Darkness, boundless darkness, as if you were in the universe, that extreme darkness began to swallow light, hope, and vitality. , even time has lost its meaning, a pause of a second is no different from a century of long.
Quiet, suppressed to the ultimate quiet, hold your breath, there is no sound at all, even the sound of air flow seems to disappear, and there is a slow flow of water in the silence, which makes people stunned. His eyes listened carefully, trying to catch a glimpse of life, but only later did he realize that it was the sound of his own blood flowing, as if it were an auditory hallucination, and the boundaries between the real and the illusory began to disappear.
After being exhausted, Renly began to look for every little movement, and even the sound of fingertips rubbing against fingertips was amplified to the extreme.
Why is he here? Who is he? Is he Renly, or Paul, or a wandering spirit that doesn't exist at all? What is he doing now? What is he chasing after? Should he survive? How should I survive? Wouldn't it be better for him to just give up, anyway, he has already died once, and there is nothing terrible for him to die again? No, he should continue to live because his wife Linda and son Sean are still waiting for him at home, he doesn't want to die, he's only twenty-seven years old, life has just begun, he doesn't want to die!
Cell phone, yes, his cell phone!
The flames of hope blazed weakly, and he began to search his pockets for traces of his phone, but there was nothing in his trouser pockets. Shirt? What about the top? But today he was wearing a T-shirt and no jacket at all. By the way, there are pockets in the back of the pants, no, still no.
"Bang! Bang Bang!" His emotions were easily out of control and slammed on the wooden board. There was a burst of pain from the slightly swollen fist, but the muscles were almost numb, and they just slammed down nonchalantly.
Why was he in such a predicament? How on earth did he get himself into such a predicament
Iraq, yes, Iraq. They lost everything in the goddamn real estate bubble, and there's just... $700 in the bank account, huh, $700 hell, and he can't even eat a steak, let alone a mortgage.
Because of this financial crisis, he and Linda have been quarreling for nearly thirteen months. All love, all sweetness, and all happiness have become fragmented in the face of the existential crisis, and every day is a torment.
They used to have a good time, crazy love in college, you and me in the newlyweds, they used their own hands to build their happy homes little by little. But he was transferred to the bottom overnight, and the huge gap left both of them at a loss. He even lost his job, which made things worse.
"The Age of Rebirth"
He couldn't remember when the quarrel started. It might have been a little thing at first. He didn't put the milk in the refrigerator after drinking it. He forgot to turn off the lights when he left the kitchen. … But then, the quarrel started to get out of control, and they started cursing each other, complaining about each other, hating each other, and becoming like they didn’t know each other.
Their lives have fallen apart. Iraq is his only option, if he refuses, the bank will take away their house at the latest next summer, at the earliest at the end of this year. He and Linda are building their home. He doesn't have much choice, does he
What's more, at the time, Iraq was not a bad choice, with generous remuneration and high pensions, and, as a non-combatant, the Iraqi side would not take the initiative to attack. In the event of an accident, not only would the company reimburse, The government/government would not stand idly by, he even had a joke with Linda at the time, "Or else I would have sacrificed directly there, so that there would be a way out for our family's mortgage."
Stupid, utterly stupid!
Had he never thought about the dangers of Iraq? No, he thought about it, but he selectively ignored it! He never learned the lesson.
He wants to go home, he just wants to go home now, he misses Linda's smile, he misses Sean's mischief, God, he even misses Hastings' cold, stiff winter. But now he is trapped in this small box, in this small box that can't even stretch his hands and feet, and then quietly waits to die, quietly waits for the oxygen to be consumed, and then cruelly cuts off all life.
How ridiculous, isn't it? What's even more ridiculous is that now he doesn't even have the strength to cry. He just wants to laugh. Despair began to gnaw at his heart.
He is really a coward, a coward who is afraid of death. He didn't even have a decent fight to survive. He was captured just like that. He didn't wait for Iraq's execution or nature to swallow him. He just gave up and lay down here and waited to die. He is a disgrace, a joke. Does he still want to challenge his acting skills? Does he still want to realize his dream? Does he still want to be a great actor? This is simply the most ridiculous joke of the 21st century.
