The Experimental Log of the Crazy Lich

Chapter 26: Sad Paladin

Views:

"Fifteen years ago, I was still studying hard at the low-level warrior academy. I used to be the pride of my parents and teachers, and I was a typical example of 'how other people's children are so outstanding' in front of the villagers."

"Just ten years old, I have mastered more than ten basic combat skills, and successfully entered the black iron rank, known as the pride of the academy, a future hero, I am always surrounded by lovely school girls who admire me. "

"'The genius in class B? He, he has mastered continuous counterattacks, right? After ten years of hard work, he may be half as good as me." , I thought that those days would last forever, when I grow up, I will become a big hero, marry Bai Fumei, until that day..."

"'Divine talent? Admission notice from Holy Light Academy? Become a glorious paladin, I'll go, I'll go'"

At that time, I had long been longing for the glittering paladin, and when I received the admission notice, I was ecstatic, but vaguely ignored the worried expressions of my parents.

"Honorable Paladin? It looks bright, but in reality, it's just the beginning of a nightmare..."

"Graduation equals unemployment? How is it possible, I'm a genius knight that I see once in ten years at the Paladin Academy!! Look at my Holy Light!! Look at the Glory Charge!!"

"Sorry, we are all devout priests, we need people who can preach and preach, not murderers who fight and kill. Our department has 12 people, and it has been oversized to 24 people. All of them are Paladins. Those who graduated from the academy are still your seniors, so why should they make way for you?"

"I... I can be a freelance adventurer."

"Sorry, as a priest who has received holy grace, you are obliged to repay your cultivation by the Holy Light Church with your labor. The Seventh Church lacks a volunteer to clean the altar and toilet... However, volunteers are not paid, St. Light will reward your efforts. Don't worry, it won't take long, three years will pass quickly."

I still remember the look that old pastor turned his head back then. "Sample, new here, right? Old man, I've been in the business for 20 years, and I didn't turn into a regular until my hair turned white. You're a brat, let's be full."

"I... I'm going to be a freelance adventurer, it's okay!!"

Sure, but I didn't expect that, that's where the nightmare begins...

After three years, I finally became a freelance adventurer on schedule. Why three years later? If you don't want to be hunted down by the church, how can you save the three years of voluntary service...

Well, seeing that my juniors have become the backbone of the veteran and adventurer team, while sighing, I am not discouraged. I am confident. With my silver rank strength, I will soon be able to do it. Will become a star in the eyes of everyone again.

But soon, the harsh reality hit me in the head.

"No? Why, I, a paladin of the silver rank, is willing to become a member of your group of bronze warriors, you should be happy. Could it be... because I am a paladin again."

The thief on the opposite side nodded.

"The paladins have a lot of nonsense and discipline, can you tolerate undead and half-demon teammates, can you communicate with the gray organization, can you shut up when the loot is distributed? We adventurers often have to do dirty work. Can you guarantee that you will not talk nonsense in your adventures and obey orders?"

Of course not! The teachings of the church clearly stipulate that all lost property will be returned to the original owner. If the original owner cannot be found, it should be handed over. Evil Chaos! We are at odds with you!

Well... I'm not allowed to join the adventure team, I'll form a team myself...

The team formation went smoothly. The Adventurer's Guild and the tavern were full of paladins and priests who could not find a team. Soon, our "Glorious Land" team set off on a smooth journey.

but…

"What's the matter with not being able to get paid? That's not waiting to starve to death."

"Didn't your mentor teach you when you came out to take an adventure? We are all knights who serve the Holy Light and the public. The nature of the clergy's adventure can only be regarded as a journey to accumulate experience. It is our obligation to help the troubled people. Since it is Obligation, how can you get paid?"

"I can't make money, my dry-haired adventurer, I'm going to starve to death!!"

The senior smiled mysteriously, he did have a way, and this was the old way for the Paladin adventurers not to starve to death.

It turns out that we really can't get paid, but if it's a donation to the church, we can keep a third of it as our own return, but...

"Since it's a donation, it's natural not to think too much, but if you kill an ogre group, you will give a copper plate. It's only enough to buy two black breads, but not enough for me to buy medicine. By the way, two-thirds of the copper plate will be paid. to the church…”

"That's fine. You haven't met a request from a goblin. That's the worst thing to do?"

"kindness?"

"You can't count how much you donate, let alone whether you don't donate, what to donate... If you encounter a stingy goblin, it's a good thing not to donate. If you donate half a ton of heavy stone, you have to carry it back and cut it into three pieces, and hand over two pieces... As a senior, let me remind you that if the goblins really give you engineering supplies that look good, they should be thrown away immediately if they violate the teachings. It will either be an exploding experiment and use you as an experiment, or it will be a bomb, or Take you as an experiment"

"By the way, be careful with the murlocs. Last time I helped the murlocs clean up the coastline, the group of murlocs donated a lot of stinky muddy fish. On a hot day, it stinks halfway through. The smell can be smelled ten miles away... As a result, I rushed under the waterfall for three days, and I still remember when I received the donations, the pastor's sister looked at me with contempt, she was just looking at dirty things."

