I’m so stupid, really. I thought that my trip to Kunlun was only a few days away. I completely ignored the suffering of ordinary people and their desire to be cared. They lurked around me day and night. I showed all my old illnesses, stubborn illnesses and even rashes, birthmarks, and single eyelids. The workload was so heavy that I performed a full-body examination for almost everyone, so that every tooth was not missed...
But I never expected that just because I didn’t say a word through my brain during the dental examination, the real nightmare was completely unfolded—this is what I said: "Then who, can your mouth grow up, you My throat and eyes are too dark for me to see clearly!"
Then the certain person replied: "Ah, that's easy, can't it be done if I cut my mouth open?"
After that, the girl picked up the knife and cut herself along the corners of the mouth, caught the upper and lower jaw with both hands, and slapped herself with a splitter that was shocked by the chainsaw. His head instantly opened 150 degrees, sticky. The corners of the tongue were trembling and he was vague: "How swollen, is the shrimp tender?"
"You can talk cheap and cheap..." I replied casually, followed by a line: "Fortunately, you broke your head, otherwise I can see your throat inflammation somewhere-drink honeysuckle recently, protect your throat and sing less K!"
As soon as I finished reading, this girl snapped his upper and lower jaws together, and his head was restored to its original shape with a shake, and said excitedly: "Don't you say I really forgot. You haven't checked it yet. Wait, I'll take my stomach. Cut it all open and put it out in front of you, so please show me the whole picture!"
I screamed, "... Please, don't!"
But it is a pity that not only did my howl fail to stop him from opening his heart, liver, spleen, lungs and kidneys one by one and putting them in front of me, it even aroused the attention and onlookers of other people, and everyone suddenly realized that they were talking: " Co-authoring this is the real full-body examination, we almost showed it... No way, no, we must do it again!"
So, a weird and terrifying scene was staged in Yuxu Palace: I was sitting in front of an extra-large table with a person lying on it, and I used a knife to pull myself along the position of the body, and all kinds of organs were taken out one by one. When he came out in front of me, he even kept cutting on himself. After a while, he took out an organ and asked me:
"Do you think my appendix is okay...?"
"What do you think of my small intestine? Why do I look at the color not so fresh? Is it sick...?"
"Why don't I remember these two things, they don't seem to have been used before, do you see if they have grown too, or let's throw them away..." "No, you have to keep these two things regardless of whether they are used or not. There are two for men. You don’t have a beard if you want to throw it away!" I quickly grabbed the person and said in a deep voice, "You can take my eyes off if you want to help me again!"
Of course, Uncle Wolf was not idle in this fierce medical war. He went there on the principle of saving time and being an assistant to me, sending pots and buckets to the gods of Yuxu Palace in line one by one, and exhorted: " Take it well. In order to save time, please take the initiative to take out the organs and put them in the basin. When it is your turn, the doctor will not use the knife-there is a difficult squeak, I have a knife here!"
A gang of people raised their hands up and shouted: "Here, here, please give me a deep knife-my knife is too blunt, and I keep cutting my ribs. It's your knife!"
Uncle Wolf immediately rescued the distress and helped the poor. He took the knife and cut his stomach... A long, long time later, whenever we mentioned this trip to the Yuxu Palace, Uncle Wolf would look forward to the night sky and say with infinite emotion. : "That time was so cool!"
The matter got worse, and finally Mu Zha came to me with a basin, "Doctor, this is the internal organs that Master asked me to bring you, his friend's, can you also help me take a look?"
The internal organs in the basin are thickly wrapped. Although I am not a doctor, I can see it. I made a straightforward judgment: "In the late stage of fatty liver, it is caused by too little activity and too much food!"
"What should I do then?" Mu Zha continued: "Master said, if you have a disease, I will trouble you to deal with it."
"That's for sure, do you still need to say?" I laughed a few times and called Uncle Wolf to come over and instructed: "I have handed over this pot of things to you, please help tick the oil..." "I won't!" Wolf The uncle was taken aback: "I'll be able to get a good deal, but you are too much to let me treat the disease!"
"It's okay!" I simply and rudely stuffed the basin into his arms, and pointed out the key point concisely: "I remember the last time you ate the fat intestines in the nursing home, did you wash it? Same, it's time to deal with the pig intestine!"
Uncle Wolf's eyes lit up: "Then I know."
"But remember, don't get out of the pot after washing!" I exhorted in my busy schedule: "Then I can't pretend to go back!"
"Okay!" Uncle Wolf ran away, and I could only help Mu Zha: "I suggest you go and watch it, this girl is not good, just in case you forget..."
After days and nights of sleepless efforts, I finally dissected all the more than a hundred people in the entire Yuxu Palace. Because of the excessive use of the "eyes but no pigs" skill, the skill experience skyrocketed, and even the skill itself rose. At the first level, even if it is not the ingredients, you can clearly see the distribution of the bones, veins, and blood vessels. It is no exaggeration to say that the best surgeons in the world now will not be more accurate and more appropriate than me. If I do it now' This dish, even if you choose the raw material, the ant brain will not be mixed with blood vessels and veins!
