The rain outside was falling majesticly, Shen Luo sat in the car and lowered his head to send a message to Xia Yiyang.
This one fully reflects the advantages of the Tundra, and those with a large rear row can lie flat and sleep directly.
Xia Yiyang didn't return right away, and Shen Luo was not in a hurry. He lay down and put the phone on his chest, close to his heart.
After a while, the phone vibrated.
Xia Yiyang asked him, "Have you eaten yet?"
Shen Luo typed with one hand: "Next time."
Xia Yiyang: "How are uncles and aunts? Are you in good health?"
Shen Luo: "It should be fine to live to 100 years old."
Xia Yiyang replied with the word "haha", and after a while, he sent another message: "You have been abroad for so long, they must miss you very much."
After Shen Luo was rescued, he was finally not sent back to the correction center by Shen Congshan, but there was only one way left for him at home.
go abroad.
Being able to go abroad in that year was considered a glorious thing. Only those with good grades and good family conditions were eligible for this, so none of the relatives or friends would think that the reason for Shen Luo to go abroad was because he loved a man.
Zhang Ning followed him step by step back to school to carry his luggage, but Shen Luo didn't expect to meet Xia Yiyang in the corridor.
The boy seemed to have been waiting for him, and he was very happy to see him, running over excitedly like a puppy.
"Where have you been?" Xia Yiyang asked, he saw Zhang Ning beside Shen Luo and nodded politely, "Hi Auntie, I'm Shen Luo's classmate, my name is Xia Yiyang."
Of course Zhang Ning recognized Xia Yiyang as the boy in the photo, she kept a cold face and ignored him.
Xia Yiyang obviously didn't expect to get this kind of reaction. He touched his nose in embarrassment, but he still couldn't hold back, and asked Shen Luo earnestly: "Where have you been?"
Shen Luo smiled: "There is something wrong at home."
Xia Yiyang frowned, he looked at the other person's face carefully, and stretched out his hand to touch: "Are you losing weight?"
Shen Luo subconsciously hid, not letting Xia Yiyang touch him.
The boy froze for a moment, his raised hand was hanging in the air, his expression was a little hurt.
"That..." Xia Yiyang still wanted to get closer, "Bai Fang and I want to have dinner with you, there is a new movie coming out today, we..."
"Xia Yiyang." Shen Luo interrupted suddenly, staring into the boy's eyes, and said calmly, "I'm going abroad."
Xia Yiyang: "..."
Shen Luo: "I came back today to get some food, you can eat the food yourself, I won't go."
Xia Yiyang said "Oh", and asked him somewhat stammeringly, "Then, is that coming back?"
"I don't know." Shen Luo thought for a while, he lowered his eyes and didn't look at the other party again, "Maybe he won't come back."
That's what Shen Congshan said before sending him out.
If you still like men, never come back.
Shen Luo still shut up the clam shell's trick, neither saying it was good nor saying it was bad.
When the couple sent someone off at the airport, their expressions didn't look like they were sending their son to study, but rather like they were sending someone to the crematorium.
Shen Congshan seemed to be 20 years old after two months, and his temples were all white.
Zhang Ning finally cried.
Shen Luo called her: "Mom."
He said, "I'm sorry."
Shen Congshan's expression was a little loose, thinking that his son regretted it.
In the end, Shen Luo just said: "Don't trouble Xia Yiyang."
Zhang Ning: "..."
Shen Luo: "He doesn't know that I love him."
Shen Congshan was so angry that he shouted: "Shut up! Are you still shameless?!"
Shen Luo ignored him, and continued: "I unilaterally pestered him, and it's none of his business."
In fact, if Zhang Ning didn't find out, Shen Luo planned to confess his love the next day.
He is so smart, how could Xia Yiyang's tricks of liking people be hidden in front of him, Shen Luo dug a pit for two years, it was deep and soft, watching the little fool tossing around the pit Whether to jump or not.
After two full years, at the end, Shen Luo felt that he was actually a fool.
He was glad that he didn't confess, but secretly regretted why he didn't drag Xia Yiyang into the pit earlier.
Shen Luo knew that he was wrong to think so, but he really couldn't control it.
He was afraid that Xia Yiyang would forget him if he left for too long, what if he still remembered at that time
Shen Luo was not used to it when he first arrived in the United States. He came out in a hurry, and he was not satisfied with the university and major he chose, but he had to settle down first, re-read his sophomore year, and then apply for transfer or major.
Although there is no problem with writing English, daily communication is still not a strong point. Shen Luo's solution in this area is to practice oral English by working as a waiter or a supermarket salesperson like most international students.
At the end of the first year, Zhang Ning finally called him.
"Are you coming back this year?" Zhang Ning asked him cautiously.
Shen Luo was preparing the materials for changing majors, and answered quickly: "I won't be coming back."
Zhang Ning was silent for a long time.
Shen Luo sighed: "Read more books, Mom, homosexuality is really not a disease, it can't be cured..."
Before he could finish speaking, he hung up the phone.
Shen Luo closed his eyes and slammed the phone against the wall.
The transfer to another school in the second year was very smooth. Shen Luo was a top student in China, but studying abroad was the easiest for him.
After changing to a new environment, Shen Luo began to socialize normally. The Chinese circle is not small, and his appearance is very popular everywhere.
In the third year, he dated a Korean woman, but not long after, the other party asked to resume the friendship.
"You don't want to stabilize the relationship." Cika gave him a cigarette. The two hadn't reached the point of going to bed. It should be said that Shen Luo was unilaterally disinterested in her. "Do you have a lover in China?"
Shen Luo lit the cigarette and took a few puffs: "No."
