"Sure enough, the advertisements on the streets can't be trusted at all."
At dawn the next day, I met Pastor Betty and her friends at the restaurant yesterday, but as a veteran ex-adventurer, I just glanced at it and found that something was wrong with the team and it wasn't just the name. .
No, you don't need a senior adventurer to see that this team is not right, no wonder they let Priest Betty pull people, and the others are completely unreliable!
Among the four friends, the most familiar is the barbarian I met in the restaurant yesterday... thief!
About 2.34 meters tall, my wrists are thicker than my thighs, the leather armor has been shattered by the muscles, and the face is so vicious that it can kill people with its face, and the natural strong racial talent is crazy and far surpasses the strength of ordinary people. It can make the barbarian inauguration Berserker without difficulty, but this time, when he met, he actually said a word.
"Violence is not good, so I have not been a big brother for many years, and now I, Agen, is a technical thief."
Tech thief? You tell me you a barbarian is a tech thief? Your god of war will be mad at you alive!
Of course I know what a tech thief is. Those guys are thieves who specialize in relic exploration, traps, mechanism cracking, stealing and other skills. Their most important attributes are not the agility and strength of regular thieves, but the ability to crack mechanisms, traps, and mastery. The intelligence of relevant knowledge and skills, this is a profession that a fool can't be, and because all the time and energy is invested in the mastery of skills, the combat power five is higher, basically, the combat power is zero.
However, because this profession does not require combat ability, it is the patent of dwarf adventurers who are born with lack of strength and clean hands and feet. Their small size can already avoid some traps aimed at normal people, coupled with flexible skills and natural The brain with intelligence bonus is simply the most perfect technical thief.
And if I remember correctly, the barbarian's racial talent has a bonus to strength, while the intelligence has a penalty. Once mad, the intelligence directly drops to about 3, which is no different from the beast, even to say a complete sentence All are difficult.
With his outstanding natural strength, if he took up a job as an assassin who specializes in combat, I could only say "a more alternative choice". As a result, this guy actually took up the job of a technical thief that requires the most IQ. I can only say this. Basically it must be a piece of shit.
"... Demeanor, I'm a Paladin now. It's too bad to roar and spit at random."
While trying to suppress the urge to vomit in his heart, he squeezed out a smile and nodded.
"May the Light bless you, friend."
And the huge body suddenly hugged me, and the big tears couldn't stop dripping, and they all wet my vest.
"You... you're the first one who didn't laugh at me!"
"This savage brother, everyone has the right to choose their own path, how can I laugh at you."
"You, you are Agen's brother from today on, those who mock Agen deserve to be kicked away by Agen!"
Seeing that Agen didn't fly the new partner, the faces of the surrounding friends were not joyful, but undisguised disappointment. Obviously, they originally planned to watch the fun, what kind of people are these!
And the second one I introduced was the female pastor I met yesterday. She looked normal.
"I'm Betty Wences, you can also call me Betty, I'm a boy."
Well, in an instant the most normal becomes the most abnormal...
"I'm a paladin, I'm a paladin, I'm a paladin. The number one priority of a paladin - head can be broken, blood can flow, hairstyle... don't mess with your smile!"
He kept chanting the mantra of calmness in his heart, but his expression still condensed for a moment, and then he resumed his standard professional smile and extended his right arm to him.
"Mr. Brady, it's nice to see you again."
"Wow! This guy can still keep smiling! Just like what Betty said, he has a super realistic fake smile on his face. It is said that a paladin's power is proportional to his ability to fake a smile, and even knowing that Betty's sister is a man can maintain a smile, Isn't this amazing?!"
"I heard it all, asshole!"
The veins on his forehead were already protruding, but he silently said "I didn't hear it, I didn't hear it", and continued to smile at this wonderful team.
And the little girl who was laughing at me just now is probably one of the few normal people in this team. She has a thick five-short body, a simple face, a small flying hammer around her waist, a strong voice, and a long golden ponytail that almost drags to the ground. , this is the specialty dwarf aunt in the Alaidun Mountains area... girl!
Dwarves are not uncommon in this world. There are gray dwarves underground, and mountain dwarves and shield dwarves on the mountains. Although they are not tall, they have enough vigor (strength bonus) and strong physique (physical bonus). Blacksmiths, Warriors, miners, sons of earth bold and straightforward, are born warriors.
