I once liked a boy very much, since I was very young. Even though he ignored me, I still felt that he made me very happy in my heart. He was not handsome and was not good to me, but it was just like the saying that some people are not good enough to explain, but no one can replace them. Leng Shan was that person for me.
But I was not irreplaceable in his heart, so there was no way that he and I would have a good ending. When everything was settled, I set out on the road to Beijing. I hoped to forget him, but forgetting someone was not easy.
Later, I realized that forgetting a person is not the best way to heal. Remembering a person and accepting his position in your heart again is the best way. So, I no longer think about how to forget Leng Shan every day, but think about how to make him more deeply in my heart, just by changing his position.
When I returned home from Beijing, when I saw Leng Shan again, I still felt a slight pain in my heart, but it was not as intense, so I knew that my method was successful.
Seeing how good he and Zhang Nuan are, I am actually not completely without jealousy in my heart. After all, Zhang Nuan is also my love rival! In fact, I never understand why Leng Shan likes a girl like Zhang Nuan. Although I think Zhang Nuan is also very good, I think people like me are more suitable to be a girlfriend, right? !
Leng Shan went to the airport to see me off that day. When we hugged each other and said goodbye, I found that my mood had completely changed. He really was like a friend of mine, but his position in my heart was higher than others.
I told Leng Shan that I was going to travel, I was going to drop out of school, and give myself a chance to go on an exile. Actually, I had wanted to travel a long time ago, to record every beautiful scene with my brush, so when I returned to Beijing, I told my parents about my idea. I was spoiled by them since I was a child, so when I proposed this idea, although they were worried, they still agreed with my idea.
My first stop was the distant Hainan. People say it is extremely beautiful, but when I actually went there, although I felt its beauty, the increasingly strong commercial atmosphere and the fact that Hainan is almost entirely occupied by people from the Northeast made me not feel like a foreign land at all.
So I started to go to those very small places, which might not be famous tourist attractions, but I loved them very much. I went from south to north, and then from west to east.
Xinjiang is a place that I have always been afraid of and loved. People always say there are riots in Xinjiang, so I really don't dare to go there. But I also like the culture there. Every time I see Xinjiang people singing and dancing, I really want to dance with them, but I am so stupid that I can't twist my neck no matter what.
I kept wandering around a small place in Xinjiang because I really liked it! Xinjiang's milk, raisins and cantaloupe are really better than those in other places.
That day, I went to a place in Xinjiang to watch the sunrise very early. I took my camera and started to take pictures of various scenery. In fact, as a young painter, it is very important to take pictures of beautiful scenery, because my brush is always much slower than the camera to depict those beautiful scenery. So in order to make up for my regrets, I had to complete some of the paintings in later stage.
As I took pictures left and right, the scene in my camera was no longer a landscape, but a person. When I saw that person in my lens, I thought I was dazzled. I thought it was Leng Shan, but he gave me a completely different feeling. There was a hint of sadness between his brows.
My mouth was shaped like an "o" because of fear. I clearly remember that when I broke up with Leng Shan last time, he said, "If I see someone who looks like you one day, I might fall in love with you at first sight!" When I saw that person, I really fell in love with him at first sight.
But I know very well that he is not Leng Shan. I think there are some similarities between us. For example, although we both pretend to be very free and easy, the kind of sadness that we both vaguely reveal is the same!!!
Later, the man found out that I was taking a photo of him. He was very unhappy. When I saw his face, I thought he was going to hit me! But it turned out that he was pretty good! I ran over to chat with him, and the first thing I said was: "Do you know Leng Shan!!!!"
I don't think there would be any coincidences in modern times that two unrelated people would look so similar. And from my conversation with Leng Shan, I seemed to vaguely know that Leng Shan had a brother, so when I saw his first appearance, I almost concluded that he must be related to Leng Shan!
When I asked that question, the man's face changed into several colors, and the most common color was black. He had a dark face and it looked like he wanted to kick me. But I was wearing white clothes, and it would be difficult to wash if they got dirty!
I thought he would tell me a lot of things, at least answer my questions. After all, we are friends, so he should be considerate of me. But what about him? He just walked away without saying a word to me.
I started following him with my SLR camera on my back. Besides being shocked by him, I also had a lot of curiosity and questions in my mind, so from that day on, I followed him purposefully.
I found a problem, that is, when we eat, our tastes are almost the same. We both like to eat things with very special tastes, such as goat milk, which many people would not like, but we both love it. And the naan that everyone eats, we would not even look at it!
The more I followed him, the more I was fascinated by him. I followed him for three days, and he didn't say a word to me. On the fourth day, when he was leaving Xinjiang, I stupidly followed him on the bus. Later, he said to me from the seat next to me, "Silly, I'm going home! Why are you still following me?! Did you bring your luggage today?!"
He asked me this question out of the blue, and I was stunned. He was going home, and I thought he was going to the next classic, so I didn't even bring my camera that day, but only brought money and mobile phone, so that it would be convenient to go out! But if I don't follow him, I will lose him. If I follow him, what about my things? That's not a small amount of money!!!
Five minutes before the bus started moving, I made a bold decision. Since I didn't want to lose you, and I didn't want to leave my things behind, in order to consider the overall situation, I suddenly changed my temperament. I was no longer the quiet and weak me. When he was not paying attention, I snatched the schoolbag from his hand and ran out frantically.
I saw him put his ticket and ID in his bag, so I was sure that if I left like this, he would get off the train eventually. I was right. I ran off the train with my bag. I knew that I was no match for him in either long-distance or short-distance running, so after running a few meters, I went straight into the women's restroom at the station.
I thought this was a good way to delay time, so when he came down to chase me, I said to him calmly: "I won't go out, come in if you can!" I was not worried at all, because the women's restroom in the station was very crowded!!!
He yelled from outside: "I'll count to three, are you coming out or not?!!! You will suffer the consequences!" As he began to count down, I felt a little uneasy. After all, he dared to yell like that openly outside. Even if he didn't come in, the people in the women's restroom would push me out, right? !
"Three, two... one! Okay, you wait!" When he shouted the last number, I heard the door of the women's restroom slam shut, followed by all kinds of screams and curses, many of which I couldn't understand at all.
He came in and dragged me out, like a chicken. I felt so embarrassed at the time, and he was not gentle at all. His hands were so strong that the back of my neck hurt! "You, can you be gentler!!!"
"Give me something!" He said that and without waiting for my answer, he went to grab his schoolbag from my hand. What a joke! Since I got it, it's not so easy for him to take it back. Although I am weak, once I insist on doing something, my perseverance is very strong. Just like when Leng Shan ignored me when I was a child and I was bullied by a group of people, I still followed Leng Shan.
"No, no, no, no!... Ah... Ah!!! You, even if I give it to you, you can't leave!!! Look, the bus has already left!!!!" We argued for a long time, and I pointed at the bus that was slowly driving out! Don't blame me, don't blame me...
"Are you fucking crazy?!!!!" He yelled, which made my already frightened heart churn even more. But the scene of the two of us standing together was very much like a young couple quarreling, and the boy bullying the girl. So when Liang Chao finished these words, the two of us attracted everyone's attention. '
The funniest thing was that there was actually a kind-hearted person who came over to mediate the fight, patted him on the shoulder, and then said to him in that unstandard Mandarin: "Hey boy, be gentler with girls! Even when you are quarreling, you can't touch girls!!!" I couldn't help but laugh, and I also felt sorry for him!