Xia Yiyang was finally able to put on his clothes before he was about to leave, and Shen Luo was very considerate to help him button them.
The process was very peaceful, the two kept a safe distance, and Shen Luo's movements were always polite, not even a little ambiguous.
"Be careful on the way back." Shen Luo fastened the top button of the opponent's neckline with lowered eyes.
The one Xia Yiyang was wearing had a stand-up collar, so it felt like being strangled when he buttoned it.
"Those pictures..."
Shen Luo sneered: "I've been working in a darkroom for the past few days, and I'll put it away after washing, so you really don't have to worry."
Xia Yiyang defended, "I'm not worried about pornographic photos..."
Shen Luo looked at him quietly, Xia Yiyang was speechless, and finally he could only mutter "forget it" as if giving up, tugged the button of his shirt that was too tight around his neck, and went out. The sunken house.
As a result, when he got home, the more he thought about it, the more he felt aggrieved. Xia Yiyang sat on his bed for a long time, still feeling a little blocked.
He knew how he felt about Shen Luo, and it hadn't changed for so many years. He was not willing to be dissatisfied with what the other party wanted and wanted to do, but of course it was impossible to say that he would not be humiliated if he took pictures naked for such a long time.
Mainly he still couldn't understand Shen Luo's thoughts.
Xia Yiyang is not so dull that he doesn't understand his emotions. When Shen Luo gives him oral sex, he will wonder if the other party likes him a little bit, but when he is asked to take pictures without clothes, Xia Yiyang wonders if Shen Luo is just Like to bully him.
It's not impossible for a person to be in his forties who likes to play, but Xia Yiyang is actually quite timid.
He has such a deep love and doesn't want to be let down.
But I was afraid that the other party would think that he couldn't afford it, and he didn't even like it anymore.
After struggling for a long time, Xia Yiyang finally managed to adjust himself. He thought about whether he should take the initiative since the other party was interested, so he sent a message to Shen Luo.
"Would you like to have dinner together tomorrow?" Xia Yiyang followed behind with a cute Pikachu emoji.
After a while, Shen Luo returned to him: "I'll go home for dinner tomorrow."
Once Xia Yiyang was rejected, he couldn't control his nervousness, his heart trembled and he didn't know how to respond. Anyway, he was very sad, and felt that he was a little unnecessary.
Shen Luo asked again: "Where did you get your expression pack?"
Xia Yiyang: "The girls in the company group sent it, so I will save it."
Shen Luo said, "It's so cute."
Xia Yiyang posted a few more: "Pikachu, of course it's cute."
"I didn't say Pikachu." Shen Luo replied, "I said you."
After entering late autumn, it rarely rained in the small southern town. It was rare for Shen Luo to drive his big pickup truck.
Zhang Ning and Shen Congshan moved to Xiangcheng District after retiring from the mountain. It can be said that it is one south and one north away from the park, and it is very far away.
The rain outside was getting heavier, but Shen Luo didn't want to go out too much. He didn't bring an e-cigarette, so he could only endure the addiction.
In the end, Zhang Ning sent him a message: "I have seen your car, where are you?"
Shen Luo replied: "Come up."
Zhang Ning opened the door and waited for him. After Shen Luo entered, she took off her damp windbreaker and left her shoes outside the door. Zhang Ning came over with slippers, bent down and handed them to his feet.
"I'll do it." Shen Luo didn't let her really bend down, he took the shoes and put them on by himself, and asked casually, "Where's Dad?"
Zhang Ning rubbed her hands, she looked a little nervous: "It's in the study."
Shen Luo let out a "hmm".
Zhang Ning: "Do you want something to drink?" She added, "I made red bean soup."
Shen Luo: "Then red bean soup."
Zhang Ning seemed very happy, and turned to the kitchen to pour soup for him.
Shen Luo looked around the living room, and found that he didn't seem to have changed much from the last time he remembered leaving.
There was a sudden coughing sound upstairs, and when Shen Luo looked up, he saw Shen Congshan standing at the door of the study and looking at him.
