The empress dowager lived more and more comfortably in Yinglan Palace. Every morning, the emperor would go for a walk with her. After returning, she would go to the small Buddhist hall to chant scriptures. In the afternoon, she would call the girls she liked Come to Changqiu Palace and wipe the leaf plaque together.
Listening to the charming laughter of those girls, the queen mother also felt that she was much younger.
"Baisuo."
After Nangong Yue dropped a card, Yuan Yuyi was next, but she drew a card and looked at her own cards, but there was no movement for a long time.
Fu Yunyan, who was opposite her, couldn't help urging: "Cousin Yi..."
Yuan Yuyi gritted her teeth, and finally threw down the card she had caught. Who knew that the next moment, she saw the Queen Mother revealing a card, and then said with a smile, "Ai's family is reconciled."
Yuan Yuyi and Fu Yunyan's shoulders drooped together.
"No more fights, no more fights..." Yuan Yuyi angrily threw the leaf card in her hand on the table, pouted and said shamelessly, "After playing for a long time, I saw that I always lost, grandma, my point All the fat powder money will be lost!"
Yuan Yuyi is the granddaughter of the empress dowager, and also the only granddaughter. Among the girls present, Yuan Yuyi is probably the only one who can play tricks on the empress dowager so unscrupulously.
The Empress Dowager who was sitting beside her nodded her forehead, smiling until the smile lines appeared at the corners of her eyes and mouth, and said: "Look at you, you are so rich, you don't even have a hundred taels of silver in total. Your mother just gave you such a little makeup." Money? Then grandma should tell your mother well!"
Fu Yunyan said with a smile: "Empress Dowager, don't you understand? Cousin Yi is trying to renege on her debt!"
Yuan Yuyi stuck out her tongue, and coquettishly shook the Empress Dowager's arm, "Grandmother, I'm your granddaughter, you can't make trouble with me!" .
The Empress Dowager smiled slightly, and nodded her forehead again, "You little girl."
Seeing this, Fu Yunyan intentionally dismantled Yuan Yuyi's platform, "Cousin Yi, you are taking money from the Queen Mother, so what can Ah Yue do?"
Today I played the leaf card for a long time, Yuan Yuyi lost the most, followed by Fu Yunyan, the queen mother was the biggest winner, and Nangong Yue also won a lot.
Well…
Fu Yunyan looked at Nangong Yue's winning chips thoughtfully. To be honest, she suspected that Ayue was giving way to the queen mother! It turned out that Ayue was so good at playing leaf cards.
When Fu Yunyan said this, Yuan Yuyi's pitiful eyes immediately looked at Nangong Yue again.
Nangong Yue laughed, Yuan Yuyi naturally couldn't be short of such a little money, she was just making them happy. She deliberately pretended to think for a long time, and was about to speak when she heard a crisp sound of "bang" coming from the direction of the green yarn cabinet.
Yuan Yuyi's nose moved and she said, "It smells so good! What kind of smell is this?"
Not only her, but everyone else could also smell a faint fragrance, as clear as the sweet spring flowing from the Tianshan Mountains, as elegant and comfortable as the white lotus in the snow-capped mountains.
The queen mother frowned slightly, and said lightly: "Go and see what's going on?"
The court lady Ban Qiu hurriedly went to take orders, and after a while, she came back, and there were two more girls behind her, one tall and one short, the tall one was the third princess, while the short one was only five or six years old, born She has a fair and round apple face, a pair of big watery eyes, and a longevity lock with a blessing and longevity pattern on her neck. She is wearing a bright purple dress embroidered with lotus patterns, which makes her look even more lively and pretty. Four princesses.
Wan Qiu whispered something next to the Queen Mother's ear, and the Queen Mother glanced at the third and fourth princesses indifferently.
The fourth princess raised her eyes to look at the Queen Mother anxiously, then lowered her round apple face again, "Grandmother, yes, it's Wu'er... accidentally broke it..."
She knelt down nervously, waiting for the queen mother to reprimand, but the queen mother smiled indifferently: "It's just a broken bottle of perfume, so it's possible that the emperor's grandmother will blame you for such a trivial matter!" The palace maid winked, "Hurry up and help the fourth princess up to see if she is hurt."
The maid hurriedly went to help the fourth princess.
