When I walked back to my seat, everyone else had also returned with their food and sat down. I put the two plates in my hand next to Zhang Nuan, and just as I took my hands back and sat down, I heard Zhang Nuan say "thank you" to me! I couldn't stand it anymore, so I stood up and pulled Zhang Nuan through Zhang Tong and Ai Yi.
"Let's go out and talk!!!!" I grabbed Zhang Nuan's wrist, and then I said to her loudly and angrily. I exerted force and indeed pulled Zhang Nuan up. Everyone was shocked to see my excited reaction, but no one said anything, not even Qiao Ya. I guess Dayao must have explained the situation to her when she took the things just now.
"Let me go! There are so many people watching us!!!" Zhang Nuan tried to pry my hand open with her other hand, but I held it so tightly that she couldn't get my hand free.
"Come out!!! Let's chat!!!" I repeated it again. My purpose was very clear. Let's go out and talk alone, or we can just stay here in a stalemate.
"Leng Shan, let go first." "Shan Zi, don't do this..." Zhang Tong and Ai Yi stood up at the same time and pulled me to talk to me. But my attitude was also very firm, so at this time, no matter what they said, I couldn't listen.
Zhang Nuan also saw my firm attitude, and her originally calm face showed some anger, so she said to them: "It's okay, you guys eat first!" Then she looked at me and said: "I'll go out with you, you let me go first!!!"
After hearing what Zhang Nuan said, I let her go, because I knew she would definitely come out with me. Zhang Tong and Ai Yi stood up to make way for Zhang Nuan. After Zhang Nuan came out, she walked out first, and I followed her out. The five people who stayed behind were also thinking about different things.
Zhang Nuan walked very fast, and I didn't know where she was going or when she would stop, so I hurriedly took two steps to catch up with her, and then pulled her to a nearby water bar. After buying two bottles of water, Zhang Nuan and I sat on either side of the table. Zhang Nuan didn't look up at me, but just lowered her head.
Zhang Nuan lowered her head and said to me, "Just say what you want to say." Her tone was cold, without the affection between lovers, nor was she as polite as before. It was as if she was waiting for the boss to make a notice, and then she would leave after listening to it.
I kept looking at Zhang Nuan, there were some things I wanted to clarify. "Why didn't you tell me when you left with Su Zhe?" After Zhang Nuan and I separated at the airport, she left without a word. I thought it was just a cold war, but this cold war ended for both of us.
"Why should I tell you? You left first." Zhang Nuan told me. I never expected her to be so calm. After a breakup, a woman should at least feel sad, right?! Besides, we've only been apart for less than a month. Even if she wants to let go, it's too late, right?!
"Because we were still together when you left!!!" That's right, we hadn't broken up at that time, but you, Zhang Nuan, just left. "I never left first!!! It was obviously you who went abroad, and then you wanted to calm down!" Since I met Zhang Nuan today, I found that I am not calm at all, and I don't have the deepness that a man should have.
"At the airport, you didn't say anything, you just turned around and left coldly. Did you ever look back at me? Didn't you leave first? When you turned around and left, you left me alone in a place where I just saw you hugging another girl. Why do you think I have to report to you about everything I do? Ridiculous!" Zhang Nuan finally showed a little excitement.
Although I know that if Zhang Nuan gets excited, we will easily quarrel, but compared to quarreling, I hate her indifference and nonchalance. I didn't expect Zhang Nuan to tell me about what happened at the airport that day. If you count it this way, it seems that I turned around first, but that doesn't mean I want to choose to break up!
"Yes, I turned away first that day, but I didn't say it was over. On the contrary, you disappeared without a trace, and blocked me on WeChat, didn't you?! You and Su Zhe were playing abroad for so long, why didn't you think of telling me?!" Is this actually the main reason why I am angry right now? !
"A relationship is not something you can do whatever you want. When you turn around and leave, you should think about what you will take on next! Leng Shan, from the time we separated at the airport to when I went abroad, there were so many days in between that you could have done something, but didn't you do anything?" Zhang Nuan finally looked up at me and said.
"You've been saying this for so many days. Do I have to speak up first to break our cold war before things can get better? Why can't you take the initiative once?!" I was not satisfied with Zhang Nuan's accusation against me just now. Just like she said, why couldn't she, Zhang Nuan, take the initiative to contact me in all these days? !
"Heh~ Lengshan, let's put aside other things and just talk about these few things. Who was wrong first? Also, it was you who said to break up, wasn't it?! I replied to you, I just said that we should calm down and think carefully about the problems between us. At least we should know why we have come to this point today and how we should heal this wound! But what about you? It was you who said break up first in the WeChat message, wasn't it?!!!" Zhang Nuan became more excited this time.
What she said suddenly made me feel like what she said made sense. Yes, the first cold war was because I turned away first, so we had a cold war. The second breakup was because I was angry that Zhang Nuan left without saying goodbye, and I saw that she was having fun with Su Zhe and deliberately didn't let me know her dynamics, so I said break up.
Both times, I gave up first. What do I hope for if I pursue who gave up first? It should be what Lin Yi told me. In fact, I still haven't let go of Zhang Nuan. Breaking up was just a moment of anger. It turns out that I don't want us to change from lovers to friends, or even strangers.
"Then why do you deliberately not let me see your Moments? Why do you only set limits for me? Are you afraid that I will see the intimate interactions between you and Su Zhe? Su Zhe obviously has different feelings for you, don't tell me you don't see it at all!!!" Even though I knew that what Zhang Nuan said made sense, I still did not admit the accusations when I opened my mouth.
"Leng Shan, let me tell you, no matter how Su Zhe treats me, he is a good brother in my heart, and this will never change. Also, when we were together, I told you that I had Wang Hao in my heart, because he is a memory that I can't erase, and he is just a memory to me. I looked at your phone, and it was wrong of me. But before that, you never said anything to me about looking at your phone, right? If you have no guilty conscience and you have done nothing wrong, why are you so afraid of me looking at your phone?" Zhang Nuan calmed down and then said to me.
Every word she said made me feel heartbroken, because she was right. The reason why I had such an emotional reaction was indeed as Zhang Nuan said, because I felt a little guilty. "I, I was wrong, but I..." I wanted to admit my mistake, because I couldn't say anything to refute or question Zhang Nuan.
Zhang Nuan interrupted me and said, "Let's stop here. I think our problems have been explained clearly. Now is not the time to argue about who is right or wrong, because it is no longer necessary. Once the trust between two people is broken, it is actually very difficult to repair. I don't have the experience to do such a thing now. It's good to still be friends after we meet." Zhang Nuan picked up the tissue on the table and wiped her mouth, then said, "I'm leaving first."
Zhang Nuan got up and walked out. I felt like some things could never come back. I wanted to hold Zhang Nuan and keep her, but I couldn't move or raise my hands. I felt like a fucking jerk. I had made an agreement with Zhang Nuan that we wouldn't break up even if we had a fight. I made the agreement, but I was the first to break it.
When I realized that Zhang Nuan was really gone, I ran out of the bar frantically to look for that figure, but all I saw was the passing crowd and unfamiliar faces, and the figure I was looking for was nowhere to be found.