… She didn't know why, she just got used to it and stood in a fixed place waiting for him.
Ji Chengyang opened the door. He had the habit of turning off the lights at will, even if he was away for a short time: "I'm afraid of the dark, didn't find the switch?" He asked casually, groping for the position of the switch.
She muttered: "No, I told you... I'm not so afraid of the dark, and I was not a kid."
With a click, the ward lit up.
The corners of Ji Chengyang's eyes raised slightly: "You are always small in my eyes."
"Twenty-two months have passed."
"Oh? Really," he twisted the tip of her nose lightly, "I'm thirty-one."
There were books and an open computer on the table. He tidied them away. She followed and took out the food from the plastic bag. Ji Chengyang took it and put them on the table one by one, while she just stood by and watched him work.
It was like staying in his house before, he never let her interfere with housework, and drove her away every time: "There are not many things, so you don't need to do it with two people." Although his cooking is not very delicious, The clothes all rely on the help of the washing machine, and the room is cleaned so-so. Only the study and library will be carefully organized...
But he did all these by himself, and would not leave it to her to do it.
What he cared about her was her studies, grades, and physical and mental health. To a certain extent, Ji Chengyang in the past was more like her guardian, caring more about her growth than her parents and relatives, and completely pampered her.
She went to wash her hands, took the towel from the metal shelf, rubbed it in the warm water, wringed it out, and wanted to wipe his hands. When she closed the faucet, she found that Ji Chengyang was already leaning against the door, looking at herself.
It's the look that doesn't want to talk too much, just wants to watch her quietly for a while.
Ji Yi was a little embarrassed when he was seen. He didn't know what he was thinking, so he randomly found a topic to fill the sudden silence: "I went back to school and heard from the teachers that Tibet was in riots, which started in the afternoon."
"08 is the year of the Olympics, and it is destined not to be a peaceful year," he said calmly as he knew what he had learned. "A few days ago, a large number of monks spread out the Snow Mountain Lion Flag at the Jokhang Temple Square. On the same day, there were 17 Chinese The consulates abroad have been violently attacked. Everyone guessed that something bigger would happen... Unfortunately, such violent incidents cannot be predicted in advance, such as 9/11."
Some memories appeared quietly.
He remembered the call he had received from her in Philadelphia on 9/11. At that time, the little girl was very nervous and told him not to run around. He agreed, but after finishing the call, he left Philadelphia and drove alone to New York where the accident occurred.
This is the duplicity of a man.
"I hope no more accidents," Ji Yi grabbed his fingers, pulled his arms closer, and went to wipe his hands. "How good is the world." The cuffs of Ji Chengyang's shirt were not fastened, and a faint light appeared. Red scars.
Ji Yi panicked suddenly, wanting to see clearly.
He grabbed her hand and didn't let her move his sleeves anymore.
"Is it injured in Iraq?" She panicked even more and raised her head.
Ji Chengyang looked down at her face and the hand holding the towel, and explained lightly: "Some shrapnel scrapes, and metal scrapes when avoiding shells in the trenches." He did not lie, some of the trauma did come from the early days. Interview.
"Let me see," she stared at his wrist dumbfoundedly, looking deep into the cuff, "sooner or later... I want to see."
This kind of thing is indeed unavoidable.
"See, don't be scared," Ji Chengyang's voice was a little low, his voice relaxed and calm, "Don't cry."
She agreed casually and put the towel by the pool.
Ji Chengyang rolled up the cuffs of his shirt and pulled it above his elbow. Starting from his wrist, the dark red scar spanned the entire inner arm of his arm. Such a position was so shocking that it easily outlined a bloody picture. The rest are irregular scars, entrenched on the outside of the arm and elbow.
This is only the right arm.
Ji Yi tried to suppress the soreness of his nose, but got the opposite effect, tears gushing out. She didn't dare to look up, so she held his fingers, shaking her shoulders, and cried silently.
