Cen Lixuan rested early. There were many things in the military camp, and Jiang did not leave the camp again. After Cen Lixuan fell asleep, he sat on the ground and slept on the edge of the couch.
This night he actually dreamed of Wei Lin again, but it was a dream of what happened in the past.
The dream started from the day when Wei Lin was in the city with him before he left, and the two of them were listening to a book in the teahouse. To say it was a dream, it was more like taking out the memories of that day in my sleep and recalling it carefully. Wei Lin's face was serious when he listened to the book, and the warmth of his palm when he took his hand around. Then it was inevitable to dream that their lips and tongues were entangled, and that Wei Lin rode away valiantly on a horse.
And he turned his head, from a long distance, as if saying something to himself.
Jiang couldn't hear what Wei Lin said that day, or whether Wei Lin said anything, he couldn't be sure. Similarly, Wei Lin must not know what Jiang also said.
But Jiang also knew that when he looked at the back that was about to go away, he tried to say a few words. It's just that the distance was too far, and he knew that Wei Lin couldn't hear him, so the words turned into self-talk.
He said: Don't go.
"Don't go." Jiang also read out in his sleep, he heard his own voice and woke him up.
He opened his eyes, and there was a faint candlelight in front of him. As the candles flickered, it seemed that Wei Lin was right in front of him. But even more sober, Jiang also knew that it was just a momentary hallucination. Jiang couldn't help but feel a little lost, but before he was lost for a long time, he noticed some strange low voices around him.
It was like the whimpering of a small beast begging for mercy when it was captured by a natural enemy. Listen carefully to the rapid breathing and a little bit of crying.
Jiang also got up from the ground and looked at the sound. Cen Lixuan on the couch closed his eyes and fell asleep, but his small body was curled up. The voice was made by Cen Lixuan.
Jiang Yexin said that maybe he was having a nightmare. After all, he was still a young boy, so this is normal.
Just when he felt relieved and planned to sit back down to sleep again, Cen Lixuan's voice suddenly became louder. He was crying, shouting something indistinctly from his mouth. Jiang also leaned closer and wanted to listen, but unfortunately couldn't understand.
This scene is really rare, but it’s not like Jiang hasn’t seen it before—when he was a teenager, whenever Jiang Min woke up from a nightmare, he would hug his pillow and cry while running to his room to knock on the door, and then hug him without saying a word. live him.
At that time, Jiang Min was much smaller than Cen Liguo in front of him. At times like this, Jiang would bring Jiang Min to his couch to sleep with him. Jiang Min calmed down and fell asleep beside him before he would go back to sleep.
I just don't know if this method will work for the current Cen Lixuan.
Before Jiang could decide whether to try this on Cen Lixuan, Cen Lixuan suddenly cried out, "Save me!"
Jiang was also taken aback by the cry, and then Cen Lixuan opened his eyes. His face was full of wet tears, and he looked pitiful. He only rolled his eyes and glanced around vigilantly, and his eyes finally fell on Jiang Ye.
People always have a little compassion, and Jiang is no exception. Cen Lixuan cried in his dream until he woke up. He was probably too like his younger brother, who had grown up with him. He didn't think too much about it. Rest your head on your lap.
"Don't be afraid, it's just a nightmare, you'll be fine when you wake up." He comforted Cen Lixuan rusty, stretched out his hand and patted him behind his back, very gentle.
If it weren't for today, Jiang would have forgotten that he had ever been so gentle.
Cen Lixuan's rapid breathing gradually calmed down under his comfort. Cen Lixuan didn't know why, but when he opened his eyes and saw Jiang Ye, his panic was relieved a lot... Probably because last time, after he thought he was dead, he was the first person he was lucky enough to open his eyes to see. It's Jiang Ye.
"I'm fine." Cen Lixuan whispered in a hoarse voice.
Jiang also looked down at him, the boy's eyes had been closed again, so he said softly: "Don't be brave, there is no one else anyway."
Then there was another long silence.
Jiang also kept patting Cen Lixuan's back at an unpleasant frequency. When he was almost asleep, Cen Lixuan said the next sentence: "You... and Big Brother Wei, why do you want to save me?"
"Ah?" Jiang Ye's drowsiness was awakened by this sentence, "Wei Lin is kinder."
