Chongyang looked at me. He has always been smart, even in front of others, but he often pretends to be stupid in front of me, such as when he comes back from Vietnam, he is pretending to be stupid. He pretended to be stupid because he had some strange thoughts on many things. I either didn't notice it before, or noticed it and ignored it, but now I have to make it clear.
I took a few more bites and felt the atmosphere on the table was a bit stiff, so I said, "This plate of meat is a bit salty."
"It may be hot again." Chongyang said.
"You don't want to put pressure on me?" I asked suddenly. This topic changed abruptly, but I thought, if I had to carefully consider words and sentences in front of Double Ninth Festival, what is the point of doing all this
"You don't actually have to do so much for me." Chongyang said after a moment of silence.
I rubbed my temples and ran around for a day. I really couldn't bear it, but I still had to finish the last thing in the plan, "Why." I asked him.
"feel."
"To be clear, when you usually talk back to me, you don't talk as much as you do now." I said helplessly, "right here, I and you have said everything that should be said, and forget the things that were forgotten before, inconspicuous. What you shouldn’t say, what you don’t want to say, talk about everything, go to bed early after you say it."
Chongyang looked at me and suddenly smiled, "You have changed so much. You didn't force me like that before."
"I'm not forcing you, I'm pushing my heart." I said.
Chongyang thought for a while, "Do you know why I left Yuanshan Garden."
What he said was that this time he left Yuanshan Garden and went to Vietnam alone.
"You said that you think of something and feel that things in Vietnam are related to you. It seems that this feeling is correct."
"This is just one." Chongyang said, "The key is why I have to leave alone."
Yes, this issue was indeed ignored by us. The two sides did not discuss this issue consciously or unconsciously. Now he took the initiative to talk about it, and it seems that he really intends to put my heart down.
"Then why do you want to go alone?"
"Because I recall some things, roughly what I did back then."
"A thousand years ago?"
"That's right." Chongyang nodded, "If you say that every time you fall asleep after amnesia, you will die once, most of the memories I remember come from before the first death."
It is from the real Double Ninth Festival. As for the memories of other periods, once forgotten, it will be difficult to recall them in the future, just like the present.
"It's about why I became like this." Chongyang said.
"Then why did you become like this."
"It is indeed related to the Secret Investigation Bureau. Of course, the Secret Investigation Bureau at that time was not called the Secret Investigation Bureau, but the Lantern Division. It's just that the person in charge was still from the Ning family, but you still remember what the mother of the wet dragon said Have you ever, I'm from the royal branch of the Song Dynasty."
"remember."
"But a lampmaster, dare to experiment with a royal bloodline?"
"It may dare, it may not dare, and it may be that they dare not dare, not in the historical situation of the time, I can not speculate about the people at that time."
"But I know that they are the third possibility you mentioned. I dare not dare, because I volunteered to be the test product. I was the person who launched the entire royal family, so the Lantern Division had to take over me. This hot potato."
I was silent for a while, looking at the steaming food on the table, and sighed, "Then, do you know what I did today? I ran to Chongqing and told Bai Ye that his girlfriend Bai Ye was dead. Back in Beijing, I went to my sister-in-law's house in the middle of the night to tell him that Ningshan is missing, and Hu Qinan will come tomorrow to start the transfer of Shanchuan real estate."
"I do these things because I want to throw out the big or small burdens that have been weighing on my mind, and throw out the obstacles that have always hindered me from making choices, and even to deal with them rudely and anxiously regardless of what others think. These things."
Chongyang listened to me quietly. His expression was very calm. He just looked at me and saw that I turned my gaze to him. He said, "When a person is doing something, he can't bear too much on his body, whether it comes from moral pressure or from within. All the pressures need to be sorted out as soon as possible before they can go into battle lightly."
"Yes, we will try our best tomorrow, so before that, you should be my last burden. Do you think that I am willing to help you because of guilt? I am willing to do these things because of me. Want to compensate you on behalf of the Ning Family?"
Chongyang did not speak.
"So you left Yuanshan Garden alone, because you suddenly knew that the Ning family didn't owe you too much, because it was your voluntary choice back then. But under the wet Jiao Lake, the blood chose me instead of Choosing you, you feel that I feel guilty towards you, so you think that I have been pretending to make up for you during this period of time?"
"I didn't feel hypocritical!" Chongyang said suddenly.
I was taken aback, and realized that my words did seem malicious, so I rubbed my face, "I said the wrong thing, but do you always think I did it out of guilt, but you don’t need it? My pity and guilt, so you have been pretending to be dumb during this period of time, never mentioning your own affairs, and not putting pressure on me on your affairs?"
Chongyang smiled, "Isn't it?"
I was suddenly discouraged. Although I had guessed the idea of Chongyang for a long time, it is still frustrating to be viewed this way after I have done so many things.
I said softly, "Of course not, dog stuff, when I took you to Qionglai Mountain, when I supported you to continue walking, do I know that you are an experiment in the Longevity Plan? In the undead tree in the underground palace of the Xiao Clan, I told you before, we are friends, did you fucking forget?"
Chongyang said, "I haven't forgotten."
I exhaled, "Do you know why I suddenly made up my mind today? I looked at him," because last night, I suddenly remembered the scene where I was separated from Bai Ye when I was a child. I don't want this situation to happen again. After all, I am not the age when I was a child when I was easily distracted by other things. "
"I have done so many things, not because you are the test product of the longevity plan, nor because I have pity for you, but because you are Chongyang, just because of these two words, understand?"
He hadn't spoken for a long time, so he kept listening to me, until I asked him, he looked at me complicatedly, "I see."
I finally leaned back on the chair, "Actually, I was not so nervous about the other two things today. After all, it is the emotions of other people. Even if I can empathize, I cannot truly empathize. But here you are. , I am really afraid that you will keep misunderstanding me like this."
"Actually, it's not a big deal." Chongyang said softly.
I smiled, "Yeah, it's not a big deal at all, but I still spend so much time and hypocrisy, but it's actually a hurdle in my heart that I can't get through. I didn't make it clear today. You can't do what I do. Still follow me to do it, but I don’t want the person who walks forward with me in the end, but there is a gap between each other. I don’t want to go down with a moral burden."
"I understand." Chongyang said.
"You have always been a boring gourd. I like to think about many things in my heart." I pinched my eyebrows. "Clean up the dishes and chopsticks. I will wash them tomorrow morning."
"Okay." Chongyang got up to tidy up the table and asked me: "Can I go to bed?"
"If you want to sleep, go to bed, am I your father? Ask me everything."
He shrank his head and went back to his room to go to sleep. I suddenly stopped him and said, "Stop, don't you take a shower."
"No." He returned obediently, found clothes and went to take a bath.
I checked the time. It was past three o'clock and I was planning to go to bed. When I passed the bathroom, I heard the sound of water splashing inside and stopped for a while.
"Why?" Chongyang said in a vague voice.
I remembered that the door of Gu Tang's bathroom could see a vague shadow left by outsiders from the inside, which was quite frightening to speak of.
"You said, will you forget me in the future?"
This time he didn't answer that he didn't know, but instead said loudly, "That's definitely not."
I went to bed contented. (End of this chapter)