She couldn't help it, she couldn't control it at all.
All Ji Chengyang could see was her soft hair and the tiny ears exposed in it. Earlobes are small and thin. Like him, according to the older generation, the thinner the earlobes are, the less blessed and ill-fated people are. But he didn't shed many tears, as if he had double-raised on her.
Ji Chengyang pulled down the cuffs of his shirt and reached out to hold her face, the palms of his hands were immediately wet.
I really cried.
I'm afraid this is... Women's duplicity.
"Men are not afraid of getting hurt," he pulled out her hair and kissed her small ear tips. "It's just a little ugly."
It's not an ugly question at all...
She wanted to ask, her ears suddenly became a little hot.
The tiny pinna was held by him and tortured lightly between the teeth.
He wanted to hide, but didn't hide, he kissed her lips along her earlobe to the side of her neck, and the little collarbone exposed by the neckline of the towel. Her chest was violently up and down, still crying in a low voice. Ji Chengyang's movements were a bit fierce at first, but then slowly stopped, looked at her red eyes, and suddenly laughed: "Little tears."
Husky, helpless, and gentle.
Ji Yi was bewildered by his tenderness, and stared at him.
"If you encounter anything, you have to cry first..." Ji Chengyang approached again, trying to kiss her.
Ji Yi avoided, and asked with a strong nasal voice: "Also, how many injuries are there..."
More than tear packs, as long as they cry, they choke, out of breath, and speak intermittently.
These have not changed since childhood.
"How much more?" Ji Chengyang fell into a brief silence. He never thought of deceiving or concealing. He just wanted to pick a suitable time to tell it. What made her suddenly want to explore the truth of the matter like this? Because the words that Nuannuan's father said just now stimulated her? Ji Yi looked into his eyes, unable to see any mood swings behind the dark eyes, and became even more panicked: "You must tell me the truth, you can't lie to me..."
"I have removed part of my liver and repeatedly fractured my thigh three times. I have lower immunity than ordinary people and I can't do more walking," he told her in the shortest possible way of the unavoidable physical trauma. "So In the future, let alone the battlefield, even ordinary domestic interviews will be difficult to complete."
"Also..." He paused for a few seconds, and said the reason why he was always hesitant. "According to the doctor's diagnosis, the probability that I will have a child in the future is very low, almost impossible."
Her heart sank completely, her eyes that were already crying and swollen, and soon reddened again: "Why tell me so late..."
"This time I went to the United States and did a thorough inspection. This is the final conclusion... I know this is very unfair to you."
She avoided his gaze: "I'm talking about your injury, not... that."
He was silent for a long time and said: "You are not mature enough, and you don't know the importance of children to a family."
"I want to be with you, not to want it," she sobbed, biting her lip tightly, and arguing cheeky, "I want to have a baby, I'm with you."
From the time he returned to China, she hated what she was thinking about, and hated her hesitation a lot.
The more I think, the more I cry, the more I cry, the more I think.
Ji Chengyang hugged her in his arms, neither stopping her with a cold voice nor comforting her with a warm voice.
When he was young, there was a little girl by his side who always liked to cry. At first he felt that the little girl was really squeamish, but after learning a lot, he understood that she needs an outlet to vent, crying is the least harmful way to himself and others.
He didn't want to see her crying for himself last.
But things backfired, and many of her tears shed for herself.
In the end, it was fortunate that a friend came to visit, interrupting the scene that made Ji Chengyang helpless. The doctor who had removed his liver abroad opened the door and was a little startled to see this scene. He stopped and stood awkwardly at the door.
Ji Chengyang heard the sound of the door and turned his head.
The attending doctor asked him with his mouth: Ji Yi
He didn't answer, it was acquiescence.
The doctor had a smile in his eyes, and wanted to see what Ji Chengyang's beloved girl would look like. Just when Ji Chengyang's eyes signaled him to leave, he coughed unconsciously.
The strange voice that appeared out of thin air awakened her.
