When Zhang Nuan said this, she took the lollipop out of her mouth, and the light in her eyes dimmed. She sighed softly and continued, one is our child, and the other is his only continuation in this world.
I really didn’t know what expression I should use to face Zhang Nuan. Damn, two high school students are going to have a baby. Even though her big stupid bear is going to die, I still can’t accept this. But I still blinked my eyes and thought for a while and asked her, didn’t you say that he didn’t even have the energy to send a text message, how could he have a baby with you...
Before I could finish, Zhang Nuan turned around and glared at me unhappily, then said, he was not so weak every day, he was energetic sometimes, and he was not yet on his deathbed at that time!
I nodded at what she said, but I was still skeptical in my heart about how a man at that point could still have a baby with a girl. But later I figured it out. If a person knows that he doesn't have much time left and wants to leave something in this world, he will definitely do it with all his might. Not to mention having a baby, which every man is willing to do, he would also do it if he could do it with a man as long as he could achieve his goal. Never ignore a person's ability to survive, and of course never ignore a person's last wish before he dies.
Zhang Nuan glared at me a few more times and then continued talking. But at that time, I had the same idea as you do now. I felt that it was simply a fantasy for me to have a child with him. Although if he asked me again now, I would definitely agree, but at that time I still shook my head, even though I liked him so much back then. But he didn't say anything, just that he always wanted to leave something for me. He thought I would like children and it would be nice to have a child to accompany me.
When Zhang Nuan said this, I couldn't help but interrupt her again, curling my lips and saying, "Is it easy for a high school student like you to raise a child by yourself in the future? Has he considered you?"
Zhang Nuan turned around and looked at me, smiled softly and said, I didn’t disagree right away, but when I went to see him the second time, he said just like you said, saying that his initial thoughts were too naive, and that he was too selfish and didn’t consider me, and then he never mentioned it again, but later...
Zhang Nuan stopped talking here, but she sounded a little anxious to me, so I asked her what happened next.
Zhang Nuan stared at the ground in a daze, and then said softly, "Later he was gone. Whenever I think of this, I always feel that I should have agreed to him at that time."
When I heard Zhang Nuan say this, I couldn't help but shake my head slightly, and silently muttered about this silly child in my heart, but I still didn't say anything. After all, it was already a thing of the past. No matter what Zhang Nuan thought, these were facts that would not change. What's more important now is what happened between her and Hong Gou. After all, Hong Gou is still alive, and he is always watching us in the dark corners, wanting to do something to us. He is the biggest threat to us. If I figure out the relationship between Zhang Nuan and Hong Gou, I can also find a way to deal with Hong Gou. Of course, the real thought in my heart is why Zhang Nuan did those things with Hong Gou. This matter is like a hurdle. If I don't know what happened, I feel that I will never be able to get over it. If I knew the reason why Zhang Nuan was with him, maybe I could let it go.
The two of them fell silent again, but after waiting for a while I couldn't help but ask her, "What about you and Red Dog..."
Zhang Nuan nodded and continued, "Well, I got together with him after Big Bear died. I didn't know what happened to me at the time. Anyway, in the days after Big Bear died, I felt like I was living in the clouds. I was floating all day long and had no interest in anything. Sometimes I would even subconsciously cross the road without looking at the cars. Maybe I had already had the idea of committing suicide to find my mother and Big Bear during that time. But strangely enough, at that time, Red Dog began to take care of me carefully every day and was very good to me."
When I heard this, I already had a rough guess in my mind. I thought that Hong Gou must have taken advantage of the death of Zhang Nuan's ex-boyfriend to sneak in. Now it seems to be the case. However, I did not interrupt Zhang Nuan and Zhang Nuan did not notice my expression of 'I see' and continued to talk.
Although I was absent-minded at that time, I still had feelings for him because he was so nice to me. He never said anything and I didn't ask. We both knew what he meant, but we never brought it up until one time I got into a fight with someone at school. Then that girl found a lot of people to block me outside the school after school. I left late that day and there were almost no people left in the school, so I was almost alone facing that group of people. But I didn't expect that he was waiting for me outside at this time. Then a group of people came up to beat him, but no matter what he said, they didn't let them touch me. Strangely enough, that was the first time I saw him take on so many people by himself. I had seen my big stupid bear so scary before. After those people beat me for a while, the teachers from the school came out and those people left quickly. Only then did he plop down on the ground and asked me to take him to the hospital.