After a long silence, Shen Congshan said slowly: "I'm back."
Shen Luo still gave an indifferent "hmm".
Zhang Ning just came back with red bean soup, Shen Luo took it and said "thank you".
It's okay if you don't say thank you, but when you say thank you, Zhang Ning's expression becomes uncomfortable again.
Shen Luo lowered his head to drink the soup, Shen Congshan had already come down, the two old men were watching him drink, so after only a few sips, Shen Luo couldn't finish it.
Zhang Ning wiped her face as if to cover up, and said in a low voice, "Let's eat."
Shen Congshan agreed, and went into the kitchen to serve her dishes. Shen Luo sat still and waited for the others to leave before drinking a bowl of red bean soup.
It's a bit embarrassing when eating.
Shen Luo didn't really want to talk, and his parents couldn't force him. The three of them ate their own food, and the frequency of picking up vegetables was low. In the end, Shen Congshan couldn't help but open his mouth: "Work... how is it?"
Shen Luo scooped up a bowl of soup: "Very good, very relaxing."
He used to work as a stock market securities analyst in the United States. It can be said that he was working hard. He had to arrive at the company building before 7:00 every morning, and then stared at four computers at the same time from the opening to the closing of the market. Okay, there are many hairlines that are in jeopardy, but fortunately, Shen has not followed in this footsteps.
So before returning to China, Shen Luo had already thought about it, he wanted to find an easy job, it would be best to provide for the elderly.
"Why do you live in the villa I bought before?" Shen Luo asked Zhang Ning after eating.
Zhang Ning: "Why do the two of us live in such a big house? I rented it out for you."
Shen Luo frowned: "Are you short of money?"
Shen Congshan coughed, and said lightly: "My idea is to help you save more money for old age."
"..." Shen Luo didn't know what to say for a moment.
Zhang Ning looked at him and said earnestly, "Stay a little longer? It's still raining outside."
Shen Luo glanced outside, and sure enough, it was still falling.
So the three of them just sat in the living room in silence, not knowing what to say.
"That, the young man surnamed Xia." Zhang Ning said suddenly, "Are you married?"
Shen Luo glanced at her: "No."
Zhang Ning let out an "ah", she seemed a little disappointed and a little relieved, and said with a complicated expression: "Not yet..."
Shen Luo smiled: "Well, I got in touch with him."
Shen Congshan's expression was not very good-looking, but he didn't say anything, and folded his arms on the sofa.
Zhang Ning was obviously at a loss: "This, this... this is also good, you, you two get in touch... um..."
"We have a good relationship." Shen Luo said calmly, "Next time I have time, I will bring him back for dinner."
"..."
Shen Luo still didn't wait for the rain to stop and left. Zhang Ning kept sending him downstairs. When Shen Luo was about to hold an umbrella, Zhang Ning suddenly pulled him back.
"Mom..." Zhang Ning said intermittently, she was a little choked up, "Mom is reading a lot, and she understands... Mom supports you, really, don't, don't hide from mom..."
Shen Luo didn't speak, he looked down at his mother.
The old lady is really old and her back is rickety. He has only been away for fifteen years, but she seems to be twice as old.
Shen Luo stretched out his hand and hugged him gently.
Zhang Ning's shoulders were shaking as she cried, repeating those few words over and over again.
"I don't blame you." Shen Luo whispered, "Thank you, Mom."
Zhang Ning was the first to discover Shen Luo's ulterior secrets back then.
She tidied up the room for her son, who rarely came back from university on weekends, and knocked down the sunken camera. There were a bunch of newly developed photos in it, all of which were the sleeping faces of a strange boy.
Zhang Ning is not stupid. She realized that her son was abnormal in that era when homosexuality was hardly mentioned.
When Shen Luo came back that night, Shen Congshan almost beat him to death.
This was the first time Shen Luo had been beaten since he was a child.
He is by no means a good boy in the traditional sense, but his excellent grades more than make up for it.
Shen Congshan said, if you change it, I will let you continue to go to school, otherwise you don't have to go to school, you don't go to school, you just go to fuck men, is it disgusting? !
