01
Something big has happened to the elf kingdom.
The elf prince was kidnapped by the dragon.
It is said that on the night of the incident, someone saw an evil dragon flying out of the prince's bedroom, and the sleeping prince was lying in the dragon's claws.
This dragon lives in the Dragon Castle of the Lost Continent, separated from the Elven Kingdom by countless mountains, rivers and swamps. The angry Elven King sent Asa, the best warrior in the kingdom, to rescue the prince.
The mage Carter raised objections to the Elf King's decision: Why did His Majesty only send one person there
Elf King: It is written in the history books that the best warrior in the kingdom defeated the dragon by himself.
Carter: But that idiot Asa can't tell the difference between north and south.
Asa was angry: Who are you calling an idiot!
Elf King: Asa, can you tell the difference between south, east and north
Asa: I can't tell.
Elf King: ...
Carter bowed gracefully and petitioned: Your Majesty, please allow me to go with Asa. I am the smartest mage in the kingdom. I can act as Asa's eyes. When Asa is cold, I will burn mana to keep him warm. When Asa is hungry, I will conjure bread and milk. When Asa's mount is tired, I will spread out the magic carpet and let him fly. I will be his most loyal. Travel companions and attendants.
The elf king is impatient: don't talk nonsense, go quickly.
So the mage and the warrior embarked on the road of the brave to save the prince and defeat the dragon.
02
Asa and Carter each rode a horse and galloped across the Demon Lizard Wasteland.
A wand hung from Carter's waist, and a bow and quiver hung from his saddle.
Every elf is a natural archer, even a weak mage knows how to kill the enemy with a bow and arrow, so every best warrior in the elf kingdom is also the most powerful marksman.
Except Asa.
Carter, who is in charge of the library tower, often lends Asa the precious limited edition little pornographic books in his private collection, but Asa dare not read them openly in the daytime, so he can only read at night with a lamp. As a quasi-prey, he had to ask the dwarf blacksmith to tailor two tomahawks for him, and put them on his waist, which looked really majestic. In last year's Elf Kingdom Warriors Tournament, the elf warriors either used bows and arrows or elegant long swords, so when Asa rushed up with two dwarf battle axes, everyone was stunned. The previous tutorials on dealing with battle axes were all It was aimed at clumsy and stout dwarves. Asa was tall and agile, and even used a battle ax. As a result, he won the first place in a daze, and got the honorary trophy of the strongest warrior in the kingdom.
Carter felt that these were all his own credit: You see, if you didn't see myopia from reading pornographic books, how could you use a tomahawk
Asa's response to this was only one word: fuck off.
Carter: Are the little porn books good
Asa: Looks good, hehehe.
03
On the Demon Lizard Wasteland, there are many huge and ferocious monsters.
The two rode on the wasteland for three days and three nights. When they were about to walk out of this area, they were attacked by a large number of monster lizards. The horses of the two were eaten by the monster lizards. Asa only had time to rescue part of the dry food. Fortunately, The group of monster lizards who were busy devouring horse meat did not continue to chase the two of them. The two walked out of the wasteland and entered the witch swamp.
While walking, Asa bragged to Carter about his achievements in fighting the monster lizard in the wasteland: If I hadn't tried my best to protect you, you would have become the shit of the monster lizard at this moment.
Carter shrugged: Maybe.
Asa slid step by step on the muddy ground of the Witch Swamp, gritted his teeth and looked at Carter, who was sitting comfortably and flying on the magic carpet: So that's how you repay the savior
Carter didn't change his face: I'm sorry too, but the flying carpet can only carry one person.
Asa: What did you say in front of His Majesty the King? When my mount is tired, you will fly me on a magic carpet.
Carter: But your mount is not tired but dead.
Asa yelled: Are you playing word games! Sure enough, mages are a bunch of cunning liars!
Carter pretended to be displeased and said: Forget it, in order not to let you slander our innocent mages, I will give you a chance.
Asa: What
Carter: I have a request. If you can complete it, I will give you the flying carpet I am riding on.
Asa said confidently: Okay, tell me, what is your request
Carter's lips twitched: Give me a dance.
Asa: Excuse me? ?
Carter looked sanctimonious: Striptease or pole dance, choose one of the two, don't say I didn't give you the freedom to choose.
Asa roared: How can there be steel pipes in the swamp
Carter deadpan: Oh, no.
Asa: So you just want to watch me striptease
Carter raised his eyebrows: Jump or not? As soon as you jump on my magic carpet I'll give it to you, I swear.
In fact, at this time Asa didn't care whether he was on foot or on a flying carpet, but he really wanted to see that bastard Carter slipping on the muddy ground.
04
So ten minutes later.
Carter complained dissatisfied: Is this also called striptease? You just take off your clothes one by one.
Asa's face was flushed, and even the pointed elf ears were completely red: I... I kept clapping my hands, and twisted my waist a few times, didn't you see
Carter waved his hand: Forget it, it’s cheaper for you.
Asa gloated and said, "Give me the flying carpet."
Carter jumped off the worn-out flying carpet with its frayed edges, took out a brightly colored new flying carpet from his magic backpack, and said, "Light Carpet 2000, new this year, as agreed, the old one will be given to you." up.
Asa froze for a moment, then jumped angrily: ... Wait a minute! fuck you! Mages are all liars! fraud!
The author has something to say: _(:з」∠)_... Dig a small hole~