Lin Xiaotian's words are like a finely ground and sharpened needle, not fatal, but every time it is pierced, it is an invisible small hole, bleeding beads flow, gathering into sadness.
Eating chicken in his mouth was like chewing wax, Gu Yan took a few symbolic mouthfuls, and then nestled back on the bed.
"I'm not talking nonsense, Gu Yan, why do people live? For money, for profit, for family and yourself, look at your current appearance, I really don't know how to persuade you, you know me, I don't want to talk nonsense , if you really don’t want to see Jane, I’ll find a way to send you to the neighboring city. There will be a day when we meet in a bigger place like Zhongshi. There are so many things you don’t want him to know. Sooner or later, he will know. , why do you do this?" Lin Xiaotian simply crossed his legs and continued to speak earnestly: "Either we should simply go to see him quickly, the past is the past, if we don't want to mention it, it's not a big deal Enemy, there is no need to go to great lengths to make a fool of yourself."
Gu Yan lit a cigarette and handed the lighter to Lin Xiaotian. In the dimly lit room, his thoughts had drifted out of the window.
The weather has been bad recently, it's either windy or rainy, the cold winter has no trace of human touch, Gu Yan's heartbeat is flat, and he didn't shake at all because of Lin Xiaotian's words.
"But..." Lin Xiaotian raised the corners of his mouth in melancholy, and took the lighter: "Jane is starting to smoke now, and I guess he is addicted to smoking. After a few minutes of work, I didn't hold the lighter, so I will give it to him." When I saw his hands shaking, just smoking is a spiritual addiction, harder to quit than love."
"When did you get so deep?" Gu Yan smiled.
"Do you still think that I am a touch of green among thousands of flowers?" Lin Xiaotian leaned back against the wall a little tiredly, smoking leisurely, and said: "The prodigal son still has time to turn around."
Lin Langzi said that his face was neither red nor his heart was beating, and Gu Yan did not speak again.
"No, I said so much, did you hear the main point?" Lin Xiaotian was helpless.
What should be said, what should be persuaded, all available tricks have been exhausted, only Gu Yan, the person involved, is still superior.
"heard it."
"Give me a response? Ok?"
"Xiaotian." Gu Yan sighed, and through the smoke from the two of them, he said slowly and steadily: "It's not that I don't want to, I'm not the Gu Yan of ten years ago, neither is Jane, and neither are you." , some things have already happened and become a foregone conclusion, so it is impossible to change anything, Jane and I are already two people on two roads, there will be no intersection, what will happen when we meet again? What can be changed? If there is Meaning, it is possible that I will not miss the opportunity according to my personality, but it is meaningless, Xiaotian, do you understand? When Liang Biao came to me ten years ago, everything was different."
Lin Xiaotian was silent, the cigarette between his fingers had burned to the end of the cigarette, but he didn't know it.
It seemed that the atmosphere was too depressing, Lin Xiaotian extinguished the cigarette, and smiled calmly: "Fucking grandson Liang Biao."
"I don't hate him." Gu Yan let go of everything.
"I'm listening to you." Lin Xiaotian grabbed his handbag, stood up and turned his back to Gu Yan: "Jian Jie asked about Auntie, you... go to see it when you have time, but I haven't seen you for the last time." , you don't regret it?"
Gu Yan closed his eyes and hummed.
—
Jane Jie parked the car at the entrance of the corridor of Jia Bei's house, turned on the lights, took out a cigarette from his pocket, and just put it in his mouth, he was dragged by the co-pilot Jia Bei.
The atmosphere in the car was very depressing, accompanied by the faint smell of alcohol, so Jane had to open the window to get some air.
"Jane Jie, what exactly do you mean?" Jia Bei gritted his back teeth with reddened eyes, "Are you still going to get married?"
"Then it's over." Jian Jie turned his head and met Jia Bei's eyes.
Jia Bei was stunned for a moment, and the alcohol had dissipated a lot.
"Jane Jie, can you say it again?" Jia Bei clenched his hands into fists, tears streaming down his face.
"You go up first, calm down." Jane took out another cigarette.
Enraged by Jane Jie's casual attitude, he lost his mind, Jia Bei threw the cigarette he snatched away to Jane Jie, and for the first time in hysterics, he didn't pay attention to his own image: "Are you still a man! Jane, Do you think I don't know about those things between you and Gu Yan?"
"I don't want to be noisy."
"It's all over, and you are the only one who is obsessed with it. Gu Yan should let go of what happened ten years ago. Why are you still unable to let go, Jian Jie?" Jia Bei slumped the back of his seat angrily: "People Each has his own destiny, you haven't found Gu Yan for ten years, if he's not avoiding you, what else could be the reason? Is it difficult to live your own life like a normal person?"
Jia Bei's words were harsh and realistic, and he was silent for a long time. After Jian Jie had finished smoking a cigarette, he realized that his hands were shaking all the time.
"Get out of the car." Jian Jie dimmed the cigarette butt.
Jabe couldn't believe it.
"Jane Jie!"
"I'm tired."
Through the rearview mirror, Jane glanced casually. Jia Bei, who was driven out of the car by him, was embarrassed and helpless. He stood there and 'watched' him in a daze. do.