The addition of the pastor's companion is very funny, but I can't laugh, but I want to cry inexplicably.

"There are also half-sheep people, it's a fool, those stingy things actually use wool as a reward, it's still Rengen's!! You can imagine, grab a handful of wool in one hand, walk a few steps, and count it again, So as not to miss a few, do you feel that you can't turn it in..."

"There are also the same kind of paladins. Everyone is very poor, but they don't want to pit each other. That time I met one..."

Soon, the consultation turned into a complaint meeting of my companions, and I became more and more despairing of my future career as a paladin.

"... At least, the paladins are shining with gold, and they are very feminine!!"

But soon, reality hit me hard again.

"Do you have a house? Do you have a mount? Do you have any savings?"

I live in a public dormitory, which is full of sweaty men. Naturally, it cannot be used for marriage. There are mounts that the church sends, but how can I afford the war horses? , During the war, the fodder was reimbursed by the public... As for the savings, hehe, hello girl, goodbye girl.

After being attacked several times, I finally met a simple and lovely girl who doesn't care about my poor conditions and is willing to fall in love with me!

"Ah, how beautiful and kind she is, she is my goddess."

When the strange thing is that we hold hands at most, take a walk together, and have a deeper relationship, she always refuses.

At that time, I was very strange, but I tried to endure it. After all, she was so pure, but five years later, I was thirty years old, and I couldn't bear it any longer, so I dared to ask.

"Ah? Paladins are not knights of gods, do you want to abstain from sexual desire for life?"

"I X!! We are paladins, not monks (a few monks who make vows of abstinence will stay away from women for life)!"

It took me a lot of effort to get her to understand the difference between a monk and a paladin, but what followed was a desperate answer.

"That... I'm sorry, I just came to you because I wanted to talk about pure spiritual love. I can't promise you that, can we still be friends in the future?"

"Friend?! My friend, your sister! I'm 30 years old!!! My classmates have a dozen children."

That night, in the dormitory full of stinky men, I cried like a mess, but my colleagues silently sat beside me and comforted me.

"Do you know Ailu? That genius Paladin of Lucca City?"

I think of the winner in life, his girlfriend, beautiful and rich.

"Why do you mention him? I don't think I'm sad enough."

"He has fallen, and has transformed into a chaotic minion, the black knight. His white rich and beautiful girlfriend is a devil, and only approached him in order to make him fall..."

"Which number is this? Beforehand, many people in the church had long suspected that why such a good woman would look for the Paladin and gave him a warning, but he didn't believe it, no, probably, he himself knew it. It's just that I'm deceiving myself and wanting to enjoy a more happy life."

"Heh, everyone is numb, the women they seek out will basically be rejected, the ones who take the initiative to come over are basically problematic, and the church doctrine prohibits everyone from spending money to solve physical problems. Even solving it yourself is an evil that is explicitly forbidden. Behavior… "

"We are humans! Not beasts! Two days ago, the romance between the two Paladins in Xishan was exposed, and they were expelled from the church. They were all my comrades in arms, and I even sent them away, but it seems that they are I'm very happy that we can be together in the future... But they are all men! It turns out that they are normal people who like women! After a long time, things will really happen! There are more and more gays in the church!"

"Actually, I'm beginning to think that men can barely accept it..."

"Actually, me too, or let's try?"

Since the sudden appearance of the speed-dating "couple" that day, I have been completely desperate, living like a walking dead...

"Want to leave the Templar Church? Not a Paladin? You don't have any other skills to support your family, and you're two years old. It's easier said than done from scratch. The only thing that can be seamlessly transferred is the Black Knight. Are you sure you want to try it? ?"

When I was despairing of life and even sent to the dangerous underground world, I didn't refuse. What is the danger? At least I can stay away from more and more gays around me!

But here, the turning point of life came suddenly.

"Nanxiang Law School? Recruiting short-term training students, recommending jobs? Paladins are admitted without exams! Is this true?"

"Try it, it can't be any worse anyway."

I entered Nanxiang with a fluke mentality. After all, the older I get, the slower I learn things.

But soon, I discovered that the power of the law they taught was actually not much different from my power of holy light. The silver light of the law, like the holy light, was a subordinate concept of the source of order, with many skills and abilities. Can be easily converted, very fast to get started.

Plus, they really do work! ! No, it's not that I have a job, it's that I haven't graduated yet. I am an old guy who is actually being competed by more than a dozen family units.