Shen Luo didn't speak, and didn't agree, this was his usual tactic, it was the same when he was trained before, he didn't admit his mistakes and didn't correct them, after that he still went his own way.
Shen Congshan did not let him go to school the next day. The couple took leave of absence and took their son out of the province overnight. It was not until a long time later that Shen Luo realized that he had been taken to some so-called mental correction center.
Zhang Ning sat with him in the corridor outside, while Shen Congshan was inside talking to the doctor in a white coat.
The voice came out indistinctly.
"This disease can be cured, leave it to us."
"..."
"It doesn't take long, half a year is enough."
"..."
"We cured many of them, aren't they all married now?"
Shen Congshan came out from the inside, stretched out his hand and grabbed Shen Luo, who struggled a bit and pulled the flesh that was beaten so badly last night, and let out a "hiss" in pain.
Zhang Ning asked anxiously, "What did the doctor say?"
Shen Congshan said impatiently: "Just leave it to them."
The man in the white coat sized Shen Luo up and asked with a smile, "What's your name?"
Shen Luo kept his mouth shut, and Shen Congshan slapped him without saying a word.
"Hey." The white coat said with a false smile, "Don't fight, don't fight, violence is not good enough to solve the problem, leave it to me."
Shen Congshan pulled Zhang Ning out, and before leaving, he uttered a harsh word: "If you can't be cured, I will treat you as dead!"
The white coat groaned a few more times, as if he couldn't bear it, sat opposite Shen Luo and said, "Look at how angry you are with your father, why bother, right?"
"Doctor." Shen Luo raised his head, his entire face was swollen, and the bruises were horrible.
He grinned and seemed to be smiling, and said slowly: "Don't treat me, just treat me as dead."
It was only later that Shen Luo realized that he had really said this too early.
He can't die. It should be said that life is better than death.
Because he is already an adult at the age of 20, it can be said that it is not easy to restrain him. In addition, Shen Luo is not the temperament of being controlled, so the director of the correctional center sent four men to watch him all day long.
There will be a special correction time from 1:00 to 5:00 pm, and four people will take turns to ask him if he still likes men.
He said he would be shocked if he liked it or if he didn't answer.
Shen Luo didn't know how many times he was asked. He didn't open his mouth the whole time until he was shocked to the point of incontinence or passed out.
No one expected that Shen Luo could last so long.
In the correctional facility, everyone is an obedient lamb, but he is the only one.
He didn't take part in aerobics, he didn't listen to meetings, he didn't eat, and his white coat couldn't allow Shen Luo to receive electric shocks from morning to night, because by the end of the day, he was already showing obvious signs of dehydration.
Zhang Ning was invited over two months later, and she called her son through the barred dormitory.
Shen was thin and thin, squatting in front of her like a skeleton.
"Can't you think about us?!" Zhang Ning covered her face and cried, "How can you like men? How can you be worthy of us..."
Shen Luo looked at her calmly and said, "Mom, even if I like men, I'm still your son."
Zhang Ning said angrily, "I don't have a son like you!"
"Mom." Shen Luo sighed, "Take me away."
Zhang Ning: "No, you can't leave unless you get cured. Mom will accompany you."
Shen Luo said, "It can't be cured."
Zhang Ning: "Who says it can't be cured, it can be cured."
Shen Luo didn't speak anymore, after a long time, he suddenly said: "I'm dying, will you save me?"
"?" Although Zhang Ning didn't understand why he asked, she still said firmly, "You won't die, mom won't let you die."
Shen Luo smiled weakly: "Okay."
Zhang Ning wanted to say something, but suddenly her neck hurt, as if she was being grabbed by something, followed by a "crash", Shen Luo actually tore off the golden Buddha statue that had been hanging around her neck for more than ten years through the iron railing .
"Mom." Shen Luo shook the golden Buddha lightly, "You need to save me."
As soon as the words fell, he swallowed the whole golden Buddha into his mouth.
The Buddha finally came to save him.
Shen Luo thought.
It seems to be going through this boundless sea of suffering.