It's not that An Wujiu hasn't imagined his own life.
His memory is incomplete, so he gave up the past in a self-defeating manner, but he thought that at least he could control his future, such as coming out after obtaining a large amount of wealth from the altar, curing his mother's illness, finding his sister, Live a peaceful and peaceful life.
But this goal, which An Wujiu thought was not an extravagance, was broken tonight. The most frightening thing is that he doesn't even have the ability to cry for his mother.
It's like the ending of a long-forgotten movie. You obviously want to watch it seriously and with great interest, but you are suddenly told that it is a tragedy. You are obviously sad, but you can't cry.
It's just that he doesn't understand, the memory is so clear.
The goal he worked so hard to live on had long since failed.
These false, false memories have woven him into a rosy, hopeful vision, but the reality is that it's slammed and the culprit is nowhere to be found.
An Wugui couldn't help but think of the voice when the memory flooded in.
She told An Wujiu that he would slowly retrieve all his memories.
An Wujiu didn't understand who would use his feelings so cruelly to let him try to survive in the altar and become a survivor, and for what purpose
That person probably didn't expect that he could know the truth so early.
An Wujiu felt as if he had been walking in the foggy forest holding a firelight for a long time, but before he could get out, the firelight went out.
Everything is fake, the only consolation is that Shen Ti is here, inheriting his fragility.
An Wujiu thanked Shen Ti in his heart.
An Wujiu has always been in two extremes, the extreme kindness is like a pair of irresistible hands, pushing him in front of everyone, and taking everything with him, while the extreme evil eats back his soul from time to time, making him Constantly tortured himself in his heart. The only reason for him to accept the reality and be willing to continue is his mother.
If Shen Ti hadn't appeared, An Wujiu thought, he would definitely not have a good result tonight.
As Gabriel said, a hopeless person is either seeking death, or throwing himself into some illusory beliefs and losing himself.
Either way, he would no longer be himself.
"Thank you."
An Wujiu lowered his head and buried his face in his arms.
Vulnerability is not his norm, nor should it be.
Shen Ti stroked his back lightly, although he didn't speak, he thought in his heart that the one who should really say thank you is actually himself.
If there is no An Wujiu, he will probably be a nameless shadow wandering in the chaotic world for the rest of his life, without root and without affiliation.
But he didn't want to say "Thank you, too," or any other niceties.
Although he didn't understand very well, he had seen a lot and heard a lot.
"It seems that for ordinary people, gratitude cannot be counted in love." Shen Ti held An Wujiu's face, smiled and said to him in a persuasive tone, "How about you like me a little more?"
An Wujiu had no expression at first, but when he heard this sentence, he couldn't help laughing out loud.
"How come you say it, it's like paying off the debt with your own body."
Seeing An Wujiu's smile, Shen Ti's hanging heart finally let go.
He raised his eyebrows, "It's not impossible, I'm not a gentleman."
Unexpectedly, An Wujiu didn't let the words drop, and raised his eyebrows like him, "I may not be."
The reply of this sentence made Shen Ti choke.
Normally speaking, Shen Ti would of course have to pay it back and make jokes, but now, he feels a little emotional, feeling that An Wujiu is really slowly recovering.
The extreme two sides of him often make other people feel dangerous, but Shen Ti thinks differently from them.
Shen Ti raised his hand, brushing the broken hair scattered around his cheeks behind his ears.
"You didn't refute me." An Wujiu noticed that he was lost in thought, "What are you thinking?"
Shen Ti is very honest, "I think you are slowly recovering. The two extreme states before seem to have a unified trend now."
"Really?" An Wujiu smiled lightly, "I thought you didn't care."
"I don't care." Shen Ti put his hands on his waist, looking at him, "but you do."
"I don't understand others, but I seem to understand you. Every time you jump from one extreme to another, you should feel uncomfortable."
Shen Ti paused, and then said: "Especially for the first time, in the dungeon in the bunker, it was very torturous to change from evil to good, right?"
An Wujiu thought that the relationship between them was due to mutual attraction in various aspects, such as being interesting enough, so Shen Ti noticed it.
He never thought that Shen Ti had already seen his heart so clearly.
"That's what I think." Shen Ti tapped An Wujiu's back lightly with his finger, "Comparatively speaking, I don't really care what other people think, but I don't want you to be blamed for what you have done. Regrets, so seeing you come back from the extremes to the middle makes me happy."
This reason is far beyond An Wujiu's imagination.
"So that's how it is."
He was annoyed by himself more than once, whether he designed to kill or was too kind, every time he switched states, he couldn't face his other self.
An Wujiu thought that no one could understand him like this.
