Zhang Nuan and I rarely contact each other during the day, because she said I have to study during the day, so we can only call and send WeChat at night. And she never chats with me for too long, fearing that I don’t get enough rest. In fact, I know that she doesn’t get enough rest either, so I won’t talk to her too late.
It's already mid-August. The mornings and evenings in the north have become cooler, but the daytime is still very hot. No matter how hard I try to act like a top student, I always refuse Zhang Tong and his friends when they ask me out, so I'm honored to be given the honorary title of "henpecked husband" by them.
Even Ai Yi looked down on me, but not really! This question is so damn hard, I just don't believe that I don't understand you. On Wednesday afternoon, I had a short phone call with Zhang Nuan and then I started to argue with the function body.
There were not many people in the classroom, so I could hear clearly what everyone in the room said. The English class representative cried loudly after receiving a phone call. Her cry attracted the attention of all the few people.
Jiang Shan ran over and asked her, "What's wrong with you? Why are you crying after receiving a phone call? Stop crying!!!" I just looked up. It's said that girls are fragile and cry at any time. Anyway, she is not Zhang Nuan, and she doesn't need me to comfort her when she cries! I lowered my head and continued to count on the scrap paper.
But when I heard the English class representative's words while crying, my pen slipped from my hand. My heart was clenched, and I felt the pain clearly. "Annie, Annie committed suicide... Woo woo..."
The room was in an uproar, and the person who just came in almost tripped over the news. Annie, she committed suicide. But it was just suicide, right? It didn't say that she had, had...
"She's already, already gone. Why... Woo woo..." The English class representative spoke intermittently with tears and snot in her voice.
No, it's impossible. She was fine the last time I saw her. The news that Annie had tried to commit suicide again spread all over the campus. She failed to jump off the building last time. Would she choose to end her life again this time? Some people said, "Well, she might be mentally ill. It's normal for her to commit suicide. Besides, she has done this before..."
Someone else said: "I heard that she was pregnant, the man didn't want her and she couldn't stand it..."
"Oh, what a pity! What's there to be upset about?! She even had a quarrel with her head teacher in front of the whole class..."
"Why do high school students commit suicide every year? I heard that girl was very promiscuous!"
"I don't know how sad her parents will be. She will be relieved then! She won't have to take the college entrance examination!!!..."
…
All kinds of voices kept coming out, Annie, you really have become a celebrity in our school. I smiled, but tears flowed from the corners of my eyes. My heart hurt and I felt guilty. Because I just felt that I had something to do with her today. But how could she be so cruel? She clearly said that she didn't blame me. Did she have planned to punish me in this way
Xia passed away, and she passed away. I and many people from my class went to Annie's funeral. I thought I would be kicked out by her parents when I went, but they were very calm after seeing me. Her father said to me: "I won't scold you or kick you, because I know Annie doesn't want to see us do this, and we all know it's not your fault. Just don't show up in front of us again in the future."
Seeing Annie's father's face suddenly look much older, I felt really sad. Annie's portrait was placed on the stage in front. She was smiling like a flower in the photo, but it was destined that such a smile could only be frozen in that year, frozen there.
Before she left, Anne wrote a suicide note and also wrote me a letter.
Cold Mountain:
When you read this letter, I should be in heaven! Hehe, I will be watching you from heaven, so don't be too sad, otherwise I will feel it too. In fact, what I want to tell you is that you don't need to feel sorry or guilty towards me.
I was just grateful to you at first, but later I really liked you. I still remember that year when I was still with Cao Bo, but once you took advantage of me on the bus, I hated you at that time, but I was afraid that you would tell others that you saw me and Cao Bo, so even though I blushed at that time, I didn't dare to resist.
Later, I would deliberately pick on you during self-study classes, just to get back at you. You were very angry, but I was the class monitor! Being an official is good. Later, I would unconsciously observe you, you definitely didn’t know! At that time, I saw that you and Zhang Nuan always had a lot of fun.
I envied your relationship, and I thought it would be nice for us to sit at the same table. Later, I found out about Cao Bo and Lao He, and he asked me to do something like that. I was very sad and angry. I openly cursed at Lao He in class, but I was really devastated at the time.
Cao Bo threatened me with the videos and photos he secretly filmed. I felt I was at my wit's end because I knew I would be finished if the stuff was released. I thought about committing suicide and wanted to end it all by jumping off the building, but I was stopped. You later helped me vent my anger and solve my problems. I was really grateful to you. I compared you with Cao Bo, and then I found that I gradually developed some feelings for you.
I knew you liked Zhang Nuan at that time, and I also asked about your past relationship with a girl named Lin Yi from the class upstairs. I think you are a really good person, although I haven't had a particularly deep contact with you. I have been hurt, so I really hope to have a warm embrace, so I don't want you, who is so good, to be snatched away by others.
On my birthday, I chose to confess to you. In fact, I knew there were people in the lecture hall at that time, and I also knew that Zhang Nuan was there. But I didn't expect you to really agree to me, although I knew you didn't agree because you liked me.
During the time I spend with you, I become happier every day. I deliberately ignore the other people in your heart and just remember how good you are to me, so I like you more and more.
But you don't belong to me after all, even though I stole you. You broke up with me and went to Zhang Nuan's side. But I didn't give up on you. I was planning how to get close to you. Later I thought of Cao Bo. It was also the end of that incident that I met Liang Chao. I thought he was you, but he was not. Two people using each other in the end was a deception, and he was not you after all.
My life is short, but I hope there will be no more tragedy in my life. I choose to leave this world after giving you the last gift, because at that time I know that I must be very good in your impression. I hope I will always be a very good girl in your heart.
Goodbye, Leng Shan. I will keep you in my life forever, and I hope I can leave a little impression in your heart. Be happy, Leng Shan, because I am watching you from heaven, otherwise I will cry.
Anne's letter was very long. By the time I read it, I was already in tears. This summer when I was eighteen, our story was as exciting as a movie, but there was no happy ending. I felt that this summer, all kinds of ridiculous things and impossible things happened to us.
But Annie chose to completely forget all of this. Her departure filled me with sadness. I told Zhang Nuan about Annie's situation, and she just said, "I will always be with you." Then neither of us spoke, but the phone didn't hang up.
This kind of silent companionship made me feel more comfortable, and also relieved my guilt for Annie's departure. Many years later, when I recall the summer of my eighteenth year, it will be like a knife stabbing me hard. Goodbye to the summer of eighteen, goodbye to Annie.