqian was about to leave, he quickly stretched out his hands to clamp Han Wenqian's arm, and said eagerly: "Brother... are you leaving, I can't bear you..."
Han Wenqian looked at Xie He's expectant eyes, and listened to the soft voice, but there was only a cold and dead silence in his heart, and he couldn't make any waves. He knew what he wanted. Xie He didn't hesitate to sell his body, his feelings, his dignity, what he wanted was just that one thing...
Seeing that Han Wenqian didn't respond, Xie He showed a flattering smile: "Can you promise me what happened yesterday..."
Han Wenqian broke Xie He's hand without saying a word, and said, "I'll come back at night." He went out and changed the nurse to come in.
Xie He looked at the back of Han Wenqian leaving resolutely, his eyes were gloomy.
During the day, the nurse still takes care of Xie He as before, but Xie He, who has been quiet and obedient and even a little dull, is uncharacteristically, acting very irritable. When Han Wenqian is not around, he loses his temper and refuses to eat properly. The food was overturned several bowls.
The nurse didn't dare to force Xie He, so she could only persuade him with good words, but Xie He seemed very unreasonable and anxious.
[Xie He: Hey...]
[444: Host, are you in a bad mood_(:зゝ∠)_]
[Xie He: When I think about not having sex in the future, I won't be able to arouse my interest at all. Although that method is good, my brother won't be fooled the second time. Sigh JPG]
[444:...]
[Xie He: Brother still doesn't know how to love me, I have no choice but to teach him well:)]
[444:...]
… … … … … … …
Although Han Wenqian is not there, he still pays attention to Xie He's every move all the time, so what Xie He does in the ward falls into Han Wenqian's eyes. The young man who was gentle and obedient in front of him became irritable and moody as soon as he left his sight...
But Han Wenqian knew that the young man was not like this. His younger brother was such a gentle, kind, and good boy... As long as he recalled the past, the cruel comparison was like a sharp knife, mercilessly cutting Han Wenqian's heart Cut into slices.
But he can't give up, he still has to pick up his broken heart and continue to atone for his sins, he can't be a coward who escapes.
When Han Wenqian returned to the hospital, he did not go to see Xie He directly, but first met Xie He's attending doctor and psychologist.
The doctor in charge said that Xie He's body was fine, and his dependence on drugs was more of a mental addiction, which had no effect in the hospital. The psychiatrist also said that the environment of the hospital was not conducive to Xie He's recovery, and his mental state was very bad. Well, maybe returning to the familiar environment will be more helpful for his recovery. He suggested that Han Wenqian take Xie He home to continue the later treatment, and to see more friends.
Han Wenqian listened carefully to his opinions, and then returned to Xie He's ward. He paused at the door for a while, took a deep breath... and then slowly stretched out his hand and pushed the door open.
The nurse in the ward was feeding Xie He dinner, but Xie He was very uncooperative and kept telling her to leave. The nurse was also very helpless. Seeing Han Wenqian came as if seeing a savior, she immediately stood up respectfully and said: "Han Wenqian total."
Han Wenqian nodded, "Put it down, let me do it."
The nurse immediately put down the bowl and went out.
When Xie He heard that Boss Han, his body couldn't help but stiffen. He turned his head slowly, with a flattering smile on his face, and said with a smile, "Brother...you are back."
Han Wenqian walked over to look at the almost untouched dinner, picked it up, and said to Xie He: "Not to your liking?"
Xie He shook his head, "No..."
Han Wenqian didn't ask any more questions, and slowly scooped it up to feed Xie He. In front of Han Wenqian, Xie He behaved very obediently, and soon finished a bowl of rice. He said obediently to Han Wenqian: "I eat full."
Han Wenqian showed a faint smile, nodded and said, "That's good."
Xie He Qiqi Ai Ai looked at Han Wenqian, couldn't help itching, and said: "Brother...you haven't answered me about what happened yesterday, I know you are the best for me, and you will definitely agree to me, right... "
In the depths of Han Wenqian's eyes was an almost imperceptible look of pain and depression, but his expression was extremely calm. He stood up without answering Xie He, and went out with the trash.
An anxious look flashed across Xie He's face. He began to reach out to take off his clothes, but his fingers were not flexible. After tossing for a long time, he couldn't untie the buttons. After finishing the lower body clothes, Han Wenqian came back.
