This kiss was not long, but was frighteningly short in his consciousness. Maybe it wasn't that short, but all the beloved things that were nostalgic could not be kept, just like this kiss.
There was a slight sound from Shen Zhifan's throat, and then he opened his eyes, his head slowly tilted back, but his eyes were glued to Yan Shuo.
"… Um?"
Yan Shuo realized that he had avoided the kiss again, and was stunned for a moment, and the tenderness in his heart suddenly cooled down.
Why is Shen Zhifan always like an untouchable flower in the fog, like an unsolvable philosophical blind spot
But his eyes were too lonely, and he stretched out a tentacle to grab his neck both lonely and affectionately, making Yan Shuo feel an empty suffocation.
The lamp at the head of the bed made a buzzing sound for some reason. Shen Zhifan didn't know why he could hear the sound at this time. Maybe it was too quiet between the two of them.
"I want to kiss you too, my lord."
Shen Zhifan lowered his eyes, he heard himself say.
Yan Shuo was too close to him, and his feelings for him seemed to burn each other easily.
"A long time ago, you were the object of my longing," Shen Zhifan said loudly, "remember when we first met, at that time, at that time, I really felt like I was dreaming."
Yan Shuo was stunned for a while, it wasn't the first time he heard Shen Zhifan say that he was looking forward to him, it's just... It just seems to be different now.
This is a complete Shen Zhifan, dissecting his feelings to him.
"In such an unbelievable way," Shen Zhifan recalled at that time with a smile still in the corner of his eyes, "Although I don't seem to remember it clearly, but... That kind of feeling will never happen again in my life."
Yan Shuo's heart twitched, and he always felt that Shen Zhifan's confession had a tinge of gloom, like some kind of let go after there was no way out.
"I like you very much, Yan Shuo, do you understand?"
Shen Zhifan raised his eyes abruptly, there were no tears in his eyes, they were clean, and there was no such sloppy things.
He is already such a complicated man, but his eyes are clear in front of him.
So, it wasn't his delusion, right? Yan Shuo's heart was shaking unexplainably. In front of him, Shen Zhifan wasn't acting, he was real, just like the boy back then.
That's why he was... so irrationally, he couldn't help but believe him.
Everyone has weaknesses, even a tough and perfect general, but also has a dusty past and weaknesses.
Even Lord General, he will make mistakes in Shen Zhifan.
Why can't he be wrong, what if it's his fault, Yan Shuo thought, he is not a sage, nor is he the creator, let alone the sages and creators also have failures.
He was not a good person, he was very selfish.
"I can understand." Yan Shuo's voice dropped, and he saw himself in Shen Zhifan's clear eyes, "So, are we... in love?"
Shen Zhifan rarely called him by his full name, it was always yours, or it was always you.
In love
The word suddenly flashed across Shen Zhifan's mind, and he suddenly became aware of it.
If they were in love... so they were in love.
Yes, you like me, and I like you too, isn't that just love
The word "love" isn't really that far away, is it
Shen Zhifan wondered, isn't his love for Yan Shuo not considered love? If such heavy feelings are not considered love, then what is love.
This is love, which includes longing, liking, persistence, dreams, and so many beautiful adjectives. This is love in the first place, although it is a little more complicated and a little bit of struggle.
His eyes fell heavily on Yan Shuo, wanting to look at him as long as possible, it turned out that this was his lover.
my sweetheart.
Shen Zhifan felt that for half his life, his life was as thin as paper, his family and friendship were thin, and his life was also thin... That's the kind of person who is as thin as a cicada's wings, and can ascend to immortality with lightness.
With such a kind of love, he almost didn't want to die casually.
It is a pity that this love only exists in the past and the present, and there will be no future.
"Shen Zhifan," Yan Shuo's eyes were also heavy, along with the sound of his breathing, Shen Zhifan subconsciously knew what Yan Shuo was going to say, and he tried to listen intently, "I remember that time, I couldn't even say it. Say remember, I want you to believe, and I probably didn't tell you either... but I've been in love with you since then."
Shen Zhifan opened his eyes slightly.
"I love you, can you understand, Shen Zhifan?"
Yan Shuo's old face no longer blushed casually. He was someone who could say flowers with peace of mind even when he was drunk.
But at this time, he suddenly felt that he was a first love.
Yes, it was first love.
Shen Zhifan's eyes changed again and again, and finally, he stretched out two hands and hugged Yan Shuo's shoulders very gently.
"…I can understand."
"Then, do you believe me?" Yan Shuo's voice was a little cautious.
Shen Zhifan suddenly realized that he was a fool. Did Yan Shuo try so hard to gain his trust? It was never because Yan Shuo didn't trust him enough, but he never dared to believe that Yan Shuo would trust him so much.
Because Yan Shuo is a male god, it's impossible to see. He has too deep feelings for him, so deep that he is inferior in front of him, that's why he is so unbelievable... Yan Shuo will also be like him, he likes it He likes him just as much.
It's like, a fish spends its whole life chasing the opposite sea, but it can swim across only when the tide is high, but the high tide time is very short, the waves are rough, the sea is moody, if you are not careful, it will be swept away by other ocean currents. Then there are no bones left, so it has been timidly afraid to swim past.
It waited and waited, and finally, when it was about to die of old age, the sea suddenly said to it sadly, "My sea has been waiting for you for a fish.
Can this kind of thing be believed casually, can a piece of sea wait for a fish for a lifetime
Can
sure!
Shen Zhifan's heart aches.
If he can, why can't Yan Shuo.
"It's my fault."
Yan Shuo suddenly felt a little at a loss when he heard the nasal tone in Shen Zhifan's voice.
"I should trust you," Shen Zhifan didn't cry, but the sourness made his voice tremble a little, and when he was nervous, he started you again, "I thought I cared about you more than anyone and understood you, Because I stared at you for so long, but I was wrong, and only I was stupid."
Yan Shuo also wanted to say, yes, you idiot.
But he was reluctant to say it.
When a fish looks at the sea for a lifetime, maybe a certain sea is also cautiously waiting for a certain fish.