"Sheriffs, police officers, judges and other judicial people are all well-known upper-class people in society! I am a useless old fellow, and there is a day when the dead trees are in the spring!"

"We don't have any annoying churches or gods to serve. We believe in the law and maintain justice and fairness, but we, too, have to eat. The academy we came out of Nanxiang is easy to deal with criminals and villains. Loosely, just don’t become a public official such as a sheriff, you can easily trust all kinds of security work, and also belong to the order camp, a fair knight will never commit crimes, strictly abide by oaths and secrets, win the trust of employers, and get promoted It's really fast."

At that time, the teacher spoke generously on the stage, but I didn't believe it very much after having experienced too much.

"But after that, everything changed!! As the teacher said at the time, after graduation, I took a job in a large chamber of commerce. I only needed to work at the front desk for 20 days a month to drive away those troublemakers and maintain law and order. , the monthly salary is actually 10,000 gold coins, 10,000 gold coins!! It’s more than 200 times that of a paladin! You don’t need to be exposed to wind and rain, and you don’t need to risk your life!!”

"What, you said that paladins can do it too? Stupid, paladins are knights who serve the gods and the Holy Light, how can they be hired!"

"And, very soon, after saving money to buy a house, I found my beloved! I also bought a cute little dragon horse, with the blood of a red dragon, which can travel thousands of miles a day, and can breathe fire and hurt people. I am finally a knight, Instead of sending the mounts to the infantry of the church."

"Some time ago, I told my former comrades the latest news, and they all came over. Now, everyone has graduated from Nanxiang, some have become city garrison officers, some have become city management officers, and some have become university officials. Judge, those two gay paladins, after making money, actually became their own bosses, married wives, and had sons!!"

"Brother Paladins, let's be fair knights. Let's not talk about the seamless transfer and keep all the power. Everyone is still fighting for order, and the Holy Church will definitely be happy to see everyone's transfer. After all, they don't have much money to support. you guys."

"Which one is stronger in learning order? Find Nanxiang in the underground Sulphur Mountain, learn the technology first and then pay the fee. You will use the Holy Light to enter the entrance exam-free, and the first month's salary will be used as tuition. There is no fee for one month of trial. We Nanxiang Xiang's slogan is to study hard, work hard, get promotion and salary increase, and marry Bai Fumei! Mom no longer has to worry about me finding a job, and I can also be a big boss."

"This is just a propaganda slogan? Are you still worried that you can't find a job? Let me do the math for you. Every city needs police, sheriffs, every business needs security, every government needs a judicial system, What a great job opportunity this is. You, a pioneer of the law, a chong of the times, are you still worried about not finding a job? Come to Nanxiang, you will provide education and a meeting. Graduation from Holy Church College means unemployment. We Nanxiang have not graduated yet. Get a job!"

The above is all the content of a leaflet. The person who signed the letter is the Supreme Judge of the Supreme Court of Sulphur Mountain City.

"Hey, it's going too far. Archbishop of Holy Light, Old Bill, is said to have seen the flyer, passed out on the spot, and almost died of a brain haemorrhage!!"

Yes, I am digging the corner of Holy Light Church, or blatantly digging.

Of course he vomited blood, although the above is the propaganda article I wrote, but all of them are true and credible, and all the sore spots of the church and the clergy.

After all, I used to be a paladin too, and many of these cases are based on real people... A burst of inexplicable heartache resonated, so I couldn't stop thinking to myself, "Fortunately, I'm no longer an unlucky paladin."

At this point, in the face of Adam's question about whether it was excessive or not, I laughed.

"What's wrong, when I handed the flyer to those city officials, they were so happy!!"

They are of course happy. They were not allowed to be completely integrated into the judicial system before, but now they are allowed to practice the power of the law, which is equivalent to my judicial system and Sulphur Mountain City completely accepting them.

They have proven their loyalty with blood and hard work, and it would be too ruthless for me to turn them away.

"...You let all the Knights of the Light of the city management be reorganized into the Knights of the Law? I haven't told Old Bill the news yet. I'm afraid he won't be able to hold on."

"I said, still send someone to report directly!"

"Sir!! You're vomiting blood again!! This is the twentieth time this month! It's going to rain and my mother is going to get married, so I can't control it anymore. Let's go back to the earth."

"The Archbishop is not good. Many paladins and priests saw the flyers and said they were going to Nanxiang, but we couldn't stop them!!"

The Archbishop of Light continues to spit blood...

When I heard Eliza report back to the bishop that the urban management group had converted to her faith, she was first surprised, then vomited blood, and finally staged a farce, I smiled proudly.

"I want you, old boy, to keep your strength when things go wrong, and to preach while people are panicking after the war. If tigers don't eat people, you should be a sick cat, you deserve it!"