At the beginning of 2017, Xia Mian, who has been working in China for more than half a year, has been promoted several grades. At the age of 30, he became the youngest high-level decision-maker in the company. Across the street, but more than half an hour's drive away.
In the past six months, Xia Mian and Li Li have always met at least once a week, and the length of each time depends on whether Xia Mian is busy or not. If he is busy, he will most likely do it once and leave. If he is not too busy, he will stay at Li Li's house from Friday night until Monday morning.
Li Li has a lot of Xia Mian's things at home: his spare tablet and notebook, electric toothbrush, jacket, cufflinks, tie... Xia Mian also left two sets of high-end suits, which he clearly said he didn't want, but Li Li didn't. Throw them away, hang them individually in a closet, and carefully iron out every wrinkle.
It is not appropriate to use "friends with benefits" to define their relationship, because they occasionally do things that friends with benefits will not do. For example, on Qixi Festival, it was a Monday, but Xia Mian called Li Li out for dinner. They had dinner at the viewing restaurant, which was extremely hard to book, and chatted nonsense one after another. They didn't do anything after the meal, and went home to rest.
Li Li remembered that their seats were by the window, and the city lights spread out in front of the glass window, which became the background of the warm indoor lights. There was a crystal vase on the table, and there were nine red roses in it, and each bud was full of red, with fresh drops of water hanging from it. The nine roses were not on the other table, Li Li wasn't sure if they were bought by Xia Mian, or if they were Qixi decorations placed on the VIP tables in the restaurant.
What goes beyond the boundaries of "friends with guns" is that Xia Mian doesn't care if others know that he has a "relationship" with Li Li, and he doesn't even avoid Li Li in the workplace.
There were two or three times when Xia Mian left Li Li's home for work on a Monday, and left behind important documents or lost his tablet, he called Li Li to help him deliver them to the company.
Li Li went there in secret, hiding in the parking lot and asking Xia Mian where he put his things. Xia Mian asked him to enter the company's front desk to report his name, take a temporary pass and go to the special elevator to come to his office.
Li Li had no choice but to go all the way into Xia Mian's office under the probing eyes of the security guard, the front desk, and the assistant. After putting down his things, he was rewarded with a cup of hot tea and a "thank you".
Xia Mian's assistant was deeply confused by this. He has been following Xia Mian since he was in a foreign country, and he confirmed that his boss is not someone who will forget important documents over and over again. Even if he forgets rarely, out of strictness and confidentiality considerations, he will go to get it himself.
As the new year was approaching, Xia Mian suddenly contacted Li Li and asked him to come to the house to "help".
The incident was sudden, but the reason sounded reasonable: Xiao Da Xia Mian's cousin's family was coming to Xia Mian's house for dinner. The cousin's wife was pregnant with a second child and brought her daughter Guoguo, which was equivalent to four people to entertain. After Xia Mian got off work, he went home to cook and set the table. He couldn't do it alone.
He invited an outsider to participate in a family gathering, which shows that this outsider is not really an "outsider".
Li Li agreed without even thinking about it.
He spared the day when he was young, rushed to the morning market to buy the freshest ingredients, browsed through the recipes for pregnant women and children, tried them in advance, and picked out the ones with the best taste and the best appearance.
At five o'clock in the afternoon, Xia Mian arrived home and sent Li Li the address to come over.
Li Li packed the pre-processed ingredients in a crisper, took gifts for Xia Mian and his cousin, and drove to Xia Mian's house.
Xia Mian lives alone in Nuo Da's house, which seems to have no breath of life. He didn't hire a housekeeping aunt, and the house would either be picked up sooner or later, or the assistant would take time to clean it up. But Xia Mian didn't like to have his work assistants intervene too much in his private life, so the assistants came less often, and the room remained empty and slightly messy for a long time.
Li Li carried big bags and small bags in his hands, stood at the door and said, "Excuse me."
Xia Mian took the things in his hands and put them aside: "The slippers are in the lower right cabinet."
"Okay." Li Li bent down and asked while changing his shoes, "When will your cousin come over?"
"Between six and seven."
Li Li counted the time, and it was too late to make a beautiful banquet. He asked: "I'll make...five dishes first, do you think it's enough? The kids are so hungry that they can't stop eating at seven o'clock. You can eat first when people come, and I'll cook if there's anything missing."
Xia Mian rolled up both sleeves, took off his watch and put it on the table, revealing two muscular arms: "Go and put away the fragile items in the living room, I will cook."
Li Li was stunned.
In fact, Xia Mian is very good at cooking, not because the food he cooks tastes so good, but because his movements are nimble and his thinking is clear. No matter how complicated the dishes are, he will not panic, as long as he follows the recipe step by step If you keep going, you won't make mistakes, and you won't make a mess.
Li Li is different, he can cook, even the taste and appearance are good, but his actions are trivial, he uses too many pots and pans, and he has to work hard to clean up every time he finishes cooking.
"Then let me help you." Li Li said.
"No need." Xia Mian walked into the kitchen and scanned the menu on the tablet with his fingers, "I will call you when I need you."
Li Li answered him with a "yes", feeling half bitter and half sweet in his heart, he couldn't tell what it was like—
"I will call you when I need you".
I don't know if Xia Mian ever needed him during the eight years of separation.
Li Li put all the fragile items in the living room into the cabinet, smoothed the wrinkles on the sofa, and then spread the tablecloth on the dining table, and then he was free to do nothing.
Xia Mian didn't call him, and he didn't dare to go up to him, so he just sat in the living room and drank the time. The clock ticked, and it gradually reached half past six, when the doorbell rang, and Xia Mian's cousin's family arrived.