Cika laughed and said, "You must like men."
Shen Luo was noncommittal.
Cika has been working in the United States for many years and has already received a green card. She is a mature and excellent woman who is very happy to be a friend. In comparison, Shen Luo, who is still studying, looks like a big boy in her eyes.
"Don't make fun of being lonely, my dear." Cika caressed his sinking face lovingly, "Do you know how to be a good man?"
Shen Luo couldn't laugh or cry: "You were the one who came to me first, and you just wanted to be friends with benefits."
Cika rolled her eyes: "I'm different, I'm a woman, of course I can be willful."
Shen Luo ignored her and fiddled with his newly bought SLR camera with his head down. Cika asked him, can you take pictures
Shen Luo said that I have already taken a lot of pictures.
Cika winked: "Then you take a picture for me?"
Shen Luo smiled and refused, "Sorry, I don't shoot people."
Shen Congshan called for the first time when he was about to graduate.
Because there was no communication for a long time, Shen Luo was stunned for a long time when he first heard his father's voice.
"Do you want to go back to China to work?" Shen Congshan asked him.
Shen Luo was silent for a while, and then slowly said: "I have applied for graduate school, and I plan to work here."
Shen Congshan's breathing suddenly became heavy, and he gritted his teeth after a while and said, "Are you so stubborn? Do you really plan to never come back for the rest of your life?!"
Shen Luo returned to the state of not saying anything and not explaining as at the beginning.
"Okay." Shen Congshan said a few good words and hung up the phone directly.
After eight years, the family never contacted him again.
Shen Luo finished his postgraduate studies step by step, practiced, and stayed on Wall Street as a matter of course. He rented an apartment nearby, and his annual salary rose from $80,000 to $200,000.
The social circle has changed a few times, but Cika has always kept in touch.
"You look like an ascetic." After a party, a woman commented on him while drinking, "At first I thought you were still young so you kept that temperament, but I didn't expect that you haven't changed at all after all these years."
Shen Luo had just finished exercising in the company's gym, wearing T-shirt shorts and running shoes, he was very hungry, and ordered another steak: "You can try my job, under that pressure, do you still want me to sing every night? "
Cika's smile trembled wildly, she took out her mobile phone and wanted to take a photo with Shen Luo, but unfortunately the other party was too lazy to cooperate.
Cika didn't mind, and uploaded the photo on INS.
"What is this?" Shen Luo asked distractedly while eating the salad.
Cika: "A social networking site, do you want to play? You can register."
Shen Luo: "How to play?"
Cika: "Send photos or something, don't you like to take pictures, and maybe you have friends in China who are playing?"
Shen Luo wiped his mouth, seemed to have a little interest,
He finally applied for an INS account with the help of Cika. The ID is a very simple Chinese pinyin of "Shen Luo". After filling out his personal information, Cika taught him how to follow people.
"Are you still in touch with friends in China?" she asked.
Shen Luo shook his head: "No."
Cika was a little surprised: "Not one?"
Shen Luo thought for a while: "One or two." After a pause, he added, "But they shouldn't play this."
"I always thought you had a lover in China." Cika wrinkled her nose.
Shen Luo felt a little funny: "Why do you think so?"
Cika said to herself: "A woman's intuition."
Later, Shen discovered that Cika was not the only one who thought this way, the whole company thought he was an "abstinent person".
"We always thought you were chaste for your partner." TOM chatted with Shen Luo during lunch, he was a little skeptical, "You are really still single."
Shen Luo couldn't laugh or cry: "I swear."
TOM pouted: "Then your life is really boring."
Shen Luo: "Do you still have sex after working all day?"
"I'm not like you, I only love fitness." TOM rolled his eyes, "No matter how tired I am, I still have to fight."
Shen Luo had nothing to say.
TOM glanced at him: "You should see a psychiatrist, don't reject it, there are a lot of people in our industry who have problems due to too much pressure, go and have a look, and the company can give you a discount if you use the company's book, this is a benefit, Why not?"
Shen Luo didn't want to see a psychiatrist, because he knew what his problem was.
So when the psychiatrist took the questionnaire and looked at him with a thoughtful expression, Shen Luo was not surprised.
"I'm glad you don't have depression." The other party made a joke, stretched out his hand, and introduced himself, "You can call me Jack."
Shen Luo nodded: "Hello."
Jack flicked the paper in his hand: "May I ask, how long have you been immigrating?"
"I don't immigrate, I just work here." Shen Luo said calmly, "Including study and work, it's a total of thirteen years, eight months and two days."
"..." Jack looked surprised.
Shen Luo smiled: "I count the days every day."
Jack opened his mouth, and he felt like he was asking a stupid question: "Why?"
Shen Luo smiled and did not speak.
Of course, Shen Luo knows that he does not have depression, although to outsiders he seems to have the feeling of a precursor to depression, without passion, life is like a pool of stagnant water, except for going to work and exercising, no one knows what he is thinking, he seems to be living in own world.
But Shen Luo didn't want to die, not only didn't want to die, he also wanted to live a long, healthy life, very long.
As Shen Congshan said, he had long been prepared not to go back for a long time.
If you are unlucky, maybe you will have to survive until the end of your parents' life, maybe it won't be that long, but who knows
He thought about it countless times, and finally he was able to go back to China to find Xia Yiyang without hindrance.
When he thinks about these, he is even excited, happy, and not painful at all.
Shen Luo hoped that when he was fifty or sixty years old, he would still be handsome, attractive, healthy, and decent.
It doesn't matter if Xia Yiyang has forgotten himself.
As long as he still loves Xia Yiyang, that's enough.