Through a layer of sweater, Zhao Bingzhi could feel the warmth of his palm.
Her scalp was numb, her brain was in a daze, and when she finally came back to her senses, she pushed Yan Shuning away.
The sensor light above the head was off, the light at the stairs was dim, and a small window on the side let in the cold moonlight in the early spring outside.
After a long silence—
Zhao Bingzhi heard the man's voice: "Trust my sincerity, huh?"
"I'm a little messed up."
Zhao Bingzhi hurriedly interrupted him, and said in a low voice, "With your current status, what kind of woman do you want? Why waste your time on me."
"But so many years have been wasted."
Yan Shuning seemed to smile.
The distress in his tone made Zhao Bingzhi's heart tremble.
She can no longer say words such as "we are not suitable", and feels that no matter what she says, it is a kind of harm to him.
But it was really hard for her to accept Yan Shuning.
Not to mention how many years she is older than him, just the fact that she was married and her daughter is in her twenties made her feel ashamed in front of him.
She is not young anymore, even among her peers, she is well maintained. But the fine lines at the corners of the eyes, the occasional white hair on the head, and the increasingly loose skin all remind her all the time that she is nearly half a century old and youth is gone.
Half of life is gone, so mediocre.
"Aning."
She almost evoked his nickname with a little inferiority, and tried to speak in a relaxed tone, "You have been in the army for more than 20 years, and it is rare to see a few women. It hasn't been long since you changed jobs, and you are busy. , the opposite sex that I have been in contact with the longest in my life may be me. This kind of environment will influence your judgment to a certain extent, making you mistakenly think that you like me eh—”
The last word was forced to change the pronunciation.
Yan Shuning lowered his head and kissed her.
How decent!
This was Zhao Bingzhi's thought at that moment.
She yelled and pushed the person out.
But she forgot that Yan Shuning was a man after all, a man with a height of 1.9 meters, a strong physique and a tough style. Boiling the frog in warm water was just a strategy. When he opened the layer of window paper, he naturally had the determination to win.
After her divorce, her body, which had been cold for several years, was easily awakened by him.
Confined within a square inch, aware of the changes and longings in his body, Zhao Bingzhi was in a panic, and tilted his head wildly, avoiding those fiery kisses.
When her jaw was pinched, she let out a "huh huh" sound.
After an indescribable amount of time, Yan Shuning stopped slowly, holding her face in one hand, panting and calling: "Sister."
Zhao Bingzhi collapsed.
His body was so limp that he said in a trembling voice, "Why are you bothering?"
"elder sister."
A man in his forties, like a stalking wolf dog, whispered in her ear, "I've seen a lot of women. I can't find a suitable one in the army. These are all lies to my mother." Do you believe it? You can like that hypocrite Fu Heng, and you are willing to marry a bastard like Ruan Chengyi, so what if you think about me?"
He bit her earlobe, "Try with me, um... I'm definitely better than them."
"do not talk!"
"Want me?"
He became obscene, pinched her buttocks with his big hands, pressed his long legs against hers, and said in a low and hoarse voice, like the devil's coaxing, trying to drag people into hell, "If it's because of embarrassment, then don't treat me like a swallow." Shu Ning, you can just treat it as anyone else. I don't care about those fake names, I have missed you for so many years, and the only obsession is to get you."
Zhao Bingzhi pinched his arm with one hand, almost unable to stand still.
She even imagined that the next moment, the man in front of her would directly carry her upstairs.
She may have difficulty saying no.
The emotions of adults are often turbulent and direct, and it is difficult for reason to resist.
But Yan Shuning's big hand wandered around for a while, but stopped. He pinched the back of her neck with one hand, forcing her to look up. After another deep kiss, he suppressed his breath and said in her ear: "I'll give you time Consider whether you want me."
Suddenly being let go, Zhao Bingzhi was swept away by emptiness.
Her legs trembled, and she could hardly stand still. One hand clasped on the wall, supporting her precarious body.
Yan Shuning didn't seem to notice her strangeness, he looked down at her, and with a creaking sound of a hand beside him, he said very restrainedly: "I'm offended, forgive me."
After saying this, he strode up the steps.
Hearing the footsteps disappear at the corner of the stairs, Zhao Bingzhi squatted down against the wall as if his legs were weak.
At this moment, she wanted Yan Shuning.
What kind of etiquette, righteousness and shame, the law of human relationship, seems to be not so important all of a sudden.
She didn't expect that Yan Shuning just used such a trick to play hard to get after some probing. He deliberately aroused her desire, but he wanted her to miss him, pay attention to him, and turn her eyes and thoughts involuntarily. She threw herself towards him, was drawn by him, and lost her mind for him.
This approach was a little despicable, but deep down in his heart, he wanted to torture Zhao Bingzhi.
He just lied...
In fact, he not only wanted her as a person, but also wanted her warm heart and the title she gave him. He looked forward to the day when he would become Zhao Bingzhi's man.
But Zhao Bingzhi didn't know all of this.
Yan Shuning's obsession, tyranny, impulsiveness, tenderness, all kinds of things moved her and shocked her. She never thought that after two failed relationships, there was a person in this world who would hold his fiery heart to her In front of her eyes, begging for her mercy.
He is such a proud man, yet he loses his dignity and the bottom line by saying "Don't take me as Yan Shuning".
How can she be treated like this
After squatting for too long, when Zhao Bing got up, his feet were numb.
She leaned on the wall and returned home absent-mindedly. The lights in the dining room had been turned off. Ruan Yue took a bath in the public bathroom and left a light in the entrance for her.
The sound of water came from the bathroom, but the living room was very quiet. The warm atmosphere gradually made Zhao Bingzhi calm down.
