Some people say that wrong love is like buying a pair of shoes that don't fit. Your feet hurt when you put them on, and you still feel bad when you throw them away because they look good. I feel that my life has entered such a strange situation since a very early time. And the one I fell in love with wrongly was Zhang Nuan.
I met Zhang Yaoyang when I was fifteen. We were together no matter what we did. We did a lot of bad things at that time, but I don’t know why he chose to be a policeman! Damn, if he can be a policeman, then I can also be an FBI agent!
I still remember that time when Zhang Yaoyang and I went out to play. At night, I went to his house to find him, but his father wouldn't let him out, so I had to jump out of the window. At that time, their house was on the third floor. For fun, it was not a problem. We had used all kinds of quilts and bedspreads!
One day, Zhang Yaoyang was climbing down, and I was waiting for him from below. Suddenly, a little man appeared from the window. He was about four or five years old. He glared at me and started to scold me: "You bad guy, you made my brother do such a dangerous thing!!! And you, if you climb again, I will tell Dad!!!"
Shit, we were really scared at that time, because Zhang Yaoyang was already halfway up, and if someone suddenly came and couldn't get up or down, it would be bad if something happened. The most important thing is that it would be difficult for us to get out again in the future! We quickly comforted her, but her last request was that we take her out to play together...
That day, I met her, the girl named Zhang Nuan. I always liked to tease her, but she was always very mean to me. Most of the time, we would get along like this: I teased her and she would scold me.
When I was older, I found her very cute. She would hide from me like a ghost every time she saw me. When I was in high school, I had several girlfriends, but we broke up very quickly. And I was the one who broke up every time. My shelf life for women was only three months at most, but Zhang Nuan was different. Sometimes, I would specifically ask Zhang Yaoyang to bring Zhang Nuan out to play with me.
Later, Zhang Yaoyang and Zhang Nuan lived alone, and I shamelessly moved in. At that time, Zhang Yaoyang and I shared a room and a bed, so Zhang Nuan often looked down on both of us.
Zhang Yaoyang passed the exam to become a police officer. As for me, I didn't want to study, so I started working as a construction contractor halfway through college and made a lot of money. In fact, when we were in high school, Taiyang and I had already been in the underworld, and we met a lot of big brothers.
No one is absolutely clean. This is especially true when I entered society and left the job of a construction contractor. How could I not meet some ruthless people? ! Moreover, Zhang Yaoyang and I are not good people. We used to fight each other without caring about our lives! After a while, Zhang Yaoyang and I also came into contact with some gangsters and white people in private.
Zhang Yaoyang was transferred to the drug control station in Yunnan, so Zhang Nuan and I were the only ones left in the family. We quarreled and had a lot of fun every day. Zhang Nuan grew up day by day, becoming more and more like a little woman. I took good care of her and wanted to protect her.
I don't know when it started, but no other women appeared in my life, only her. At that time, she had a friend named Ai Yi, and the two of them often did some small actions to me, and I always cooperated with their performances, pretending to be very angry or aggrieved. It turned out that I had learned to please her since then.
Zhang Nuan has a cheerful personality, and under the education of Zhang Yaoyang and I, she has never been afraid of anything, so she often goes out to play and hang out, and we don't interfere. We just tell her that if she gets bullied, she should find us immediately and we will help her deal with it!
Zhang Nuan actually had a boyfriend in her freshman year of high school, which was a surprise that I had expected. I had long known that a girl like Zhang Nuan would definitely be liked by many people, and that someone would pursue her in high school, and that it was extremely normal to fall in love early, but I didn't expect it to happen so quickly, and that I would love her so deeply.
Although I was a little jealous, I also knew that Zhang Nuan should be my sister, but there was another voice in my heart that said, I like her. At that time, I had an idea that I wanted to walk hand in hand with Zhang Nuan, from the time I fell in love with her until we were old.
Watching Zhang Nuan immersed in the happiness of love, I was sometimes happy and sometimes sad. Because she was happy, I was happy too, but because her happiness was because of another boy, I felt sad.
I carefully checked the information of the boy named Wang Hao. Although he was not outstanding, his character was pretty good. I hid my concern for Zhang Nuan and used my brotherly concern to like such a girl. Later, I learned about Wang Hao's illness, and I watched Zhang Nuan's face become paler day by day.
I thought it was just a relationship between high school kids, and even though it would be sad, it wouldn't have too much of an impact. But I seemed to have underestimated these two people, because both Zhang Nuan and Wang Hao gave me completely different feelings, they were both very serious about each other, so serious that it made me jealous and also scared.
