Lin Xiaotian fried a few random dishes, the appearance was not good and the taste was mediocre, he sat at the dining table with a drooling dog, and Gu Yan and Jian Jie didn't come out after waiting for more than half an hour.
"Good dog, you go and ask them to eat." Lin Xiaotian said to Yuan Bao, and in a blink of an eye, seeing Yuan Bao, a silly dog, was about to go to the table, he was so angry that his chest and back hurt.
It's not that he didn't want to go, but just now there was a "jingle bell and palm nut" in the room, and there was a quarrel between two people who could fight immediately, and then there was no sound, everyone can think of what happened.
I don't know if the phrase "speak softly" he just said made Jane restrained.
As an old father who loves his son and takes care of everything, Lin Xiaotian expressed his heart tired.
But the son is not worried.
Seeing that the food was getting cold and the night was falling, Lin Xiaotian hesitated again and again and went to the door of the guest room with his slippers on. He put his ears on the door like a thief, and listened quietly for a while.
There was no sound from inside the door.
With a puzzled look on his face, Lin Xiaotian was about to push the door to go in, but the door was opened from the inside with a 'click', and Gu Yan's expressionless face was immediately revealed.
Lin Xiaotian covered his mouth and jumped back: "Oh shit!"
Gu Yan gently closed the door, signaling Lin Xiaotian to go out first.
"Where's Jane?"
"Sleeping."
"..." Lin Xiaotian curled his lips, and unconsciously looked at the corner of Gu Yan's mouth: "Ah, let's eat first."
"I'm going back."
Gu Yan didn't intend to stay, walked to the living room and took the birdcage in his hands, and grabbed the parrot out of the kennel.
"What's the situation!" Lin Xiaotian was a little anxious, and held Gu Yan's arm with one hand: "How do you leave in the middle of the night? It's okay to stay here."
"Xiaotian..." Gu Yan looked at the current posture, turned his head and said helplessly: "Thank you, but I hope to stop here."
"What bullshit."
Lin Xiaotian's head was on fire, seeing Gu Yan's refusal to be thousands of miles away, he felt his chest was about to explode: "I, Lin Xiaotian, have no right to control you, do I?"
"That's not what I meant." Gu Yan smiled, and he no longer had the strength to explain to Lin Xiaotian too much: "You are the one who knows my situation best, and you should be the one who understands me best. You clearly know that I don't want to involve Jane. Come in."
"It's easy for you to say!" Lin Xiaotian gasped amusedly: "What is involvement? Back then, it was just the two of you, no one else spread rumors, no fucking Jane came over to put pressure on you, no bastard Liang Qi Grandson, you will not be like this now! Some things are not something you can bear! Then have you considered me? What about Jane? You pushed him so far away and you said it was for his own good. What about you? What about Auntie? "
"It's over." Gu Yan said.
"I can't make it through." Lin Xiaotian let go of Gu Yan's arm, and said in a firm tone: "In my heart, Lin Xiaotian, I just can't make it through! If you still can't control yourself now and then, it means that you still can't make it through in your heart!"
Gu Yan was not talking, he carried the bird cage and put his bag on his back, and walked to the entrance without looking back.
After changing the shoes, Lin Xiaotian didn't catch up.
There seems to be a crack in the relationship between the two people, it is helplessness, incomprehension, and guilt.
"I'm leaving." Gu Yan opened the door.
"Gu Yan, it doesn't matter who spread the rumor back then, it doesn't matter who got you in, but you keep locking yourself up, none of us can get in your heart, so you have to push us all away, right?"
After a long time, Gu Yan sighed, and finally went out with the parrot.
An apology was accompanied by the sound of closing the door, leaving behind Lin Xiaotian's face full of astonishment and loss.
—
Gu Yan went out the door, and the cold wind knife seemed to blow. Within a few seconds, his face became stiff, his ears hurt, and his nose also felt a little sore.
Walking out of Lin Xiaotian's house, it takes more than half an hour to walk to the nearest subway station. It's getting late now, and the shuttle bus to the subway station has also stopped.
Gu Yan buried his head and walked forward, holding the birdcage in his arms.
The parrot yelled a few times, but Gu Yan didn't respond.
An indescribable emotion slammed left and right in his chest, not lonely but better than lonely, he knew that this time there would be no one behind him, he pushed Lin Xiaotian away stubbornly and arrogantly, feeling inexplicably pleased.
From a long time ago, Gu Yan was used to dividing his safety zone in his dilapidated hut. He could accept Lin Xiaotian to come in, but he was afraid to go out.
The outside world is changing day by day, but I stopped in place at that moment ten years ago.
He is an insignificant speck of dust in this world, a lamp that does not shine by itself in the midst of thousands of prosperity. When he walks on the road, many people pass by him but do not know who he is at all. He holds a junior high school diploma, The age on the ID card is gradually increasing, and the stain on the personnel file that can never be removed, everything makes Gu Yan restless.
He is not a heart disease, he is too real.
He has been unwilling to let Lin Xiaotian find Jian Jie, and he is unwilling to bring up the previous matter again, not because of heart disease.
But only he himself understands.
Hold everything in your hands, and there will be a day when you lose it.
He didn't want to repeat the same mistakes and had to let go for some reason.
Whether it's Lin Xiaotian or Jian Jie, Gu Yan doesn't want to lose again.
The constant fear and fear dominated his brain, making him never get a good night's sleep.
It is better not to have it in the first place than to lose it.
