When Xiao Qingrong arrived at Xu Jiayin's house, Xu Jiayin hadn't come back yet, probably because of illness. Xiao Qingrong had the key to Xu Jiayin's house. After opening the door, he made sure there was no one inside, and came out of Xu Jiayin's house again. Instead, he came to a coffee shop outside Xu Jiayin's community.
Sitting in the coffee shop, looking out through the floor-to-ceiling windows, Xiao Qingrong's hair has gradually dried out, and Xiao Qingrong's feelings have also condensed along with the hair.
To be honest, the feeling now is a feeling that Xiao Qingrong has never experienced before, as if when thinking of Xu Jiayin, he is obviously happy in his heart, but what comes to his heart is a kind of sourness and helplessness, probably because he knows After leaving Xu Jiayin, it will not belong to me. The feeling of love and hate is very strange.
The former Xiao Qingrong, after experiencing so many things, has already seen through the warmth and coldness of this world. Whether it is family affection or friendship, they can all be exchanged for benefits, or in other words, there is a price to be paid from the beginning. How can we get these by exchanging the price of each other
The same is true for love. When you fall in love with someone, first of all because of the advantages of others, there is admiration in your heart, and then you slowly approach, and finally the thoughts of the two people begin to collide gradually, and feelings are born. This is also a kind of exchange. It's just that it will start from the exchange of hobbies, to the exchange of bodies, and finally to the exchange of souls.
Xiao Qingrong has never loved anyone, whether it was before he met 618 or after he met 618, the love he has seen and heard is indeed blooming like a brocade on the surface, but in fact the filth inside is unbearable one strike.
He leaned on the sofa, closed his eyes, what appeared in his mind was Xu Jiayin's smile, when she smiled and said she liked her, and when she cried and said she must be with him, those maybe happy or sour memories It appeared in Xiao Qingrong's mind, and then turned into feelings that affected Xiao Qingrong's emotions.
This is really a very wonderful feeling, which makes people feel obsessed. Even when Xiao Qingrong thinks of these memories, he still looks forward to the future of the two of them. Obviously, there is no future.
The so-called love is just an illusion caused by the influence of dopamine and norepinephrine. Once you lose this kind of thing, you will lose this feeling.
Just like Xu Jiayin, she chased herself crazily, and after she chose to give up, she was able to fall in love with another man so quickly and easily. This is the so-called dopamine effect. From a medical point of view, love is something like this. , is something that can easily trick one's brain.
618 didn't make a sound, and looked at its host quietly. It is a system created by humans, so it doesn't understand human thoughts at all. The host can live well by itself. Why does the host have to have sex with another person? What about feelings? This is something it can't figure out, and it's also something it can't stop.
At this moment, 618 couldn't understand what the so-called "audience" was thinking. It was like seeing a person walking on the shore without wet shoes, and wanted to see if such a person fell into the lake. How to save yourself
Xiao Qingrong is like a person wandering outside of these worlds, he doesn't care about people in any world, whether it's his parents, sisters, or friends, he doesn't care about them, such a person without any "flaws", It really makes people want to see what kind of mood he would be in if he fell into hopeless love.
Xiao Qingrong just sat in the coffee shop so quietly, from almost eleven o'clock in the morning until the afternoon, at four o'clock in the afternoon, he saw Xu Jiayin coming home, his eyes kept chasing Xu Jiayin, but he didn't follow.
"618, do you know how I felt when I saw her just now?"
Xiao Qingrong, who had been silent for nearly a day, finally spoke, and 618 was stunned by the shout.
[ah?]
It was paying attention to its host the whole time, and it didn't even know that Xu Jiayin had returned home. At this moment, it just wanted to know what its host was thinking.
"The moment I saw Xu Jiayin, I felt like my heart wasn't my own. It started beating crazily, and my mind became a mess. It was all Xu Jiayin's faces. That feeling was really wonderful. , My heart is pounding, it's a feeling I've never felt before."
This time in the world, after Xiao Qingrong entered the world, he not only possessed all the memories of this body, but also all the emotions from this body, among which the feelings for Xu Jiayin are the deepest.
Many people think that if Xu Jiayin can chase Xiao Qingrong for six years and be with him for two years, she must be the person who loves Xiao Qingrong the most in this world, but they have never thought that the most indifferent person in this world is also the most indifferent person when he is emotional. most true.
The feelings belonging to this body for Xu Jiayin affect Xiao Qingrong's thinking and affect his senses. Xiao Qingrong has never experienced this feeling of dry tongue and bewilderment whenever he thinks of someone.
"I love her, 618, I can feel it, I love her, but we can't be together."
Xiao Qingrong's face had a dreamy expression of happiness, but at this moment, in the eyes of 618, it was unprecedentedly false.
"I saw our future. She gave up on me. When faced with the difficulties of life, she chose to give up on me and was unwilling to face it with me."
