The first time I saw Yu Xiaoya, it was on the bus to the winter camp. Her eyes were red and she was crying on the back of the chair in front of her.
Her parents are a pair of very ordinary middle-aged men and women, the father seems to be gentle, and the mother is a little serious.
Yu Xiaoya, I didn't know her name at the time. The first thing I noticed was that she patted her face with her hands to make her expression more natural, then waved goodbye to her parents, and the corners of her mouth were pulled up mechanically. pull.
It was a somewhat stiff fake smile.
But I don't think she's stupid at all, because I used to be like this. In order not to worry my mother in the village, I adjusted my expression every day and went home.
A friend once said, I am a very warm person, and my life probably only exists in fairy tales. When you wake up every day, you are greeted by sweets and flowers; when you sleep every day, you are accompanied by the moon and stars.
No twists and turns, no haze.
But fairy tales are fairy tales because they only exist in people's imaginations.
At least, my life is not a fairy tale. When I saw Yu Xiaoya, I thought of my former self. It was a memory that was not so pleasant, but it really existed.
However, I did not intend to have any intersection with Yu Xiaoya.
Until the teacher who led the winter camp arranged, I became roommates with her.
I lived alone at the winter camp last year, and I thought it would be the same this year.
Although my father was not a good father in the general sense, he respected me, never regarded my thoughts as the will of a child, and was willing to take care of my feelings. He knew that I didn't want to spend the New Year at home, so he signed up for the winter camp for me; he also knew that I didn't like being in the same room with strangers, so he contacted the school in advance to help me arrange a single room.
But this year, an accident seems to have occurred.
Yu Xiaoya, my roommate. She is a girl like a small stream, shallow and clear, and she can look to the end at a glance.
She came over cautiously, greeted me, and said, "Hello." Seeing me finish my meal and put my plate on the recycling rack, she followed suit, and I wanted to tell her, "There's no need for that." I Just got used to it.
But I didn't say it, she was just a stranger.
On the way back, she kept walking behind me like a little girl. I didn't bully her. I asked her to come to me...
When she heard me speak, her whole face lit up.
As for
It was around this time that I realized that my emotions were not right. I think, probably because I found something similar to her, a long time ago, I also desperately wanted to be recognized by others.
After arriving in room 201, I checked the room facilities. This has always been a habit of mine. No matter what I do, I have to prepare in advance, and don't look for people everywhere when things are imminent. For others and for oneself, it is not good.
Yu Xiaoya went to take a bath, and I received a call from Teacher Xu. She said that there was a plan to arrange a single room for me, but there were more than a dozen rooms in the two small buildings, and all the students and teachers were just put down. She asked me if I could stay for one night. Tomorrow Teacher Qi will contact the homestay and he will move out. .
I said, no, Yu Xiaoya is fine. During the winter camp, the two of us can live together.
If today's roommate was someone else, I wouldn't be so good at talking, just because it was her. Such a sensitive girl, if I move out tomorrow, she still doesn't know what she will think.
That night, after a long absence, I dreamed of the past again.
From what I can remember, I have been in Windmill Country, a very ordinary small village. People in many villages knew each other, and there were no immigrants except for my mother and me.
There is a small hillside next to the village, and a museum is built on the hillside, which displays many materials during World War II. This is the site of a famous battle. The museum is well-known, but there are no big cities nearby, and few people come here to visit.
My mother works at the museum.
I stayed in the kindergarten in the village during the day, and many children had never seen a person with black hair and black eyes, and they were surprised to see me. However, apart from the two little boys who saw me as good looking, fought over who would marry me in the future, and made me famous in the village, everything went well.
It may be that life in the village is relatively quiet. Mother rarely thinks or talks by herself. She smiles more. Occasionally, she will go out for a drink with our neighbors, or bring some Chinese cuisine. Attend a party hosted by my classmate's parents.
I love those parties, sometimes beer parties, some seafood parties.
The security in the village is very good, and it doesn't matter that adults and children are all dizzy. My mother only let me drink a little beer, I don't understand why such a bad thing, so many people like it, and it's gone after a sip, and I don't regret it.
