During the summer vacation when Song Shu and Qin Lou were promoted to their second year of high school, the Qin family's investment company established a firm foothold in Bai Song's office. Bai Song's assignment abroad was thus officially ended, and he returned home after completing the work handover.
The news came from the head of the Qin family, who arrived a week in advance.
As soon as summer vacation came, Qin Lou and Song Shu would move to the master's house. This had become a routine over the years. The news of Bai Song's return to China was sent to Qin Liang's study, and inevitably reached Qin Lou's ears.
Qin Lou felt as if he was facing a formidable enemy when he heard this - in recent years, whenever Bai Song returned to China, the first thing he did was to visit his daughter at Qin's house. As Song Shu's personality became more outgoing and she learned to express herself under Qin Lou's influence, the mother and daughter got along better and better.
So no matter what Qin Lou thought, as soon as Bai Song returned to the country, his little clam shell would definitely be taken away along with him.
He got irritable at the thought of that.
It was just a coincidence that when the news came, Song Shu went to participate in a summer camp at a well-known university in Q City and was not at the Qin family -
There was no one who could "put out the fire", and no one dared to stop the chaos in Qin Lou, and the whole family was miserable.
After the servants were tortured for several days and could no longer bear it, someone finally reported the matter to Mr. Qin.
Qin Liang asked someone to call Qin Lou to the study.
Qin Lou came in with a whole square box of pencils of different hardness. After sitting on the sofa, he opened the box and picked up a pencil to sharpen.
When Qin Liang got away from his work, he turned around and frowned when he saw it, "What are these pencils you are holding for?"
“For drawing.”
Qin Liang was stunned. "You are interested in painting recently? Don't play with the Rubik's Cube anymore?"
"Little Clam likes it."
--When Song Shu was not around, Qin Lou liked to call her like this to everyone, because it was very intimate, and he was very gangster and authoritarian and would not allow anyone else to use this name.
After the explanation, Qin Lou suddenly remembered something and looked up with a frown, "When did I start liking playing with the Rubik's Cube?"
"Sixth-order Rubik's Cube, my family bought a truckload of it."
"She likes it, too." Qin Lou took it for granted, and after thinking for two seconds, he added, "But she doesn't play with it herself, she likes to watch me play. The structure of that thing is not strong, and it is easy to break."
"… "
Qin Liang knew that his grandson had always been obsessed with the Book of Song, but he didn't know he was so capable.
He shook his head in annoyance and amusement.
"You know that your Aunt Bai is going back to China, right?"
It would be fine if we didn't mention this. Once it was mentioned, the smile on Qin Lou's face suddenly sank.
Seeing that his grandson didn't say anything, Qin Liang said, "I called you here to discuss with you when to let Song Shu move out."
“—Crack.”
The pencil in Qin Lou's hand was broken.
It wasn't the pencil lead that broke, but the entire slender pen shaft that broke in the middle, splitting into sharp wooden thorns.
There was silence in the study for a moment.
Qin Liang sighed helplessly, "Qin Lou, Song Shu can't stay with you forever."
"Why not?"
Qin Lou raised his head coldly, with a hint of ferocity suppressed deep in his eyes.
"You are still students now, you can go to school and play together, but in the future..."
"I will marry her in the future. The two families can get engaged first, and after exchanging marriage certificates, the Qin family will also be her home, and Aunt Bai can live in with her."
"… "
Qin Liang choked. He looked at Qin Lou in shock, but found that the boy showed no signs of impulse. Although Qin Lou's emotions were not calm, when he said this, it sounded more like he had been brewing this sentence in his mind countless times.
Qin Liang hesitated.
"Let's not talk about whether your Aunt Bai would agree or not. Have you mentioned this to Song Shu?"
"… No."
"Why not?"
"… "
Qin Lou stopped talking.
Yeah, why not mention it.
Because he didn't know and wasn't sure whether his little clam also had the same feelings for him as he did, and could only fall deeper and deeper into them.
He can't live without her, but she may not.
So he didn't dare to mention it. How could a madman who didn't even know where his future would end up talking to her about the future
Let alone "later", he didn't even dare to mention "now".
The boy held the broken pencil tighter and tighter in his hand, and he seemed to have no idea when the splinter at the crack pierced his palm.
Qin Liang couldn't bear to watch.
He knew better than anyone how strange and perverse this grandson's personality was. He also knew that Song Shu might be the only panacea for Qin Lou.
Because I know...
"Qin Lou, if you really want to be with Song Shu for a long time, then you have to learn to let go now. You can't think like a child anymore. You can force her to stay for a day or two, but you can't force her to stay for a lifetime - forcing her will only make people alienated."
“… What if I can’t let go?” The boy’s voice was a little hoarse.
Qin Liang sighed, "You can go to the same school and the same class. I won't interfere with what you want to do in the future. You can just follow her. But you have to let her have her own life. Her life can't all be about you. If you can't even tolerate her mother being with her, then I won't hand Song Shu over to you."