"Wu'er thanked the imperial grandmother. Wu'er was never hurt." The young fourth princess said in a childlike voice, and stood up flexibly with the help of the maid.
Not only the fourth princess was relieved, but also the third princess. Just now the queen mother played leaf cards with Nangong Yue and the others, the queen mother casually ordered the third princess to take her younger sister to play, now that the fourth princess caused trouble, the third princess was also afraid of being angered by the queen mother because she felt that she could not even take good care of the little baby of the fourth princess.
The third princess was relieved, and hurriedly admitted her mistake: "Grandmother, it's because I didn't like the fourth sister, so I accidentally knocked over the perfume."
The third princess bowed her head and bowed her knees, not noticing that the Empress Dowager looked at her with a trace of displeasure in her eyes, she felt that the third princess was such an adult, and she was not as good as the fourth princess, a child who knew what was wrong and corrected it.
Nangong Yue's eyebrows moved slightly, her eyes flickered, and she suddenly said with a smile: "Empress Dowager, this perfume smells very unique, quiet and elegant, and this is the first time Yue'er has smelled this fragrance."
The queen mother said with a smile: "Yue'er, your nose is clever. This perfume is a tribute from outside the clan, but I, Dayu, have never had it."
When she heard that the perfume was so rare, Yuan Yuyi couldn't help smelling it, and praised: "Grandmother, although the fragrance is light, it lasts for a long time, it is indeed a good product."
The Empress Dowager smiled generously and said, "If you like it, each of you can take a bottle home." Then, she ordered the maids to bring a few bottles of perfume, and each of the girls present had a bottle, including the five-year-old grandma. Doll four princesses.
The girls all saluted and thanked the Queen Mother. Seeing the beautiful little girls standing in a row in front of him, the Queen Mother smiled very kindly, and she seemed to be several years younger.
After playing a few rounds of leaf cards, the girls talked with the Queen Mother for a while in the Changqiu Palace. Seeing that the Queen Mother was tired, they left one by one.
After Nangong Yue and Fu Yunyan parted ways, they brought Baihui back to Jingyue Zhai. Before Xiao Yi came back, the room was quiet and empty. Nangong Yue walked into the inner room and asked Baihui to give her the perfume that the Queen Mother had given her.
After Nangong Yue opened the perfume bottle, she poured some into a white porcelain teacup, put it on her nose and sniffed it for a while, then raised her head thoughtfully.
Even Baihui thought that Nangong Yue just liked this perfume at first, but now she sensed that something was wrong, and asked in a low voice: "Concubine Shizi, what's wrong with this perfume?"
Her heart skipped a beat, this is the queen mother's royal possession.
Thinking of the empress dowager's physical discomfort during this period, the emperor frequently recruited Nangong Yue to treat the empress dowager. Even though Nangong Yue never said something bluntly, Baihui also had some speculations in her heart.
Thinking that Nangong Yue was not the only one who got the perfume, Baihui anxiously said: "Concubine Shizi, then Miss Fu Liu and County Lord Liushuang also..."
"It's okay." Nangong Yue's eyes were slightly cold, she got up and opened the window beside her, "If you only use this perfume..."
Baihui's heart shuddered, and she realized what Nangong Yue meant.
At this time, Lily saluted from outside: "I have met the son."
Xiao Yi is back! Nangong Yue's face was overjoyed, Bai Hui blessed her body, without saying anything, she immediately retreated out with interest, and crossed with Xiao Yi.
"Stinky girl," Xiao Yi walked towards Nangong Yue with a smile on his face, and was about to ask her how she was doing today, but seeing her serious face, she knew that something must be wrong, and changed the tone, "Stinky girl, what happened?"
Nangong Yue recounted the story of the four princesses overturning the perfume in the Empress Dowager's Changqiu Palace today, and finally said slowly: "Ayi, I'm sure there are longevity flowers in this perfume."
Previously, Nangong Yue found mohan grass in the hair oil used by the queen mother. The common feature of mohan grass and longevity flower is that they both have a fragrance. They are non-toxic and harmless when used separately, but if they are used together , it will produce a slight toxin, it is okay to smell it once or twice occasionally, but if it is used for a long time, the accumulated toxin will be fatal.
This kind of toxin will make people's body gradually weak. The queen mother is already old, and if she is weaker, she will not be too noticeable. Until she dies, it may only be regarded as the reason of her age.
