It was already the next afternoon when we returned to the nursing home. In short, we went to the underworld for a full day and a half. I became a ghost and didn’t know that I was hungry, but when we came back, I felt hungry and cold. , Wu Dalang quickly brought us a big pot, and everyone was immersed in the sea to eat and drink.
By the way, I asked Xiaogu, saying that Ren Xiaoyan waited like an ant on the hot pot yesterday. Today is another morning. About two hours ago, I was forced to agree to meet tonight. The second generation on the Forbes list. He and his parents are here, she can only try to arrange plan B-pretend to be a lesbian, or a lesbian attack on a foot-scraping girl, when she can't wait for us, now she is estimated to be shopping for spring brother outfits on the street. use.
I called her. Before she complained, I told her that everything was OK. Missy. I immediately listened to her surprise cheers from the other end of the phone. After that, she quickly took care of her. The clothes I paid for returned, and I kindly reminded me: "I think you'd better come back with XXXL. I'm afraid you won't dare to go out before the time."
Ren Xiaoyan was taken aback, but she quickly woke up: "Yes! I really have to get my clothes ready."
I immediately added: "It's best to buy a few more..."
"Why?" She was instantly alert: "Will I be fat for a long time?"
I yelled at my misconduct. I wanted to take advantage of her to buy clothes for Wu Da. But instead of going astray, I wanted him. I can only honestly say: "It's up to you, but it's really only a day or two."
Ren Xiaoyan thought for a while, and suddenly smiled: "I think you make sense. You must have at least three or four clothes in a day or two."
Me: "... You are right!" As expected of a woman, she never forgets to dress up whenever and wherever she is, even if she weighs more than two hundred, remember what it said? For women, no matter how many clothes there are, one feels less, and no matter how beautiful they are, there are two points. This is the reason!
After informing Ren Xiaoyan, we continue to struggle with gruel, steamed buns and pickles. The others are okay. Only Xiao Zuanfeng looks around to prepare dishes, muttering: "Is it possible that human beings have evolved to the top of the food chain for tens of millions of years just to eat grass? Hungry for a day, didn’t you even get a scorpion?"
Lori Xi sipped the porridge and glanced at it, "It has only been a few days since you are now plump and plump. If you become Mr. Kong's appearance, I will see how you will behave by then."
Kong Lao Er rolled his eyes and deliberately ignored it, but I was pleased with a smile: "It's better to be really that way. At least you don't need to stay in the kitchen every day. You have to wear masks and sunglasses when you go out. 200 catties, even small fresh meat. It has become a big fat!"
At this moment, too second-hand carried a plastic bag and walked in with a small song. When we saw us, we threw the plastic bag over and greeted: "It just happens to happen. Hurry up and try the sauce elbow I bought. For more than an hour."
Xiao Zuanfeng smiled and took out the elbow. Kong Lao Er responded with a smile, only Ximen Chuuxue continued to push the porridge bowl quietly, and went upstairs alone to continue meditating. I saw that it was indeed a Lee Kum Kee costume. The bag of sauce elbow suddenly felt doubts in his heart: "Teacher, where did you get the money?"
Tai Er Dese said: "Shanren has a clever plan. Not only did I make money, but I also started to accumulate virtue and do good deeds by the way."
We all wondered: "How come?"
Tai Er laughed and did not answer, but gave us the little bones who added kimchi to the secret: "Tai Er was outside to show people the fortune-telling of the eight characters, and it is said to be quite accurate, the old man and old lady in the whole vegetable market knows everything... "
I stared and said anxiously: "You are going to ruin us! Mrs. Er, do you know what it means to cheat them money? One dollar can form a strengthened group to kill our shop to thwart you!"
Tai Er thought for a while at a loss, and said gladly: "Fortunately, I didn't lie."
I was very confused and said: "Didn't you say that you have no power?"
Tai Er was also a little confused by me, frowning and thinking in distress: "Is this related to mana?"
"Look, this is it!" I looked around at everyone on the table, standing up with my hands spread out, and asserted: "Before the situation deteriorates further, we will quickly remedy this matter-Tai Er, think about you. How many people have seen the photos, we asked Xiaoqing to help out and apologize one by one, so as not to get out of control..."
"Oh, people are here!"
Suddenly there was a cry at the door, but when I turned around, it was an old lady bringing members of the Yangko team and the square dance team into the room. Every face went red on the download address of the 31 novel app, and I rushed to them. I apologize: "I'm sorry, uncle and aunt, this matter..."
Before the words fell, the crowd rushed over, I staggered under my feet and squeezed away. When I reacted, Tai Er was already surrounded by groups, and the voices rang into one:
"Master, help me take a look..."
