She sighed softly and said to me, "I'm going to Beijing to learn painting." I blinked and looked at her, still a little bit unconvinced. I opened my mouth but didn't know what to say for a long time. I just felt my mouth was very dry. I swallowed hard a few times and then frowned and asked her in confusion, "Why do you have to go to Beijing to study? Can't you study here?"
Bai Lu lowered her head even lower, and it seemed that she could only see her toes. She whispered to me, “Actually, my family had already found a teacher for me there, but I kept putting it off. Although I knew that learning painting from them would be very helpful for my future, but...
When she said this, she suddenly stopped, lowered her head and gently bit her thin lips, and I also lowered my head subconsciously, looking at my hands that were bloody from the fight. The two of us stood there in silence for a short time, with only the sound of cars whizzing past on the road beside us. Bai Lu gently loosened her bitten lips, lowered her head and whispered to me, but I can't bear to leave here.
When I heard her words, I raised my head suddenly, stared at her with wide eyes, and shouted at her, "Then don't go. If you don't want to go there, don't force yourself. You have persisted for so long, why do you give up now? Why do you have to listen to your family and go to Beijing now?!"
But what I never expected was Bai Lu's next answer. She lowered her head and said in a firm tone, "Because this time it was my own decision to go."
Her words hit me like a bolt from the blue, making me completely lose all the strength to resist. It seemed that I could only stand there and accept her decision. I didn't even have the courage to ask her why, because I was just a person who didn't want to have any close relationship with her, a person who only wanted to be friends with her. What right did I have to interfere with the trajectory of her life
I stood there motionless, the wind on the roadside gently blew her long hair, reminding me of the hairpin she used to wear, the pink hairpin that she only wore once on her birthday.
I remember that was when we went to school together every day. That morning, I was waiting for her at the intersection as usual. When she appeared in front of me with her schoolbag on her back as usual, she had a beautiful pink hairpin on her head. At that time, I couldn't help but look at the pink hairpin on her head with my mouth wide open, because her parents were traditional soldiers, and they usually dressed her in a very traditional way. She had never worn those beautiful things on her head like other girls. That was the first time she appeared in front of me with a hairpin on her head. Although she was still wearing her usual white dress that day, she was really beautiful that day. Because of the pink hairpin on her head, she seemed to be cheerful all of a sudden. She found that I was staring at the pink hairpin on her head and was stunned. She couldn't help looking at me with her big eyes and said, "Does it look good?" I nodded with my mouth open like a little fool, and then wiped the snot on my nose with my hand and said, "It looks good!"
She smiled happily at me, then gently touched the hairpin on her head with her hand, trying to adjust it, but I stopped her immediately. I raised my head, stared at the hairpin on her head with wide eyes and said, "Don't move. It looks best when you wear it tilted like this!"
Her face immediately blushed, she nodded gently and carefully put down her hand, afraid of damaging the position of the hairpin. Seeing that she didn't move the hairpin, I turned around and walked carelessly in front of her, saying, "You look really beautiful today."
In fact, when I was a child, I didn’t know where to pin a girl’s hairpin to look good. It was just because that day was the first time I saw her wearing a hairpin, and people always think that things are the most beautiful when they are seen for the first time, just like first love.
The little me at that time just wanted to keep the image of her wearing the hairpin in my heart as I saw her for the first time. Although I didn't understand the saying "If only life could be as it was when we first met" at that time, the image of her wearing that pink hairpin for the first time remained in my heart forever and could not be erased no matter what kind of eraser I used.
But she who usually follows me around came up to me that day and told me that my mom never buys me these things. This is because it’s my birthday today and my grandma bought them for me. Mom only let me wear them for one day and I won’t let her wear them tomorrow! I also think they look great! This is my favorite birthday gift, much better than the ones my mom and dad bought for me!
She rarely ran up to me and spoke to me, but I just kept my head down and didn't want to say a word. At that time, my grandfather was hospitalized due to illness. In addition to work, they had to go to the hospital to take care of my grandfather. Sometimes they even forgot my birthday, let alone my birthday present. At most, it was a small piece of cake my mother bought me for dinner. At that time, although I also wanted the remote control racing car that other boys had, I was not a good student at that time, and it was impossible for me to get the final exam reward like other children. I could only hope for my birthday.
But my parents were so busy at that time that they sometimes didn’t even have time to eat because they had to go to the hospital to take care of my grandfather. Moreover, all the money in the family was used for my grandfather’s medical treatment. How could they buy me those things that were the most useless in the eyes of adults? It was impossible for me, who was the most sensible in the eyes of all the adults in the family, to make such a request. When I was a child, I was not tall, did not study well, and had almost no advantages. Being sensible was the only thing about me that I could be praised by adults, so I never made any requests like birthday gifts.
Of course, no one would think that a sensible child like me would need a birthday present, so when I heard her constantly talking in my ear about who bought her what kind of birthday present, I just lowered my head and walked forward without saying a word. But when she told me that someone bought her a remote control racing car, she knew that I had always liked it because I always mentioned it casually, and she was about to invite me to her house to play it with her, I finally couldn't help it, stopped, turned around and shouted at her loudly, I don't want to go!
At this time, I saw the pink hairpin on her head. I don't know why the hairpin, which was a birthday gift, didn't seem to be pinned on her head, but on my heart. I suddenly pointed at the hairpin on her head and said, "It's so ugly! You look like an ugly freak with it on! I don't want to play with ugly freaks!"
After I finished speaking, I turned around and ran forward with my schoolbag on my back. I didn't wait for her that day but arrived at school first by myself. Later, when she entered the classroom, I couldn't help but secretly glanced at her. She had become her usual self again, with just a few messy hairs on her head. The most beautiful pink hairpin was gone, and the confident and cheerful her in the morning also disappeared along with the pink hairpin. She became the introverted and talkative her again.
But we went home together again that night, and no one mentioned the hairpin. I walked in front again, telling the jokes I made up, and she followed me, listening attentively. When I looked back at her, she smiled gently. But from that day on, I never saw that pink hairpin again. I never even saw her wearing anything on her head again. At this moment, looking at her long hair gently blown by the wind, I really want to ask her, does she still remember that pink hairpin
But I didn't know how to say it, because I knew this girl had sacrificed too much for me, but at this moment I really wanted to see her wearing that pink hairpin again, just like I wanted to go back to the childhood when I was with her, which I could never go back to.