Lin Yi raised her eyes and looked at me, as if I asked a question that made her feel that I was narrow-minded, but at that time I didn’t want to care what she thought of me in her heart, because I just wanted to know her answer, because I wanted to know whether my girlfriend had changed her mind, so I looked at her without saying a word, looking into her eyes.
I seemed to disappoint her. She sighed softly, lowered her eyes and looked at the table and said, I don’t know, maybe.
Lin Yi's ambiguous answer made me feel like a knife stabbing my heart. I lowered my head and clenched my fists. My nails had already dug deep into my flesh. I couldn't understand why she wanted to read books and eat with this boy even though she knew that he might like her. Didn't she consider my feelings at all? Am I really as important to her as I thought
I raised my head and scratched my hair vigorously. It seemed that what grew on my head was no longer hair but the three thousand strands of troubles mentioned in the poem. However, I could not get rid of them. I stopped scratching my head and clenched my hand. I asked her in confusion, "You knew that he might like you, but you still wanted to be friends with him? This is called nothing?"
Facing my accusation, Lin Yi still looked calm and asked me, "Are you that scared?" I shook my head and laughed hysterically, because I couldn't understand what the girl in front of me was thinking. She actually asked me why I was so scared. I slapped the table hard, and the bowls on the table seemed to jump. At that time, I didn't pay attention to the people around me who were eating in the cafeteria. I only remember pointing at my nose and loudly told her, "I'm scared??? Isn't it because I care about you that I'm so afraid of losing you!"
As I spoke, I pointed my finger at her nose excitedly. My finger was very close to her nose, and I saw my hand shaking. But she just sat there motionless, as if nothing I did could disturb her heart anymore.
Lin Yi raised her head and looked at me without any fear in her eyes, only disappointment. She looked at me and shook her head and said, "Do you have no confidence in yourself or in me?" I took back the hand that was pointing at her, looked at her with my eyebrows twisted into a ball, and then said in extreme confusion, "Confidence?"
I have never had such a conflicted expression on my face, because I don't understand what she meant by confidence. She is so ambiguous with others, how can I trust her? Am I an idiot, or is she an idiot? ? ! ! ! !
However, I didn't say these words out loud, but the expression on my face and my body movements conveyed these words perfectly to Lin Yi who was sitting there.
Lin Yi, who looked extremely calm on the surface, seemed to be getting excited inside, because I noticed her lips were trembling slightly. She raised her head and looked at me and said word by word, "You don't believe how important you are in my heart, and you don't believe me even more. You don't believe that I will only like you. You think I will easily fall in love with someone else, right?"
I immediately thought of him sitting in the room reading a book, and Lin Yi sitting here reading a book just now. How could she not like someone who looked so much like him
I looked at her and snorted coldly and said, that's not called liking someone easily, but it's called falling in love over time. You treat him as a friend, but he doesn't treat you as a friend. Over time, you will slowly discover the good of this person, and then he will become more and more important in your heart. Even if you don't like him now, sooner or later your heart will waver.
As I spoke, Lin Yi's eyes slowly turned red. After I finished speaking, she pursed her lips and asked me, "Is that how you think of me?" I shook my head and sneered, "I don't think of you that way, I think of everyone that way. You are a human being, not a saint. How can you be free from normal human emotions?"
Lin Yi looked at me with her clear eyes hidden behind tears. She didn't seem to want to argue with me anymore. She lowered her head and asked me, "Is it the same for you?"
Her question stunned me for a moment. I was just talking about my views on human emotions at the same time, because I thought of Bai Lu, Zhang Nuan, and even Xie Qingqing. The memories of these people flashed through my head like slides. All my momentum just now disappeared in an instant. What was left was only guilt and remorse. However, I still did not answer her question directly, but just said impatiently, who isn't like this
But what I didn't expect was that Lin Yi suddenly raised her head and said to me, "I!" Tears had already flowed from her eyes, and they flowed very quickly, as if the meteor in the sky only left a trace of passing on her face, but the tears immediately fell to the ground and disappeared.
I seemed to be even more afraid to face Lin Yi because of her frank answer when she raised her head, because I couldn't say the word "I" as frankly as she did. Lin Yi ignored the tears streaming down her face and said to me word by word, I know you have several good female friends, but I always choose to believe you, because I believe in myself, because I think you know that I really like you, and you won't like anyone else. Even if you really fall in love with them, I have confidence in you, because I know you are my boyfriend, and you won't forget who you really like because of a momentary impulse. I believe in you more than I believe in myself, just because I like you.
Lin Yi stopped talking here and looked at me with her tear-soaked eyes. Her words were like salt sprinkled on the wounds of me feeling sorry for her because I fell in love with other girls. Looking at a girl who believed in me so much, I was speechless and just felt my nose getting more and more sour.
Lin Yi sniffed lightly, looked at me and continued, "But I was wrong. Not only do you not believe me, you also don't believe yourself. If I am in your heart, it doesn't matter if I have three thousand rivals. If you are by my side, what does it matter if I betray the world?"
I was speechless and could only look at her with my eyes that were already wet. She looked up at me, tears began to flow unrestrainedly, she choked and said to me, it turns out that the person you are looking for is not me, and the person I am looking for is not you.
When she said the last word "you", she couldn't say any more. My most beautiful Lin Yi had already cried like a tearful person, and I who was standing in front of her had already burst into tears. I took out the paper in my pocket, wiped her tears and asked her to stop crying, but it was no use. She didn't stop my hand, but her tears didn't stop. I found that my tears gradually blocked my sight, so that I couldn't see her in front of me anymore. I could only wipe her tears with my hands, and then kept telling her, I was wrong, I believe you, really, let's just stop crying!
But my words only made her cry harder. In the end, we didn't know how long we sat there crying. Anyway, I saw that the eyes of the two people in the reflection of the window next to them were swollen from crying. Lin Yi started to sniffle constantly. Although she had stopped crying, her sobbing and nose twitching did not stop.
My heart was broken seeing her like this. Some people just don't want to communicate with you, so you never know what they are thinking. But even if I know it now, it's too late. I know that some things, once broken, can never be repaired, such as her trust in me and her heart.
I looked at the empty plates on the table without saying anything, and Lin Yi turned her head to the side and looked out the window. The two of them were silent for a while, and then Lin Yi looked at the supermarket outside the window and said, "I don't think you will practice basketball like you did back then, right?"
I turned my head and looked at her blankly, not quite understanding why she asked this, but I still nodded stupidly and said, "Well, probably not."
Looking out the window she continued, I really want to put Band-Aids on your wounds again. My hands are full of them, and they are all white. But it seems that there is no possibility now, right