That winter, Wang Hao passed away. I thought Zhang Nuan would be so sad that she would cry all day, but she didn't. She smiled every day, talking to herself about her and Wang Hao's stories, and flipping through her diary over and over again.
Zhang Yaoyang and I discussed changing Zhang Nuan's environment, perhaps this would help her get over the sadness of Wang Hao's death sooner. Although I never saw Zhang Nuan's tears, I could feel how much pain she felt. After transferring to the new school, Zhang Nuan seemed to have become much better.
She went to live on campus. I thought that although I couldn't see her, it was also good. She needed an environment where she could talk more about her inner thoughts. Maybe she would have such a friend in the dormitory. At least there were many things that Zhang Nuan didn't want to tell me, and she had other people to tell.
After Zhang Nuan left, I went home less often, but I would go home every weekend and prepare a big meal for Zhang Nuan. Zhang Nuan would always wipe her mouth and leave after eating, without even saying thank you to me, but she would tell me that you put too much salt in today's dish... Last time, there was not enough soup...
Later, I noticed that Zhang Nuan rarely mentioned Wang Hao, and she even seldom looked at the diary. Later, when she went home, she would mention another person's name, Leng Shan. It was also after she met Leng Shan that I noticed that Zhang Nuan would run out at any time, and seemed to get into more trouble.
When I first met Leng Shan, I felt a sense of crisis, just like when you have a beloved toy and suddenly one day there is someone else who wants to fight for it, so I didn't have a good impression of him.
Later, I found that Zhang Nuan seemed to like the man named Leng Shan, because I found a new diary in Zhang Nuan's home, and the things recorded in it were about Leng Shan. I knew it was wrong for me to read Zhang Nuan's personal belongings, but I still couldn't help it.
Actually, my love for Zhang Nuan has always been hidden. Although I know that I like her as a man and a woman, I have never shown it. Although I have always considered myself not a good person and never procrastinate in doing things, when I met Zhang Nuan, I couldn't say a word of love.
Meeting Zhang Nuan and falling in love with her was a disaster for me. And falling in love with her was the wrong love of my life. Zhang Nuan and Leng Shan confirmed their relationship, and I was drinking alone in the bar. The first thing I thought was, Su Zhe, you are such a fucking coward! If you like her, why can't you be a little braver? !
Ten years apart, that's not a problem at all! She's a younger sister, so what?! Sister-brother relationships are everywhere, brother-sister relationships shouldn't be embarrassing, right?! But the problem is that I didn't take any step forward, and the main reason was that Zhang Nuan didn't like me.
She is a very sensitive girl. She told me a long time ago that in her heart, I was just a brother like Zhang Yaoyang. Moreover, Zhang Nuan deliberately distanced herself from me, which made me feel that if I broke that layer of window paper, Zhang Nuan and I might never have any intersection again.
Zhang Nuan was bullied by Hong Gou. When I saw Zhang Nuan lying in bed in the hospital, I had the urge to kill Hong Gou. When I saw Leng Shan in Zhang Nuan's ward, I didn't want him to get close to Zhang Nuan! How come you can't even take care of your girlfriend?! What's the use of you?! ! ! !
When I received a call from Zhang Nuan, but the voice on the other end was indeed unfamiliar, the person told me that the owner of the phone had fainted at the airport, I put down the tens of millions of real estate contracts in my hand and drove over. Later, I went on a trip with Zhang Nuan, and those days were the happiest days of my life.
I always feel that as long as I can protect her silently like this, it will be enough. Even if you like some people to the core, the best way is not necessarily to get them, but to make them happy. It's a pity that even if you try your best, you can't give her happiness!
After Zhang Nuan and Leng Shan got together, I really felt that she was having a hard time. Even when it was Wang Hao in the past, I didn't feel that she was so tired. Zhang Nuan suddenly disappeared for three days. When she came back, my eyes were full of tears. Why is she always the one who gets hurt?!
So one day I asked Zhang Nuan, "Xiao Nuan, aren't you tired of being with Leng Shan?" At that time, Zhang Nuan was still in the hospital for drug rehabilitation. It was clearly not her fault, but why did all the punishment seem to be transferred to her
After a long while, Zhang Nuan said in a low voice: "I'm tired, but what can I do? I just like him... so I am willing..." She seemed to be answering my question, but also seemed to be talking to herself.
At that moment, I suddenly didn't know how to comfort her, because I was also very tired, but what should I do? Because I like you, but you don't have me in your heart.