He really couldn't let it go. Ten years ago, everything was on a smooth and visible road, but the news that broke out spread in the school at the speed of light. He and Gu Yan were labeled as gay, and became the number one person in the school overnight. .
Crazy opposition, hysterical parents, and the class teacher who called him to talk, he and Gu Yan seemed to have committed a crime against the heavens, and the sins could not be cleared even if they were skinned and cramped.
Where did he and Gu Yan go wrong
He just said goodbye normally, but rushed to things the next day. He was forced to leave the school by Jane's father and mother, and followed him almost inseparably for more than half a year. Has disappeared in the youthful campus.
He and Gu Yan didn't even say their final farewell, just like that ten years passed by.
Time passed, and the past came to mind, Jian Jie parked the car on the side of the road, feeling a tight pain in his chest.
He thought today was an opportunity, so he went to that disgusting class gathering with Jia Bei. Looking at the classmates who laughed at and disdained at the time, now they have forgotten the harm they did to others, and talked about it Life, raising children, Jane hates it from the bottom of her heart.
He just wanted to find out where Gu Yan was. He buried hope and expectation in his heart, but also fear and retreat.
He was afraid that Gu Yan didn't want to see him.
—
Upstairs, Jane's mother was nestled on the sofa in the living room, her legs were covered with a thin layer of velvet blanket, and she was watching TV drowsily.
Hearing the movement, he turned his head and became more sober: "Are you back?"
Jian Jie stood not far from Jane's mother, staring at the woman who was about to become a little old lady through the dim and dazzling light, and couldn't remember what she brought with her when she confronted Gu Yan at school Such an expression.
"Why don't you talk when you're standing there stupidly?" Jian's mother kicked off the blanket and sighed leisurely: "Your father has gone out to buy food, I don't know if he's getting old, he has a bad stomach recently, he's always hungry in the middle of the night, and I'm too lazy to do it, didn't you eat much? Didn't drink a bar. "
"Mom." Jane called out.
Jian's mother turned her face away, with doubts: "What's wrong with you? This is, you have a bad complexion, did you quarrel with Beibei?"
"I don't want to get married." Jane said calmly, "I'm not getting married anymore."
Jian's mother seemed to have been struck by lightning, her eyes widened and her mouth opened, she raised her hand and pointed at Jian Jie but couldn't say a word for a long time.
The door was pushed open from the outside, and Father Jian entered the room with two bags in his air-conditioned body, and he reacted too slowly to realize that the atmosphere in the room was not right.
"I bought some fried rice, Jane? You're back."
"Jian Guoxiang, your son is crazy!"
Mother Jian roared sharply, patting her thighs anxiously with both hands, the ants on the hot pot couldn't even react.
"Jane Jie, are you making your mother angry again?" Jane's father asked.
"He said he's not getting married anymore! He's not getting married! How can he not be married? If you miss a good girl like Beibei, you won't be able to find it. Jane Jie, you bastard, you want to piss me off!" Jane's mother Beating his chest and stamping his feet, his face turned red, like a lioness who was overly frightened, and would rush up to bite someone in the next second.
I can't remember the reason for the last time Jane's mother looked like this, but Jane can tell that Jane's mother has the heart to eat it now.
Jian's father turned pale with shock, compared to Jian's mother's hoarse voice, trying to grasp a sliver of reason from the shock, he asked angrily, "Why on earth!"
"I just don't want to end it." Jian Jie didn't show much emotion.
Jian's mother rushed over and waved her hand violently: "It must be tied!"
Jian Jie's cheeks were burning hot, and even her eardrums were buzzing.
This voice is both familiar and unfamiliar. It overlaps with the chirping from the tree next to him when he saw Gu Yan on the second day of the first year of high school. He should have completed his studies step by step. One more person came out that day.
The man taught him freedom, gave him joy, even told him that love has another form.
Jane Jie lowered his head, and Jian's father and mother, who were opposed to him, were also silenced by the applause.
"Do you...do you still like men!" Jane's mother was very cautious in her fury, for fear of hearing any more explosive answers from Jane Jie's words.
"Yes." Jane said.
"Unfilial son!"
Jian's father on the side also turned cold, and bent over to pick up the mop, as if he was about to hit him.
"Jian Guoxiang, you are going to beat him to death!" Jian's mother stood in front of Jian Jie.
The mess at home became a mess, and Jian Jie was so light-headed that he was about to explode. The anger hidden in his heart for a long time was mixed with resistance, and he yelled: "Why, why never think about me!"
"I didn't kill or prevent fire, where did I go wrong?"
"Is it wrong to like men? That's just the conclusion of your pedantic thinking. I can't get this marriage."
"I've only ever liked one person. He's a man named Gu Yan. You've seen it before."
The last sentence, after Jian Jie finished speaking, he only felt a lot lighter. It seemed that since he and Gu Yan had an affair, he had never told Gu Yan about it directly. ,break.
In the hurt and resentful expressions of Jane's father and mother, Jian Jie picked up the car keys and walked out of the house without looking back.
It is ironic that the rebellion ten years ago is only done today.
The author has something to say: emmmm, the author slapped me in the face.
Really make sure they meet next chapter.
The previous small foreshadowing is a bit too much, so I reversed the outline of the two chapters, mainly to express the feelings of the two protagonists clearly.
The abuse of falling in love and killing each other is cool hahaha.