Xue Xue was startled.
Su Xiangnan did not know when to raise an arm to cover his face.
Although he couldn't see his expression, Xue Xue could feel his emotions.
That can't be summed up with the simple word "depression".
Like a plant that has lost sunlight and nutrients, Su Xiangnan is withering at a speed visible to the naked eye.
Xue Xue held his hand tightly, hoping to pass on his power to him, even if it was insignificant.
"I knew that such a day would come, and I've been mentally preparing myself." The voice was vague, the bloodless lips were shaking, and every word Su Xiangnan uttered seemed to be squeezed out between his teeth. "But when the day did come, I found out..."
There is simply no time to be ready.
Su Xiangnan didn't say this, but Xue Xue guessed it.
Before birth, old age, sickness and death, human beings appear small and powerless.
"My mother...she finally left me a letter."
letter? Xue Xue understands what it means to come here.
Surin was prepared to face his own death.
"She wants me to live a good life in the future, forget everything in the past, don't blame others, and don't blame the unfairness of fate. She will make such a decision to reconcile with herself and has nothing to do with others." Su Xiangnan The speed of his speech was getting faster and lighter, and his voice was getting softer and softer, until later he didn't know whether he was talking to Xue Xue or muttering to himself. "Because I've become an adult who can take care of herself, she can finally leave with peace of mind... hehe."
With a low laugh, he said how hurt and helpless the person who was left behind was.
However, time cannot be reversed, nor can the written ending be changed.
"Su Xiangnan, aunt... Your mother she... This may be a relief for her."
It hurts to say this, but seeing Su Xiangnan's dejected appearance, Xue Xue realized that maybe it would be best for him to talk about it.
"Don't think that she left you behind. Think about it from another angle. Auntie just accompanies you in a different way."
"Really?" The sharp tone made Xue Xue stunned. "Actually, it's just an excuse, right? It's just an excuse to comfort me."
When the words fell, Su Xiangnan put down his arm and turned his head sharply to look at Xue Xue.
The dark pupils ooze the slightest chill.
"My mother always felt that she was dragging me down, but didn't I drag her down too?" Su Xiangnan's tone was very aggressive. Except for the beginning of acquaintance, the impression of such Su Xiangnan in Xue Xue's memory was already very weak. "You know that too, right? If it wasn't for me, she might not have hoped to enter the Lin's house, and then we were kicked out... If it wasn't for a fuel bottle, maybe she would have a new family now, new life."
"It's all because of me that I'm holding her back, making her trapped in Lin Youfeng's shadow for the rest of her life, unable to get out."
This seems to be the first time Su Xiangnan mentioned Lin Youfeng.
His nominal biological father, a man who only gave him a short time of fatherly love in childhood but never admitted him.
The appearance of this name made Xue Xue understand how much damage Su Lin's death had brought to Su Xiangnan.
"It's not like that." She said, interrupting Su Xiangnan's self-loathing. "Your parents' business is your parents' business, and it has nothing to do with you."
"Auntie will give birth to you, that's her decision, a decision she made willingly without being forced." Seeing that Su Xiangnan wanted to move, Xue Xue held him even harder. "You can't deny this because of what happened later, Su Xiangnan."
"Life is a dynamic development, and a small change of thought in the process may lead to completely different results, but what you experience and feel at every moment is also a real, indelible existence."
"Didn't my aunt tell you all the time that she doesn't regret giving birth to you?"
"Indeed, without you, she might have another life, but is this kind of life a good one?" Su Xiangnan's expression was blank and absent-minded, but Xue Xue knew that he was listening to himself. "You are Su Xiangnan, not Su Lin. You can have your own thoughts and feelings, but that can't represent Su Lin, understand?"
Su Xiangnan didn't answer.
Xue Xue knew that he understood, it just took a little time to accept the reality.
Although I'm not sure if it would be prudent to bring this up now, Xue Xue's thoughts have been shaken.
She felt that perhaps Su Xiangnan should divert his attention and use a more decisive way to break the shackles placed on him by his biological parents.
"I want to tell you something." After adjusting Su Xiangnan's slightly crooked mask, Xue Xue's voice was gentle. "I just discussed it with Sister Chen. Maybe now is not a good time... But I think you should buy more time to think about it."
Xue Xue smiled slightly at Shang Su Xiangnan's distracted gaze.
"Now, just listen to me."
As Xue Xue expected, Su Xiangnan did not agree with what she and Chen Rong did.
At the same time, although the boy did not protest violently, he looked at her with a very disappointed look, as if he was questioning how Xue Xue could have such an idea.
Human nature.
On the way from the hospital to accompany Su Xiangnan home, the two did not have any communication.
"Su Xiangnan, I know you're uncomfortable."
When Su Xiangnan inserted the key into the door hole and held the handle to turn it away, Xue Xue finally spoke.
She stared at the boy who hid his entire face under the brim of his hat, and said to him in a very calm tone: "However, when people are alive, no matter how hard things are, they must survive, in order to live up to the wishes and wishes of those who love them. ... a last wish."
Hearing this, Su Xiangnan's body became stiff.