"… "
The study was quiet for a long time.
Qin Lou stood up holding the box. The box contained many sharpened pencils, which he had sharpened one by one during the days when Song Shu was away.
When he was cutting, he felt as if he was polishing the dark emotions and desires that were growing in his deepest parts. But those emotions and desires were different - no matter how much he cut and suppressed them, they would always come back stronger.
He knows that this is wrong and that is not good.
But he couldn't do it.
He grabbed his only light in the dark night, and countless voices told him to loosen his grip, let go...
But how can he do it
"I will, think about it."
Qin Lou said this. Then he held the box and walked out of the study.
When walking onto the corridor, Qin Lou saw a figure passing by quickly at the corner not far away.
It was a little familiar, and very rushed.
It’s just that Qin Lou was in a bad mood, so he ignored him and turned back to his room.
Even though Qin Lou was reluctant, Bai Song still returned to his country.
Moreover, on the day when Bai Song visited Mr. Qin at the Qin family, Qin Lou discovered that there was a girl beside Bai Song. He was lying on the stairs on the second floor and heard Bai Song say that she was the daughter of her sister Bai Ge, but she was two years younger than Song Shu, so she was also Song Shu's cousin, named Luan Qiaoqing.
Qin Lou suddenly felt very unwell.
Because this means that Song Shu not only has to go home, but also will have a new playmate by his side after returning home - it doesn't matter whether it's a man or a woman, but it wouldn't do to have a new playmate who might threaten his position.
But he said no, and obviously he couldn't make Luan Qiaoqing disappear. Luan Qiaoqing's mother died very early, and her father's new wife didn't like her very much, so she had to be taken care of by her aunt Bai Song.
Song Shu might spend more time with this new girl than he and her...
Qin Lou went to Song Shu's room depressed.
Song Shu was drawing on her desk, one picture after another, all of which were people and scenery she saw in the summer camp.
Her things were packed into several small boxes and piled in the corner of the room.
She had to leave after all.
Qin Lou stood by the door without saying anything.
The young man, who already had handsome facial features, lowered his eyes and was rarely so quiet.
He could actually go crazy, because he had always done that before. Make it so out of control, so horrified everyone, so that they would only follow his wishes... Then maybe he could keep his little clam shell for another day, or two.
But he didn't do that.
"Qin Lou."
Qin Lou heard the voice and looked up.
Song Shu stood in front of him at some point, holding the sketchbook she had been holding and a sixth-level Rubik's Cube.
"This is a gift," Song Shu first gave him the sketchbook, and then placed the Rubik's Cube on top of the sketchbook, "This is a task."
Qin Lou said nothing and continued looking at her.
There were too many emotions struggling and ferociously manifesting in the boy's eyes, too many to contain, too many to overflow, too many to swallow up the girl standing in front of him.
Song Shu seemed unaware of the danger.
She even smiled at him, with the corners of her eyes slightly curved. The arc was not obvious, but it was just right in his eyes.
"Do you know why I always turn the Rubik's Cube for you?"
"… "
"An aunt I knew before said that this is a psychological suggestion method. Every time you are emotionally unstable, she asks you to restore the Rubik's Cube. If you have emotional fluctuations again, it can help you calm down."
"… "
Song Shu shook the Rubik's Cube and said, "We can call it a psychological tranquilizer. What do you think of this name?"
"… "
Seeing that Qin Lou still refused to cooperate, the smile on Song Shu's face faded little by little.
"Don't you like the name?"
"like."
The boy spoke, put the sketchbook aside, and picked up the Rubik's Cube.
Then with a snap, it broke into pieces and was thrown away.
Qin Lou stared at Song Shu, his eyes beginning to show some ferocity.
"But it's not that. It's never been my psychological sedative."
Song Shu looked at the broken Rubik's Cube for two seconds, then sighed softly.
"So angry?"
Qin Lou gritted his teeth and sneered, "If it were someone else, they would be counting down and preparing to run now."
"I'm not running."
The girl said these three words without any expression or fluctuation. Then she thought about it seriously.
"School will start soon. The classes at No. 2 Middle School are very, very long during the day, so we just won't see each other at night. Is it better to think this way?"
"No."
Song Shu sighed softly again.
"Well, how about this?"
As the words fell, the girl stood on tiptoe and hugged the boy in front of her, who had become much taller than her without her knowing when.
The soft fragrance from her body wafted up towards me.
The scent of a young girl who has begun to develop, mixed with the smell of violet-scented shampoo.
Qin Lou froze.
The girl beside him tilted her head hesitantly, not knowing that her slightly burning breath had burned the boy's fair earlobes red—
"Don't be afraid, I will always be your doll."
"… "
The boy's fingers hanging at his side moved.
Then he clenched it little by little, until it was so tight that he trembled.
He didn't dare let her see, didn't dare to hug him back, and didn't dare to speak.
He was afraid his secret would be exposed -
Just a doll was far, far from enough for him.