Mohen grass and longevity flowers are very common. If it is a coincidence, I am afraid that even a three-year-old child will not believe it.
Xiao Yi's eyes were heavy, but he quickly put all these troubles behind him, because these things delayed his time alone with the stinky girl, it was really not worth the candle!
He smiled and said to Nangong Yue: "Stop talking about these things, brat, have you stayed with the queen mother for a long time today? What have you been doing?"
Nangong Yue was as good as others, and replied: "That is to say, playing the leaf card."
Leaf card? Xiao Yi's eyes lit up, and he asked with great interest, "Did you win or lose?"
Nangong Yue said implicitly: "It's okay. Sister Yi and Liu Niang lost more."
When she said this, Xiao Yi knew it in his heart. Playing leaf cards is a table of four. Since Yuan Yuyi and Fu Yunyan lost more, it means that Nangong Yue and the Queen Mother must be the winners. His stinky girl has never been competitive, and with her temperament, she certainly wouldn't deliberately try to win the Queen Mother.
Xiao Yi praised without hesitation: "Smelly girl, I didn't expect you to play the leaf card well." He was still a little surprised, after all, the Nangong family is a family of poetry and calligraphy. It has nothing to do with the Nangong family.
Nangong Yue humbly cupped her hands and said: "It's still okay." She thought of something, covered her mouth and smiled, her eyes were crescent-shaped, "During festivals, my parents, my brother and I often closed Let's play leaf cards together at the courtyard gate."
Xiao Yi was stunned, his father-in-law had always been a brilliant scholar in his eyes, he couldn't imagine him playing the leaf card, the smile in his eyes was even stronger, and he asked: "Then who is the most powerful of the four of you? "
Nangong Yue smiled mysteriously, and said an answer that surprised Xiao Yi even more: "Brother."
Xiao Yi suddenly realized that his father-in-law and mother-in-law didn't like to play leaf cards, maybe it was just to play cards with his brother-in-law Nangong Xin. Also, my brother-in-law has been mentally impaired since he was five years old, and his father-in-law and mother-in-law have also had a hard time these years. Fortunately, everything is better now.
The corner of Xiao Yi's mouth curled up, and he leaned closer to Nangong Yue, and deliberately lowered his voice: "Stinky girl, do you want to win against Ah Xin?"
Sensing a hint of pride in his tone, Nangong Yue followed his words and said, "Of course I do."
Xiao Yi straightened his chest and said, "Then don't you hurry up and ask me to be your teacher?"
Nangong Yue pretended to be hesitant, looked him up and down and said, "It's not so easy to be my master, what are you good at?"
Xiao Yi said triumphantly: "Leaf cards, throwing chess, Pai Gow, scorpion, horse tag... As long as you come up with it, I am proficient in all of them, and I am invincible all over the world." Would you like to call him big brother?... But if it's against Xiaobai, I'm afraid it's really hard to say.
He thought of something, and said to Nangong Yue: "Smelly girl, wait for me here for a while, I'll go back when I go." He didn't give Nangong Yue a chance to speak, he put his right palm on the window frame, and jumped nimbly out.
Nangong Yue sat leaning against the window amusedly, and after a while, Xiao Yi came back like a gust of wind, with an extra dice Gu made of bamboo tube in his hand.
When he spread his other hand, he saw six white jade dice on his palm, small and exquisite, making people want to play with them just looking at them.
Xiao Yi neatly threw the six dice into the dice Gu, then his right hand moved flexibly, the six dice collided with each other in the dice Gu, like big beads and small beads falling on a jade plate, crisp and sound.
Xiao Yi's ears moved slightly, as if he was listening to something.
He just shook it casually a few times, then put the dice Gu flat on the table, raised the corners of his eyes, seductively, as if saying, open it and have a look.
Nangong Yue did it obediently. When she opened it, she was almost dumbfounded.
I saw the six dice stacked vertically, and the spot on the top one was as red as blood.
Nangong Yue stared dumbfounded, Xiao Yi casually brushed the hair scattered on his chest, and said: "Take them off one by one and have a look."
Nangong Yue obeyed obediently again, only to find that the five dice below all turned up with the same "one point". This move can also be called a miraculous skill, worthy of being the boss of the dandy circle.
It was rare for Nangong Yue to show a trace of respect in her eyes, and Xiao Yi was so proud that his tail almost cocked.