"Help Master, there have been strange things in my house recently, you can help me solve..."
"Master, I want to calculate when I can get married..."
It seems that Tai Er's words are true: he did not use any mana to fool the old man and the old lady, just like the broken shops on the street that do free health checks and sell medical products, they can always easily gain trust after They stole all their frugal pensions, and their deception skills for the elderly were at the master level... I sat back at the table again, scratching my scalp and worried: "What should I do?"
Others have a better mentality than me. No one has stopped eating or drinking. The sauce elbow has been cleaned up except the bone stick in the middle, but Lori Xi took the time to persuade me to say: "Forget it, it's the only way to come. Anzhi, you can just see what's going on!"
"It can only be this way!" I sighed, picked up the chopsticks again and beat them on the table twice, just about to start, the small drill quickly grabbed the bones in my hands and looked at them with harmless eyes of humans and animals. I bit it, it clicked, I didn't drink the porridge at all, and started to look at Taier's excitement.
The old lady first pulled a girl out, just yelling about who is saving her life, "Master, there have been weird things in my house recently, I don't know if there is something unclean," the girl drew in panic, "please." NS!"
Tai Er's eyes calmly said: "Let's talk about it, what's weird?"
The girl hurriedly said: "Recently, I was sitting on a chair, and the chair suddenly fell apart. Then I sat on the sofa and the sofa collapsed. The most powerful thing was that the bed broke inexplicably in the middle of the night last night-Master, you said my house is Is it dirty?"
Tai Er squeezed an incomprehensible finger with both hands and circled the girl. The audience was solemn, only me and Lori Xi Xiaozhufeng and a group of people whispered, "It seems to be yours, right?" I rushed to Lolita. Xidao.
Lori Xi was also puzzled: "Stealing my heart because it should be like this..."
Xiaozhufeng speculates: "Did Mrs. Er also learn it?"
We discussed for a long time, and finally unanimously decided: "This matter is definitely over for Tai Er. It is still necessary for Lori Xi or I to play to turn the tide, and then this guy must be cleaned up!"
Tell me, what else can you do besides lie to you
This is just our speculation, but Tai Er seems to disagree. After turning three times, his eyes are slightly closed and his hands are spread out, thinking: "There is already a solution for this matter."
The girl quickly took out two red tickets and put them in his hand.
Then, we listened to the Taier real person faintly said: "Girl, I advise you to lose weight. If you continue like this, don't talk about the bed, even the floor may not be able to hold it!"
We suddenly said: "...!"
The second was an otaku with black eye bags and apathetic eyes. When he came out, his face was full of black lines: "Master, recently I was pressed by ghosts every night. When I opened my eyes, I saw a dark shadow on the head of the bed. I almost had a heart attack. Scared!"
"It's really true this time!" I looked around at everyone with a dilemma: "It's not a professional, right?"
Xiao Zuanfeng nodded in agreement: "Would you like to introduce him to a writer who writes horror novels? It is said that some are quite capable!"
Lori Xi smiled and said: "Wait, maybe Tai Er has a way?" She seems to have been inspired by the incident just now, and her confidence in Tai Er has also been erected. I immediately objected: "Don't! What should I do if something goes wrong?"
It’s the same again. We haven’t thought about it yet, but Tai Er came up with an idea ahead of time. He walked over to Xiao Zuan and said, "Go and buy me a pair of flat glasses, and then %...##%&*... ##￥%%"
I bought my glasses ten minutes later, and Tai Er posted two nude NV photos on them and handed them to the teenager, "Let’s go to bed and wear glasses later, so you won’t be afraid!"
I immediately said madly: "This is also OK?"
Tai Er laughed and said: "Why not? Otaku, do you think he can control who is sitting on the bedside when he sees two naked NVs? I just hope that the female ghost who presses the bed has better luck, don't let his blood boil. It’s good to be XXOO when..."
US:"… "
The otaku hadn’t gone out yet, and there was a scream of ghosts and wolves outside. Several old men joined forces and dragged a young man who was struggling in. They panted for help: “Master, help! My son’s girlfriend of three years talked with a rich second. He ran away, he couldn't think about committing suicide, please help us and persuade him!"
The young man twisted on the ground like a loach, and shouted hysterically: "I don't listen, I won't listen, I can't change my mind if I say anything..." The older brothers almost couldn't hold them back, and almost made him jump up from the ground. When I saw that the situation was not good, I immediately asked Wu Dalang to go up and help-as soon as he pressed it up, the young man was immediately honest, and he couldn't move his fingers when he rolled his eyes.