Han Wenqian just went out for a while, and when he came back, he saw Xie He sitting there, with two long white legs dangling gently beside the hospital bed, and when he saw him coming back, he jumped down barefoot and walked towards him In the past, there was a bright smile on his pretty face, as if he didn't feel how shameful and degrading his behavior was.
Xie He reached out and hugged Han Wenqian's neck, rubbed against his chin, and said softly, "Brother, let's do it, I want you..."
Han Wenqian's expression distorted for a moment, he suddenly hugged Xie He and put him on the bed, regardless of his resistance, he firmly helped him put his clothes back on, held Xie He's wrist and held him down, bowed his head and fixed his gaze Looking into his eyes, "I won't give you drugs."
Xie He looked at the determination in Han Wenqian's eyes and listened to his unquestionable voice. He was both disappointed and terrified, and couldn't help but anxiously said, "I can accompany you to bed, I will be obedient, I can do anything, you give Am I okay..."
Han Wenqian felt as if there were countless knives flowing through his body with the blood. Enduring the piercing pain, he repeated word for word, "As long as I live for a day, I won't give it to you."
Hearing these words, Xie He finally couldn't pretend anymore, he stared angrily, his originally delicate and pleasant face became hideous, and began to struggle non-stop, his voice was sharp: "Why?! I have already I gave you my body, why don't you give it to me! I have already paid the price, didn't you say that you have to pay the price for everything you want?!"
"What do you want? Tell me, I can give it to you!"
Han Wenqian hugged Xie He vigorously in his arms, and restrained Xie He's struggle with his body. No matter how much Xie He cursed or begged and cried, he remained indifferent until Xie He couldn't move, and he gently lifted him Put it on the bed, lifted the messy hair on his forehead, and said softly: "You will be fine, we will go home tomorrow."
Xie He was powerless, looked at Han Wenqian with hatred, and made a hoarse voice of resentment: "You said you love me, and you said you will treat me well, you are lying to me at all... You just want to see me suffer."
Han Wenqian kissed Xie He's forehead lightly, and said, "Go to sleep, rest early."
Xie He was very angry. He felt that this person was hard like a stubborn stinky stone for a while, and soft like a mass of air for a while. No matter what he did, he would take it all as if nothing had happened, and even his expression would not change. For a moment, this made him feel very hopeless and powerless.
At last I was so tired that I fell asleep.
Han Wenqian watched Xie He close his eyes, breathe evenly, stared deeply at his face, and opened his lips silently: I love you.
…………………………
The next day Xie He was called out by Han Wenqian. Han Wenqian brought him a set of clothes and said with a smile, "Let's go home."
He said to help Xie He change the hospital gown. The young man looked fine, ignoring the bandaged hands, but looked pale and weak. Han Wenqian looked at him with nostalgia, and after a while Go ahead and pack other things.
Xie He has been silent all the time, looking at Han Wenqian with cold eyes. In his eyes, this is a devil who imprisoned him freely, neither giving him a happy life nor making him feel better, which made him hate and fear.
Han Wenqian was looked at by Xie He with indifferent eyes, his heart was already numb with pain, and he could still smile on his face, holding Xie He's hand: "You haven't been home for a long time, and parents miss you very much, listen Said that you came back today and asked me several times."
Xie He chuckled: "Oh."
Han Wenqian touched his head and said, "Let's go."
He lowered his eyes slightly, and the pain flashed by. The young man in front of him could no longer see everything that was once beautiful, as if he had become another strange person from the inside out, leaving only the remnants of the destruction. ash.
Xie He sat in the car expressionlessly, letting Han Wenqian help him fasten his seat belt.
Soon he returned home. Hearing that Xie He came back today, Han Mu had already ordered the servant to help him clean the room again, and asked the kitchen to cook Xie He's favorite dishes.
They were concerned about Xie He's state, and they didn't show any sad expressions. They all smiled with concern and gentleness, just as relaxed and casual as before, but when they were having dinner, Han Wenqian, who used to sit opposite Xie He, sat next to him On the right hand side, patiently taking care of Xie He to eat.
Han's father and Han's mother didn't say a word about Xie He's hand, as if it was completely natural.
