Life seems to be just a frenzy, like a fever. When the fever subsides, consciousness becomes clear, and then everything disappears, life ends.
So, how exactly should we recognize our own existence
"... I raised my arms high and shouted to show you what I was capable of; he said, you dare to come closer."
So Renly did it.
"Going around, going around, we're wandering around the world; tell me, tell me, you've come to your senses. Not sure how to express your inner feelings, what you've done makes me feel like I can't turn around and leave, lingering like a shadow. :"
"I want you to stay (Stay)."
Simple and clear words, but vividly showed the struggle and pain deep in his heart: he didn't understand what happened, he couldn't describe his feelings in words, he was trapped in a rut that he couldn't get rid of or break through, In this way, he was imprisoned and turned around in the same place.
This is love.
The confinement stemming from emotional entanglement, unable to speak or express, just entangled himself in countless threads, and then fell into suffocation little by little.
It's not just love.
Originating from the self-doubt in the depths of the soul, how firm it was and how dazed it is now, the huge gap savagely and brutally defeated all lines of defense.
The only thing he could find was that wisp of obsession, like a little spark in the darkness. If even this obsession dissipates, will his existence disappear completely? Because the values and ideas he used to define his life all fell apart.
The confusion of self-doubt and the fear of self-destruction caused a cry from the bottom of my heart: "Stay."
The flat and indifferent singing does not seem to have any special force, but it tells the bitterness and sourness in an understatement, and the lonely piano keys are vented like moonlight, awakening a thin layer of chicken skin on the surface of the skin. Pimples, chills just like this one after another.
Sad and tender, hopeless and light.
The entire pioneer village fell silent, and it seemed that everyone could hear their own voices: standing in the endless barren wilderness, crying out in loneliness and pain, but getting no response.
"It's trivial in your life, it's not greed, it's selfless giving. Going around, going around, we're all over the world; tell me, tell me, you've come to your senses. Not sure how to express your feelings, your What I did, made me feel unable to turn around and leave, lingering like a shadow:
I want you to stay. "
The narration, which is eloquently told, has no ups and downs, no stormy waves, no hurricanes and rains, just flowing slowly like a gurgling water, making a ding dong sound.
But every note landed on the eardrums of the listeners, beating lightly but heavily on the atrium, the emotional restraint dragged the ankles and slowly sinking, as if witnessing the process of drowning, but not struggling or not. No resistance, just staring numbly at his own death.
Zero Point Reading Network
Simplified and light-hearted, Renly's approach allows all emotions to fall on the narrative, where every lyric, every note has meaning, and then the emotions slowly stack up.
"Oh... my reason for perseverance."
"Oh... I need to heal the black hole inside."
Between sighs and sighs, the gentle and light touch fell like this, like a pair of palms slowly supporting the face, the slight warmth revealed by the palms made the coldness of the face clear, and only then did I realize that I had already Tears flowed down my face; the loneliness and confusion were gnawing at my heart, and the whole person became fragmented:
They need a little support, even a little warmth in the palm of their hand.
"Ironically, it's you who's broken and I'm the one who needs to be saved; because when the light of hope goes out, there's no way of knowing who's digging their own grave."
God!
The scars hidden between the lines make every audience feel the same, deeply immersed in their own wounds and pain and unable to extricate themselves.
The shards in the depths of the soul can no longer be cleaned up, and there seems to be no more light in the boundless darkness. Even they don't know who is hurting who and who is saving who. Maybe, each of them is digging their own graves and burying their own lives bit by bit.
So what should they do? What can they do
Just like the first lyric: It's just been a frenzy for a long time.
The fever is gone, sober, and the world is destroyed. They personally destroyed the once fanatical self, so what is the meaning of life? Who are they? What are they holding on to? What should we do? Who is still alive, the former self and the present self
After a slight pause, Renly hummed lowly again, "I can't figure out how to express my inner feelings. What you've done makes me feel like I can't turn around and leave, lingering like a shadow."