Sometimes the theme of the party is seafood. Our village is not far from the sea, and there is always fresh and cheap seafood.
Another time, my mother hosted a Chinese party. She prepared for three days and cooked a lot of Chinese dishes. I never knew my mother was so good at cooking, we used to always eat pizza when we were at home...
All the people who came to the party were full of praise for the Chinese cuisine, and when they drank, they asked their mother if she wanted to quit her job in the museum and open a Chinese restaurant in the village.
My mother refused, and she liked her work at the museum. That kind of life made her feel full and meaningful.
Since then, my mother has become more and more fond of cooking, and we have become more and more happier, and the people around us have completely accepted us. Later, my grandfather's family and my mother resumed contact, and our economy became very good all of a sudden. I went to almost all places to buy things without looking at the price.
When did the change happen
It should have started when we left the village and I went to middle school. My mother went to Acheng, the city known as the "Diamond Capital". I grew up in a small village, we usually speak Pinwheel, and my mother taught me a little Chinese.
As for English, I'm not bad at learning it.
But I went to an international school in the Diamond City, all teaching in English, and many students even came from other English-speaking countries in Europe.
After I came to China, I have also seen campus bullying here, at most it is to isolate you. But in the Diamond City, where you clearly show that you are different, your black hair and black eyes, your yellow skin, your broken English accent, they will bully you in every way they can think of.
There was a time when I would see my name written on the blackboard ugly every day, someone would give me the middle finger when I was walking on the road, the drawer was full of bananas, and the workbook disappeared.
Even if I was the first to the restaurant, I was the last to get the food. I told the teacher seriously and seriously what I had encountered, but they said, "It's just a game, they're joking."
I tried to treat them with indifference, but in exchange for their intensification.
I have a friend at school who grew up in the same village as me. He is very nice. He tries to reason with other people, but he arouses the rebellious psychology of some idiots.
When all civilized methods cannot solve the problem, we can only resort to force.
During the holidays, I cut my waist-length hair, and learned how to fight with my neighbor's uncle. Anyone who dared to give me the middle finger, I repaid them with my fist.
If I can only protect myself by wearing armor and holding a sword, I will never hesitate.
After my friends and I in my village smashed the cafeteria for the third time in self-defense, the teachers of each class had to repeatedly declare that all discrimination is prohibited in the school.
Our school is the best VWO in our local area, less than 15% of the students can get more than 8 points in the subject (Windmill Country adopts a ten-point system, 10 is the best, 1 is the worst), but I can get all subjects to 9, 9.5 or 10.
The teachers in Windmill Country are fairly fair, they will give you some stumbling blocks, such as temporarily changing the focus before the test, and the review materials sent by the group miss one or two people, but as long as you complete all the after-school tasks, write them during the test. For the right answer, the score he should give will not be less than 0.1 for you.
In the third year of middle school, no one dared to throw anything at me, and by that time I had already mastered the fighting skills.
In addition, in the past two years, I gradually grew up, and many people wanted to date me. Sometimes people get beat up without me doing it.
This is probably my greatest achievement in middle school, teaching some children to respect people
Emotionally, though, I'm very late. In the village, I always had to take care of my mother who was drunk and dreaming. Later, I learned Chinese and cooking with my mother every day. In the diamond city, I had to deal with the wealthy N generation who were not successful, and I was addicted to fighting for a while.
After all these things are over, I also thought that I would find a football team captain to fall in love like in the American TV series? However, it wasn't until this time that I realized that I didn't seem to like boys.
It's like you admire a galloping horse, even love it, but don't want to have sex with it.
My kind are girls.
But I haven't found the girl I'm interested in, and the school year is over and the school has a school dance. At the ball, the students will choose the king and queen. I didn't dance with any of the boys, but I was the queen of that dance.
They call me "Queen" and some call me "Goddess".
I completely conquered there in my own way.
VWO is a six-year high school and I was supposed to be in another three years.
At this time, my mother asked me, "Do you want to go back to China to see?"
The author has something to say: The main text is not over yet, just interspersed with a chapter.
It is tentatively scheduled to end at the end of February, and there are about 5w words left. Thank you for your support, okay