"how about you?"
"Me? Ah, I... I also have a younger brother, you know." Jiang also said, but he didn't want to say these slightly hypocritical things, and instead continued in a mature man's tone, "Anyway, at your age If you are a child, you should live in a honeypot without thinking too much."
After saying this, Cen Lixuan smiled disdainfully, not laughing out loud, but the corners of his mouth twitched slightly.
"As a prince, there is no honey pot, only a mountain of swords and a sea of swords."
"I know." Jiang also said, "But I didn't know it before. It's not important to us. Children should be pampered."
The speaker has no intention, but the listener has a heart.
Cen Lixuan had to admit that these words, coupled with the love that Wei Jiang and the two had shown him, opened a small window in his heart that he thought was invulnerable.
Even Xue Ziqin tried his best to satisfy all his needs and loved him so much, he didn't feel that way. It was a warm feeling that would trickle into the cold place in his heart from Wei Jiang and the two of them.
"Cen Lishang wanted to kill me, but unfortunately I didn't deserve to die. In the end, even the third brother was fine. He must be very angry." Cen Lishang said to himself.
Jiang didn't know much about royal affairs, but at least he knew a thing or two. If he remembered correctly, Cen Lishang should be the name of the first prince. Although it was a bit shocking to say this, Jiang did not show any expression or answer, and Cen Lixuan continued:
"I can't imagine that I didn't die if I fell from Qizhen Peak. But it's nothing. Killing an insignificant prince like me, he wouldn't be able to make such a big deal of trouble."
"Isn't he the eldest son, what else is there to fight for?" Jiang also said softly.
"Who knows, I'm not fighting anyway."
When Cen Lixuan said this, he was completely different from the Cen Lixuan in Jiang Ye's memory, his tone seemed indifferent, but it was also cold.
"But if you don't fight, you will die." Cen Lixuan said again, "Even if I don't fight, even if everyone knows that I have no hope of inheriting the throne, they still hate me and torture me."
"why?"
"Because my biological mother is the unparalleled concubine Jin, and my uncle, even my uncle and grandfather are heroes of the Xuan Kingdom and have been loyal for generations." When Cen Lixuan said this, Jiang couldn't hear his emotions. He also knows these things, and I am afraid that no one in the people does not know the glory of the Xue family.
From the previous generation of Xue Yuanshan to this generation of Xue Ziqin, all of them are famous generals with illustrious military exploits.
In addition to the queen, Concubine Jin is also the concubine with the highest status in the harem.
Jiang didn't ask any more questions, just continued to listen to him.
"They can't humiliate my mother-in-law, or the third brother who my mother-in-law loves every day, they can only humiliate me." Cen Lixuan said, her thoughts drifted away, as if those memories reappeared in front of her eyes. The pain in the past and the peace of mind for Jiang Ye made him completely let go of his defenses and talk about the past intermittently.
"My concubine turned a deaf ear to me. The only person who hurts me is the mama next to me... But she also died. I'm ashamed to say it. If it wasn't for taking care of me, she wouldn't have died."
"I waited for a long time, when will he come to fulfill his promise, but he has never entered the palace again."
Jiang also didn't know who this 'he' was, but Jiang didn't want to ask either. If Cen Lixuan is willing to say it, then naturally he will say, if not, then it is no use asking. But Jiang also felt hazy in his heart that this person was Xue Ziqin.
Cen Lixuan went on to say: "Four years ago, I met the painter in the palace. He was very kind to me. He talked with me and taught me to draw. For a long time, he was the only one in the palace who dared to talk to me."
Having said this, Cen Lixuan closed his eyes again, his expression was a little struggling, and he continued: "How could someone be really kind to me, he was sent by the second prince, he pretended to hurt me... Then I, I... "
"I later killed him with my own hands."
Although the words are not clear, Jiang has already guessed a lot of the content.
He stopped the movement of his hands and put Cen Lixuan in his arms, holding him tighter. Cen Lixuan didn't speak again, but with a slight twitch from his shoulder, Jiang also knew that he was crying again, this time not because of nightmares, but because of memories.
It is also difficult for Jiang to imagine that there will be such unreasonable humiliation in this world, and that someone will be so cruel to his brother.