There is a saying that things in this world are inextricably linked. There is no love for no reason and no hate for no reason. Just when I am done and I am about to announce it to the world, Yuan Shi Tianzun is cold. I was invited to the main hall, and when I went to the place, besides Yuanshi Tianzun, there was an old man with white hair and white beard sitting on it, wearing a big red robe and a top hat, smiling and staring at me with affection. .
I'm fine, but Uncle Wolf was terrified when he took a look, and shouted on the spot: "Damn, why is Santa Claus here?"
When we asked this question, Yuan Shi Tianzun immediately smiled and pointed at Santa Claus and introduced: "Don’t get me wrong, two people, this old man beside me is not what you say, you have misunderstood. This is my brother, who is called Lao Tzu, the deity of morality, is also the head of the human education."
The old man looked at Uncle Wolf thoughtfully, and then smiled at me again...
I stab Uncle Wolf quickly with my elbow, and laughed with me: "Oh, that's the case, it must be my friend's misunderstanding, no wonder... Uh, what do you do today, Laozi?" Uncle Wolf was caught by me He stopped immediately, but the expression on his face was still a bit bright.
Yuanshi Tianzun smiled: "My senior hasn't been out for many years, and this time I came here is considered a good face, you guessed it..." Laozi interrupted his words with a cough, hehe said: "Junior, or I am myself. Speak?"
Yuanshi Tianzun immediately made a gesture of please. It seems that the relationship between the two is indeed as harmonious as the book says. It is precisely because of this that they will unite the power of the two religions to fight the interception, suppressing the master of the sky and almost never fight back. Power-but it’s no wonder that the three of them are basically equal to two people and a dog when they apprentice a teacher to learn art. If the relationship between the two is not as good as the relationship between the human and the dog, then they can only make a movie about Chéng Rén's dog love. Oh... Who the hell did this kind of thing except the little devil!
Laozi smiled and said: "First of all, I have to thank you for the name you just called. It's really good. I have made a decision just now. I will change my name to Santa Claus in the future-you can help me a lot!"
I unexpectedly said, "Is there anything wrong with your original name?"
"The problem is too big!" Lao Tzu, the current Santa Claus frowned and said with a bitter face: "I used to think it was good like you guys, but I didn't expect that when I traveled around the world, I found something wrong. !"
"Where are you?"
"Chuanyu," Lao Tzu said, "Ghosts know what's going on. The people there are just saying'Lao Tzu Lao Tzu' how about it, and there are even people who are okay with'Lao Tzu's' shouting,'Lao Tzu wants to fuck you','Lao Tzu' "I want to feces" and "I want to rub mahjong" all have to mention everything-you say, can you bear it for a change?"
Uncle Wolf and I looked at each other and said in unison: "You changed too right, and now they all shout out,'I won't go to work today'..."
"So, I thank you for the title Santa Claus, and I will have it in the future!"
I said meaningfully: "Then I would like to congratulate you-Santa Claus, aren't you here just to find a good name?"
Santa Claus squinted his eyes and said cheerfully: "Yes, there is a second thing I have to come here-I heard that you will treat the disease, so I have come to seek medical treatment for my disciple!"
"Ah? Are you here too?" I almost fainted: "Isn't your era the era when Shennong tasted the herbs? Why don't you ask him to rely on me!"
Yuanshi Tianzun sighed softly on the side: "It's true that Shennong has been dead for many years, but I can't find it anymore."
"Where is the apprentice, how about disciple children and grandchildren?" I frantically said, "Hah there will always be descendants, right?"
"Uh, he is dead," Santa Claus twisted: "Now there is no living descendant from his family in this world. You don't have to go to the underworld unless you seek medical advice—hehe, we're going to wander around as we are... You know, it’s not good. !"
"Isn't this a damn medical family? It can't be lost for no reason?" I curled my hair and said, "Is it infertility?"
Yuanshi Tianzun and Santa Claus looked at each other and shook their heads: "We don't know this..."
"Then there will always be something left when the last descendant of his family dies, don't you know?"
Santa Claus thoughtfully said: "I seem to have heard of it."
"Say what?"
"He said—this grass is poisonous!"
Me: "Hey, numbness is a family custom if you taste the herb... The one who runs is the damn son and the grandson!"
This is the end of the matter, and I have no chance to refuse, and I can only fight for the last dying struggle: "Can you not change according to the diet of Yuxugong? Seriously, the rest are minor problems, as long as the diet is changed, it will be all right. NS!"
Santa Claus shook his head slightly, and sighed: "I'm telling you, it's so easy to just say, it's mainly because my disciples are very old, and many people suffer from diseases that are unheard of in Yuxu Palace. I can only ask you to work hard. It's time!"
"for example?"
Santa Claus's eyes flashed suddenly, and he said vaguely: "For example... Cough cough, for example, some people... What kind of respect... After that... there is blood... Cough cough, it is almost the same as a woman's menstrual affairs..."
I stood up while rubbing, and said loudly: "Isn't this just hemorrhoids?!" (End of this chapter)