I'm not in the mood to sleep...
Yan Shuning's words were all in his mind, as well as the moment when the two got along during this period of time. It wasn't enough for all of this to pour in, those pictures about him when she was young also ran out from the depths of her memory, messing up her thoughts.
She just found out—
It turned out that a long time ago, he had been calling her good sister.
There are so many children in the compound, no matter how affectionate others are, they will at most call them Sister Bingzhi.
He was the only one who always spoke with a hint of cynicism. He was not afraid to see her cold face. Since he was in his teens, he loved to act coquettishly to her.
"Good sister, don't tell my parents about this."
"Sister, you are the best."
"My sister still hurts me."
One sentence after another, pieced together the youthful appearance.
Zhao Bingzhi felt that he couldn't think about it anymore.
She got up, but didn't know what she wanted to do. She walked to the master bedroom, took out two pieces of clothes, and planned to wash them in the washing machine.
Glancing over Ruan Yue's room, he happened to see her clothes on the laundry basket.
Zhao Bingzhi walked in, picked up her clothes and trousers and draped them in her arms, and reached for her trouser pockets as she walked to the balcony.
Fingertips touched the cool and smooth packaging bag.
She was stunned, and took a look with her hand, only to find that there were indeed three condoms in her hand.
The sound of water in the bathroom stopped abruptly.
Ruan Yue dawdled inside for a while, and when she opened the door wearing long pajamas, she caught a glimpse of Zhao Bingzhi sitting on the sofa.
On the sofa next to her, there were several clothes.
On top are the jeans she just changed out of.
Ruan Yue's heart skipped a beat, and she walked up to her hesitantly, and saw three condoms on the coffee table.
"mom."
She called out in a small voice.
Zhao Bingzhi raised his eyes: "Did you go out to meet Lu Chen this afternoon?"
Ruan Yue didn't know how to refute, so she simply didn't refute. She was silent for a long time, and gave a low "um".
Zhao Bingzhi looked at her fixedly.
She had already turned on the light in the living room, her face was turned pale by the light, her serious expression made Ruan Yue uncontrollably nervous, and she clenched her fingers tightly.
After looking at her for a long time, Zhao Bingzhi suddenly asked, "What do you like about him?"
This sentence made Ruan Yue hear some tolerance.
She thought for a while and replied: "Since I was a child, he was the first person who chased me and made me feel cared about, and he was never given up. He is not the kind of boy who is outstanding at first glance. There are still many minor problems, but he is actually not bad. After studying undergraduate, he quit the school team to take care of his father in college, so he failed to develop into a professional athlete. After graduation, he found a job and made money to support himself. We were together at first When I was in the hospital, I didn't like him, so I didn't face up to his strengths and magnified his shortcomings infinitely. Until the day I was hospitalized, our relationship was very cold and rigid."
"But mom..."
She looked at Zhao Bingzhi and said softly, "Love also needs to be managed, right? When I have my own problems, I still use a magnifying glass to find his problems, which is not fair to him. He is my first Boyfriend, we... We actually had a lot of first times, which made me give up in a daze. He loves me and I love him too, I want to be with him and work hard for the future."
Zhao Bingzhi laughed and sighed, "Working hard is not enough to just talk about it. When you get older, you will find that love is not a necessity for marriage."
"But if there is no love, how can the marriage continue?"
Ruan Yue thought for a while, "And he didn't just talk about it. She knows what kind of boyfriend you want me to talk about, so he is already preparing for this year's provincial exam. You know, he is from a sports school , The recruitment exam is very advantageous."
"Then I'll wait and see?"
Zhao Bingzhi asked back, with disbelief mostly in his tone.
Ruan Yue knew her temperament, so she didn't think about convincing her with a few words, and she was very surprised to get such a concession from her.
After the mother and daughter finished talking, she went back to the room, took out her mobile phone and wanted to send Lu Chen a WeChat message, but saw that there was a message from him in the dialog box.
[What are you doing baby?]
[Miss you.]
[What are you busy with? ignore people?]
[Sleeping?]
Ruan Yue replied: [Didn't sleep. Just took a shower. My mother found out that I went out to find you in the afternoon, she scolded me and just returned to the room.]
Lu Chen: [Did you block me?]
Ruan Yue was amused by this sentence, and replied to him: [You want to be blocked by me so much?]
Before Lu Chen could reply, he added another sentence: [No. I said you were working hard to prepare for the provincial exam, but she said she would wait and see, and she didn't think much of you.]
Lu Chen asked back: [What about you? Do you like me?]
Ruan Yue considered it for a while, and said: [You don't have to stress too much. If you can’t do it this year, you’ll have to take the exam next year. Anyway, I have to take the postgraduate entrance examination, so let's take our time.]
"I want to be your boyfriend in a fair manner, and I want to be your husband sooner."
Lu Chen sent a voice.
Ruan Yue lay on the bed, and after hearing what he said, the corners of her lips could not help but curl up. She handed the phone to her lips, and called softly, "Husband."
Lu Chen was silent for a long time.
Send me a sentence: [I will die without regret.]
Ruan Yue looked at the dialog box.
She also has a sense of fullness.
Perhaps thanks to that lengthy dream, she became what she is now, got Lu Chen who she is now, and saw her mother's destination for the rest of her life in real life.
The author has something to say: I chose to end the text here because the timeline coincides with reality; the story wants to be expressed, and it is basically finished.
The inspiration comes from a very simple idea during the epidemic prevention and isolation period: [Sometimes, by changing your mentality, you can change your life and live another life.]
But writing here, I found that my clumsy pen didn't seem to explain this idea so profoundly and interestingly.