Later, Ai Yi told me a lot of things I didn't know, such as Zhang Nuan had told her that Wang Hao's shadow in her heart was fading, and she even blamed herself, wondering if she had let Wang Hao down. She also knew a lot of little things about me, including what Zhang Nuan told me at the airport that day.
Later I found out that the reason Zhang Nuan was most angry with me was not because I had any intimate behavior with Xie Qingqing or Bai Lu, but because I had learned to deceive her since that Halloween. Yes, I started to deceive Zhang Nuan, and I was no longer honest with her. Isn't the most important thing for two people to be together to trust each other? But I destroyed our defense line first.
When I found out that Zhang Nuan lied to me and said she didn't look at my phone, I was also very angry. Thinking about it, the reason why I mentioned Wang Hao to Zhang Nuan at the airport that day was more because I didn't have a better reason or excuse to explain to Zhang Nuan my deception and the fact that I did do something wrong.
But what I remember most clearly from that conversation was the phrase "Cherish each other while we are together". Zhang Nuan and I have come this far, and I plan to spend the rest of my life with her. Shouldn't we cherish each other and support each other until we grow old? !
If you think things through, you won't have so many worries. After all, I'm a man, so I'll just be ashamed! Ai Yi has already told me that Zhang Nuan and Su Zhe went on a trip to Europe, which was ahead of their New Year's trip, because they go out to play once every winter.
There was no way to contact Zhang Nuan directly by phone, so I could only leave a message on WeChat. Zhang Nuan replied to my message two days after I sent it. I sent a voice message to Zhang Nuan, and she replied to me with a text message.
I said to Zhang Nuan, "Why didn't you tell me you were going out to play?! When will you be back?! I'll come find you." I wanted to show my friendship to Zhang Nuan, but after thinking about it, I decided not to say sorry or anything like that! I just said I'd wait for her to come back and find her, so it sounded like nothing bad had happened between us!
Zhang Nuan replied to me: Lengshan, let's calm down for a while. There are some things I haven't figured out yet, and I may not return to China in the short term.
She only typed this one sentence, which only had 38 words including punctuation, but it had already put me in a cold and cruel state. What did she mean? Calm down and don't return to China in the short term? What is the scale of this "soon"? How long is this short term? Zhang Nuan, you are a cold-hearted girl.
Later, I sent another voice message to Zhang Nuan. "What do you mean?! I'm telling you, Zhang Nuan, no matter what you think in your heart, breaking up is impossible! I'll wait for you at home."
Later, Zhang Nuan didn't reply to me. I was very conflicted every day, hoping to see her reply, but I was also afraid to see her reply to me something I didn't want to see. The school had already held a parent-teacher meeting, and this final exam was a bit like a test for the college entrance examination. My grades were just average, and it was still possible to get into an ordinary undergraduate university.
So this winter vacation has arrived before I even noticed it, and several days have passed. Since the incident at school, Zhang Tong and Ai Yi have been dating without hiding it. Both parents know about it. After knowing that Ai Yi was admitted to the Shanghai Theatre Academy, Zhang Tong's parents felt that their son was not worthy of her, so they took the initiative to invite Ai Yi to their home.
My mom also asked me why I didn't go out, and whether I had a quarrel with Zhang Nuan. Damn, students nowadays mature early, and even their parents follow suit. At the age of early love, are parents so direct? ! I naturally told my mom that it was nothing, but Zhang Nuan was busy now.
As the Chinese New Year was approaching, Zhang Tong called me out. I was now a complete homebody, and I hadn’t shaved for several days. Although it wasn’t as serious as my dad’s, I didn’t look like a 19-year-old boy at all. So much so that Zhang Tong said to me as soon as he saw me: “Where did you come from, a caveman!!”
"Fuck, you've learned history well, haven't you?!" I was very upset that Zhang Tong, who I hadn't seen for several days, gave me such an evaluation as soon as we met. Later, Zhang Tong simply didn't dare to provoke me, because no matter what he said to me, it was like taking choking medicine to choke him.
"Oh, by the way, have you seen how Zhang Nuanfa is doing recently? I feel like she's having a great time now! She looks so damn happy, and she seems to have gained a little weight!!!" Zhang Tong said to me while smoking.
"What status? Did Zhang Nuan update her status? Hasn't she posted any messages since December?!!!" I was quite stunned by what Zhang Tong suddenly told me about Zhang Nuan's status, but I knew the reason after he finished talking. It turned out that it wasn't that Zhang Nuan didn't update her status, but that she chose to make it invisible to designated people!!!
When Zhang Tong saw my expression and heard what I said, he seemed to suddenly understand something and wanted to change the subject. I took out his cell phone from his pocket. We both knew the password of his cell phone because sometimes when we played together, we would often use each other's cell phones.
I quickly opened Zhang Tong's phone, logged into Zhang Tong's WeChat, and went to check out Zhang Nuan's updates in his circle of friends. It would have been fine if I hadn't looked at it, but after I did, I realized that Zhang Nuan was living a very comfortable life. There were several photos of her taking selfies, and Su Zhe secretly appeared behind her.
It turns out that Zhang Nuan has updated so many statuses in the past half month, and she seems very happy in each status. I laughed at myself, does she still need to calm down? Is this the state she should be in after being emotionally hurt? It turns out that she doesn't need to calm down, she just needs an excuse for me to calm down!!!
I actually laughed out loud, I felt so pathetic for myself!!! What else can I say?! I suddenly felt like a clown, letting Zhang Nuan play with me when she was happy and throw me aside when she was unhappy.
"Are you okay?!" Zhang Tong also felt that after I read Zhang Nuan's status, some parts were unbelievable. Zhang Nuan, do you have to put me on the blacklist and deliberately prevent me from reading your messages
"It's okay! What's the big deal? You were just fooled by someone, and then you cried and laughed and begged them to kill you! You were dumped by someone, but you still fucking think you are still that person's sweetheart! I'm fine!!!" I almost shouted the following words, not only to Zhang Tong, but also to myself.
I really find it funny. Actually, Zhang Nuan, you really don’t need to do this. It’s as if I, Leng Shan, am shameless enough to cling to you! Who the hell are you?! You don’t have to rely on the fact that I like you to play me around like this, as if everything is my fault!
You, Zhang Nuan, are a girl who has a dead person in your heart. You are traveling alone with a brother who already has an ambiguous relationship with you. Where do you put me, your boyfriend? The more I think about it, the more I feel like a clown. I feel like I am becoming more and more of a fucking slut!
There are people who like you, but you ignore them and reject them. You are shameless for clinging to someone whose heart is not with you!!! I returned the phone to Zhang Tong and left. Zhang Tong called me from behind, but I ignored him and took a taxi home.
When I got home, I took out my cell phone and sent a long voice message to Zhang Nuan.
"Zhang Nuan, if you are out with someone, just go out and have fun. There is no need to blacklist me so that I can't see your status!!! Isn't it fun to play me like a fool?! And you want to calm down? You don't need to calm down at all, right?! Just taking advantage of my mistakes to please you so that you and Su Zhe can live together?! I, Leng Shan, am not that cheap!!! I am a fucking idiot! That's why I wanted to lower my face and tell you that I will wait for you to come back and then make peace!!! Then I wish you all the best, congratulations, and I will also help you! We are done! Thank you for playing this game with me!"