Kidney Bean's friend has been very depressed recently. No, it's not just depression, it's a constant pain in his balls. Although he doesn't know where the eggs are and why they hurt...
The reason is very simple, because since he had his younger brother, he felt that his parents didn't love him anymore!
Yes, you read that right, it's not the brother who was born after ten months of pregnancy. !
When it comes to this jealous and jealous person, it started a year ago.
It was a dark and windy night in the month. Mr. Han Jiang, who was jealous, kidnapped his comrade Yun Jinshu from the set and played with his uniform PLAY without restraint. , and you don’t even have a condom!
Then things went wrong, a sinful seed sprouted quietly, and by the time it was discovered, it had already been three months and I couldn’t get rid of it, you bastard!
For a fresh young lady who was only seven years old, he really didn't want to admit such a serious thing, but the facts were better than the bear's poop. After witnessing his daddy's belly getting bigger day by day, his young mind was deeply affected. Sang Hui, even the three views collapsed.
Daddy and Mommy are going to have their own biological child
They will definitely not want me as a picked-up child again.
Because of God, my life is so miserable... 嘤嘤嘤
As for why Kidney Bean's friends were not surprised that men can have children, it was probably because they were too nervous and the despair of being abandoned by their parents took over the high ground. They didn't react for a while. When they came to their senses, their younger brother was almost one year old.
"Woo... ow..."
Baozi was lying on the crib, covered with an aqua-blue velvet blanket. He held a finger in his mouth and smiled silly at his brother standing aside. His big, round and bright eyes were unblinking, and a pair of dimples were exposed on his fair face. .
Kidney Bean looked at him, turned her head, looked again, and turned her head again.
I don't want to admit that I really want to poke that dimple!
But it looks so soft and elastic... I really want to pinch it, but why is it so swollen
The younger brother is the most annoying! Kidney Bean pouted her lips arrogantly, took a private glance and found that there was no one around, so she reached out and poked her brother's face, even though her heart was about to break...
Ouch! So soft...
Kidney stood on tiptoes, holding on to the railing beside the crib, and stretched out a finger to touch her brother's face. Her round eyes were full of wonder, and her head was tilted to one side, making her look stupid no matter what.
"Ouch... ow..."
Baozi seemed to like this brother very much. He giggled happily. He grabbed Kidney Dou's hand with his chubby arms, raised his feet in the air and patted them vigorously. His eyes narrowed with joy.
The body of the baby, who is about to turn one year old, is soft and smells like milk. The pink dress with Hello Kitty printed on it makes the baby's face even more pink and attractive.
Kidney Bean felt that his cuteness was about to be exploded, and he wanted to hug his brother and rub him hard. However, his brother's dignity must be maintained, and he had not forgotten the "blood feud" that this guy had for taking away his parents! Hey, what kind of blood feud is this
So at this time, he gritted his teeth, resisted the urge in his heart to hug his brother, and puffed out his cheeks: "Don't smile at me, I don't know you at all."
Nani? Baozi seemed to understand. He tilted his head and looked at his brother with a harmless expression, eyes wide.
"What are you looking at? I'm just bullying you! Come and bite me, come on, come on."
Kiddou seemed to feel that she had an advantage because she could not speak to her younger brother. Taking advantage of Yun Jinshu and Han Jiang's absence, she got extremely embarrassed and twisted in front of her younger brother. She didn't even remember that she was nearly 7 years older than him. What a shame. It's so embarrassing!
"Glue... cluck!"
Baozi, who looked silly and cute at first, actually laughed out loud when he saw his brother dancing with demons in front of him, thinking that his brother was making him happy.
One freshman, one is cute and the other is natural, but they get along surprisingly harmoniously. When the bedroom door opened, Yun Jinshu and Han Jiang saw this scene.
"Douzi, what are you doing?"
Yun Jinshu watched in surprise as his eldest son twisted and twisted in front of his son, like a wriggling caterpillar, with a look of dismay on his face. He was so stupid that he couldn't bear to look at him.
"Huh?" Kidney Bean was stunned for a moment, then stood at attention and put on a "I'm the elder brother and I'm very stable" look, crisply, "My younger brother and I are discussing literature."