So simple yet so profound, so light yet so real, so hard, so hard hit the bridge of the nose, the softest part of the heart twists up hard, they don't know what's wrong with them, and they don't know how they should be How to express it, I was just trapped in a kind of emotion that I didn't know what to do.
confused. Puzzled. hesitate. Fear, panic.
Fear of age, doubts about life, interpretation of life... From youth to middle age to old age, everyone has their own confusion. Just like the mid-life crisis, everyone in modern society has their own problems. But no one could know the answer.
As a result, the "mourning" culture is becoming more and more popular, life seems to have no meaning, and everyone is just an island drifting aimlessly.
"I want you to stay."
Renly called out softly, the phrase "Stay" slowly lengthened, the tone rose a little bit, and the emotions were released a little bit, and then it burst out like this.
It wasn't a heart-wrenching roar, but a helpless cry in despair. The pain slowly flowed out from the gradually increasing scale, but Renly's voice was extraordinarily restrained, touching the high point lightly, He spun down gently, lest a little too much force might break the balance, and then reveal the fragility deep in his heart, so he cautiously retracted back, that kind of lightness, but heavier and more powerful.
There was no dazzling or fancy, and then calmed down again, but with a hidden trembling in his voice, he sang again, "I want you to stay."
That's all there is to it.
No one knows what will happen, no one knows if life is really meaningless, and no one knows what comes after death.
Renly's question, like everyone else's, had no answer. Because life is different, everyone's questions have their own troubles and pains. There is no standard answer to answer them. You can only find them by yourself.
But their only requirement is, "residence". Maybe it's a lover, maybe a relative, maybe a friend... Maybe it's a fanatical love, maybe it's a brave adventure, maybe it's an ethereal extravagance, maybe it's a distant dream... Everyone has their own obsession, and No matter what the obsession is, I hope "you" can stay and stay by my side, so that life can find its center of gravity and weight again.
reside.
What a humble and desperate call, I didn't even dare to make too many demands, I just hoped to stay, even if it was just like a good walking corpse standing not far away, don't go far, this is enough. Such a trivial and insignificant wish, I pray that it will come true.
The bitterness and sadness hidden behind the call, only oneself can know.
More than Renly? Every alcoholic present who chose the pioneer village has more or less his own obsession, as well as his own confusion and confusion. Those armors and masks disintegrated little by little in Renly's singing, and then So completely collapsed, disarmed and surrendered.
"Oh... stay."
Renly called softly, and then he closed his eyes abruptly, and before the tears broke through the restraints of his eyes, he kept his fragility firmly on the tip of his tongue, and let the bitterness spread like this; the fingertips quickly Folded up, clenched into a fist, to prevent the slight tremor from revealing himself.
But the turbulence and agitation in his heart were a little out of control.
He remembered, he remembered it all, why he didn't like to sing on stage, because actors wear masks and show their true emotions by playing others, while singers need to take off their masks and show their truest selves ; Why Heather Cross loves acting so fervently, just like what he hates, that "Beast" leaks too much of his vulnerability and loss.
Why hasn't he performed in public again all these years, because the wound that belongs to Heather in his heart has never healed; why he has repeatedly delayed the recording of the second series, because he is afraid that Heather will never hear his singing again; those countless "Why", now has the answer.
Perhaps, this is what he desperately needs now: facing his true self.
No more running away, no more hiding behind the characters, facing the pain and scars of these years, Heather, Paul and Edith, and Philip, and George and Elizabeth... He's not superman, every time Injuries leave wounds that cannot go away completely even if healed.
He needs to show his true self through melody. As Heather said: When the music is flowing, I will realize that there are some things that the darkness can't take away from me after all.
such as dreams. Such as obsession. And... like memories. Like himself.
Somewhere, fate brought him back to the pioneer village again, and then on the stage again, looking for the first beginning here, maybe this is the answer.
After the song was finished, Renly just sat there quietly, bathed in the spotlight, feeling the beating of his heart against his chest. At least, it was a familiar rhythm and sound, now! Right now! This is all familiar and seems to be the .asxs. of everything.
The air just settles down.
Note: Stay (Stay—Rihanna & Mikky-Ekko)