Mother Han smiled and said, "Xiaoxin hasn't been home for a long time. You're not at home, so I always feel that something is missing at home."
Father Han nodded silently and said, "Just come back."
Xie He ate silently, without saying a word, his eyes were empty, he waited until he finished eating, then stood up and whispered: "I'm going up."
Han Mu hid the sad look in her eyes, smiled and said: "Go, I just came back today and have a rest early."
Xie He turned around with an 'oh' and went upstairs.
He went back to his bedroom. This bedroom was pasted with sky blue wallpaper, white European-style furniture, plush carpet on the floor. The style was sunny, warm and clean... This is the place where he lived for more than ten years, this is his home , but now it feels so strange.
It was as if he hadn't been back for such a long time in his life.
Xie He glanced around, the bedroom didn't seem to have changed much, but if you look closely, you will find that any sharp or potentially dangerous things have been taken away, he twitched the corner of his mouth in self-deprecating, Han Wenqian was still so cautious.
Xie He returned home, and after a few days of peace, he never went out once, either staying in his room or in the garden behind, most of the time he was silent.
He has been almost everywhere in his house these days, except for the piano room opposite the bedroom. It existed in his world and was completely dug out.
Han Wenqian often accompanied Xie He and talked to him. Even though he might not answer a sentence of Xie He's ten words, he never got bored. He acted like a good brother who cared for his younger brother.
Xie He slept on his own bed at night, and suddenly that kind of itching and unbearable feeling appeared again. Such an endless day is simply a kind of torture, and there is no way out... He suddenly sat up from the bed, turned over the bed beside the bed After a while, I finally found a business card in the drawer.
This is Zhou Yuebin's business card. Zhou Yuebin gave it to him at the beginning, and he threw it in the drawer after he came back. He never thought that... he would be useful for a day. If it was Zhou Yuebin, he would definitely be willing to give it to him... Xie He's eyes flashed with a hint of madness, and he found out his mobile phone, and checked the phone number one by one against the business card, but before he could get through, the bedroom door was suddenly pushed open opened!
Han Wenqian's tall and gloomy figure appeared in the bedroom, strode over and snatched the phone and business card from Xie He's hand!
He tore the business card into countless pieces vigorously, and the scraps of paper fell on the ground... His hands were trembling slightly, he looked at Xie He who was yelling at him, his eyes were in a daze for a moment, and then he hugged Xie He heavily in his arms!
Xie He looked at Han Wenqian angrily: "Give me back the phone! If you don't give it to me, I'll find someone else, and Zhou Yuebin will definitely give it to me!"
Han Wenqian held Xie He's waist tightly, and whispered in his ear: "He won't give it to you, because - he dare not."
Xie He said: "You—"
Han Wenqian looked at Xie He calmly, with a gloomy look in his eyes, and said slowly, "I'll say it again, as long as I am alive, you will never get drugs from anyone."
Xie He made a sharp and resentful voice, "Then you are going to die!"
Han Wenqian's face turned pale, and he pursed his lips tightly.
Xie He struggled to beat him and bite him, "Go to hell, go to hell, go to hell!"
Han Wenqian closed his eyes, letting Xie He bite and beat him, Xie He's ruthless curses echoed in his ears...
I'm sorry... It's not that I don't want to die, but I'm dead, what should you do...
I can't worry about you.
[Ding, target Han Wenqian favorability +1, current favorability 99]
Xie He had nothing to do with Han Wenqian, and finally fell asleep for some reason.
Han Wenqian carefully put Xie He on the bed, covered him with the quilt, reached out and touched Xie He's soft short hair... just sat there and stared at Xie He all night, until it was almost dawn, Gently got up and left.
Xie He opened his eyes and glanced at him indifferently.
[Xie He: I'm almost ready to leave, and I can finally end this boring day. Smile JPG]
[444: (⊙o⊙) Oh]
[Xie He: Although the days when clothes come to stretch out hands and meals come to open mouth are pretty cool, but love without sex has no future:)]
[444:...]
… … … … … … …
Two days later, the house suddenly became lively. Mother Han knocked on Xie He's door and smiled at him, "Xiaoxin, your classmates are here to visit you."
