After class that night, Annie came to wait for me to send her back to the dormitory, but I felt empty inside and just wanted to be alone for a while, so I told her that I had something to do with Zhang Tong and asked her to go first. I deliberately lingered in the classroom for a long time before leaving, and when I walked out, there was almost no one in the teaching building.
The wind was very cold at night in winter. A gust of wind blew over and made me shiver. I shook my head to sober myself up. With my hands in my trouser pockets, I felt like I had some of the sentimentality of the tragic male protagonist in Korean dramas. When I reached the corner of the teaching building, I saw Lin Yi.
She was also alone. She always left very late when the final exams were approaching. She would review until very late every day and then quickly walk to the dormitory alone. I remembered that she told me last time that she was not doing well. I found that we were both lonely now. We were both lonely people in the world, so why did we have to know each other before we met? I walked towards her, also wanting to give her a little warmth in this cold night, and also a little warmth to myself.
When Lin Yi saw me, she was stunned for a moment. She didn't expect to meet me at this time. This time, she didn't intend to avoid me. Instead, she walked forward calmly, as if waiting for me to catch up with her. I took two quick steps and arrived in front of her.
"You're going home so late," I wiped my nose with my hand. I was really cold. The weather was cold and the atmosphere between us was not warm either. I asked her calmly, I had to find something to talk about it, right
"Yeah." Lin Yi responded to me simply without turning her head and looking straight ahead. She still responded to me so concisely, which never changed. It was always just one or two words. If she spoke a sentence of more than ten words to me, it was mostly when she was angry with me.
If there is any big difference between boys and girls at that age, it is that after breaking up, although boys will be very sad and unhappy, they usually get over a relationship faster. Take me for example, although I still like Lin Yi a little bit, and my heart still beats irregularly when I see her, but obviously, what’s past is past.
But girls are different, their emotions develop more slowly than boys. They will like you very much, but they will always look like they don't want to pay attention to you. It's not called being reserved, it's just that she always hopes that you can be better to her, care more about her, and be more attentive. Once a relationship ends, she will not be able to get out of the shadow of that adolescent love for a long time. Take Lin Yi for example, now I can completely understand her at that time. She told me that she was not good, in fact, it was because I was still in her heart and my position had not changed, but in my heart, she has changed from the only one to one of them.
"I heard that you've been working very hard recently. I saw the same persistence you had when playing basketball." I thought we would just walk back to the dormitory in silence, but I didn't expect Lin Yi to take the initiative to chat with me this time, although the content of the chat always made us fall into deeper embarrassment.
"Well, I made a bet. Hehe~" It turns out that every time I do something persistently, there is always someone behind me pushing me. "Besides, I want to have a good time during this holiday. If I do really badly on the test, my mom will probably skin me alive!" I deliberately explained, because I think that with Lin Yi's intelligence, she must know that I made this bet with Zhang Nuan, but my explanation is totally unnecessary.
"You made a bet with Zhang Nuan, right? My friend told me that you two had a fight in the classroom." When I heard Lin Yi's words, I wanted to slap myself! Damn, Leng Shan, you idiot! Well, I won't hide it anymore. Besides, Zhang Nuan and I are honest with each other. It's just a bet.
"Well, that girl is like a possessed person all day long. Just be angry with her." Speaking of Zhang Nuan, I thought of her pouting mouth when she was angry with me, her black round eyes when she glared at me, and her thick little fists. I laughed unconsciously.
"You've never called me a girl." Lin Yi seemed to recall some sad past and said this. At first, I thought what she said was totally off topic. But I'm not stupid. It turns out that she was referring to how I addressed Zhang Nuan. I never called her a girl. But girl isn't a term of endearment, right? !
"Leng Shan, how many people do you have in your heart? Do you know which one is the most precious one in your heart?" Lin Yi still didn't look at me, but lowered her head and looked at the road under her feet, with her hands behind her back, constantly entangled. Because I was walking behind her, although the light was dim, I could still see that her entangled hands seemed to be using a lot of strength. When she asked me these questions, she must have also exerted a lot of strength in her heart, right? !
"I..." I didn't know how to answer her, but after she asked me that question, I really started to think about how many people lived in my heart, and which one was the most important one in my heart? I didn't say anything for a long time, because even I didn't know what my answer was.
How many people live in my heart? Bai Lu, that is a girl whom I want to possess alone but hurt deeply. As a result, she just wanted to erase me from her heart and wipe me out from her memory. Lin Yi, that is the first girl I really like. I like every smile of hers. Although she is always cold to me, when she told me that she couldn't bear to leave me, I felt that my heart was melted by her. But I am such a jerk that I forcibly dug her away from me. As for Annie, it was a coincidence and a momentary impulse, but Annie expressed her love to me generously, which made me feel very happy, very relieved, and very happy. It can be regarded as the kind of love that grows over time. There is another person who I can't figure out and see through, Zhang Nuan. Who is the one at the top of my heart
Seeing that I didn't answer her, Lin Yi didn't ask anything later. In fact, at that time, Lin Yi had already seen through me. She was just not so selfless to tell me what was in her heart, because she didn't want to say that someone else had already lived in my heart, and that person was not her.
Later on the way, I was also thinking in my mind, I have to say, Lin Yi's words and questions can make me entangled to death. I secretly cursed myself in my heart, damn, Leng Shan, you are really a country boy! You are so fucking promiscuous? You hurt so many people! Aren't you fucking awesome? You dared to go against Gao Yang, and you fought hard outside, but why are you such a jerk when it comes to women and love? !
When I got back to the dormitory, I didn't want to wash up. I took off my coat and lay down directly in the bed, covering my head with the quilt. I didn't want to see any light, and I didn't want to breathe any air.
When the fat guy saw me like this, he asked me, "What's the matter? Did you fight? Did you quarrel? Did you get caught stealing the exam questions?!" The fat guy got louder and louder as he talked, as if he was afraid that others didn't know that I was stealing the exam questions! ! ! Damn it, this damn fat guy! ! !
"Can't you just think a little better of me?! You're hoping that I get beaten up by someone, and dumped by Annie, right? And... get caught stealing the exam questions?! I'm telling you, if I get caught, it'll be you who reported me!! Go save some money and buy yourself a box!" I stood up and pointed at the fat man and said!
The fat guy saw how angry I was. He didn't reply directly, but he whispered to himself: Damn, I'm so unlucky that I have to be your punching bag every day! If you hadn't helped me before, I would have hit you a lot... Actually, he knew that I could hear what he said, but he didn't want to argue with me!
I lay down for a while again. Originally, those words Zhang Nuan said to me at night had annoyed me to death. My heart felt like there were several huge rocks pressing down on it and I couldn't breathe. But when I met Lin Yi at night, her two short sentences made me feel like I was hanging there, dying.