"Pfft..."
Han Jiang, who was standing nearby, couldn't help but squirted out, but in order to save face for his eldest son, he had to suppress a smile, "Well, does your brother understand?"
"You must understand." Kiddou couldn't wait to steal his younger brother's limelight in front of his parents. He quickly stepped forward and hugged his younger brother on the crib, pretending to be brothers and sisters.
Baozi also cooperated very well, making a bunch of noises, and Kidney Bean followed suit, "Look, brother, facts are better than bear's poop."
Yun Jinshu couldn't hold back this time and burst into laughter. There was really nothing he could do about this weird guy like Kidney Bean.
"Okay, okay, I know you're good. Come eat and play. Your mother and I are going to put your brother to sleep."
When Kidney Bean heard this, the radar on his head started beeping. Dad and Mommy kicked me out, but left the oil bottle behind. It was so heartbreaking. Jealousy and scheming are the most annoying things!
He climbed onto his brother's bed on the bench and hugged his brother, "No, I am a good brother and must stay with my brother."
Yun Jinshu, who was about to change his son's diaper, was in trouble, "You hug my brother so tightly, how can I change him?"
Kidney nodded obediently, then let go and moved closer to her brother's trousers, with a look of surprise on her face, "Huh? Do I wear this too? I look so disgusting."
"What's so great about this, idiot, weren't you also raised by your father in the first place?"
"Han Jiang, are you looking for a beating?" Yun Jinshu threw a knife at him. Did his own son grow up with feces and urine
Han Jiang quickly slapped his lips to admit his mistake, and untied his son's diaper. Kidney beans moved closer to him out of curiosity. He only heard his brother giggle, and in an instant, his face was splashed with urine...
Yun Jinshu: "..."
Han Jiang: "..."
"Ugh..." Baozi was sleepy and turned over awkwardly, exposing his white and tender buttocks with an innocent look on his face.
The two elders looked at each other, and then their unscrupulous parents laughed crazily, almost overturning the house.
Poor Kidney Bean squatted on the ground and drew circles, hum, my brother is so cruel... ┭┮﹏┭┮
***
In fact, it was not his new younger brother that made Kidney Bean collapse the most. After all, although his younger brother was wilted and bad, he always bullied him. It was obviously you who bullied others, okay? , but at least it is elastic and soft, and can be rounded and flattened at will.
But for a man, a masculine name is more important than anything else, but it is obvious that his ** parents did not realize this problem.
When the couple had a conflict, they were tortured every day and every other day. They were so tormented that they had no time to sit down and give their eldest son a resounding name. As a result, he ended up with "Kidney Bean". Hui Chang's name, which has no temperament, has been with him for six years.
It wasn't until he reached school age and had to change his official name that the couple realized the seriousness of the matter. They spent the whole night looking through the dictionary but couldn't find a suitable name. Finally, as a last resort, Han Mama's big hand With a wave of his hand, "My son was born in Vancouver, so let's call him Yun Wen."
Yun Jinshu snorted coldly and looked at him with a half-smile, "What's the matter? You still have feelings for Wen Zeyun, and are you going to borrow a son to express your feelings?"
Han Jiang's face turned green immediately, he smiled awkwardly, and said flatteringly, "Oh, I didn't do anything just now. Look, I just don't stay up late during pregnancy, and now you are hallucinating."
"roll."
Yun Jinshu threw him two white hygiene balls and changed his position on the chair. Han Jiang immediately put a backrest on his back like a fool, "If not, our son's name will be Yunhua. He has a special temperament when he hears it. "
"Haha." Yun Jinshu sneered, "Yunhua, Yunhua, you don't like having a daughter, right?"
Han Jiang took a deep breath and felt deeply that the pregnant husband's temper was terrible and capricious, but his wife was in charge of the life and death of the family. He had knelt on the washboard for three months and didn't want to do it again.
"I'm unjust... I'm a good party, and it's the same for boys and girls. If I have a boy who doesn't study, it's better to raise a pig!"
"Okay, okay, don't hang around in front of my eyes, it will make me dizzy."
Yun Jinshu yawned and waved his hands. He was trying to stay awake to find a name for his son. It was already three in the morning and he was really sleepy.