"How is it? Are you qualified to be your master?"
Nangong Yue hurriedly stood up, flicked the corner of her clothes, and flicked her sleeves, and then gracefully learned from a scholar and said to her master: "Your apprentice sees the master."
Xiao Yi raised his brows, his peach blossom eyes sparkled, he coughed dryly and said: "I said disciples, as a teacher, you don't accept disciples casually, you need to have a good discussion about this bunch of cultivation."
It turned out that he was waiting for her here. Nangong Yue couldn't help laughing.
Nangong Yue's eyeballs rolled around, and suddenly leaned over to kiss him on the cheek, looked at him with a smile and said, "Is this enough?"
Xiao Yi had been elated for a long time, but he held back, pretending to be serious and said: "How is this enough?" He pointed to the other cheek.
Nangong Yue threw the veil off his face and said angrily, "It's a good idea."
That delicate appearance made Xiao Yi rippling for a while, he just felt his heart soften, and he wished he could hold her tightly in his arms.
From Xiao Yi's point of view, although he doesn't understand why, there must be a reason why most women in the world will marry after they reach the age of 10! He can't hurt his stinky girl because of his impatience.
Anyway, I've been waiting for so long, and it's not too late for ten months...
Well, ten more months.
Xiao Yi sighed silently, counted the days in his heart, and could only sigh again. How do days go by so slowly!
He put the dice back into the dice Gu as if nothing had happened, waved to Nangong Yue, and taught her to shake the dice Gu with his hands.
Next, I heard the sound of shaking the dice, and the chatter and laughter of the two people came out of the inner room from time to time... The atmosphere of the entire Jingyue Zhai became cheerful and active.
Baihui and Baihe outside exchanged a look, both of them were full of smiles, Baihe deliberately lowered her voice and sighed: "Hey, is the prince trying to turn the concubine into a gambler?"
…
Nangong Yue reported the matter of the perfume to the emperor that day, and the emperor's face turned dark at that time, so he hurriedly asked Eunuch Liu to recruit Lu Huaining.
After that, the emperor used his name to take away all the perfume from the queen mother, and at the same time urgently summoned the head of the Ministry of Internal Affairs to come to Yinglan Palace. Even Guan Yubai was summoned overnight.
Everything was going on in secret. Although the emperor didn't say anything, his face was always gloomy, which made the accompanying ministers feel a little uneasy, and they couldn't help wondering if something happened.
Lu Huaining traced the source all the way, and found that the perfume was paid tribute from outside the domain, while the hair oil came from Jiangnan.
After initially discovering that there was a problem with the hair oil, Lu Huaining ordered the deputy commander to take people to Jiangnan, but it took time to get back and forth, and there was no news yet. As for this perfume, it does not pass through the hands of many people like hair oil. Lu Huaining privately thinks that it will be an excellent entry point. Just in order not to startle the snake, everything needs to be verified quietly, which is not something that can be harvested in three or two days.
On the one hand, the emperor ordered him to investigate quickly, on the other hand, he secretly rejoiced that Nangong Yue had discovered the clue, otherwise the queen mother's life might be in danger.
So, the emperor found a random excuse, and the big reward went to Jingyue Zhai.
Those ministers and nobles saw it in their eyes. They knew that the prince of Zhennan was very favored, but they didn't expect to be so honored. This is not like a proton, but like the emperor's nephew.
All the turmoil from the outside world did not affect Nangong Yue who lived in Jingyue Zhai. Every day, she would visit with Fu Yunyan, Yuan Yuyi and other familiar girls and play together in Yinglan Palace. Feel at ease.
Together in Yinglan Palace, Bai Muxiao finally couldn't hold back seeing Nangong Yue proud of herself.
In the past few days, Bai Muxiao's life in the palace has become more and more difficult. Even the ice in the allowance has been withheld, which made her feel unbearable in this sultry August.
Although she didn't want to rely on men, she had to admit that the only thing she could rely on now was Han Lingfu.
In any case, she had to make Han Lingfu change his mind.
Thinking of this, Bai Muxiao felt sad, is her love becoming more and more difficult to be equal
Bihen had already inquired for her the only way for Han Lingfu to return to her palace, so Bai Muxiao waited there early, her moon-white dress was swaying in the breeze, and her sleeves fluttered like a weeping willow. water.