Xie Hezheng was sitting in the bedroom in a daze. When he heard the words from his classmate, nervousness and fear flashed in his eyes. He remembered the embarrassment when he left school, his face was pale, and he refused to go down no matter what.
Mother Han sighed, turned around and went down. After a while, the students came up, and Xie He's teacher Xu Guokun also came.
Xie He suddenly changed his face, and said sharply: "Who told you to come up! Get out, get out!" He doesn't want to see them, he is already like this, why should he be seen as a joke!
Those students looked at Xie He's bandaged hands, then at his pale and thin face, his panicked face, all of them were very sad, and they were ashamed of their previous misunderstanding of Xie He.
Teacher Xu Guokun stood up first. He looked at Xie He with the same loving eyes as before, and said, "We are here to visit you."
Xie He looked at the teacher, and remembered that he could no longer play the piano, nor did he go to the recital, which disappointed the teacher... Thinking of the dream he once pursued, which is now so far away, his eyes flushed, his voice weakened, and he twisted Turn your head and say: "I, I don't need you to come and see me..."
Xu Guokun took a step forward and looked at him with deep and wise eyes: "You have done nothing wrong, you are just a victim, why should you be ashamed and afraid? Those who should be ashamed and afraid are those who inflicted harm. Look up ,look at me."
Xie He raised his head instinctively, with tears in his eyes.
Xu Guokun said: "There is not only one road in life, one road is not going to work, you can also take other roads, even if those roads are difficult, but as long as you don't give up, you will definitely be able to get out. And what I want to say is that no matter what you can Can't play the piano, you are my best students, I am proud of you."
Xie He's tears finally flowed down uncontrollably, "Teacher..."
The other students gathered around and chatted chatteringly.
"We all know it. We misunderstood you if we didn't figure it out before."
"The police came over that day just to ask you to understand the situation, and I wanted to ask you some questions. You are a witness, not a criminal...Those people who spread rumors without knowing it are too hateful."
"Xiaoxin, when will you go back to school, we will miss you very much."
"You must get better soon."
Xie He's tears couldn't stop flowing, he couldn't say a word, his throat seemed to be choked by something.
Those caring voices and sincere eyes all told him... He has not been completely abandoned by this world, and there are still people who believe that he cares about him...
However, he knew clearly in his heart that there was no way for him to go back, and there was no way for the world to return to its original appearance.
He was about to disappoint them.
The students stayed for more than an hour, and left without bothering Xie He, and several seniors said they would come to see him next time.
Xie He sent them out, and then returned to his room with a blank expression.
When Han Wenqian came back at night, he didn't say a word about the day's affairs. He took care of Xie He for dinner as usual, and then sent him back to the bedroom. When he was about to leave, Xie He called him to stop, and said softly, "It's you, right?"
Han Wenqian nodded.
Xie He looked at him fixedly, with tears in his eyes. After a long time, his lips trembled, "But don't you think it's too late..."
Han Wenqian said, "I know."
Xie He said: "Then why do you still do this?"
Han Wenqian slightly opened the corner of his mouth, showing a bitter smile, "Some things, you can't stop doing them just because it's too late." Although, probably nothing can be redeemed, but I just... want to do my best for you can do...
Xie He looked at Han Wenqian like this, and recalled the brother who loved him... This is his favorite brother, if he didn't treat him like that at the beginning, it would be fine.
It would be nice if nothing happened.
Xie He closed his eyes dejectedly, "Go out."
Han Wenqian went out, but he didn't leave, but stood by the door with his back against the wall, his face was silent.
He stood for a long time, and when he heard no more movement inside, he turned around and walked in gently.
Xie He was already asleep, and he was curled up on the bed, with dry tears on his face, frowning slightly, his thin body looked so fragile, like a delicate and fragile item...
Han Wenqian pulled the quilt and carefully helped Xie He cover it. He stared deeply at the young man's pale and delicate face, and in his eyes was a deep love that was intense, hot and tormented by pain.
Slowly, he lowered his head and kissed Xie He's lips reverently.
From now on, I will be your good brother, only when you don't know, please allow me to get close to you.
I love you so much, so I hope you still have a long life, and I can walk with you...
Han Wenqian raised his head, his dark eyes were dark and deep, and then he saw the half-open door, Han Mu standing there, looking at him in shock.
The author has something to say: There is only one more chapter to end this world~