Ji Yi escaped from his arms, wiped his tears, and stared blankly at the strange man standing at the door.
Uh, still a little girl.
This was completely beyond the doctor's expectation. He thought that Ji Chengyang's girlfriend must also be a woman who cherished him and stood shoulder to shoulder. "Sorry, excuse me," the doctor whispered when he grinned, "hi, little beauty, I am Yang's friend and his doctor. I cut his liver."
"Hello," she said softly, "thank you."
I cried for too long, and I couldn't make any sound in my throat.
"Thank me for what? Thank me for cutting off his liver?"
Ji Yi was heavy in her heart and didn't respond to the joke: "Do you have anything to talk about?" She asked Ji Chengyang softly.
"It's time to rest now, there is no need to talk about anything," Ji Chengyang told him so, and glanced at the doctor.
The latter laughed consciously: "It's okay, it's okay, I just want to talk to him, you continue, continue."
This doctor originally came back to China for Ji Chengyang, and stayed in Beijing for a short time, doing academic exchanges by the way. I got all the reports tonight. I want to have a meal with Ji Chengyang and talk about his illness by the way. I didn't expect to see the legendary former lover of Ji Chengyang.
Come to think of it, there should be many stories about a girl at such a young age who can be with Ji Chengyang for so many years.
The doctor imagined a picture in his mind. According to what he knew about his friend and patient, this story should have happened at least six or seven years ago, before the beginning of the Iraq War... He continued to outline this wonderful love story in his mind, and it was hip hop. Say goodbye and leave.
Being so disturbed by outsiders has unexpected results.
Ji Yi's tears were pressed back.
"I told my family that I had a divorce before returning to China, and they still can't accept it," Ji Chengyang told her. "Give me some more time and the problem will be resolved."
She nodded: "I know."
She heard what Nuannuan's father said just now.
After Ji Yi left, Ji Chengyang called the doctor for a long time and slept very late.
At 3:14 in the morning, he woke up and suddenly had a very strong desire. He wanted to smoke a cigarette and used another way to break up the replays of the gray movie-like memories in his mind.
The same was true that night when I fell asleep at Ji Yi's house that day. I couldn't fall asleep and didn't dare to wake her up, so I lay down to see her and watched quietly the whole night. I closed my eyes until the sky started to light up.
In severe cases, it is also difficult to use drugs to help sleep.
It's much better now, but why is it so serious tonight
Ji Chengyang left the room and passed the nurse's desk on duty.
There was a little nurse who was working hard, typing on the keyboard and chatting. Seeing him walking over, she hurriedly stood up and called him: "Mr. Ji, why are you out?" This is the VIP of the VIP. The hospital is from top to bottom. I have said hello, but I can't neglect it. Ji Chengyang told her that he wanted to go out to smoke.
When he spoke, there was no extra expression, which made people feel far away.
Because of this, the nurse did not dare to stop him too much. Thousands of warnings told him not to be too far away from the hospital, and it is best to keep it within 500 meters, so that if something happens, it will be convenient for someone to send him back urgently. Ji Chengyang also had no desire to go far, and agreed.
He left the inpatient building, bought a bag at the convenience store at the entrance of the hospital, stood in front of the old trash can, tore the plastic film and seal, and threw it into the trash can, then just knocked on the end of the cigarette box and took it. A white cigarette comes out.
In front of me is the brightly lit emergency room, with strange patients coming in and out.
No cars stop and no cars leave.
He stood in the dark, looking at these cars and people, trying to think about many things and things related to her.
He remembered that he had been in a hotel in Hong Kong. Before he really started with her, he thought about worrying about her health and feelings and giving up the smoking habit that he had cultivated for many years... Thinking about this, the cigarette was slowly let go. Back in the box.
Those gray memories that coexist with life cannot be forgotten.
But he must forcibly pull himself out of the hopeless mood, and separate himself from the darkness.
He wants to live again.