Of course, there are advantages and disadvantages. Dwarves are generally short-footed and slow to respond. It is impossible to expect them to jump around like elves, but dwarf shield guards are world-renowned excellent defenders. There is such a dwarf in If so, the team doesn't have to worry about the lack of meat shields at all.
"Hello, paladin brother, I'm Mary, Mary the Longbow."
As she said that, the female dwarf pointed directly at the iron wood longbow behind her.
Well, should that be taken for granted? Sure enough, there are no normal people in this team. A dwarf will actually become a professional longbowman of elves. Your mountain bloodline is crying!
"Nice to meet you, Miss Mary."
"No, I'm Mrs. Mary. I'm married and have two cubs. My man is too unsatisfactory, so I asked him to take care of the children at home, and I came out to work to make money."
"Pfft, she's really a dwarf mother!"
Looking at this "square and upright" face, I don't know what to say.
There is a saying that the only difference between male dwarves and female dwarves is that male dwarves have sharper voices. Well, you read that right, male dwarves have sharper voices. This is mainly due to the colloquialism of dwarf aunts. , as soon as he exited the mouth, he was shocked and the echoes continued.
And looking at the appearance, female dwarves will also have beards, and male dwarves also like to braid. It is difficult for outsiders to distinguish between men and women, and their aesthetics are also very strange. What's so fascinating about "bearded"
Due to the difference in aesthetics, it is difficult for outsiders to distinguish between men and women and age, but generally the dwarves who come out to take risks are "young people" in their seventies and eighties, so I also think she is a "girl", but since this aunt Mary said that she has She gave birth to two children. According to the 120-year-old dwarf being an adult, this one is estimated to be more than 200 years old.
Well, there are already three wonderful teammates. I'm already numb. The last teammate is a handsome elf. The fancy leather armor and the three-stringed piano on the back show his identity, a handsome elf. travelling poet.
"Hello, I'm Soronor."
Yes, the etiquette is normal, the appearance is normal, the name is normal, and the occupation is normal, but inexplicably, my gentleman's intuition tells me that the person in front of me is definitely not normal, and the cold vest reminds me that I am in crisis .
"... As expected, Solo fell in love with the other party."
"Big Brother Soronor is good in everything. Just this hobby, several soldiers were scared away... But it's not like this, we can't become sisters."
My sharp five senses made me hear the discussion, and this time, the smiling face was finally shattered.
"Me, me, me, are you gay?"
"...Please don't say it so harshly, I just like handsome young men."
As I was talking, the handshake turned into a secret squeeze, and immediately my goosebumps arose.
"My X, what kind of monsters and ghosts, don't let go! Eat my broken shoes!"
Well, the first time we met, it finally turned into a full martial arts, and I was out of breath after stomping gays under my feet.
"Should Corros be in the church here? Looks like I need a healing smile."
Inexplicably, I think if there is that wild elf's smile, my mood will be much better.
"Pfft, you're so disgusted by a gay man, are you going to find a pseudo-mother to cure it? You can't be saved either."
The taunting of the dead cat came as scheduled, but I didn't have the strength to fight with her. Who are these people? I'm afraid that the entire Dream Forest will not be able to find a more bizarre adventurer team. Is my luck so bad?
"Dead cat, meow is cute."
"Meow, master, people want to drink milk, they want white, turbid, and fishy."
Well, this dead cat instantly turned into a young blond cat girl, with yellow cat ears, tail, and fluffy meatball gloves, deliberately speaking ambiguous and sweet, and licking her lips while talking. His eyes looked at me like silk, and he seemed very hungry. In an instant, I stood up... um, my goosebumps all stood up.
"Go, it's you, Heloise, turn into a meteor in the sky."
Immediately, it was forced to turn into a dead cat, and then stomped on the ground violently. A standard javelin throw was thrown, and it was thrown into the air and turned into a meteor.
"Dead wood deserves a lifetime, meow, it's such a disgusting feeling..."
I turned back out of breath, only to find that my friends were talking.
"He actually turned his pet into a woman and was ambiguous with his pet. The difficulty is what the legend says about being sad... what a sad thing."
