"I can tell you a chronological story, but I don't even remember the time of some things. How about this... Just ask whatever you want to hear, and I'll answer whatever I can." Zhou Qichen said.
Lang Feng touched Zhou Qichen's beer bottle with his, as if he was toasting, and then said, "Then I have a question."
Zhou Qichen hummed. He was feeling a lot of anxiety and uneasiness in his heart, after all, the result of his last confession was really bleak. But Lang Feng was so good and he was so honest with him, it was not right for him to keep silent or use other second-rate excuses to evade him. It had come to this point, he had no choice but to tell the truth, and if he said less, he would be sorry for Lang Feng who had disrupted all his plans overnight to travel from Zurich to Beijing for 12 hours.
The first thing Lang Feng asked him was: "Have you ever been in love?"
Good man, a strong dose of medicine right at the beginning. Zhou Qichen almost choked on the soda. He looked up and saw that the clock in the ward had just reached eight o'clock in the morning. He had not left the house for a week and was almost living a life of day and night reversed. But at this strange time, there was no night to set off the atmosphere. Lang Feng was sitting in front of him, with a row of six bottles of beer, listening attentively. Only sincerity can exchange for true meaning, so he could only speak seriously.
"I've loved two people unilaterally, one was a straight man, and the other was someone who didn't know how to love," Zhou Qichen laughed as he spoke. "The first one was my comrade in the army, and he was also my first love in the true sense. I joined the army when I was 19, and met him when I was 21. He was my senior, also a carrier-based aircraft pilot, and later became a landing commander. He always directed my landings."
This is simple to say, but the emotions behind it are complicated. Zhou Qichen felt that his love for Bai Ziyu was the highest level of violation of discipline, which was not allowed, impossible, and impractical. But from another perspective, his love for Bai Ziyu was so easy to explain, it was simply natural. Bai Ziyu was a senior and the person who assisted him in landing. He admired him, relied on him, and mixed with love. It was not an exaggeration to describe him as "complex". On one side was unreasonable, and on the other side was reasonable. In the long eight years that followed, he gradually learned to coexist with this extreme sense of guilt and tearing. When pain became a breath, the first greeting after waking up every day and the last call sign in the channel before landing, pain became a habit and no longer hurt. In the next few years, he also rationally knew that his feelings for Bai Ziyu were a kind of reliance he sought after leaving his family to join the army at a very young age, and a projection of his pursuit of his true self in the ups and downs of the ocean. He also knew that since he was selected to join the army at the age of 18, he actually had no chance to see anyone else, so he fell in love with his comrades who he spent every day with. But it was not easy for him, who could not even openly say his sexual orientation, to internalize and dissolve this feeling. He couldn't even cry and wave goodbye to Bai Ziyu. He knew very well that he was in a dilemma, but he had already fallen in love and couldn't get out of it.
He slowly talked about his emotions at that time, and finally said: "You can imagine... an aircraft carrier is the largest warship in the world, but after living on it for two months, you will know it well. An aircraft carrier is actually very small, and you can't see anything outside. So when I saw him at that time, he was like the whole world in my heart."