When seeing her, Han Lingfu showed a look of surprise on his face, and blurted out: "Xiao'er?!"
Ever since the two met and fell in love, he has always lowered his posture and approached Bai Muxiao. This is the first time that Bai Muxiao came to him on his own initiative.
Han Lingfu's heart couldn't help but flutter for a while, but then he remembered what happened on the night of the Mid-Autumn Festival, and his heart sank again.
What he cared about was not that Xiao'er made him lose face, but what he cared about was that Xiao'er lied to him.
All along, he believed in Xiao'er so much that he never doubted her every word, but Xiao'er lied to him!
He was cheated by the woman he loves most...
Over the past few days, this cognition has been echoing in his mind, making him extremely heartbroken. He wanted to ask Xiao'er again and again, but he hesitated again and again.
If Xiao'er really admitted that she had cheated him, it would only make him feel more disappointed!
Bai Muxiao walked over slowly, stopped in front of him, and looked at Han Lingfu with both eyes.
The two looked at each other deeply, and time seemed to stop at this moment.
A deep sadness appeared in Bai Muxiao's eyes, and the water glistened, "Aren't you even willing to ask me? Are you not even willing to give me a chance to explain?"
The light in Han Lingfu's eyes moved slightly, almost wanting to believe her, but the doubts of that night cannot be ignored, let alone Bai Muxiao's few words that can be perfunctory.
Bai Muxiao took a deep breath and said, "If I say, all this is for you, would you believe me?"
For him? Han Lingfu couldn't help being stunned, looking at Bai Muxiao inexplicably.
Bai Muxiao smiled bitterly, and said: "Although I made my own decision, I thought that based on the relationship between us, you would definitely not doubt me like others, but who knows... I have been waiting for you these days , Waiting for you to come to me, but you never came. Maybe I was wrong, and you are nothing more than that to me.” After she finished speaking, she turned around and was about to leave, with a trace of determination in her slender figure, as if after leaving. They will never look back.
"Xiao'er!" Han Lingfu couldn't help but took her hand, only to feel that the tentacles were slippery and soft, which made his heart soften, "It's not what you think, I'm just, just... I haven't had a good time these few days, I wanted to find you, but I was afraid that you would blame me for not speaking for you that day."
Bai Muxiao sighed for a long time, and said softly: "How can I blame you? This is a matter of my own decision, and I have already foreseen the consequences.... Do you also think that the poems I made They are all plagiarized? Then can you tell me where the real source of these poems is? Do you think that it was really done by a failed scholar as they said? Your Highness, let’s leave the rest aside, Jinxinhui Shangnai set up the questions on the spot, how could I know the questions in advance and ask someone to memorize them?"
What Bai Muxiao said was indeed something that Han Lingfu couldn't understand recently, but after hearing what she said with his own ears, Han Lingfu couldn't help thinking deeply again. Just now Xiao'er said that everything she did was for him? Could it be that he really misunderstood something
Bai Muxiao had been paying attention to Han Lingfu's expression all the time, and after a slight sigh of relief, she continued: "...Your Highness, looking back on that day, didn't you find anything else?"
"Other discoveries?" Han Lingfu frowned slightly, and said, "You mean..."
"Marquis An Yi and Prince Zhennan's son."
Han Lingfu was startled, and before he could open his mouth, Bai Muxiao continued, "That day was clearly a game set up by Marquis An Yi and the Prince of Zhennan. Your Highness, if Marquis An Yi hadn't intervened in the incident that day , how could it fail? I have been thinking about this question since you told me about Shengshou last time, but I can't figure it out. You and An Yihou have never had any enmity, why did he deliberately To target you. Until the Mid-Autumn Festival...the matter of writing poetry was proposed by Prince Zhennan, but later, it was Marquis An Yi who came to intervene again... Once it can be said to be accidental, but twice is not accidental."
With moist eyes, Bai Muxiao looked at Han Lingfu and said, "So, I wanted to test it out temporarily, so I pretended that I didn't change the last two sentences, and wanted to see the reactions of those two people. And as I expected, Marquis An Yi I really have to form a party with the son of Prince Zhennan. Your Highness, they are united to deal with you!"