At this moment, Xiao Qingrong's voice became an aria, which made 618 wonder if his host had been changed again. As a result, after careful study, he found that the host seemed to be only affected by the consciousness of this world, and he felt a little powerless at once.
As a system, it cannot change the influence of a world on the host.
If it is said that before the host arrived in each world, he only needed to know the memory of a body, and then he would carry the emotions brought by this body in the future. In this case, 618 cannot guarantee what will happen in the future. Whether the host will be infinitely affected, but it knows that it must keep the host alive and well.
After saying this, the expression on Xiao Qingrong's face turned sad and sad, and after a while, his eyes turned red, and he looked like a trapped animal at a glance.
The waitress on the side has actually been watching Xiao Qingrong for a long time. After all, Xiao Qingrong is good-looking, and he has been sitting since the morning, and he can tell at a glance that he is a person with a story. Knowing why, I also feel a little uncomfortable in my heart, wondering if the other party has encountered some difficult things.
The emotion brought by this body is the hotness suppressed under the calm appearance, like a volcanic eruption, let Xiao Qingrong experience the supreme pleasure, whether it is being loved or loving others, these emotions are strange but sincere , is something that Xiao Qingrong has never had.
"618, I want to record this feeling, I want to keep this feeling!!!"
As he spoke, he suddenly raised his head to look at the waiter at the side, his red eyes were still full of tears, and the waiter who was stared at was taken aback for a moment, staring blankly at Xiao Qingrong, at a loss for what to do.
"Can you help me find a pen and notebook?"
The waiter was stunned for a moment when he heard Xiao Qingrong's words, and nodded quickly. After all, these things can still be found in the coffee shop.
Soon, Xiao Qingrong got paper and pen from the waiter, which was the simplest black ballpoint pen, and clean white drawing paper, which should be used by the waiter in the store to record things.
He picked up the pen and began to draw on the white drawing paper. Occasionally, when the waitress went to serve coffee to the guests, she would sneak a look over, and found that the male guest was holding the original white drawing paper. , the outline of a girl began to appear, and after more than an hour, the face belonging to Xu Jiayin was drawn vividly under Xiao Qingrong's pen.
Xu Jiayin in the painting has crooked eyebrows and a happy smile. No matter how you look at it, she is just an ordinary-looking little girl, but the love in the girl's eyes in this painting is hard to hide. Found the love in this girl's eyes.
When the waiter passed by again, he saw all the portraits. The girl's eyes full of love in the painting seemed to be seen through the drawing paper.
"Is this your girlfriend? The painting is really good."
After she opened her mouth, she realized that she seemed a little presumptuous, she was a little embarrassed, and stood there awkwardly.
On the contrary, it was Xiao Qingrong who raised his head and smiled at her, showing off the drawing paper in his hand.
"Yes, this is my girlfriend, I love her very much."
There was also a happy smile on his face, which made the waitress feel envious for some reason, whether she was envious of the man who was deeply in love, or the woman who could be liked by this man.
"Then I wish you happiness."
She also showed a smile, thinking of the boy she had a crush on, maybe... she should also try to confess her love
The two spoke a few words briefly, and then Xiao Qingrong didn't check out until dark and left, but he didn't go to find Xu Jiayin. This behavior made 618 very puzzled.
[Host, why didn't you find Xu Jiayin?]
The host was affected by physical emotion, it should be because he likes Xu Jiayin very much.
Xiao Qingrong had already returned to his apartment, but when he heard 618's words, he raised his eyebrows.
"Why did I find her? The moment she found out that she had cancer, she had already made a choice, didn't she?"
Concealing the cancer, not telling her parents, not telling her boyfriend, and choosing to face it alone, this is Xu Jiayin's own idea. As the person who loves her the most in this world, he must respect her choice of course!
618 felt that something was wrong, but couldn't explain it, while Xiao Qingrong went to the study in the apartment and started painting again.
As a genius in the clothing department, Xiao Qingrong naturally has a stronger talent for painting than ordinary people. Soon, in Xiao Qingrong's hands, a dreamy wedding dress was designed, which made 618 look very beautiful.
But Xiao Qingrong looked at the wedding dress he drew, but he was very satisfied. In the past, no matter what he was designing or creating, he always felt that there was something missing, but now, when he picked up the brush, he felt His mind is full of emotions that need to be poured out, and the design in his hand has life for the first time.
Just like the portrait Xiao Qingrong drew in the coffee shop before, he finally has emotions.
This night was not peaceful for Xu Jiayin. She hid under the blanket, her cell phone was turned off, thinking about the hopeless life in the future, and the pain that she might experience, she felt so painful, especially in such a dark night. Being able to hug the quilt and cry, she wanted to talk to her boyfriend countless times, but reason finally stopped her, she couldn't drag her boyfriend down, she couldn't drag anyone down...