Gu Yan wrapped up his coat, covered with the cold wind, and walked into the night step by step with heavy steps.
Lin Xiaotian, who chased him out, was only wearing a thin pajamas, holding the car keys in his hand, his knuckles turned white from the cold.
After just a few steps, he suddenly lacked the courage to catch up.
—
Lin Xiaotian was not in a good mood when he entered the room, and was a little surprised when he saw Jane Jie.
Sitting at the dining table, Jian Jie was handing the half-eaten bone of the chicken leg to Yuan Bao, when she saw Lin Xiaotian coming in, she didn't say anything, and continued to eat with her head down.
Old Lin's father sighed heavily: "After serving him, he will serve you."
"It's hard work, Dad." Jane said.
"Aren't you asleep?" Lin Xiaotian sneezed tremblingly, and entered the room barefoot.
"Um."
"... Did you hear everything?" Lin Xiaotian sat across from Jane Jie.
"The sound was quite loud, and I woke up when I heard it." Jane continued to eat.
"Both have problems, what on earth are you two thinking?" Lin Xiaotian rolled his eyes.
Jian Jie paused while eating, and then said calmly: "He needs time and space, and it's even more uncomfortable for him to be pushed too hard."
"Now Gu Yan even pushes me aside, you're not in the room with him... Forget it, think I'm messing around."
"Do you have Lao Xie's phone number?" Jane Jie took a bite of rice.
Yuan Bao pursed his lips, resting his front legs on the dining table.
Lin Xiaotian threw a piece of meat over, shook his head and said, "The number has been changed. The year Gu Yan came out, I called to wish him New Year's greetings. By the way, I found out that his number has long since been used."
Jane nodded thoughtfully.
"Why?" Lin Xiaotian asked casually.
"There are some things I want to figure out..." Jian Jie said while eating, "Do you still remember Zhang Jie?"
"Zhang Jie?" Lin Xiaotian paused while holding the chopsticks, thinking for a while: "I really don't have any impression..."
"Sit between me and Gu Yan."
"Little fat man?" Lin Xiaotian raised his eyebrows.
Jian Jie was noncommittal: "He transferred before I transferred, right? He was also bullied by Liang Qi for a short time before, and Gu Yan stood up for him once."
"I can ask... But then again, what's the matter with you and Jia Bei?" Lin Xiaotian frowned, not wanting to eat, took out a cigarette from the table and put it in his mouth, Passed the cigarette case to Jane: "When did you two get together? Do you really want to get married?"
"No." Jian Jie took the cigarette case and said firmly.
"Do you fucking know how I felt in the group when I saw you saying you were going to get married?" Lin Xiaotian pointed at Yuanbao: "It's like fucking eating shit."
Yuan Baogou's expression was dazed, and he didn't know why.
"Has Gu Yan visited a doctor?" Jian Jie took a deep breath, enjoying the bitter smell of smoke.
"I took him there before, but he didn't cooperate." Lin Xiaotian sighed: "It's not that he didn't cooperate, it's just that it's useless at all... It costs 800 yuan to sit there and teach for half an hour, and it's a waste of time if it's useless. ... One-on-one for super VIPs, five courses of treatment are guaranteed to be effective, just the private psychological clinic on the commercial street."
"Lots of stress, insomnia, these minor ailments are basically resolved immediately. Gu Yan's long-term psychological problems, including the life in the house in the past few years, are deeply ingrained and difficult to get rid of in his heart, so the ones you are looking for The psychiatrist is only theoretically providing temporary guidance, you have to hear the person who needs to tie the bell to untie the bell, right?" Jane shook the ashes into the ashtray.
"You." Lin Xiaotian raised his chin: "You are the one who tied the bell."
"So, let me explain." Jian Jie was not polite, and spread his palms to Lin Xiaotian: "Father, I just want to take care of the meal."
"Get out." Lin Xiaotian bent his foot and stepped on the stool, and said with a more serious expression: "Gu Yan's situation is too obvious, and there is another point, that is his life, he lives in that dilapidated house every day , I was exhausted from work last time, and I haven’t seen my parents since I came out, and it will be a few days before the Chinese New Year, so he won’t even go if I ask him to go... …”
"I won't go back during Chinese New Year."
"What the hell?" Lin Xiaotian looked Jian Jie up and down: "Aren't you going back for such an important day?"
"It's broken." Jian Jie dimmed the cigarette butt, and then added: "It's broken with my mother."
Lin Xiaotian opened his mouth in shock, but he didn't realize the meaning of Gu Yan's words for a while: "What do you mean...broken?"
"The kind that only needs one proof."
Jian Jie didn't explain too much, and thought of something, he took out a card from his wallet: "There are 200,000 in it, Gu Yan has been doing odd jobs and can't solve the problem, I want to find a shop to open a small card for him." shop."
"Don't worry about it." Lin Xiaotian pushed the card back: "I share the shares with him in the guild hall, and he doesn't need the money that I usually pay him. To put it bluntly, he doesn't even want to stay here for more. If you give me the money Think he will?"
Jane was silent.
"But..." Lin Xiaotian turned a corner in his words.
"What?"
"Buy him a vocational high school certificate, and enroll him in a self-study college?" Lin Xiaotian clapped his hands: "Smart."
Jian Jie didn't refute, and thought over Lin Xiaotian's words carefully.
The author has something to say: Thank you for the article.
ps: Next door Xiuxian Gudan "The First Peace in Troubled Times" please collect it.