I don't know why I started to be with him from that day on, although neither of us talked about being together, but we ate and went shopping together every day. I don't know if it was out of gratitude, or because he accompanied me during my lowest time. I think it was more because when I saw him standing in front of me to stop those people from touching me, his back looked like that of Big Stupid Bear, because they were always together before. When I saw him standing in front of me to help me fight that day, I felt that his back gradually overlapped with the Big Stupid Bear in my mind. You know that at that time I was always looking for the shadow of Big Stupid Bear, so I became particularly dependent on him. Of course, only his back looked like that of Big Stupid Bear, and everything else was completely different, but that back was enough for me at the time.
Later, when I was having dinner with him, I mentioned to him that Big Bear had said he wanted to have a child with me. I said if Big Bear asked me now, I would probably agree. Unexpectedly, he suddenly became excited and asked me with wide eyes, "What if he asked me?" I was a little dumbfounded at the time and didn't know how to answer him. I didn't know what was wrong with my brain at the time. Maybe it was because they had the same back view, so I nodded.
He took me to a hotel that night, but we stayed in the hotel all night and we didn't do it in the end because I just felt awkward and I felt that he was not a big fool, but he didn't blame me. But I couldn't hold it back that night. That night was the first time I helped him with my mouth.
Zhang Nuan stopped talking here, and her big eyes slowly dropped down as she looked at the lollipop in her hand. Looking at her like this, I felt so uncomfortable, because I thought she would feel relieved after saying these things, but looking at her now, I didn't feel relieved at all, as if she still couldn't let go of these things.
I don’t know what I can do to forget those ridiculous years I once had. Maybe this is the price of being young, maybe this is the bitterness of youth. It’s like you pour yourself a glass of wine. Although you have no idea what it tastes like, you will still raise the glass and drink it without hesitation. Only you know the bitterness in it. The name of this wine is growth.
But when I looked at the depressed girl next to me, I suddenly had other ideas to comfort her, so when I thought of this, I used the lollipop in my hand to hit the lollipop in her hand hard, which of course scared her and she almost dropped the lollipop on the ground.
She suddenly turned her head and stared at me with her big eyes, as if she didn't like me knocking her lollipop just now. But I ignored her and said to her with a focused look, have you always thought that as long as you say these things out you will feel relieved and your heart will never be troubled by these things again, but now that you have said it out you feel that it has not brought you the relief you wanted, you feel very desperate now, and feel that you may regret the wrong things you have done for the rest of your life, even if you are our most regretless Miss Zhang Nuan
At first, Zhang Nuan's eyes were still filled with anger, but as I continued speaking, the look in her eyes slowly turned into surprise, as if I had described word for word the depressed feeling in her heart. I saw her surprised look and couldn't help but smile gently, knowing that I had guessed right. Seeing her like this, I became more confident. I sniffed hard and then told her that no matter who you are, you will do some wrong things when you are young. Some people hurt others intentionally or unintentionally, and then realize it later, but it's too late, just like me.
However, some people do things when they are at their most depressed that they cannot accept later on. Then it is as if they are carrying a burden of punishment that they cannot get rid of for a long time, just like you.
But just like a blessing in disguise, sometimes you can't always look at these things in a holistic way. What you see now is always your past that is hard to let go. But have you ever thought about it, if you hadn't done those things with Hong Gou, how would you know that there are always a few friends around you who never mind these things of yours, but simply care about you and love you? Anyway, the ones I know are Ai Yi, Su Zhe brother, and of course your brother.
When I said this, my frown gradually relaxed, and a warm smile as sunny appeared on my face, which was rare for me. Of course, I accidentally revealed my potential as a warm man with this smile, but Zhang Nuan looked at me with her big eyes, and then asked me nervously, "Will you always stay with me, no matter what wrong things I do in the future?"