Xia Mian couldn't get away in the kitchen, so he asked Li Li to open the door. Li Li stepped forward bravely, opened the door, and smiled kindly at the previous family of three.
They were not surprised by Li Li's existence, apparently Xia Mian had informed them in advance.
The sister-in-law is Beta, who is six months pregnant and has not let go of her job as a designer. The eldest daughter, Guoguo, is lively and playful, which is the time for her to worry. She is overworked every day and can be described as exhausted. It is a rare relaxation for her to take Guoguo out to a relative's house to divert Guoguo's excess energy.
She took Guoguo by the hand and asked her to say hello to Li Li: "What does Guoguo want to tell uncle?"
"Hello, Uncle!" Guoguo was not afraid of life at all.
The presence of children dilutes the awkward atmosphere among unfamiliar adults. Li Li liked her very much when he saw her, squatted down and smiled at her, and asked her, "How old is Guoguo, and where does she go to school?"
His gentleness makes Guoguo have a good impression of him. The little girl tilted her head, her horns braided up to the sky, and said sweetly to him: "I'm six years old, and I'm going to elementary school soon."
Li Li smiled and rolled his eyes. He doesn't need children to act funny, as long as a little one stands in front of him, he feels very happy.
"Baby, Dad told you that this uncle is very powerful." The cousin carried her daughter to the sofa and fed her fruit, "In the past, when your little grandpa did bad things, this uncle beat your little grandpa with a bottle. Lying down."
Guoguo stared wide-eyed, with an apple in her mouth, and said "Wow" to Li Li.
Father Xia is an unseemly elder, even a six-year-old child knows this.
"I've heard of it." The sister-in-law leaned on the sofa to rest, and asked Li Li, "You used to be classmates with Xia Mian, right?"
"No." Li Li said, "I'm Teacher Xu's student. We met at Teacher Xu's house before."
"Oh..." the sister-in-law nodded, "It's very fate. Where do you work now?"
"Teaching art in the sixth middle school is an easy job, so I still work part-time outside for training."
The sister-in-law nodded again and again: "It's good to be a teacher. Where is your family? Are you planning to settle here now? Have you bought a house?"
Li Li answered flatly: "There is no one in my hometown. I have an aunt who is out of town. I settled down here and bought a two-bedroom house. Now I live alone."
When the sister-in-law asked this, she looked up at her husband, and the smile on her face deepened, as if to say, "Look, he's a nice guy."
The cousin smiled, got up and went to the kitchen to help Xia Mian.
That night, there was my cousin's family, and the dinner was plain and full of life. After the meal, Li Li went into the kitchen to clean up the dishes. His cousin was sitting in the living room with Guoguo in his arms. Guoguo was watching TV while shaking his sleepy mother.
The cousin lifted up the soft white sand in his hand and said to Xia Mian: "Come with me to the balcony and get one?"
Xia Mian refused to smoke, but agreed to go to the balcony with his cousin.
It was cold and windy at night, my cousin shrank his neck to light the cigarette, and didn't even light it by pressing the number. He spit out the cigarette and stuffed it back into the cigarette case.
"The last time you told me that you had a crush, did you mean Li Li?"
Xia Mian leaned against the wall, drawing the night into his eyes, creating a thick dark color: "Yes."
The cousin frowned with a headache: "I think you are not in the right state. He called you "you" and you are very indifferent to him. How do you look like you want to go with him?"
Xia Mian said: "That's why I said, I have to look again."
The cousin raised his hand and nodded on the side of his neck: "Is it because of this, do you know about him?"
Li Li didn't wear high-necked clothes today. After taking off his coat, the scars on his glands were exposed.
Xia Mian took a deep breath: "I know, but I don't know why."
The cousin was anxious, and asked urgently: "I don't know, so obviously why don't you know? The glands are made like that, is it infertile?"
No one spoke in the night breeze. Xia Mian acquiesced.
The cousin pushed him hard: "What are you thinking! Look at your house, you can have five or six babies. You... Even if you decide that you don't want children, then you should at least ask him why his glands are What's broken, and whether there is hope for a cure, don't you even ask?"
My cousin checked the balcony door, and after confirming that it was tightly closed, he continued, "I am a doctor. I have seen this kind of injury in the hospital. It is not an instrument injury. It is 100% broken by hand! Do you know any examples? After sexual assault, I don’t want to be an Omega anymore. The self-mutilation of the gland is the most common, followed by the Omega being a third party, who was pinned to the ground by the original partner and scratched his neck... You think clearly, if you can damage the gland, he will not Something good might happen, I'm not talking about how he was in the past, it means that he has problems with his whole body, but if you don't ask clearly, don't you feel blocked?"
Xia Mian pursed his lips, there were too many sharp and dark emotions churning in his mind, like an awl piercing from the top of his head to his heels, constantly crushing, stirring, poking, making him feel so painful.
Why didn't he want to ask, he wanted to ask so much, the first time he saw the scar, he wanted to pinch Li Li's neck and ask the truth. He wanted to know who did it, what happened to Li Li, and even more, if anyone had touched him, had anyone touched a fucking finger of him!
"I can't make it through."
Xia Mian gritted his teeth and squeezed out the words, "I want to hear him explain to me."
Li Li left without saying a word at first, and now he said he was coming back without explaining anything, Xia Mian couldn't make it through.
He is the one who was abandoned, isn't he suffering, isn't he worthy of compensation? Why did Li Li just walk away as soon as he said it, why should he be led by the rope, move forward and back with Li Li's every move, and bear the scorching fire brought by a scar.
Should he beg Li Li to give him the truth
impossible.
Even if he is trapped in a dream about grapes and cries bitterly all his life, don't break his back and be the servant of love he was eight years ago.