Yan Xun talked a lot tonight, it seems that he talked more than in the past month. He asked Mu Lang about the food in the army, how many members of his family were there, whether his parents were still alive, how healthy he was, how many children he had, whether he had ever studied, how many wives he had married, and even asked him with a smile about who was in the military prostitute camp. Whores are pretty.
Mu Lang was shocked, he didn't have the chance to meet Yan Xun before, and he heard everything he knew, but now that he is so approachable, he feels more and more that his original choice was not wrong. As for the woman who dared to betray His Majesty and seek refuge with Bian Tang, she was even more clueless.
This chatted into the night. The drum rang three times, Yan Xun seemed to be a little drunk, half leaned on the couch, chatted lazily, and gradually stopped talking. Mu Lang thought he was asleep, picked up the brocade quilt beside him and covered him, then carefully exited the big tent.
The big tent became quiet again, so quiet that one could hear the Yanbei long tune hummed softly by the soldiers far away, echoing so melodiously in the night sky, with a bleak taste, circling round and round. In the darkness, the man opened his eyes. Those pitch-black eyes were as clear as water, and there was not even a trace of drunkenness in them.
Only myself was left again.
It was empty and cold all around, and there was no one there. The wind outside was blowing, it was obviously warm, but when it was blown into the tent, for some reason, there was a bit of coolness. He was lying alone on a wide soft couch, covered with brocade quilts, jade pillows and bead tents. The incense sticks in the incense burner swirled up layer by layer. utility.
However, with such a gorgeous high bed and soft couch, such a quiet warm spring night, he was the only one after all. Just like that night many years ago, she was taken away by someone and traveled southward in a huge boat. He stood on the tower of Beishuo Pass, looking at the Bai Lian. The wilderness was covered with snow, and the mountains and rivers were like iron. She finally escaped his grasp and went away from him.
In fact, as early as when he was still very young, he had already anticipated the future situation.
She has always been just and kind. No matter how dangerous or difficult she is, even if she is covered with pain, she will never give up her expectations and hopes for the future. At the beginning, he was still encouraging her, but gradually, she was supporting him. She described their future for him, she told him her ideals and aspirations, she told him her political views and hopes. No matter what dangers she encounters, she can always find a solution firmly, teach him the skills of swordsmanship and arrows, and teach him military law and political strategy. Wu Daoya was his teacher in name, but he learned far more from her than from other places.
She is his good teacher and helpful friend, his relatives to rely on, and the only woman he has ever loved in his life.
However, the more this happened, the more uneasy he felt, the more worried and fearful he became. He didn't know when it started, but he suddenly realized that maybe one day they would part ways, and one day she would go away from him.
When did it start
Maybe it was when she sympathized with the slaves, maybe it was when she and Zhao Song became closer, maybe it was when she explained to him the stability and prosperity of the future society, maybe it was earlier, he couldn't remember. He just vaguely knew that one day in the future, he would eventually disappoint her, hurt her, and shatter that precious trust and dependence.
So, he tried every means to squeeze her out, trying to get her out of the military administration, not wanting her to see his bloody hands, and not wanting her to see his ferocity and cruelty in achieving his goals by any means.
He is not a hunter who breaks the wings of a white eagle, but a night owl destined to fly in the dark night. When the long eternal night passed, the world began to be divided into black and white, and he began to be afraid.
There was a deep laughter in the darkness, and his eyes were slightly fascinated. He suddenly remembered that when he was a child, the insecure teenager asked over and over again: "Will you be with me forever?"
The girl smiled brightly, raised her head and asked him, "Will you bully me?"
Will you bully me? Will you bully me? Do you know…
He closed his eyes, and the clear voice was like rolling waves, coming from all directions.
I want the best for you.
But what I think is the best is not what you want.
In the darkness, a crisp sound suddenly came. Yan Xun unfastened the buckle on his right arm, and the silver black iron armguard fell off and fell to the ground. The faint pearl light shone on it, giving it a glaze-like brilliance.
It was given to her by Zhao Song, there is a pair in total, she gave one to him, and he has been wearing it for more than ten years.
"When I decided to set off, I knew that your life was destined not to belong to me. You were born for the light, but I have too many bloody ideals, so I want you to surrender to me and obey me , Follow me all my life. Unfortunately, I still failed in the end." He laughed silently in the dark.
To achieve any goal, there is a price to pay, and he has already paid.
"No one wants to be mediocre in life. The question is, when an opportunity is presented to you, do you really dare to take it?"
In the darkness, the man's voice was low and hoarse, like an old man who had gone through several lifetimes of reincarnation. He was lying on the golden fur couch, and the mellow wine was splashed on the table, emitting an intoxicating aroma. He was dressed in brocade robes, grinning silently in the darkness, smiling like a simple child.
"Zhuge Yue, do you dare to ask for it?"