Tai Er is embarrassed: "Being trapped by love is the most difficult thing. It is not easy for you to ask me to save him!"
The old man immediately handed a stack of red tickets up. He didn’t even look at it in his pocket. Then his expression changed: “No matter, save a life is better than build a seventh-level buddha. I’ll help you-come, help me. This kid goes to the kitchen, and I will talk to him alone."
Everyone worked together to get people in. As the door slammed shut, everyone outside began to panic, but it was never before five minutes passed. Walking out, the haze on his face was swept away, thank you, and his dad went back happily, seeing everyone's eyes straightened...
Someone asked what Tai Er said, but he just laughed and didn't answer, making us a little bit confused: "Does this guy really have the ability to save people?"
We still want to watch it again, but at this time Ren Xiaoyan came back. In order to avoid panic caused by the sequelae of eating bacon cakes to the old man and the old lady, I could only ask the wife to take someone out to continue. A group of people immediately recommended the community elderly activity center. He hugged him and hurried away.
Ren Xiaoyan stunned and replied with a rare gaffe: "What's the matter? Tai Er suddenly became so popular?"
I casually said: "He went to the square dance to lead the dancer yesterday."
Ren Xiaoyan suddenly said: "So, it's no wonder," this incident was just said, she was concerned about getting fat, and then asked: "Is everything ready?"
I nodded and took something from my pocket and handed it up: "After eating it, you will gain weight soon."
Ren Xiaoyan hesitated holding this dough, which looked like dough but was actually dough. She felt a bit like a dog biting the bastard and had nowhere to go. I could only persuade me: "If it's really impossible, you should just pretend to be a lesbian. Not everyone can bear the catty!"
Ren Xiaoyan bit her lip and suddenly raised her head to look at me: "Is really fat, can I get down by myself?"
I looked at Kong Lao Er, he nodded, and I could only say, "Yes!"
Ren Xiaoyan didn't say a word, she walked upstairs with the dough, and her high heels stepped on the stairs. She just disappeared at the corner of the stairs. I suddenly shouted, "Ren Xiaoyan, wait!"
Everyone was shocked, Ren Xiaoyan even rushed back at a speed that burned her ass, terrified and said: "What's the matter? Isn't it possible to lose weight?"
Everyone turned their gazes to Kong Lao Er, and he yelled anxiously: "Who said you can't lose weight? I didn't say anything!"
Ren Xiaoyan turned her gaze on me again, and I said unequivocally: "You didn't get your clothes, when that time... ahem, what will you change then?"
Ren Xiaoyan picked up her clothes and went upstairs again. Everyone breathed a sigh of relief. Kong Lao Er complained to me: "What is going on, it almost makes me lose confidence!"
I smiled and said nothing, only Xiao Zuanfeng said: "That is, your ability to fool is far worse than Tai Er."
"What's wrong?" Kong Lao Er was a little unconvinced: "I was a disciple in the world at the time, and my ability to hold money was no worse than him. If it weren't for me to study traditional dance and the mystery of the rise of the nations, it was my turn. ?"
"Don't lie to you, the rise of China really has nothing to do with square dancing, so don't worry about it."
We weren’t interested in Kong Lao Er’s square dance, but the previous thing was different. The gossip fire was blazing, and a group of people were all excited except for the big and small bones who were busy in the kitchen and the meditating Ximen upstairs. The people came around, "Tell me about your great achievements?"
Kong Lao Er said triumphantly: "There is a saying I don't know if you have heard it, called: Thirty and stand, forty without confusion, fifty and know the destiny, sixty and ears, seventy and follow the heart, not overstepping the rules?"
I vaguely remember that when I was in school, I heard such a few sentences. They were talking about the rules that Kong Lao Er taught to be a human being. However, I am not clear on how to say it, so I vaguely said: "I know, what's wrong?"
"What's the matter?" The second child of Kong laughed, "Actually, this is the charging rules of my cram school. Specifically, it is like this: 30 yuan a month can only stand and listen; forty is not confused, Forty dollars can ask questions until you have no doubts; fifty to know the destiny, that is to pay fifty taels, you can know the propositions of the daily quiz; sixty ears are straight, which can afford the price of sixty taels, I can still give you Say something nice at home to make your parents listen to your ears. Seventy is what you want, which means that you have to read novels, sleep, or not in class. You don’t have to follow the rules. Anyway, you are a pass..."
We were dumbfounded at hearing, and for a long time we all said together: "It's dark! It's too dark!"
(Guess, what did Madam Taier say to the young man, can he turn his grief into joy in an instant?) (End of this chapter)