Elizabeth and George are right, he doesn't have any talent, he doesn't have any talent, the dream of acting is just an ethereal wishful thinking, dreaming of shocking the audience with performances like those top actors, dreaming of acting like those artists On the road, I have created my own piece of the sky, dreaming of having my own place like those famous names, but all this is just the pride and paranoia in my heart, and it is just the unwillingness and anger of the previous life.
He is just a mediocre person without any talent for acting, not even "Huang Zhongyong", because at least Zhongyong has been brilliant, like a meteor, but he is just an ordinary person who does nothing. This was the case in the previous life, and this life is also true. Even if he is reborn, he is still a loser.
He is like Sisyphus in ancient Greek mythology, trying tirelessly to push the boulder to the top of the mountain, but because the boulder is too heavy, he often rolls down the mountain before reaching the top, and all his previous efforts are in vain. So, he kept on repeating and sitting on it endlessly, and his life was slowly consumed in such an ineffective and hopeless labor.
This is the punishment of the gods.
He thinks he is chasing his dreams, he thinks he is pushing the boulder, and once he succeeds, he will create brilliance and deny the gods. Every day's struggle is so fulfilling and exciting, but in fact it is just a stupid repetition. He smashed his head into blood and still didn't want to give up. He tried thousands of times and still couldn't break the shackles. In the end, he spent his whole life staying on this steep slope that could never be achieved.
This is the source of his faith, but also the source of his misery.
So, should he give up? Or is he giving up now? He gave up his dreams, and even gave up his struggles. After all, the two lives ended in the same ending - lying here quietly waiting to die, unable to do anything, or to do nothing at all
No, he will not surrender! He refused to disarm and surrender! No matter what the result is, even if he dies again in the end, he will fight to the end, he will not accept his fate, let alone give up.
Calm down, he has to calm down.
He doesn't have any tools now, he can only rely on his hands - yes, and feet, and a flash of light comes to mind, he's wearing sneakers today, and there are laces on the shoes, if he finds a gap, stretch the laces Go out, can you send a distress signal? Maybe too weak, too inconspicuous, but at least a glimmer of hope!
So he began to calm down, his attention was highly concentrated, all cluttered thoughts were excluded, and he slowly fumbled with his hands on the wall, trying to find the seam between the coffin and the lid, the tactile feeling in the darkness and tranquility began Become sensitive, as if you can clearly feel every touch of the silk, just like a poisonous snake slowly moving forward in the mud, touching every inch of the land with its body, and then quietly waiting for the chance of a fatal blow.
found it!
His fingertips touched the slightly invisible gap, and he hurriedly tucked the extra surrounding fabric into the gap, made a mark, and then began to take off his shoes.
After taking off the shoe on his right foot, he realized that the whole person was confined in a limited space, and he couldn't reach the bottom of his feet at all. It was a brain short circuit! Fortunately, there is a left foot.
He raised his left foot in parallel, then grabbed the trousers with both hands and tried to pull it up, but before his fingertips could touch it, his knees hit the wall, and there was at least half a palm between his hands and the fingertips on the soles of his feet— In the darkness, he could not be completely sure, and could only rely on instinct to grope.
Gritting his teeth, he abruptly began to stretch his hand down, his shoulders against the wall, and his head against the wall. Waves of pain surged from the limit of suffocation, but he was unknown, and his right hand tried hard. Going down to explore, a little, a little, and a little more, the blood vessels are almost bursting, the muscles all over the body are already tense to the extreme... Enough, finally enough, the right hand grabs the left leg of the trousers, and then a Pulling up a little bit, his neck and knees would be broken, as if with a little more strength, he would directly break his throat and die, every cell in his body was moaning/groaning in pain, but he still did not give up, killing him. Red eyes continued to persist.
Heels, shoes, ankles... The fingertips are stretched to the extreme, almost cramping, unable to exert force at all, and can only rely on weak strength and the cooperation of the feet to try to take off the shoes without losing them self-defeatingly.
"Huh", I finally took off my shoes and hooked them with my fingertips! But at this time, his index finger was already twisted due to cramps, and he couldn't straighten it at all, showing a strange angle. He didn't care, he didn't care at all, he hooked the shoe and took it up, quickly removed the shoelace, and quickly found what he had just done. Well marked crevices.
He needs to open the gap a little and a little more so the laces can get out!
The eyes covered with red silk shone brightly in the dark, completely lost their reason, contained a surging murderous aura, fell into madness, and went crazy.