Bai Muxiao's remarks were thought over for several days. Although they were not thorough, she believed that Han Lingfu's attention would be attracted by the fact that "Marquis An Yi and the Prince of Zhennan formed a party", and he would not pay attention to it. Think about something else.
Sure enough, Han Lingfu asked in disbelief: "Xiao'er, are you telling the truth?"
"I didn't dare to believe it at first, but what happened that day was very clear." Seeing that Han Lingfu had already believed it, Bai Muxiao was afraid that he would delve into it, so she quickly changed the subject and said, "...I know that I didn't discuss it with you first. It's my fault to make my own claim, but the opportunity is rare. If I miss the opportunity that day, I'm afraid I won't be able to test it out. Now, you should know who has defeated you in the past two years , who is our real enemy?"
That's right... If it wasn't for what Xiaoer said, how would he have known that Xiao Yi and Guan Yubai were united. No wonder he would be defeated every time something involved the Zhennan Palace. It turned out that Guan Yubai was behind the scenes. For him, Xiao'er endured the humiliation, but he is still suspicious of her, it really shouldn't be!
Han Lingfu said guiltily: "Xiao'er, I have wronged you."
"For your great cause, so what if I feel wronged?" Bai Muxiao leaned meekly in his arms, and whispered: "Your Highness, as long as you trust me, I will be satisfied."
The two leaned against each other quietly, and after a while they reluctantly parted.
Han Lingfu held Bai Muxiao's hand again, his black eyes were reluctant to leave her for a moment, and he said softly, "Xiao'er, the wind is clear and the clouds are calm now, how about we go for a walk in the courtyard together?"
Bai Muxiao smiled sweetly, her cold eyes were as tender as water at the moment.
The two walked slowly hand in hand, a kind of warm tacit understanding lingered between the two of them.
Bai Muxiao's black eyes were shining brightly, and Ruyu's skin seemed to be shining.
With a smile on her lips, she suddenly said: "Your Highness, Prince Zhennan has always turned a blind eye to your kind solicitation, but because of the instigation of Prince Concubine Zhennan, he joined forces with Marquis An Yi to deliberately target you again and again. The Prince of Zhennan has a heavy army in his hands, and Marquis An Yi's wit is beyond the reach of ghosts and gods. If the two of them stand on the opposite side of His Highness, it will definitely affect His Highness's cause. Has Your Highness thought about what to do?"
Thinking of this question, Han Lingfu became irritable for a while, and couldn't help saying: "Does Xiao'er have an idea?"
Bai Muxiao smiled confidently, "Xiao'er does have a plan, if it succeeds, His Highness will definitely be able to turn around from the current predicament."
Han Lingfu was overjoyed, and hurriedly said, "Xiao'er, tell me quickly."
Bai Muxiao smiled, and said: "The emperor now quite trusts Prince Zhennan, if we destroy this trust, what will happen?"
Han Lingfu thought to himself, if his father no longer believed in Xiao Yi, then for Xiao Yi, if he wanted to live in the capital, he had to find someone to rely on again, and he was undoubtedly the best choice. And if there is any emergency in the future, he can also use Xiao Yi's southern border military power to seize that position.
It's just that this matter is easier said than done.
"We can use the princess of Zhennan Prince now." Bai Muxiao said with deep hatred in his eyes, "Nangongyue has excellent medical skills and has always been favored. She can even freely enter and leave the palace and even the royal study. No one will stop him. And the Prince of Zhennan has a deep affection for Nangong Yue, if he knows that there is an innocence between his wife and the emperor, what will happen?"
Han Lingfu frowned. I'm afraid that such rumors would make his father furious before it spread, and the loss outweighed the gain.
"Your Highness, what if it's not a rumor?"
"How is this possible." Han Lingfu shook his head and said with certainty, "Father is not such a person."
"It's not true, we can make it real... Your Highness, please listen." Bai Muxiao stood on tiptoe and whispered in his ear.
Han Lingfu's pupils shrank slightly, and after a long time, he nodded slowly and asked, "Are the Baiyue people reliable?"
"Your Highness." Bai Muxiao smiled and said, "Baiyue people are naturally untrustworthy, but we are just using each other with them, as long as we can achieve our goals." This time, she must let Nangong Yue do it again. Can't turn over either!
"Xiao'er." Han Lingfu said affectionately, "You are really Zhuge Zhuge, with you by my side, why should I worry about failing in my career!"