Han Jiang learned the lesson now and came closer, "Dear, how about this? Just open the dictionary and point to a word. If you choose me, immediately say hello to the leader of the police station where you settled."
"Hmm..." Yun Jinshu responded casually. He was not feeling well right now and was sleepy and weak. At this moment, he heard Han Jiang talking endlessly in his ears. He leaned on the chair and almost fell asleep in a daze.
As soon as Han Jiang heard his wife's order, he didn't dare to delay. He carefully held the dictionary to Yun Jinshu's hand and watched him flip through a few pages randomly without opening his eyes. He pointed at a word and said, "... um... just This is it.”
Han Jiang slapped his thigh and said, "Yunge, what a good name. Wife, you are such a good rape flower!"
Yun Jinshu had no energy to talk to him anymore and fell asleep leaning on the soft cushion. He didn't hear what Han Jiang was doing at all, and even in his daze, he didn't even remember that he had chosen such a deceptive name for his son.
After all, Han Jiang was a second-generation red man. Even though he had been in jail, and even now he was "taking care of his husband and raising his children" at home, he still had great connections and skills. He made a phone call to the police station, and the comrade on duty that night gave him a brand new red household registration booklet. Arrive at Emerald Villa.
As a result, the three words "Yunge" became an eternal shame in the hearts of Kidney Bean's friends.
He has always wanted to have a domineering name, such as Yun Batian, Yun Jingang, Yun Yingxiong, etc., but "Yun Ge" is too girly, not cool and handsome at all, and it really affects his iron-bloodedness. The image of a true man!
For this reason, he had protested to the couple countless times, but Yun Daba's pregnancy syndrome was very scary and would explode immediately. Han Mama did not dare to disobey "Yi Zhi", so she could only fool the child in a few words, "Yun Ge". The word spread, and even during class, a blushing boy came to express his love, "Ge...Ge...GeGe, I miss you."
Hey, hey, you uncle! I'm not a hen!
Thus, the seeds of "Daddy Mommy doesn't love me" were once again planted in Kidney Dou's young mind...
This day is Baozi's first birthday. According to ancient customs, adults have to prepare Zhouzhou gifts for their children. The so-called "Zhuzhou" is to put scissors, brushes, coins, snacks and other objects in front of the children and let them Just catch it based on your feeling. Whatever you catch will mean which industry your child will engage in in the future.
Originally, according to the wishes of Yun Jinshu and Han Jiang, they wanted to give Kidney Dou a make-up for Zhou Li, but the eldest son was really overage, and the foodie might have snatched away all the snacks as soon as Zhou Li started.
After much deliberation, the two finally made no preparations for their eldest son. As a result, Kidney was heartbroken again and stayed in her brother's bedroom, moaning and unhappy.
"I'm so tired, I feel like I can't love anymore..."
The guy was sitting on the bed with a grown-up look on his face, sighing, but he was still grabbing the toy with his younger brother.
"... Wu ah... Wu ah..."
Baozi was very innocent at heart. When he saw that his brother was always dancing (?) for him to see, he was unhappy, so he threw himself into his arms, rubbed his chubby face against his brother's body, and stuck his butt up to the sky, revealing the pink and tender diapers. Tender hellokitty.
Kidney Bean looked at him with a look of disgust, and couldn't help but poke at her younger brother's white and tender PP.
Tu Yan! It's obviously a crime to have such a soft and cute butt. Let me tell you, I don't accept this!
With this thought in mind, I didn't forget to pinch my brother's PP again.
Seeing that his brother ignored him, Baozi didn't give up. He raised his head and stood up unsteadily on his shoulders. He kissed Kidney Dou's cheek, then narrowed his big eyes into a slit, and smiled like a chubby dog. Lucky Cat.
Damn it! Is it a foul play to be cute
Kidney Bean covered his chest and was instantly killed on the bed. His younger brother crawled onto his chest and lay still like a turtle. His ability to act coquettishly was not inferior to that of his older brother who wore crotchless pants back then.
At this time, Kidou, who had a resentful look on his face, suddenly glanced sideways and saw the tray placed on the other side of the bed. There were many objects in it that would be used to catch Zhou Li later. The boy had an idea and laughed evilly.
