Human regret is complicated.
He couldn't tell how much was mixed in with that regret.
Maybe he liked it a bit, but more, maybe at that moment, he knew that he had lost Li Rong, his wife forever.
And Li Rong represented not only a person he might like, but she also represented what he might have had, a complete family.
If he knew how to be a good husband, how a man should handle things after marriage, and how to take responsibility for himself, if he could figure out what he should take care of and what he should not take care of, maybe he would have met Li Rong sooner rather than later. With children, they can live a good life on their own.
This remorse peaked when Li Rong and Su Rongqing were together.
He quarreled with Li Rong, Li Rong slapped her, and he pushed and shoved Li Rong. They showed each other their ugliest gestures. Li Rong called him useless. He said that Li Rong was dissolute, and they hated each other. For a long time, they quarreled when they met. He felt that this woman was rude and unreasonable, indulgent and depraved; she felt that he was wicked and cunning, with a small stomach.
After arguing for a long time, he didn't even remember what Li Rong looked like back then, let alone, in fact, at the beginning, he too, maybe he liked her a little bit.
The two of them later spent most of their lives discussing political affairs in front of allies, but at the same time they couldn't understand each other's behavior and were suspicious of each other.
From the beginning when I saw her and Su Rongqing together, I felt unwilling, regretful and painful, but when I saw them later, there was only numbness and dislike.
Because the two of them could snuggle with each other and accompany each other, even if Su Rongqing killed Li Rong in the end, Pei Wenxuan knew very well that Su Rongqing should be sincere to Li Rong even a moment before he did it.
The two of them have gone through twenty-five years, but he has always been alone and alone.
Every time he saw children and happy families, he would feel at a loss. Sitting in a friend's house with many children would make him feel a little uncomfortable.
The older he got, the easier it would be for him to think of some clips from his youth. He would clearly remember that Li Rong was lying on the bed with him, thinking about how many children he should have, whether he liked boys or girls.
He used to hate Su Rongqing, and felt that he stole his happiness, but now that he has lived and died, Su Rongqing is not the Su Rongqing of the year, and Li Rong has also become the eighteen-year-old Li Rong. It's not someone else's fault that life has come to that point, he is responsible for the negative.
If he could do it all over again in this life, he wanted to have a good life with Li Rong, and he wanted to be a good husband.
However, in this life, Li Rong is still the same Li Rong.
He would never have the one-hearted wife of eighteen, and he lost interest in the marriage. Even if you know about this marriage, it may be unavoidable.
Pei Wenxuan was thinking wildly, and fell asleep in a dazed way.
They slept all night until dawn, and the two slowly woke up in the early cold.
The fire next to it had been extinguished, leaving only some ash that was still warm. The two of them huddled together in the night before they knew it, and it was so cold in the morning that Li Rong woke up in a daze, leaning on Pei Wenxuan's arm, Called: "Pei Wenxuan."
Pei Wenxuan opened his eyes and immediately felt his hands numb, and then he reacted to what happened. He pretended to be calm, and drew his hands first, then stood up. Li Rong looked at him without blinking, seeing that his posture was very stiff. Can't help but say: "What are you nervous about?"
"I'm afraid you're thinking about it."
Pei Wenxuan replied: "So I was thinking, how can I prove my innocence."
Li Rong got this and couldn't help laughing out loud: "What innocence?"
"I didn't do anything last night." Pei Wenxuan said seriously, "So don't wrong me."
"I know."
Seeing that he was so serious, Li Rong lost her interest in teasing him, and stood up with a yawn: "You haven't reached the point where you don't feel anything."
When Pei Wenxuan heard this, he was stunned for a while, and then he reacted, blushing immediately, and after holding it for a long time, he said, "Li Rong, you will be more reserved in the future."
Li Rong ignored him, gave a soft "ha", and walked to the river by herself, squatting by the river to wash.
Pei Wenxuan hesitated for a while, and finally chose to go to the river to wash up with Li Rong.
After taking care of themselves, the two got up and walked out along the river. When the sun came up, there was a sudden sound of horse hooves around. Pei Wenxuan grabbed Li Rong and immediately said, "Hide first!"
The two hurried into the grass next to them. Pei Wenxuan folded a branch with leaves for Li Rong. Li Rong was at a loss: "What is this?"
Pei Wenxuan raised the branch earnestly and whispered, "Cover."
Li Rong: "..."
She suddenly knew what the swaying reeds she had seen before were dizzy, she thought it was an illusion.
Although Li Rong felt that Pei Wenxuan's behavior was really stupid, she couldn't help holding up the branch, comforting herself not to be afraid of ten thousand, but to be cautious.
The two of them squatted holding the branches for a long time, and finally saw the person coming. They saw Su Rongqing riding a horse in front, and behind him leading some of the Su family servants looking for something.
When Li Rong saw Su Rongqing, she relaxed a lot. The Su family is the first of the noble family, and the family is upright. Su Rongqing is a gentleman, and does not participate in any party disputes, not to mention that the mastermind this time is Yang Quan, Su Rongqing's people, there should be no threat.
She immediately wanted to get up, but Pei Wenxuan grabbed her, shook his head, and signaled to wait.
Li Rong knew that Pei Wenxuan was used to being extremely cautious and did not object, so she squatted down again and waited with Pei Wenxuan.
After a while, I saw several servants from the East Palace rushing over, and then I heard the voice of a young man, shouting from afar, "Young Master Su, I heard that you have found your sister?"
As she said that, a young man dressed in white with four-finger dragon pattern embroidered and a golden crown inlaid with beads on his head rushed into Li Rong's field of vision and stopped in front of Su Rongqing.
Su Rongqing saluted and said respectfully, "Your Highness."
"There's no need to salute," the young man said while riding on the horse, looking around, "Where's my sister?"
"I saw the traces of the fire before, so I must have walked downstream." Su Rongqing answered calmly, and then she was a little puzzled, "Why is Your Highness in such a hurry?"
While Su Rongqing and Li Chuan were talking, Li Rong and Pei Wenxuan hid in the dark. When Li Rong saw the person coming, she no longer hesitated, turned to look at Pei Wenxuan, and asked, "Let's go?"
Pei Wenxuan nodded, Li Rong stood up, Shi Shiran stepped out of the haystack, and shouted in the distance, "Chuan'er."
Hearing this, everyone looked over, Li Chuan was stunned, then got off his horse excitedly, and trotted directly towards Li Rong.
Li Rong looked at the young man rushing towards him. He looked like he was only sixteen or seventeen years old. It seemed that because he ran so fast, his pale complexion was rarely stained with a little red.
With undisguised worry in his eyes, he ran all the way to Li Rong, panting and said, "Sister, you, are you alright?"
"What can I do?" Li Rong looked at the young Li Chuan and said with a smile, "It's you who ran so quickly, don't get distracted."
"I'm fine," Li Chuan waved his hand, "I just heard people say that you were assassinated, and now you can't find anyone, I'm frightened. Sister, are you alright, you didn't let anyone... "
Before he finished speaking, Pei Wenxuan came out from behind the grass.
His clothes were stained with soil, and his hair was not neat, but his facial features were too handsome, even in such a messed up posture, he showed an overwhelming calmness.
Li Chuan's voice was blocked, and everyone stared blankly at Pei Wenxuan coming out. Pei Wenxuan saw Li Chuan and respectfully saluted Li Chuan: "Wei Chen Pei..."
Hearing the voice, Li Chuan finally reacted. Without saying a word, he raised his fist and smashed it towards Pei Wenxuan, shouting loudly, "You bastard, I'm going to kill you today!!"