"Sorrowful wind! It's that legendary pervert!"
It seems that any adventurer you find will know him, Beifeng has really achieved his life pursuit, and he has become famous and famous!
"Don't worry, even if you are sad (it has become an adjective), we will not discriminate against you. Everyone has the right to choose their lover."
Speaking of understanding, Soronor nodded sincerely.
"Ahhh. Being sexually sympathetic to gays!"
At this moment, I really seriously considered the possibility of returning to Styx and starting all over again.
"To be honest, we can rest assured that you are obviously suitable for our team. Normal people will stay for a long time!"
Betty's words made everyone nod, but I wanted to cry without tears.
"I'm obviously a normal person!"
[The King of Gentlemen…]
"You shut up!"
…
Since the initial introduction has been completed, according to the unspoken rules of the adventurer and his party, the next step is to find a simple task to temper and cooperate. The actual combat is more convincing than any words.
The wood spirits' big action was scheduled in three days, and it did not affect the simple hunting mission. We randomly picked up a "100 ghoul fangs" mission in the guild. The Forest of Dreams.
Ghoul is just a corpse-type undead that is slightly more advanced than zombies. It looks like a slender and uglier dwarf zombie. It has little strength but is quite agile. Its teeth and claws have corpse poison. In the hand, there is a high probability that it will turn into another ghoul.
The corpse-type undead can use other corpses to strengthen themselves, and the names of ghouls can show some of their habits. These guys are extremely aggressive, have very smart noses, and are good at ambush and sneak attacks.
The six undead planes are all open. These bloodthirsty guys smell the breath of the living, and there are quite a lot of them. It is not uncommon for ghouls to be around the forest of dreams.
Soon, we found a ghoul group on a hill. It seemed that there were about a dozen of them, and the strongest seemed to be a ghoul king.
I have already asked, the personal strength of this wonderful team is not bad, they are all above the silver rank, ordinary ghouls can handle it with a bronze rank warrior, and the ghoul king is only at the silver rank, so there should be no difficulty.
"For the Holy Light!"
In order to act like a standard paladin who hates the undead as much as possible, and to restore some image, I let out the customary battle cry, and then took the lead in charging.
Then, I came back at a faster pace...
At that moment, I knew why this team couldn't recruit meat shields.
Soronor and "Betty" are both support staff in the back row, that is to say, soy sauce. Mary, who is a longbowman, will not stand in the front line. According to the unspoken rules of adventurers, technical thieves can not participate in the battle. , that is, I am the only one charging.
The ghoul's fangs and claws are poisonous, but how can I be afraid of holding up the epic shield "Umdiroken's Wall of Sighs", and it is my teammates who make me turn around and run!
"You guys sent me from the other side to play with me! Didn't you kill your last teammate?"
Longbowman Mary's longbow is specially made of iron wood. This kind of tree native to the Hengduan Mountains is as hard as iron. The wooden sword made can be used as a real sword, but if it is used to make a bow, it is not something that ordinary people can pull. moveable.
But Mary is a hundred-year-old dwarf warrior, and her brute strength is absolutely no worse than that of a professional warrior. The bow and arrow that should have been erratic and fast turned into a heavy artillery of "Boom!" "Boom!" It is the god of death that may come at any time. If I just bowed my head a little slower, I am afraid that I will be bald now.
And on the other side, the ghoul king has already ganged up with our "tech thief" Agen.
Tech thieves can't fight? Have you ever seen a tech thief with a giant sword? Have you ever seen a tech thief who slashed the flesh and blood of a ghoul king? That's crazy!
Judging from the strengthened muscles and rolled pupils, this is still a high-level "complete madness", which means that while this girl's strength has skyrocketed, she has also turned into a painless and rational killing machine. Only the upper body of the ghoul king was dismantled by him in two strokes. Judging from the eyes staring at me with saliva, I was regarded as the biggest threat target by him!
"Run, Brother Roland! Agen is dizzy, and when he sees blood, his instinct is completely mad, and his six relatives don't recognize it!"
Well, I think I know why this guy doesn't take the job as a soldier. Complete madness is the last killer, but he can't control himself, so as long as he goes to the battlefield, he will kill both the enemy and me!
"You professional cheaters, cheat me!"