"I can't do it." Zhuge Yue looked at the man in front of him with firm eyes and said calmly.
Zhuge Muqing's head was gray and his hair was chicken-skinned. In just a few short years, all the energy of this old man had been consumed. He was like a pool of dead water, no longer alive, just staring at his son with blood red eyes with the last madness.
"Zhao Che has already been defeated, and Zhao Yang can't hold on for long. Now in the entire Great Xia, only you can turn the situation around. As long as my Zhuge family abandons Zhao Yang now, he will definitely be defeated and collapse. The whole world gathers to respond, and you will be the number one person in Great Xia at that time. Ten years later, my Zhuge clan will be able to defeat Yanbei and ascend to the throne of the Nine Cauldrons!"
Zhuge Muqing's eyes were red, like a wild beast, staring straight at his son, grabbing Zhuge Yue's shoulders with both hands, and shouting loudly: "Yue'er, Da Xia's future and destiny, my Zhuge family's future , it's all in your mind!"
Zhuge Yue looked at his father quietly, without speaking for a long time.
My father was old, and he was no longer the leader of the family who was far-sighted and disregarded the wind. He became vain, stupid, and crazy.
In his life, he never seemed to get close to his father. Since he was very young, he lost his mother. When he was young, he walked alone in the huge Zhuge mansion, as quiet as the shadow of a tree. It wasn't until he grew up and gradually relied on his own efforts to stand out among his brothers of the same generation that he let this father who had too many women and too many sons pay more attention.
But later, he fell down, was injured, and survived a narrow escape, but his family mercilessly abandoned him.
Until he took power again and brought glory to the family again, but they still chose his elder brother and wanted to put him to death. This is his family, his relatives.
Still, he couldn't completely resent them.
As Wei Shuye said, no matter how disgusted and repulsed they are, they are the children of the powerful family after all, enjoying all the glory brought by the powerful family since childhood. Similarly, they also need to bear the responsibility of being a powerful person.
After all, he is his father, the father who raised him, taught him, was happy for his achievements, and happy for his progress. Although he used to be heartless and cruel, he still gave him a peaceful and prosperous childhood. When he was too young to protect himself, he stood in front of him, protecting him and the whole family.
"Father, I can't do it." Zhuge Yue took a step back, bowed his head to his father, and bowed deeply, "A human hand is only so big, it can't hold everything."
The candlelight crackled, and the light of the fire shone on his face with a pale golden glow. He looked at his father calmly, and said quietly: "I am grateful to my father for his upbringing, but I can't do this. Daxia lost me, and there are other generals. Father lost me, and there are other sons." .And if Xing'er lost me, there would be no hope."
He bent down again, facing the father who gave birth to him, raised him, abandoned him and killed him, with calm eyes and a peaceful face, "Father, take care."
Zhuge Yue turned around and left, the candlelight shone on his back, making him look so tall and tough. Zhuge Muqing stared blankly at his son, his eyes were ashen ashes, his lips were parted, and his hands were still in the posture of grabbing his shoulders.
At this moment, he suddenly realized that maybe starting today, he would lose this son forever.
Lost this son who was favored by him, whom he placed high hopes on, but who repeatedly failed to live up to his expectations, who was whipped by him, abandoned by him, kicked out of the house by him, and assassinated by someone he sent.
The annual rings of the years flowed between the father and son, and the wind blew from outside the tent, raising his gray hair and blowing over his rickety back. He was so old all of a sudden, he could only stretch out his hands in vain, but he couldn't bring back the ruthlessly lost time.
Zhuge Yue walked slowly step by step. From a long time ago, he knew that there might be such a day, and he wanted to tell others what he really cared about in this way.
It's not about Wang Tu's hegemony, it's not about leaving his name in history, and it's not about climbing to the top and looking down on the common people alone.
All he wanted was for her to live, where he could see her, to live well.
Because there is something he wants to protect, he keeps telling himself to become stronger, but if the thing he wants to protect is gone, then what is the point of everything he does
In his life, he would never do anything that he would regret.
The curtain of the big tent was lifted, and his feet stepped in the military camp shrouded in moonlight, with the cold wind blowing on his face, making him suddenly sober as never before.
The world can be discarded and seized again, the army can be disbanded and reorganized, and people die and cannot be resurrected.
Zhao Che's words before leaving echoed in his ears again: "Recognize what you really want, and live for yourself once."
His friend, after being betrayed by his brother, was defeated all the way by the enemy, but still came all the way to see him in such a situation, just to say such a sentence that had nothing to do with the overall situation.
The army outside the camp has been assembled, and everyone is ready to go. Zhuge Yue took a deep breath, strode forward, turned over and jumped on the horse, "Let's go!"
Herbs are flying, and horseshoes are sounding, and they rush towards the distant ancient Bian Tang.
Thousands of miles of land, great imperial power, everything is in sight.
It's not that he doesn't dare, it's that he doesn't want to.