It seems that both he and Shen Ti are rare weirdos in this world, so they can hug each other and keep each other warm.
"I won't say thank you this time."
An Wujiu raised his face and kissed Shen Ti's chin.
"Shen Ti, I like you very much."
This sentence made Shen Ti very satisfied, but he was not satisfied with where he kissed, so he kissed him directly when he backed away. It came so suddenly that An Wujiu's heart skipped a beat.
After being told by him that he likes it, Shen Ti gave up trying to stop it, and almost pressed his whole body up, with one hand grabbing his waist, and the other hand controlling the back of An Wujiu's head.
The moment the tongues intertwined, An Wujiu's whole body was covered with a thin layer of electricity, as if his physical strength had been drained, and his senses were completely handed over to the other party's control.
He sucked in the wet panting, the tide of desire rising and falling like an ocean wave. Only when extreme emotions flooded the sky, An Wujiu felt like a flesh and blood person.
Shen Ti's hand brushed against the hem of his clothes, but in the end he didn't overdo it. He could feel that Shen Ti endured a kiss, stepped back, and looked at his own eyebrows.
Shen Ti looked at his slightly parted lips due to the lack of breathing, which were still glistening, and couldn't help pecking and kissing him again.
The doorbell rang outside, and it was just in time.
Shen Ti touched his cheek before turning around to open the door, and it turned out to be the little Caucasian boy. The other party pushed their meal in and introduced it to Shen Ti enthusiastically, but he lacked interest, with an expression of hope that it would be over soon.
An Wujiu stared at him and almost laughed.
After saying thank you three or four times, I almost asked someone to go out.
I usually pretend to be so good at it, but I don't pretend at this time.
Seeing that Shen Ti was very anxious, the other party didn't stay long, but just reminded them: "The room next door is also yours."
Shen Ti was about to speak, but An Wujiu did not expect to speak first.
"Actually, one room is enough." An Wujiu said very calmly, "We have always slept together before."
The little boy immediately felt embarrassed, and nodded his head shyly. Although he is not someone who is familiar with this matter, working in this kind of place, he somewhat understands it.
"Then... take your time, both of you." He bowed, "I wish you a good night."
"Thanks."
Although this place is not An Wujiu's favorite place, the western food is surprisingly delicious, but the drinks are a bit poor.
Holding the handle of the cup, he suddenly paused.
Why can I tell the quality of wine by myself
He lowered his eyes and looked at the label on the wine bottle. The price was so expensive that he would not take the initiative to consume it.
Sure enough, at least during the period of time when he lost his memory, he lived an extraordinary life.
"Why are you in a daze?" Shen Ti touched his glass with his, "Doesn't the wine taste good?"
An Wujiu shook his head. Even though the main course on the table was well done, he had hardly any appetite and put down his fork after only one bite.
"It seems that the food is not to my liking." Shen Ti smiled, "I knew I would not order food just now."
An Wujiu raised his eyes to meet him, thinking of the longing look in that little boy's eyes when he looked at Shen Ti just now, he suddenly felt a little bit pissed.
"But the waiter was very enthusiastic."
yes.
Shen Ti didn't say anything, but just now he kept looking towards An Wujiu, and saw him staring at the little boy without blinking.
Obviously, he was still kissing himself not long ago.
"It's quite cute." Shen Ti said deliberately.
An Wujiu picked up the fork, inserted a piece of fruit-like food from the salad, and agreed with Shen Ti's point of view, "Yeah. His legs seem to be prosthetics, and his face is very childish."
"Is this all observed?"
Very caring.
An Wujiu felt that his tone was becoming more and more inappropriate, "I saw that his two legs walked differently, so I observed them. The thickness of the legs is different, and one ankle is also artificial."
Shen Ti deliberately put down the knife and fork, rested his chin on one hand, raised his eyebrows at An Wujiu, "Have you ever observed me like this?"
An Wujiu understood Shen Ti's meaning, it turned out that Nong Bantian didn't want to hear him praise others.
"Of course." An Wujiu said honestly, "But you are very self-aware, and you know that your face will be too eye-catching, so you put on a mask. What can I observe? At most, you are tall, with arms It's beautiful, there's a tattoo on the Adam's apple, it just looks outstanding."
As soon as these impeccable words were uttered, Shen Ti was completely unable to refute.
Thinking about it, An Wujiu is not a silly and sweet person who can be manipulated by others. He doesn't like to talk, but he is also the most talkative. The brainwashing ability of the state is even more terrifying, otherwise he would not have fascinated so many people at once, and followed him wholeheartedly.
An Wujiu couldn't eat too much, he just sat on the chair and looked at Shen Ti, or looked at the neon-drenched night sky outside.