Those Jiang also tried to guess the whole story from the few words, in Cen Lixuan's memory, deep and painful, but new and bright, dreaming from time to time, vivid in his mind.
When Cen Lixuan was young, he overheard the elder palace servants tell stories about him to the younger servants in the palace.
"When the ninth prince was born, the emperor was so happy... The prince was given a name after three days, how much favor was given to the concubine Jin, even if the moon was not born and could not get out of bed, the emperor was in front of her and waved a big pen. Give a name to the ninth prince. Concubine Jin just look at it. The emperor has one horizontal, two horizontal, one vertical and one horizontal, and the word 'king' is written on the red paper. The Jin concubine smiles like a flower... What do you think? , the prince gave the name 'king', how big is the emperor's residence? But the holy will is unpredictable, the emperor has added another, added a little."
"Jade?" A maid raised her face and guessed innocently.
"It's on the top, it's a '玊' character!"
"What word is that?"
"The word doesn't matter, it's the meaning that matters."
"what does that mean?"
"It's because the beautiful jade has time, it's not perfect." The palace servant said, and shook his head with a pretense of pity, "Concubine Jin's complexion changed on the spot, the ninth prince gave him such a name, and the saint treated him with this name. But there is no hope."
At that time, he didn't understand the meaning of this sentence, but later, no matter how much he asked to see his mother and concubine, he couldn't see each other, he suddenly understood.
His father used to love him very much. When he was a child, he would often come to see his wife and his wife in the palace of the concubine, as well as him. It was only at that time that the mother-in-law would be gentle with him, and would call him Yu'er affectionately. Later, it was probably because the father was too busy and rarely came to see him. Similarly, he rarely saw his mother and concubine.
In the palace, everyone worships the high and the low, except for the nanny next to him who takes care of him.
The prince bullied him, and the palace servants bullied him, but Concubine Jin never asked. Mammy couldn't stop her, she could only give some medicine to the trauma on his body every time, and then hugged him and cried, saying that his life was suffering.
But Cen Lixuan felt that it was not hard for her to have her mother there.
By the time he lived with Mammy wholeheartedly, Mammy died.
One day, his head was broken by someone, and he ran back to his residence with blood to find his mother, but she fell in the yard with blood all over her mouth and nose.
Since then, Cen Lixuan has come to understand some reality - he was born unloved.
The most despairing thing is to give him a little hope when he is desperate to accept his fate, and then crush the hope.
When Cen Lixuan was twelve years old, he was bullied by the palace servants one day and rescued by a handsome painter.
The painter showed his affection to him and taught him to draw.
For two full years, the two were like glue, and even made Cen Lixuan forget the pain of being bullied in the palace, and then fell in love logically, and almost drowned in love. The painter proposed to have sex with him, but Cen Lixuan refused. Not because of others, just because of his shyness.
Then the man gave Cen Lixuan medicine and waited for Cen Lixuan to beg him to be happy, watching Cen Lixuan kneeling on the ground begging him, laughing wildly. No matter how humiliating it is, there will be no gentleness in the past.
He will never forget that day, when he was raped to the point of fainting, the second prince kicked open the door of the palace and brought a group of palace servants to witness the scene with his own eyes.
Later, rumors began to spread inside and outside the palace that the ninth prince was very masculine.
After the news spread, the father emperor came to see him. Cen Lixuan remembered the appearance of his father, and felt regretful, distressed, and a little bit of hatred of iron becoming steel, and a little...other.
The artist is dead anyway. Cen Lixuan stabbed a knife in his throat while he was sleeping beside him. The blood splattered everywhere, and it stuck to Cen Lixuan's chest, and his face made him feel unexpectedly warm.
The sky is bright.
Jiang also noticed this through the gap in the curtain, and only then did he know that the night was almost over.
Cen Lixuan cried for a long time without making a sound.
Jiang also pondered for a long time and could not come up with any words of comfort, and finally bluntly helped him wipe the tears from his face and said, "Don't cry, anyway... within my ability, I will be good to you, and Wei Lin, Wei Lin will do it too."
"You don't even know where he is." Cen Lixuan said hoarsely.
"That's right, but," Jiang also yawned, "Ugh—I know what's on his mind."