HIAHIAHIAHIA... Aren't you going to give me a birthday gift? Why don't you give me a name that's not cool at all? Aren't you taking away daddy and mother's love
Today, I will let you see what "black belly" means!
Thinking of this, Kidou sat up quickly, and the meat ball lying on her body fell down on the bed and rolled a bit. She looked at her brother with her big watery eyes, "Woooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo... Already
The evil brother looked up to the sky and laughed, squatting beside the bed and taking out the things in the tray one by one.
In fact, the so-called Zhuzhou ritual has evolved into modern times and is no longer used to predict the future of children. More parents like to use this method to name their children.
For example, parents will look through the dictionary in advance, select some of their favorite words, make slips of paper and stuff them into objects used to catch the week. When the time comes, the children will use whatever word they grab, which is convenient and auspicious.
Obviously, Yun Jinshu and Han Jiang, a cheating couple, learned the lesson of naming their eldest son. This time they went through the dictionary a month in advance and chose many cool, handsome, and domineering words for Baozi. But like this In the eyes of the rebellious and melancholy eldest son, his behavior became an out-and-out favoritism.
A novel app that has been running stably for many years, comparable to the old book-chasing tool, a source-changing app used by old bookworms, huanyuanapp.org
Therefore, Kidney Bean finally seized the opportunity to avenge his shame this time, and of course he would not let it go easily, HIAHIAHIAHIA...!
The guy shrank his head and took out the notes one by one from the Zhou Zhou object. Although he didn't recognize many of the characters, the characters with so many spicy strokes made him look particularly evil and sinister at first glance. He was so refreshing. Envious and jealous, I picked up the watercolor pen and started writing on the blank paper.
Humph, give me such a girly name, and I want my younger brother to accompany me! You bad guys!
Although Kidney Bean has not finished the first grade and cannot write many words, this does not prevent him from playing tricks on his younger brother because he can understand Chinese Pinyin. Isn't it particularly annoying!
When it was almost noon, Gu Yan and Zhao Hanchuan came to attend their son's birth ceremony with gifts.
The gift Gu Yan brought was a pair of golden rabbits. Yun Jinshu took a look at it with a smile, "You give such a child such an expensive thing. It seems that the actor Gu has a rich family."
Gu Yan winked at him, picked up the tea cup and took a sip, "I don't dare to take this seriously. You are now the most powerful person in the Han family, and you have tens of billions in your hands. How can I dare to compare with you? Just because of your children, you should be given expensive gifts." Things like money can’t buy.”
Yun Jinshu smiled and shrugged, and Zhao Hanchuan came up to him at this time, "Actually, Gu Yan is quite good at giving away things. That day I went to Wufeng Mountain to burn incense and made a fortune telling for your son. This guy is missing something in his life. Water and gold, holding a golden rabbit and playing with it is auspicious."
"Then what did Mr. Zhao bring?"
At this time, Han Jiang walked down the stairs with Baozi in his arms, followed by Kidney Bean. The guy was wearing a bear sweatshirt, and he looked like he was fresh and fresh.
Zhao Hanchuan chuckled, with a hint of amusement on his face that was always cold to outsiders, and took out a bottle of mineral water from his pocket, "Gu Film Emperor gave me gold, so of course I have to give him water. I brought this water from the plane." When we come back, there is no snow or water on the plateau at an altitude of 5,000 meters."
"..." Everyone made a sound, looking down on this hard-nosed rooster.
The four adults chatted together for a long time, taking turns holding Baozi, kissing and rubbing each other. The guy was not impatient and giggled at everyone. He was silly and stupid, and once again captured the hearts of the two godfathers.
At 11 noon, the Zhouzhou ceremony officially began.
Baozi lay on the sofa and stared at the large plate of colorful things in front of him. His eyes widened in curiosity and shock. His chubby hands pinched this and touched that. The four adults watched intently and did not forget to come up with bad ideas.
"Grab that pink Mr. Mao. Come on, grab it and give it to your Godfather Zhao."
"Old Zhao, what do you know? Jinshu's child must become an artist in the future. Baby, listen to your godfather Gu and grab that flute."