On the contrary, Xiao Qingrong bought a piano and a violin overnight. Since his paintings started to have emotions, the music is the same. Xiao Qingrong enjoys the emotions brought by this body, but does not intend to stop Xu Jiayin.
Everyone has their own path to choose. Since Xu Jiayin has chosen to betray once, even if all of this is stopped, many things have already happened. The river cannot flow backwards, and so can feelings.
Don't those people want to see what it's like for him to love someone? He let everyone watch and watch how he loves someone.
On the second day, Xiao Qingrong still chose to ask for leave. He planned to design an unprecedented wedding dress. He wanted to put all his love for Xu Jiayin in this series of wedding dresses, and participate in the most famous Alice wedding dress design competition abroad! He wants everyone to know his love for Xu Jiayin!
Xu Jiayin got up early after a whole night of sleepless nights, and she had made up her mind that since she already had cancer that could not be cured, she couldn't drag her parents and boyfriend down.
Turning on the phone, she found that there were a few more calls from her boyfriend. Just seeing her boyfriend's phone, Xu Jiayin's eyes turned red again.
"Qing Rong, what should I do? I really don't want to part with you, I really don't want to leave you..."
Holding the phone, Xu Jiayin cried into a ball, but after crying like this, Xu Jiayin could only calmly continue to do what she needed to do next.
First of all, Xu Jiayin found a real estate agency and said that she would sell her house. She bought this house because of Xiao Qingrong. A few years ago, because she knew Xiao Qingrong was trading in stocks, she stuck to the other party and brought her to speculate in stocks together. This house, and now, I don't need this house anymore.
Don't worry, I didn't live for long, and it was newly renovated, and the price Xu Jiayin offered was also suitable. The agent quickly contacted someone, and someone came to look at the house that afternoon, but Xu Jiayin was not in a good mood, so she didn't accompany her. That said, she hasn't figured out how to say goodbye to everyone yet.
According to the doctor, she can only live for half a year at most. Even after chemotherapy, a year is still difficult. She searched for her cancer on the Internet last night, and found that there was no successful treatment at all, and all of them were exacerbated. He died soon afterwards, and chemotherapy would only make the pain worse...
In three days, just three days, Xu Jiayin sold her house. The house was only over 80 square meters, and it was sold for more than two million yuan. Xu Jiayin planned to leave the money to her parents for retirement Qian, her parents only had a daughter like her, and Xu Jiayin couldn't accept that they had a white-haired man send a black-haired one.
In the past three days, apart from drawing design drafts, Xiao Qingrong just called Xu Jiayin. I don’t know how many calls. In the end, Xu Jiayin still didn’t answer the phone. At this time, Xiao Qingrong knew that Xu Jiayin still chose herself. the way you want to go.
After selling the house, Xu Jiayin lived in a hotel, holding her mobile phone, watching the dozen or so calls her boyfriend made today, tears fell down again.
If it is possible, she really wants to spend her whole life with the one she loves, but now, everything is impossible, she only has half a year to live, so how can she delay Qingrong
The fingers holding the mobile phone were trembling, opened the boyfriend's information record, and then slowly entered the words "Let's break up", just a few words, as if all Xu Jiayin's energy was spent to send the message At that moment, Xu Jiayin wailed loudly, then quickly turned off the phone, lying on the bed, tears finally swayed unscrupulously.
Ding dong, the sound of the mobile phone did not interrupt Xiao Qingrong's thoughts. He was drawing another new wedding dress at this time, so he ignored the movement of the mobile phone. After a while, he finished drawing the design, and Xiao Qingrong picked up the mobile phone , saw the news inside.
For a moment, Xiao Qingrong's face turned cold, and he hit back almost instinctively.
"Sorry, the number you are dialing is off..."
The sweet notification sound made Xiao Qingrong put down the mobile phone in his hand, and threw the mobile phone aside, his heart twitched for a moment, making Xiao Qingrong even a little pale.
He thought that he had prepared everything, but he didn't expect that the feelings of this body would still be so painful when the sentence of breaking up came, as if his heart had been crushed, and then shattered after reorganization.
"618, look, this is love, a feeling that you can't trust when you talk about love."
Could it be that Xu Jiayin's escape was due to his distrust of Xiao Qingrong? If you have enough trust, how can you come to such a step
At this time, looking at the design drawing he had just drawn, Xiao Qingrong actually had a feeling in his heart that he wanted to destroy everything. In the end, he stopped himself, just got up together, picked up his mobile phone and walked out the door After going out and being broken up, you need an answer after all.
I drove to Xu Jiayin's house overnight, only to find that the house had been replaced and the key could no longer open the door.
These already known information turned into real events. At this moment, Xiao Qingrong, who was sitting in the car, lowered his head and seemed very sad, but no one knew the indifference in his eyes.
Don't they like to watch these? He let these people see what he looks like when he is dominated by 'love'.
Anyway... In this world, there must always be someone who is crazy about love.