"Wearing a face covering isn't just about covering your face."
He suddenly heard Shen Ti say.
"What is that?" An Wujiu turned his face and looked at him.
"That mask doesn't belong to me." Shen Ti lowered his eyes, "It belonged to a kid. I helped him in the game, and he gave me a mask. Actually, I don't like that mask, and I never thought of helping him." He, it was just a whim, but he was very happy, thanked me, and told me that if he survived, he would take me to see other masks he made."
"That's the first person I interacted with in the game, because I'm too lonely and weird, I'm afraid only ignorant children are willing to be my company." Shen Ti said, smiling lightly, "But he didn't come out of that inning alive."
An Wujiu didn't expect that the mask was something Shen Ti got after meeting someone for the first time.
Shen Ti raised his eyes and looked at An Wujiu, "It's not the child's death that irritates me the most, but facing his death, I don't feel it."
He couldn't describe the emptiness to An Wugui, the feeling of not being able to feel anything or any emotion.
"I realized that I am a very, very strange person." Shen Ti said softly, "I knew that if I were another person, I would feel sad, at least for a while. So I put on the mask he gave me, Pretend you're remembering, too."
An Wujiu finally understood why Shen Ti hated living so much.
How can a person who can't feel anything love this world.
"I'm sorry, I also chopped up the mask."
Hearing An Wujiu's apology, Shen Ti laughed, "It's okay, when the mask cracked, I suddenly realized... In fact, I should face it."
"and… "
Shen Ti was not sure if saying this would make An Wujiu feel pressured, or make him doubt whether it was true or not, but it was true. He told many lies, but he never lied to An Wujiu.
"You are different from everyone else, and I can feel you. I can feel your happiness, sadness, and pain."
The pupils of his eyes looked crystal clear, and they looked extremely sincere in the warm light.
"I don't need to imitate this, as if I was born with it."
An Wujiu's nose was a little sore.
Weird people really have to be saved by weird people.
"I know."
He understands Shen Ti's weirdness, and understands that sometimes he is actually like an unweded child who doesn't understand anything, but in order to fit in with the group, he has to pretend to understand, and as time goes on, he lives in contradictions.
Become both ignorant and sophisticated.
Perhaps Shen Ti will have an instinctive side only when facing himself.
The lights of this city are never extinguished at night, even more prosperous than the daytime. The neon lights shine through the glass, illuminating everyone's dreams incomparably loudly.
An Wujiu lay quietly in Shen Ti's arms, with his back against his warm chest, feeling a sense of security that she had never had before. It was clear that this place was safe, but he still couldn't fall asleep smoothly. As soon as he closed his eyes, all the dangers that had endangered them all appeared in front of his eyes, as if he had to experience it all over again.
So An Wujiu could only keep his eyes open, looking at the white wall without focus.
He tried to speak softly to Shen Ti, saying that he wanted to find his sister, whether she was alive or not, he would find her, this might be his only relative.
He also said to Shen Ti that the closed mental hospital can be investigated, and the metal skeleton on his body should have more room for investigation.
After saying this, An Wujiu also told himself in his heart that he couldn't accept the fate of being manipulated by man, and his muddled memory, he must find the original and most complete self.
Shen Ti hugged him, breathing very steadily, after confirming that he was fast asleep, An Wujiu turned around lightly, Shen Ti hugged him too tightly, it took him a lot of effort to face Shen Ti.
The strange light from the floor-to-ceiling windows fell on Shen Ti's face, An Wujiu stretched out his finger, with the fingertips at a distance of a few millimeters, he traced Shen Ti's facial features and outline.
He hoped this person would not leave.
But if hope had to be shattered, An Wujiu wanted to leave himself, not Shen Ti, nor anyone he cared about.
Shen Ti fell into a deep sleep, and he rarely slept like this in his memory.
His arms were empty, and he who was still sleepy suddenly woke up and sat up.
He was alone on the bed.
Shen Ti's heart suddenly jumped up quickly, and he was about to throw off the quilt and get out of bed, but found something on the low table beside the bed.
Looking back, it turned out to be his mask that was broken in half.
This was beyond Shen Ti's expectation, he stretched out his hand and picked up the mask, it was split in two at first, but now it is glued together, but the traces of glue are very clumsy.
Why does he keep this? It's completely useless to him.
Could it be that after the duel was over, he himself returned to the duel threshold and put the mask back into the game panel
Just wondering, the door beeped and opened from the outside.
An Wujiu at the door bumped into Shen Ti who was sitting up, and was taken aback, "Are you awake?"
Shen Ti blinked, and shook his hand holding the mask at him.
"I... I haven't glued it yet, you put it down first."