"Hey, hey, that's enough for you two. I, the real father, am still here. Don't give me random orders."
"Aiyou, isn't Master Han at home taking care of his husband and raising his children as a mother? Why are you interfering with what we elders are saying now?"
"Zhao Hanchuan, just wait, don't let Li Ke deal with you!"
"Okay, okay, it's over or not, your son has been captured, why are you three still shouting?"
Yun Jinshu picked up his son and put him on his lap, and rolled his eyes at the three very embarrassing men across from him. Kidney Dou came up and asked bluntly, "Dad, what did my brother catch? Look, I want to see it!" "
The three quarreling men came over and stared at the embroidered purse and rattle in the guy's hand.
Yun Jinshu unpacked the things unhurriedly and took out two pieces of paper, but frowned as soon as he saw them.
Who's going to tell him what's going on with this cheating Chinese Pinyin
"TING, TINGTING Yuli"
"Yun, dad's last name"
The four adults were stunned for a moment, and then they laughed uncontrollably. It must be Kidney Bean who was causing trouble again. Who would write the word "Dad" on a note? You idiot.
Yun Jinshu smiled and rubbed his forehead, and was about to call Kidney Dou over, but the guy standing aside said "Wow" and ran away with his head in his hands. For fear of being fucked by his father, he still shouted loudly: "Brother, save me!"
Unexpectedly, Baozi is really very loyal, and it is not for nothing that his brother "dances" for him every day. He is on all fours and rolling around on the sofa, which is almost cute.
Han Jiang laughed so hard that he grabbed Yun Jinshu's hand and said, "Forget it, these two living treasures are willing to fight and the other is willing to suffer. They are making out, so don't worry about it so much."
Of course, Yun Jinshu would not really be willing to settle the debt with Kidney Dou, but now he had a headache, "What about the naming? Ting and Yun, no matter how they sound like girls, Zhou can only be arrested once, and he will not be arrested again. It works.”
Han Jiang touched his chin, glanced at Zhao Hanchuan and snapped his fingers, "Didn't Lao Zhao's son just lack water in his life? Just give 'ting' the same pronunciation as 'ting', which means thunder."
Gu Yan laughed when he heard this and nodded, "If we go this way, I have an idea. 'Yun' and 'Yun' have the same pronunciation. If this baby is short of gold in his life, he will add another gold character next to it and call it 'Jun'." "
Yun Jinshu's eyes lit up instantly, "Han Tingjun, Thunderbolt, please pay attention to this!"
"Woo... Wu ah..." Baozi still didn't know what was going on. He sat on the sofa stupidly and tilted his head with a cute look on his face.
Han Jiang picked up his son, kissed him and smiled, "Son, your name will be Han Tingjun from now on."
"Ouch~"
The eldest baby looked at his father and laughed, and laughed too. Then he let out a PP excitedly, and then he saw Han Jiang's face turn green and his face was full of guilt, "Fuck! My son pulled me all over him!"
The three remaining men in the living room burst into laughter instantly. Young Master Han, who is the husband and godson of his son, is so virtuous! Give me a good review dear!
And Kidney Bean's friend squatted in the corner of the living room, silently drawing circles.
Tuyan, Tuyan, Tuyan... you bad guys! I want to run away from home!
That night, Kidney Bean's friend carried his yellow duck schoolbag and lucky cat piggy bank and embarked on a journey to run away from home. When he passed by his brother's room, he couldn't help but go in and poke Q's butt, but he was caught by his brother. She took off her clothes and exposed her belly for him to touch, but the touch never came to fruition.
It's a foul to be cute! QAQ
The author has something to say: Okay, this is the end of the extra chapter. Gu Yingdi may write another article, so I won’t write it anymore~ The new article is being saved and will be published in a few days.
Customization will be launched in the next two days. Girls who want to receive a copy can save the author's column. There will be a site short notice at that time. Portal: Finally, thank you for accompanying me all the way. See you in the new article~(≥▽≤ )
PS: Thank you longlong, Asak Huangtu, Mengmengka, and Eleven Qiu girl for the mine~╭(╯╰)╮
!